


The LGBT Season of South Park (Unofficial)

by Negira1239



Series: LGBT Season of South Park (Unofficial) [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: LGBTQ Themes, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 105,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Negira1239/pseuds/Negira1239
Summary: After the sequence of events of The Fractured But Whole, the new kid/ douchebag realizes how badly the town needs an LGBT Center. Teaming up with the other LGBT heroes/kids, they open one. Events ensue.The following ten chapters after chapter 1/Introduction are similar in format to actual South Park episodes; each will contain their own story lines, themes, conflicts, etc. I'm trying this new style of creating episode based chapters that tell the story entirely without adding too much excessive details.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Just somethings to establish. First off, I'd hope everyone reading this could possibly learn something about being an LGBT member or Ally. Secondly, take my writings with a grain of salt. After all, I'm no writing professional. Finally, I try to use PC language and correct/proper usage of language for LGBT allies in this series, and sometimes it will become confusing. That's why I wanted to establish this small chart beforehand.
> 
> Tweek- Cisgender male, homosexual, he/him  
> Craig- Cisgender male, homosexual, he/him  
> Wendy- Gender-fluid, pansexual, she/her, (they/them? he/him?)  
> Kyle- Cisgender male, asexual, he/him  
> New kid/Douchebag- gender-fluid asexual. They/them (no he/she)*
> 
> And there is a certain reason why I wanted to establish the new kid as they them and Wendy as she her without using they them pronouns. First off, the new kid is often thrown talked about in the games (both SOT, FBW, and Phone Destroyer) for not really identifying with a gender. Or, they were joked around being both a boy, and a girl. Well personally, I honestly think that ultimately, the new kid can identify as anything, but for now, I think the new kid is having gender identity problems and has not officially established what they would like to be associated as. 
> 
> And for Wendy, Wendy is also known as Call Girl, but identifies as Gender Fluid. I understand that this also ties in with the episode she identified as transgender and had then name Wendell. That's why I feel like Wendy fits the gender-fluid identity better- because she has the ability to switch from Wendy to Wendell. So when Wendell is in the fan fiction, I'll sub in he/him for their pronouns. 
> 
> Final thing not regarding LGBT or PC language. I ship Creek. Hard. Deal with it. 
> 
> -Negira

 

Craig absolutely hated the new kid.

 

Actually, he didn’t exactly hate the new kid. He just didn’t like several things about the guy... girl... or whatever gender the new kid identified as.

 

Back in the year 627 AD, in their times of fantasy, Craig, or Felspar, was at the top of the thief game. Being a level 12 thief at the Kingdom of Kupa Keep- he didn’t know why Cartman named the kingdom the KKk, nor if Token knew about what he shouted when they raided the Giggling Donkey- he was at the top of his game. Craig could pick any lock, pull off assassin-like moves, and he could summon clones of himself. And then the new kid moved into town.

 

Craig didn’t like or hate the new kid when he started playing with them. At first, the new kid didn’t seem to pose any threats- they picked the Jew class, and eventually became Sir Douchebag. But after Cartman banished his best friend Clyde into space and time- the new kid started leveling up insanely. Before Craig knew it, he was promoted by the Elven King Kyle to Commander Douchebag.

 

Around that time, Clyde had asked Craig if he would join his army of darkness. Craig was hesitant at first, but after Clyde revealed that he stole the stick of truth from Cartman, he jumped on board as soon as he can.

 

And then the new kid overthrew him and Clyde... and the government... and Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny. Afterwards, Cartman promoted him to King Douchebag.

 

And that moment became the day the Elves and the Humans became a single alliance. In a way, the new kid united them all.

 

So what was Super Craig doing outside of Tweek’s Coffee Shop?

 

After the Coon and Friends franchise admitted that everyone didn’t have equally proportional movies or video games or Netflix series, Tweek- or Wonder Tweek- left along with Toolshed, TuppleWear, Professor Timmy (technically, he wasn’t part of Coon and Friends originally, but who cares) and Mysterion. They formed their own franchise called Freedom Pals, and ever since then they both fought about franchise money and reputation.

 

Because of this split in franchises, he and Tweek broke up. Even though they didn’t publicly announce it like last time, (now that Craig thought about it, technically Super Craig broke up with Wonder Tweek) the Asian girls still drew depressing fan art about their fights on Coonstagram. Occasionally, he and Tweek would have arguments over the social media, but it wasn’t common to see them fight each other in real life.

 

It was after a few days Craig realized he left his laptop at Tweek’s House. He nicely asked Tweek for it back, but the little shit replied, “I want Stripe back.”

 

And that’s why he was patiently waiting for the new kid to come meet him in front of the coffee shop. The new kid was the most neutral kid in the whole friend group after all. They never exposed secrets, never yelled or angrily acted upon their self conscious- they were often the third party when it comes to arguments. Craig was glad that there was someone he could contact to do this for him. Clyde was too busy and horny at Raisins; Token was always away looking for his parents after they unexpectedly disappeared, and Jimmy was busy being the fast pass service for Coon and Friends (he was also busy interrogating and housing Classi as well).

 

“There he is,” Craig spoke quietly to himself. The new kid was walking from the fast pass station near the movie theater. Craig wondered why he didn’t use the fast pass near the U-Stor-It next door, but didn’t want to question him.

 

“Hey New Kid.”

 

* * *

 

Tweek opened the doors to the gymnasium slowly. The heavy metal opened wide enough for his slim and skinny body to go through, before shutting itself behind him. Mr. Mackey sat at a chair at the other side of the basket ball court with three other chairs beside him. He made his way across the court, waving at the air head whilst reminiscing what just happened.

 

Earlier, the new kid had entered the coffee shop looking for him. Tweek always thought of the new kid as a mysterious force that came out of no where. After defeating Cartman, Craig, and Clyde back in their elven/fantasy times, the new kid became king. Tweek never questioned how the new kid became so powerful in such a short amount of time, but he knew he was the only other person with actual super powers.

 

After Tweek realized the new kid was acting as the mediator for his relationship with Craig, Tweek became a bit angry at the new kid. Sure, the new kid took the same side as Cartman and the Coon and Friends Franchise, but siding with Craig was something he didn’t like about the new kid. He also didn’t like how the new kid was getting the attention of everyone else.

 

The new kid handed Tweek the note from Craig, and he read it. After exchanging several notes, the new kid handed him a flyer for couples counseling. Tweek looked at the new kid, trying to see if they were serious. The new kid still looked monotone and plain, as if the kid didn’t have any emotions at all. The note also said that the new kid would come along too for support.

 

Truth be told, Tweek preferred the new kid over a lot of other kids in their friend group of guys. He didn’t actually know what the new kid identified as, as he never read his hero sheet, but he knew for a fact that he was born and identified as male. Tweek preferred the new kid for a variety of reasons- and most of the reasons involve him being quiet and not talking. He never admitted this before, but he half loved and half hated the new kid for his silence. Sure, he would never expose personal secrets, but if you think about it, the new kid can never vent or communicate with others- they’re essentially killing themselves, and it hurt Tweek every time he heard the new kid was involved with something.

 

That’s why Tweek only asked of him the simplest of favors. Getting a delivery for the special grounds was simple, in comparison to busting stupid Craig out of detention. That’s why he felt a bit guilty for making the new kid the middle man in between him and Craig.

 

And that’s how he ended up at the gymnasium in school... for couples counseling. And speaking of couples...

 

* * *

 

Tweek was at less than ten percent of his maximum health after three rounds into the battle. The new kid was alone and on the other side of the court, facing resentments and accusations. Craig had finished his turn by charging and head butting a kid with expectations labeled on his shirt. He was also low on health too, and the new kid was almost out of health consumables.

 

Tweek considered his options. Maybe he should heal Craig and just hope for the new kid to heal him.

 

With bleeding calculated in, expectations fell to the floor, making him the third kid they took down after withdrawal and victimization.

 

Mr. Mackey announced, “Expectations doesn’t go down that easy! THERE’S ALWAYS MORE EXPECTATIONS!” After that, four more kids named expectations came into the battle.

 

“Oh, oh god!” Tweek panicked, seeing how they were being out numbered 2:1.

 

“You boys have to work together if you’re gonna eliminate all of those expectations, mkay!”

 

“Tweek...” Craig, who was conveniently standing a square away from him, said to him, “He’s right.”

 

“Huh?” Tweek questioned.

 

“We’re only going to get rid of those expectations, and everyone else, if we do it together.” Craig looked at him with desperation, and that’s when Tweek finally noticed it.

 

Craig was calling for his help for once.

 

“Craig...” Tweek smiles, purring his hand over his heart. “Yeah! Let’s do it Craig!” The two of them got back to their positions.

 

Luckily, it was Tweek’s turn in the timeline. The new kid looked at Tweek, and gave him the thumbs up. He gave him the ultimate.

 

“Too much pressure!” He cried out into battle. He moved into the center of the crowd, and used his ultimate ability: Eros Eruption.

 

Craig moved to Tweeks spot, standing next to the electricity based super hero. He let out his right hand, and Tweek grasped for it with his left. A light Japanese string instrument of some sort could be heard in the background, followed by a bang of several taiko drums. The scene changes and the two are now anime-mized and speaking Japanese.

 

Tweek spoke first, “今だょ。君のカを僕にさょうだい...” (It’s time. Please lend me your power...)

 

Craig then followed, “ああ。ふたりでー緒たイこう!” (Alright! Let’s go together!*)

 

They then leaned close to each other. Both of their faces were inches away from each other. They both chanted, “溢れ出した愛はーつとなり世界を満たす!” (We’ll fill this world with our overflowing, combined love!) The two boys, for a flash of a second, joined hands and were both flashed naked with only their underpants on.

 

The cut scene ended and the two boys were both floating in mid air with joined hands. A bright pink smoke with pink flowers infested the room as “Let’s fighting love” played in the back ground. The pink smoke cleared up immediately as soon as they floated back to the ground.

 

The pink spike inflicted heavy damage onto all of the opponents and also gave them the confused status condition. Most of the kids had passed out from the damage, and now the remaining kids were hitting their own teammates.

 

Tweek looked over to Craig, who had returned to his spot. He didn’t realize that he could cause this much chaos with Craig helping him...

 

_Wait a minute, Craig and I did this..._

 

The smile on Tweek’s face grew wider as he witnessed Craig used his “Mega Palm Punch” on the last kid.

 

* * *

 

After that counseling, the two super heroes had put aside their differences, despite themselves being in different franchises. The two had tried to keep the topic of the franchises away as they regularly hung out, but it had slowly became difficult.

 

One of the main things that really made it difficult was the new kid “joining” the Freedom Pal’s franchise. Craig had to keep two secrets while the new kid went incognito for the Coon and Friends.

 

First, he had to lie to Tweek that the new kid was still in Coon and Friends, and also had to lie about the fact that he felt betrayed in front of Tweek to earn his trust. He also had to remember and lie about how much he hated the new kid for bailing on Coon and Friends. And despite the lies, he actually didn’t hate the new kid anymore.

 

Sure, the kid was really annoying with the whole “no talking” thing, but he also liked that about him... her... them? He really needed to look up his character sheet on Coonstagram.

 

In total, Craig moved the new kid to a whole new level of friendship that’s almost as the same tier as Token and Clyde.

 

“What are you thinking about, Craig?” Tweek asked, bringing Craig back to reality. The two were at his house in his bedroom, watching the new season 2 of Stranger Things and also grooming Stripe... #4 (He didn’t kill the last three on purpose they all died by natural causes you whores). _Low key I feel like maybe there’s some story between the first three Stripes, and I feel like Craig is just horrible at names._

 

“Oh.” Craig looked back at the monitor. On the screen stood a girl who had psychic abilities- Eleven. He realized that he thought up of the new kid because she too was a foreigner into the town and then started to turn shit up. “I’m just thinking about the new kid.”

 

“Gah! Does he have a name?” Tweek asked. “I only heard people call him Douchebag and the New Kid.”

 

“Wait, he’s a boy?” Craig asked.

 

“Gah! Maybe we should look at his character sheet.” Tweek pulled his phone out and opened Coonstagram. “It’s says he’s... gender fluid?” Tweek announced, “So I think the safest pronoun to use is they.”

 

Craig’s phone vibrated. It was an alert from the Coon.

 

“Fuck. I have to go to work.” Craig sadly announced. The two established that work equals opposing franchises.

 

“What do you guys do anyways?” Tweek asked, “You guys must of set back with the new kid joining Freedom Pals.”

 

“And that’s why I’m working more.” Craig angrily replied as he got his stuff. Stripe crawled up Tweek’s arm as the blonde stood up with him. Tweek handed Stripe to Craig as soon as he got everything in tact.

 

“Thanks honey.” Craig smiled, accepting the guinea pig.

 

Tweek blushed at the nickname. “You called me honey before, and I didn’t even notice at the time.” He gave Craig a hug, “Thank you Craig.”

 

And Craig hugged him back. “Anytime Tweekers.”

 

Tweek released from his hug, and poured at him, “You know I don’t like that nickname, _Craigifer Drew_.”

 

Craigifer Drew Tucker was his full name, and only his mother and Tweek knew about that. At the last moment of the birth certificate naming process, his mother added in the -ifer and Drew at the end, making his name Craigifer Drew Tucker. His mother had never called upon him with his name (unless he got into serious trouble), but with Tweek... calling him that... turned him a bit on. Craig blushed at the name and immediately turned around. “Bye Tweek.”

 

Tweek chuckled before waving off his boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

Craig didn’t realize how fucked he was in this situation.

 

After General Disarray was defeated, Cartman broke his controller, which ultimately trapped Super Craig with a ring of lava.

 

Craig honestly didn’t know how to feel at that moment. He wasn’t scared, he wasn’t panicking- he was still relatively calm... but worried. Throughout his life, Craig didn’t really have a fear. He would always go through obstacles and challenges head on, with or without preparation. Now that he was trapped in this ring of lava, one thing flooded his mind.

 

_Tweek._

 

The two had just started dating again, and now there would be one left. Craig’s mind flooded with the thoughts of a lonely Tweek at his gravestone. _A lonely Tweek at school. A lonely Wonder Tweak..._

 

“We need an air compressor now!”

 

_There’s not one nearby._

 

“There’s one in the entrance!”

 

_You won’t make it._

 

At that moment, Craig decided to take a breather and fully accept it.

 

“It’s too late. I’m done for.” Craig explained to them.

 

And then out of no where, the new kid went forward with Stan. They grabbed the end of Stan’s sand blaster and pulled the back end of their pants down.

 

“Dude, what are you doing?” Someone asked.

 

They all watched in horror, and amazement, as the new kid fasted into the hose, spraying fart everywhere through the nozzle. The fart blew away all of the lava in front of Craig, clearing a path big enough for his escape.

 

Unfortunately, he stood too close to the spray. Craig flew back from the impact of the fart, landing on his back.

 

He was then “stabilized” by the Coon, which made him further realize that he was in the wrong franchise. Craig was very angry at the fat fuck for stabbing him with a needle, which he didn’t know had real or fake medicine in, or if he was going to get effects from that, but he realized something after that.

 

He lived. He lived to see another day...

 

He lived to see Tweek once more.

 

* * *

 

Tweek didn’t realize how fucked he was at this moment.

 

After Doctor Timothy requested the new kid to go with him and Tupperware to the Senior Center for community service, the two kids failed to entertain the old folk audience and caused them to riot.

 

Well actually, they all thought the new kid was gonna take their pain killers away.

 

Tweek was surrounded by four elders in all directions. He was about a quarter of his max health, and very much trapped next to the stage. The new kid and Tupperware were very ahead of the horde of old folk. The two had abilities that allowed them to move positions. All Tweek had were abilities that caused status conditions. Professor Chaos stood in between three older gentlemen, but he could actually escape and move out. He used his powers to slowly stun the old men, thus allowing him to move forward. Professor Chaos was the first one to make it to the end.

 

“Fellas!” Professor Chaos shouted, waving his arms in the air.

 

The new kid used a new move that they’ve recently learned that allowed them to tackle forward. They ended up two spaces away from the exit doors, next to Tupperware. The old ladies around Tweek started preparing their new attack. They all made their way around Tweek, and tossed their bags of shit at him.

 

Tweek watched in horror as several bags were in the air, about to hit him. He held his arms in a cross, ready to shield himself in case poop touches him.

 

In this moment, Tweek was worried about a million and a half things, and how a million and a half things could result in his death by the old ladies poop. But in that moment, one thing struck out of him-

 

_How would Craig react?_

 

The simple idea of Tweek not being there the next day worried him, but the idea of Craig realizing he was alone now was unthinkable- to his standards. He knew Craig would cry and become evil and wreck havoc. He knew Craig would do anything he can in his power to save him. But once Craig realizes that he will never return, that will be the moment Craig will turn suicidal.

 

Tweek closed his eyes and murmured a small prayer. He was a Buddhist in heart, but for Craig, he would pray to God if it meant he could spend the afterlife with him.

 

Tweek braced himself for impact.

 

But nothing hit his arms. Instead, there was a weird sensation around his body. And before he knew it, he was next to the new kid.

 

“What the-“ Tweek looked around and saw that he was next to the exit doors. And that’s when he realized: Tupperware had switched places with him.

 

He watched as Tupperware in the distance became protected by a giant plastic shield. The bags of poop landed around him, with him taking no damage. Tweek took a nice and relaxing breath as he exited into the outdoors on his turn.

 

When everyone was out, Tweek went over to Tupperware for saving him.

 

“Actually,” Token said, “I didn’t realize you were about to die. The new kid told me to teleport with you.”

 

Tweek looked at the new kid as Token continued, “He signaled me to you and pointed out the old ladies bringing their bags of poop out.” Token then patted his shoulder, “remember our motto?”

 

“Retribution, but with inclusion,” Tweek told him back. He looked at the new kid, who was smiling at him.

 

_What was he thinking about?_

 

* * *

 

The group of boys were very confused by what they were against.

 

The new kid- _their new kid_ \- was against the new kid- King Douchebag.

 

After teleporting them from Morgan Freeman’s taco shop to the future, the kids were all teleported to the past- the past before Eric time traveled to their time. Craig couldn’t believe that the kid could even do this sort of thing, let alone fart into a sand blaster. And he was now, standing in front of his younger self dressed in a thief outfit.

 

“This is a job for the Kong’s cunning rogue!” The younger Craig yelled. He had on the thief outfit he normally wore, but this time he held a stick almost the size of him.

 

“You’re not gonna last long fighting all of us yourself, past...” Craig realized who he was talking to, “...self.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so foolish, Stupid Craig!” Younger Craig shouted, “Bunshin no Jutsu!” He threw down a smoke ball and instantaneously four copies of him surrounded older Craig. The real younger Craig stood behind the clone in front of him.

 

“Are you serious! That’s so fucking lame.” Older Craig sighed, “Guess I gotta take this asshole on.”

 

“I got your back, Craig!” Wonder Tweek walked forward with two other boys. He was the very right.

 

“Okay,” Fastpass announces, “I’ll be the third wheel.”

 

The new kid nodded, standing the very left.

 

The new kid went to attack first. They made their first attack called Root Burst. Roots had sprouted from the ground and knocked out two clones far back. The clone in front of both Craig’s then attacked Older Craig, as it was his turn. He hit his stick on older Craig, knocking off a seventh of his health.

 

“Hey! You leave him alone!” Wonder Tweek called out.

 

“Take it easy, Tweek!” Older Craig told him. Now, it was his turn, “So if I kick my own ass, none of this will ever happen?” Craig asked.

 

“I don’t know man,” Tweek replied. “Gah!”

 

“Tweek, let’s do Eros Eruption!” Craig announced, declaring his ultimate ability.

 

“Right behind you!” Tweek ran to where Craig was, and held his hand.

 

Tweek realized that at this time, younger Craig had broken up with Tweek. So, was this going to cause something paradoxical?

 

The gong was banged, and their ultimate started to activate. The scene changes once again and the two boys became anime figures once again.

 

Tweek spoke first, “今だょ。君のカを僕にさょうだい...” (It’s time. Please lend me your power...)

 

Craig then followed, “ああ。ふたりでー緒たイこう!” (Alright! Let’s go together!*)

 

They then leaned close to each other. Both of their faces were inches away from each other. They both chanted, “溢れ出した愛はーつとなり世界を満たす!” (We’ll fill this world with our overflowing, combined love!) The two boys, for a flash of a second, joined hands and were both flashed naked with only their underpants on.

 

The cut scene ended and the two boys were both floating in mid air with joined hands. A bright pink smoke with pink flowers infested the room as “Let’s fighting love” played in the back ground. The pink smoke cleared up immediately as soon as they floated back to the ground.

 

The pink smoke also eliminated the other three Craig clones, as well as deal damage to a third of the younger Craig’s health.

 

"I'm up!" Tweek shouted, realizing that it was his turn due to their team knocking out several fake Craig's. The timeline had altered and and ended up skipping to his turn.

 

Tweek, who went back to his spot after the ultimate, went forward a step. He looked around and saw that his teammates all had serious faces on, as if this battle was going to decide life and death. The Moorish and the Elves that were watching looked angrily at Tweek and the battle, as if they wanted them to die.

 

The worst look came from one of the clone Craig’s. As they all ran out of the battle field, one gave him the finger, and dashed away. Tweek stopped moving and nervously shook. Everyone was staring at him. Everyone wanted Tweek dead. Everyone wants-

 

“Tweek!” Older Craig called out.

 

“There’s so many of them- I- I don’t know if I can do it, AUGH!” Tweek told him.

 

“Super Craig believes in you,” Craig told him, “So believe in him.”

 

“Go Tweek!”

 

Tweek looked over to the left and saw two people smiling at him. Call Girl, and the new kid. He then saw Craig’s beautiful smile once again- a smile that somehow erased the angst and the anxiety out of him.

 

Tweek got into position. “All right, I’ll try!” He then used Supreme Lightning, where dozens of lightning bolts rained from the skies and shocked the younger Thief.

 

Jimmy then took his turn and used his special dash attack. He charged through the older Craig and attacked the younger Craig. The attack also gave him a turn of invisibility, positioning him behind Younger Craig.

 

The younger Craig was about to strike, but a filthy gas filled the air, as the new kid used this opportunity to skip his turn using the Time Fart Glitch tactic.

 

Now, being the new kids turn, from skipping Younger Craig, the new kid moved to position and hurled fireballs, ending the younger Craig’s turn.

 

“You fought valiantly, Rogue! I’ll avenge you!” High Jew Elf Kyle walked to the street, holding his hockey stick. “Guards of the Dark Court, assist me in defeating these assholes!”

 

Two other kids in higher armor walked into battle holding stop sign axes.

 

“You’re a formidable foe, past me, but I’ll defeat you!” Human Kite walked forward with the new kid, Mysterion, and Call Girl.

 

“Even with your guards, you’re no match for us!” Mysterious shouted.

 

“Wow, Past-Kyle had such a cool costume!” Call Girl acknowledged, “What happened?”

 

“Hey...” Human Kite angrily called out.

 

The new Kid went first again and hurled fireballs at the High Elf Kyle. Dealing about a seventh of damage, the new kid also inflicted burning on the Elven Kyle.

 

The two guards went forward two steps, as their attacks weren’t ranged. They both ended their turn in front of Kyle.

 

The Human Kite went behind the new kid and Mysterion, and focused his energy to fire a laser at his past self. That dealt a third of his health.

 

With Mysterion’s turn, he walked to in front of Past-Kyle, and used his move, Demonic Fury. He was able to pull off a four hit combo, leaving him with a third of his health left.

 

Call Girl walked forward a step before bringing her phone out. On her turn, she used her signature move, Phone Destroyer. After texting several times, she was able to send the code. The High Jew Elf Kyle pulled out his phone, and noticed now he kept having notifications. Then, the phone screamed, “Phone Destroyer,” blowing up and ultimately ending him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

It had been two weeks since Mitch Conner was defeated by the new kid. Since then, Cartman had been heavily punished by the Freedom Pals with them removing all of the Coon’s movies and Netflix shows. Now, the Coon would be the star of the movie ALL of the heroes were in, but that was the only movie he would be in. Tweek couldn’t understand why he was still in the Freedom Pals, but then again, he didn’t care- he and Craig were given their own movies, and a shared movie together.

 

“Craig!” Tweek called our happily, wrapping his hands around his arm. The two of them were walking back from Token’s house to Craig’s. After the meeting, the two of them decided to spend the rest of the afternoon at Craig’s house. “Aren’t you excited that we get our own movie?”

 

Craig smiled at his companion. “Hell fucking yes I am.” The two of them walked across the Main Street and were at the bus stop. “I wonder what Stripe would be in the movie.”

 

“Stripe could still be a guinea pig,” Tweek told him, “Maybe he could be a giant guinea pig.”

 

“Imagine you and me, Super Craig and Wonder Tweek, riding Stripe the Giant Guinea Pig into the sun set.” Craig then started laughing immediately after that.

 

“Trampling over the heads of bigoted civilians who deny giving us the right to express ourselves!” Tweek added in, and the two laughed even harder.

 

The two eventually ended up at Craig’s house. Craig opened the door and let the other boy in. “My parents aren’t home and Tricia’s at some friend’s house.”

 

“Gah! Does that mean... we’re alone?” Tweek panicked.

 

“Don’t worry. No one’s gonna rob me.” Craig smiled and lightly punched his arm, “Because you’re here with me.”

 

“Craig...” Tweek said smiling, his heart skipping a beat. He lifted his right hand over his heart one again, one again reliving the feeling...

 

_The feeling that someone you like has on you._

 

The two of them went upstairs into Craig’s bedroom. After the two had gotten back together, Craig started to clean his bedroom more often once again. Stripe’s cage had been moved to the basement, but there was a smaller cage in his room for the fuzzy guinea pig.

 

Craig closed the bedroom door behind him as Tweek practically ran over to see Stripe. “Hey little guy,” he said, scratching Stripe’s head with the curves of his index finger.

 

“Sometimes I think you come over to see Stripe and not me,” Craig joking said, doing a really good job hiding his pout.

 

“I just missed the fella,” Tweek lifted his hand out of the cage, “You practically had him the whole time during our fight.”

 

The fight, something both of the boys didn’t like talking about. It had been on both of their minds, because truth be told, they both wanted to apologize to each other, but they didn’t know how to. Craig’s smile turned back into a frown. He turned around to hide his face from his boyfriend as he sat on his bedside, “Listen, Tweek?”

 

Tweek looked at Craig with confusion, “Did I do something wrong Craig?” He was still jittering from his numerous amounts of black coffee.

 

“Can I ask you something... personal?” Craig turned to face his boyfriend.

 

“W-what is it, Craig?” Tweek asked.

 

Craig was about to speak, but both of their phones vibrated. The new kid had texted them.

 

“Damn it, we have a battle to go to.” Craig said out loud.

 

“He’s battling Morgan Freeman?” Tweek read the text, “We should go...”

 

* * *

 

_The new kid is a fucking douche bag,_ Craig angrily thought.

 

The battle with Morgan Freeman took over an hour. None of them had passed out, which he wasn’t complaining about, but the whole battle itself was confusing.

 

First, Morgan Freeman somehow summoned another version of himself, but younger? And then the new kid summoned his younger self as well. Then everyone got farted on- maybe the bodily gases were getting to his head. Hopefully, Tweek was in the mood for what Craig wanted to do that night.

 

After the battle, Craig saw that it was fifteen until sunset. Dragging Tweek along, he waved good bye to the new kid and Call Girl. Craig did his best to distract Tweek and to do his best to avoid what he brought up earlier.

 

The two boys finally made it to where Craig wanted to take Tweek: Stark’s Pond. Stark’s Pond would always be a monumental place for the children of South Park. The Stick of Truth was thrown into the Pond’s waters. The new kid met Semen (Seaman) there and helped the little gay fish transport his mother into heaven. And now, another monumental feet.

 

“Hey Tweek, remember what happened earlier.”

 

Tweek looked at Craig with eyes of wonder. It weirded out Tweek to see Craig with something this detrimental on his mind. Out of all the experiences he had with Craig so far, the only few times he made that face were during battles or...

 

_Something bad is going to happen._

 

Craig found the bench and sat down. He signaled the remaining space to Tweek, who sat at the other side.

 

“Tweek, I wanted to share something personal with you.”

 

At that moment, a million and a half ideas flowed through Tweek’s head. Some ideas were simple, like a break up, others were complex and highly unlikely, like aliens or underpants gnomes.

 

_On second thought, maybe it will involve aliens or underpants gnomes._

 

“Craig, what is it?” Tweek asked. “Gah!”

 

“Tweek... I... I...”

 

The sun started to set. By the way they were sitting, the sun seemed to be submerging itself into the pond. The reflection of the sun rays on the water turned the water to a glowing brown. The spring leaves of the trees were bright and green, but browning as well. The horizon started to reveal a bright orange as the sun was lowering itself.

 

“Tweek, I think I like you,” Craig finally said, gripping his heart area on his chest with his hand. “I think I like like you.”

 

“Was that what it was all about?” Tweek smiled, “Because I like like you too.”

 

The two of them heard the bushes shaking, and they both turned their heads to the walk way.

 

The new kid stood at the trail, holding a small basket.

 

“Damn it, Douchebag!” Craig angrily yelled at the kid, “You’ve ruined the moment!”

 

The new kid walked over to them, and stood behind the two behind the bench. They placed the basket in the middle, and turned around; they walked away and back to the school.

 

Craig and Tweeked looked at each other, wondering what they should do with the basket. Craig reached with his left and lifted one side of the basket.

 

Inside were two roses, and a hand written card. The card itself was properly hand written in a very nice cursive:

  

> _Take your time, share the moment._
> 
> _For it is a sign, to share your commitments._
> 
> _Without further delay, see the sun set._
> 
> _Tell each other what to say, you’ll be surprised to what you’ll get._
> 
> _-Douchebag_

 

 

Craig finished reading the card and pulled out the two roses. He handed one to Tweek, and he accepted it.

 

Tweek sniffed the rose, and smiled. “That new kid sure had a way with words.”

 

Craig looked at Tweek, and saw something he had never seen before. Tweek wasn’t jittering.

 

He hadn’t noticed that he had been staring awkwardly at him. “Craig?”

 

“Oh, sorry.” He blushed.

 

“Craig, I wanted to tell you something... personal... too.” Tweek sniffed the rose once more and looked at the sunset.

 

He then looked back at Craig, tears in his eyes.

 

“I love you... Craig.”

 

Craig’s face was immediately flushed with red, as something took the best of him. He smiled, and flustered, “Tsh- I was gonna say that!”

 

For the first time ever, Tweek witnessed Craig being a spaz for the first time. Well, maybe not a spaz. Craig was nervous and extremely uncomfortable for something.

 

It really reminded him of himself.

 

Tweek was in full smiles and happiness as he took Craig’s right hand with his left. The gesture completely stopped Craig and reminded him of where they were now.

 

“And I love you too.” Craig smiles were one of the very few things in the world Tweek wouldn’t see often. The guy was very monotonic and stubborn, so it was considered rare to ever see Craig not angry or monotone.

 

“Does this mean... we’re boyfriend and boyfriend?” Craig asked.

 

“I thought we were already boyfriend and boyfriend,” Tweek asked. “Oh god, what are we now?”

 

As Craig and Tweek were contemplating at the park bench, the new kid was hidden behind a bush watching over them. There was a smile on that kid’s face; their costume had really hidden them in the bush so it wouldn’t be easy to spot him.

 

“Hey new kid.”

 

The new kid turned to find Wendy Testaburger behind him.

 

“I... wanted to ask you something.” She then noticed how they were behind a bush. “Who’s over there?”

 

The new kid moved and made space for Wendy to observe. Hidden, she saw Tweek and Craig talking about the future of their relationship.

 

“Are you stalking them?” Wendy asked, “I didn’t know you see Tweek and Craig that way.”

 

The new kid pulled his phone out and texted Wendy his response. The best thing to do in these situations was to come clean.

 

Wendy’s phone lightly vibrated. She pulled it out and read the response.

  

> “I simply helped them get back together. That’s all.”
> 
>  

Wendy looked to her right and saw the new kid smile at her. Her phone vibrated again, and she looked:

 

> “After all, we LGBTQ+ kids got to stick together.”

 

Wendy smiled at the comment, and read the new line that just went in.

 

> “Isn’t that right? Wendy? Whatever pronouns your gender fluid and poly/pansexual self identifies as?”

 

“You read my character sheet,” Wendy acknowledged. “I was wondering when someone will notice.”

 

The new kid smiled, and signaled her back to Craig and Tweek. Wendy looked over and saw that the two had stopped talking, and were now holding hands, watching the sun set in the distance.

 

Wendy had seen the sunset several times in her life, but something about this sunset in particular was different. She could see Tweek leaning in on Craig’s shoulder, and how Craig’s head tilts ever so slightly so it could rest east on Tweek’s frizzy blonde hair. Her phone vibrated again.

 

> “Tweek and Craig are beautiful together, you know? You can tell how much they love each other because they both are so... opposite?”

 

> “Craig displays masculinity and bravery. Although he is stereotyped to show dominance and confidence, Craig struggles to show emotions and affection.”

 

> “Tweek, on the other hand, displays femininity and anxiety. Even though he seems to be the smaller one, he’s actually heavier than Craig. We just think that he’s the weaker and tinier one thanks to social stereotypes.”

 

> “Tweek lacks muscle and willpower, but he makes up for it by his ‘rainbow’ of emotions.”

 

Wendy read the texts and realized how right the new kid was. The two were opposites of each other, but they both have similarities and can help each other grow to become better.

 

> “That’s why I’m determined to get them together.”

 

Wendy smiled at the last text, “I’m proud of you, new kid.” She could see the two boys looking at each other’s eyes before engaging in their first direct kiss. “You made something beautiful today.”

 

Her phone vibrated again:

 

> “And you’re the only other person who knew, and helped.”

 

Wendy looked at the new kid, who smiled back at her. “Want to get some coffee sometime?” She asked.

 

“We can hear you! You know that!” The two kids in the bushes looked up to see a red (from blushing) and angry Craig and a red Tweek standing behind him.

 

The new kid took Wendy’s arm and immediately dragged her out of Stark’s pond just in time.

 

* * *

 

The next day at school, the new kid walked up to Wendy, who was talking with Bebe.

 

“Oh, hey new kid.” Bebe called out.

 

“Hey new kid.” Wendy closed her locker, “Sorry Bebe, I have something to do with the new kid right now. I’ll text you?”

 

“Sparkles!” Bebe turned around and waved before leaving.

 

“Sunshine!” Wendy called out, closing the zippers on her backpack. “Ready to go?”

 

The two of them made it down several halls before getting to Kyle’s locker. Luckily, the red head was standing there with Stan.

 

“Hey, Stan, Kyle.” Wendy called out. She did a wave as well.

 

“Hey Wendy,” both of them said, “Hey new kid.”

 

“Stan,” Wendy placed her hand on his shoulder, “Can I talk to Kyle for five minutes, it’s important.”

 

“Sure, Wendy.” Stan grabbed his things and waved to the group before exiting school.

 

“What do you guys want?” Kyle asked.

 

The new kid pulled his phone out and opened it to the Human Kite’s character sheet. He aimed his phone at Kyle.

 

Kyle’s eyes opened wide. He turned around and closed his locker. Kyle muttered a small curse at the two before lowering his field of vision to the floor. That’s when he started walking away from the two.

 

“Kyle! Wait!” Wendy and the new kid pursuit the red head until they were outside of school. To their surprise, Kyle broke into a mild sprint, maneuvering himself to go around cars, pedestrians, and other obstacles.

 

The two were running after Kyle, doing to their best to keep up with him. “Kyle, Wait!” Wendy kept following him.

 

Kyle kept walking until he made a hard left and walked towards his house. But instead of closing the front door, he left it open, and even waited for the two kids to come in.

 

When Wendy and the new kid came in, Kyle closed the door behind them and directed them to his bedroom. When they were there, Kyle took his seat at the computer while the new kid and Wendy sat on his bed.

 

“I was wondering when someone would go through my stuff.” Kyle started, staring at the new kid. “It was you, huh.”

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“So what do you guys think?” Kyle asked. “What shaming are you guys gonna do?” He slapped his head with his left and leaned on his left arm on his desk.

 

“Kyle, the reason we came is because we were wondering if it was true.” Wendy pulled out the printed character sheet, “Are you really an asexual?”

 

Kyle remained silent.

 

The new kid got up and pulled out two sheets of paper. He walked over and displayed them nicely on the table for Kyle to see, without him having to move his head. Kyle’s eyes opened wide again, “Y-you’re both-“

 

“We both identify as gender-fluid,” Wendy continued, “We both use all he, she, they pronouns and we’re both not out to everyone yet.”

 

Kyle looked more, “Wendy, you’re a poly/Pan-sexual?”

 

Wendy nodded.

 

“And... new kid, you- you’re ace?”

 

The new kid nodded and watched Kyle started to tear.

 

“I... I’m not alone.” Kyle got off his desk and walked over to the kids in bed. “I’m not alone,” Kyle definitively said.

 

“So Kyle,” Wendy asked, “Are you an asexual as well? And what about being gender neutral?”

 

Kyle stood up and got his composure back together, “I know I’m an asexual, but I’m still questioning for gender neutral. After all, those character sheets are meant for the hero, not for us.”

 

The new kid texted something, and it appeared on both Wendy’s and Kyle’s phone. They made a small group chat between the three of them, with the first message being:

 

> “Kyle, do your friends wants some snacks?”

 

Oops, wrong message to read. Damn it mom.

 

> “Even if you act completely different as a super hero, you’re still them, and they’re still you.”

 

The two kids looked at the new kid, who still remained silent.

 

“Thanks new kid,” Kyle said.

 

“So want to join us?” Wendy asked.

 

“Join... what?”

 

“We wanted to talk to PC Principal about getting an LGBT center at school. This town has so many bigoted racists I wouldn’t be surprised that kids hide themselves for their own safety.”

 

In the beginning, the new kid was very silent on everything. He simply joined the band wagon and after a few days they suddenly become King and a time traveler.

 

Kyle was still very hesitant to Wendy’s and the new kid’s request. The very idea of doing anything LGBT in South Park definitely sounded like it would go bad. After all, most people in South Park didn’t go to college, or were very uneducated in really anything. They were essentially throwing a steak into a pack of wolves.

 

But looking at the pros, he supposed that the LGBT center would be easier to open thanks to P.C Principal. Plus, with Wendy and her background experience with the sports teams and the debate team, he knew they could count on her for running the club smoothly. Also, who would join their club? Surely Tweek and Craig would be in it. Who else in their group of friends would join? Kids? Strangers? Who else would want to out themselves?

 

Kyle didn’t even realize that he was thinking to himself until the new kid tapped his shoulder. The new kid, typing on his phone with his left, squeezed Kyle’s left shoulder with his right hand. They also gave a smile- a smile that shined confidence and positivity.

 

“Kyle, making this club will definitely benefit South Park. I know you’re worried about the negative feedback, and I know you’re afraid of the discrimination to come, but honestly, that’s basically everyday for the new kid.”

 

Kyle’s eyes widened at that.

 

“The new kid faces discrimination on a daily basis! Their parents apparently drugged my food since birth. Their dad doesn’t want them to tell anyone about their identity. Kyle, they basically walk out to war everyday they get out of their bed.”

 

Kyle looked at the new kid, who was still in front of him. Their left hand was still typing something and their right hand was still on his shoulder. But something was odd about the new kid to Kyle. The new kid had a large bang that completely covered their left eye. Their pale- almost white skin (because they’re chinese) seemed almost white because of the lighting in his room. He didn’t know why, but what was this kid doing?

 

And that’s when he realized it. The new kid wants to change South Park. They want to change South Park for the better.

 

“N-new kid,” Kyle stuttered, “You want to change South Park, don’t you?”

 

“Think about it Kyle!” Wendy blurted out, “America still hates South Park for Mr. Garrison. Jimmy Fallon still thinks we’re bumpkins! Even Mark Zuckerberg thinks our town sucks!”

 

“Mark Zuckerberg is a dick and he only said our town has no style,” Kyle interrupted her. 

 

“Kyle!” Wendy yelled back, “We need to change South Park before we become outcasts!!!”

 

The three of them fell silent. The new kid let go of Kyle and stood beside Wendy, looking at Kyle. Kyle was now standing and leaning on his dresser beside the door.

 

There was a silence of five minutes before Kyle spoke.

 

“Fine.”

 

Wendy and the new kid looked at each other. “Really?” Wendy asked.

 

“Yes. I’ll help you two with it.” Kyle rubbed his temples, “Now I have to come oh as asexual.”

 

He felt another grip on his shoulder. Kyle opened his eyes and saw the new kid was holding him.

 

“We have to come out too, you know.” Wendy sent him a wink, causing Kyle to smile back.

 

* * *

 

Tweek and Craig were very surprised to see Wendy and the new kid at Tweek Bros coffee.

 

After another day of school, Tweek had brought Craig to his family’s coffee shop. After his parents requested him to make a new “dawn” blend, he asked Craig to help him.

 

“You know that I don’t like coffee right?” Craig asked as he took a seat at a chair in the back room.

 

“But Craig! I need you!” Tweek dug around and found his already made bag of experimental beans for a new dawn blend. “I need someone to help taste this mixture.”

 

“Then why me Tweek?” Craig wondered, “shouldn’t you find a coffee expert like the goth kids?”

 

“I needed someone with a neutral mouth and not someone who drinks the darkest roast of black coffee.” Tweek grabbed a spoon and scooped one scoop of beans into the grinder. “Plus, you’re a lot cuter and kinder than the goth kids.”

 

Craig smiled, “Thanks Tweek.” Reclining on his seat, Craig watched his boyfriend go to work.

 

Tweek was very well educated and taught about how to brew coffee. After grinding them to some certain setting, Tweek took the grinder powder and funneled it into a small coffee filter. The coffee filter was a cone-shaped paper filter that would be placed on a cup that had a hole at the center of the bottom with the sides funneling into it.

 

He then placed the cup mechanism on top of a tray, which positioned the cup over a tray. Tweek slide a mug underneath the cup before pouring a small amount of water inside. Essentially, Tweek was doing the pour over method.

 

After the water had been flavored with the blend of coffee, Tweek brought it out and handed it to Craig. “Here. Try it.”

 

Craig blew on the hot coffee before taking his first sip. At first, the flavors of cocoa beans was prominent, and then the flavor bent to a bland, ‘earthy’ taste. Basically, it tasted like unsweetened dark chocolate and then into dirt.

 

“This is... I could taste chocolate and dirt.” Craig set the cup down. “What did you put in here anyways?”

 

“I don’t know!” Tweek showed Craig the various bags of blends, “Honestly I just mixed and match and do whatever.”

 

Craig set the cup of the gross blend onto the table, “Well, what else do you have?”

 

Within minutes, Tweek was able to create every other combination of roast meant to serve as their new sunset blend. They brought all the eleven new cups of roast to a small round table in the lobby, as they both thought the back room was too small for experimentation. And that’s when they saw the new kid and Wendy.

 

The new kid and Wendy took the only other available table- which was next to theirs- and set their school items down. They both took out their laptops and notebooks as they started to do their homework.

 

“Oh- hey Tweek. Hey Craig.” Wendy waved at the two kids. “So I was saying-“

 

Craig ignored everything else Wendy was explaining to the new kid. He didn’t know why the new kid and Wendy were suddenly at the coffee shop, and frankly he didn’t care. Taking the most recent cup of coffee labeled “test 4,” Craig took a small sip.

 

“This tastes better than number three.” Craig places the cup down. “I don’t like how flowery and spicy it is but I did like the cocoa in it.”

 

Tweek look out his clipboard and recorded Craig’s comments. “Anything else?”

 

Craig looked over at the new kid and Wendy. The two of them were looking at Wendy’s laptop, which was turned the other way. Wendy was showing the new kid something on there, explaining to them something he couldn’t distinguish through mouth talk.

 

The new kid looked over to Craig, who smiled. Wendy stopped explaining and turned to see what was distracting them. Once she realized that it was Craig staring at them, Wendy smiled and waved.

 

“Umm, Craig?” Tweek noticed how Craig was looking past him and was staring at Wendy and the new kid. “Anything else to add?”

 

Craig looked back at the new kid. “Sorry, I could of sworn they were talking about me.” He turned his focus on Tweek; this time he was focusing on the coffee. “The aftertaste is bad by the way.”

 

“Okay.” Tweek wrote on his clipboard and wrote more after he shook. “You- you ready for the next one?”

 

Craig did a tiny smile at Tweek and picked up cup number five. As he tipped the cup closer to his mouth, he peeked over to Wendy’s table. Wendy was holding up a fountain pen and signing a layered form sheet. The new kid was also holding their own pen and signing along with Wendy. The rim of the plastic cup touched Craig’s lips and hot coffee was slowly going into the small hole between his puckered lips. Craig slowly watched a small amount of coffee flow into his mouth before closing his mouth off. He then noticed how the new kid smiled at him again.

 

The new kid’s smile at Craig caught him off guard; he slammed the cup of coffee at the table, some of it splashing out. Craig was able to keep the bitter coffee in his mouth as he shot his head down. Swallowing that proved to be even more difficult as Tweek started to panic.

 

“Oh god! Craig is being killed by coffee!” Tweek dropped his clipboard on the table, “Jesus Christ- GAH- Craig don’t die!”

 

Craig finally swallowed the coffee and started to take deep breathes from almost choking. “I’m fine, Tweek.” Craig raises his head to see the new kid now focused on the form Wendy was filling out.

 

“Was that one really that bad?” Tweek asked. He offered a napkin to Craig as he used another to soak up the small amount of spilled coffee.

 

“No, not that.” Craig realized that he didn’t even taste the coffee because he was so thrown off key. “Butthole over there scared me.”

 

“Craig? Scared?” Tweek shook, “I never seen you so scared before Craig.”

 

“Don’t you remember? Jared the subway guy at the police station?” Craig picked up cup number five again, “I was scared to death he was gonna hit me with his sand-dick.” He took a sip of cup number five.

 

“Don’t you mean foot-long?” Tweek asked. He watched as Craig almost gag and slowly spit the coffee back into the cup.

 

“That’s gross Tweek!” Craig scolded, “And also this coffee tastes like dirt with a higher acidity.”

 

“Okay Craig.” Tweek recorded his response. “Do you wanna take a break and see what Wendy and the new kid are -GAH- doing?”

 

The two of them got off their chairs and walked over to where the new kid and Wendy were sitting.

 

“Hey guys,” Wendy greeted them, “What are you guys doing over there with twenty cups of coffee?”

 

“There’s only fourteen there Wendy,” Craig responded back with a stubborn voice. “What the fuck are you two doing anyways?”

 

“Craig,” Tweek patted his arm, “Don’t be so rude.”

 

“Should we ask them for help?” Wendy asked the new kid.

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“You sure?” Wendy asked.

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“Okay what the fuck are you two fuckers doing?” Craig asked.

 

“Well,” Wendy lifted the form, “The new kid and I are starting an LGBT+ club in our school.”

 

The new kid turned the laptop to reveal a rainbow with the school’s flag on a photoshop program.

 

“Well, what do you think?” Wendy asked.

 

“It’s umm.” Craig was really thrown off by this. “Why?”

 

“Yeah,” Tweek joined in, “That kind of seem... unnecessary.”

 

“Well, what if I were to tell you two,” Wendy leaned down, and the two boys standing up took the two other chairs at the table. Once they were both sitting, Wendy continued, “we need to raise LGBTQ awareness in our community.”

 

“But why?” Craig asked.

 

“Because too many people are bigoted and uninformed about so many things in the LGBTQ community.” The new kid slid Wendy the laptop, and she started typing and moving the mouse to a new safari tab. “Did you guys know that more than half of this town voted for Mr.Garrison and about eighty percent of them didn’t know he was gay?”

 

She rotated the computer to reveal a pie chart with all the information she had. “Also, don’t you guys remember having to fight against those red necks every time the new kid updated their character sheet?”

 

“I remember punching Tweek across the face,” Craig admitted.

 

Tweek was flustered, “They threw a punctured bottle of beer at your head and got you confused!”

 

“And that’s why I gave you my last taco.” Craig turned to Wendy, “I get what you mean now.”

 

“Super,” Wendy happily smiled, “So are you guys in?”

 

“In?” Tweek asked, shaking at the same time.

 

“We do need a Treasurer and a Sergeant of Arms.” Wendy took out two other forms and slid one form each to Craig and Tweek. “Turn them in as soon as you can before next Wednesday.”

 

Craig picked up the form and saw on the dotted line, Sergeant of Arms. “What’s the Sergeant of Arms?”

 

“SOA, for short,” Wendy turned her laptop and brought up a PowerPoint slide of what their roles are, “They keep order and not make the club flip out. That’s the easiest way of explaining it.”

 

“Then why am I the Treasurer?” Tweek asked, holding his form, “Is it because my parents own a coffee shop?”

 

“That and Tweek, you’re really good at not spending your money on useless stuff.” Wendy rotated the laptop back to it facing the new kid. “Any other questions?”

 

“Then who would be President and Vice President and Secretary?” Tweek asked.

 

“I’ll be President,” Wendy then gestured the new kid, “And the new kid will be Vice President.”

 

“Then who’s Secretary?” Craig asked.

 

“Kyle.”

 

* * *

 

It was several hours later after that conversation. Craig’s Mother had invited Tweek to stay with Craig for dinner, so that night there were five sitting at the Tucker dining table.

 

“Anything new today?” Craig’s Mother asked the two boys.

 

Craig finished chewing his food, balancing his fork between his index and thumb, “Tweek and I are joining a club.”

 

“A club?” Craig’s Father, Thomas, asked, “That sounds like a great idea.”

 

“What Club is it, Sweetie?” Craig’s Mother asked, “Is it a sports club?”

 

“No, Mrs.Tucker.” Tweek had just finished his bite and took a big sip of his water. After consuming the water, he replied, “We’re gonna be part of a new club that’s starting soon.”

 

“A new club? What kind of club is it?” Thomas asked.

 

“Is it a gay club?” Tricia, Craig’s sister, asked.

 

“Sweetie, you can’t call things gay like that,” Craig’s mother explained, “Some people will be offended and-“

 

“Sort of.”

 

The three remaining family members looked at Craig. Thomas had dropped his fork, landing on his plate with a large ringing sound. Tweek shook from the sound vibrations.

 

“Tweek and I are gonna join the new LGBT club,” Craig explained to his family. He grabbed Tweek’s open hand with his closest, “I’m going to be a SOA.”

 

That day, the two boys never realized how fast they could make Thomas faint.

 

* * *

 

“PC Principle,” Wendy stood confidently in front of his presence in front of his desk. “The five of us would like to start an LGBTQ club.”

 

In a V formation, they all stood in the order of Craig, Tweek, Wendy, the new kid, and Kyle. The time was approximately three in the afternoon, only a few minutes after school ended for the day.

 

“And may I ask why you five want to create a LGBTQ club in our school?” PC Principle asked. “What are your club’s objectives and what will your club do as educational activities?”

 

Craig was actually surprised to see PC Principal talking like a normal person. For once he didn’t say Bro, uninformed, or any PC language.

 

“As a LGBTQ club, we are focused to educate students, faculty, and possibly the town on LGBT culture, language, and ideologies.” Wendy handed PC Principal several sheets of paper, “We will also educate those who are interested in the history of LGBT rights, safe spaces, politically correct language, and-“

 

“Did you just say PC language bro?” PC Principal asked.

 

“Yes,” Wendy continued, “As the majority of the LGBT community is discriminated or marginalized on a daily basis, we thought it would be appropriate to teach those who are interested PC language so they don’t marginalize us slash the community.”

 

“Also,” Kyle cut in, “PC language is very important in the LGBT community because it acknowledges gender identity, sexual attraction, and other LGBT topics and cultures.”

 

Wendy continued talking, “And that’s why we decided that the LGBT club we’re creating will host weekly talks, so we can share stories, experiences, or advice to those who are interested. We are also going to host fundraisers to help raise money for the club.”

 

“And what do you guys want to spend the money on?” PC Principal asked.

 

“We were going to spend it on creating the LGBTQ center.” Kyle handed PC Principle a paper. “On there is how we’re planning to design the LGBT center, where students can hang out, see a psychologist or therapist, or study.”

 

PC Principle was overlooking the plans when there was a knock on the door. “PC Principal? It’s me, Strong Woman.”

 

“Come on in, Vice Principal Strong.” A white woman came into the room. “These five students want to start a LGBTQ club in our school.”

 

“Wow.” Strong Woman clapped, “Good for you kids. I assume you have a faculty member assisting you guys with being your advisor?”

 

“Actually,” Tweek commented, “We haven’t asked yet.”

 

The two principals were quiet.

 

Wendy jumped in, “We didn’t know which faculty member to ask because none of the faculty at this school identify with the LGBTQ community. Mr. Garrison became president remember?”

 

PC Principal pointed two fingers and firmly pressed the fingers onto his desk. “All faculty members are allies of the LGBT community.”

 

“PC Principal, sir,” Kyle jumped in, “Allies are good and all, but they aren’t in the acronym.”

 

“What?” Both principals asked.

 

“Well,” Kyle held a sheet of paper and pointed at the title, “In LGBTQIA+, the A means asexual or agender, not ally. In fact, ally would never be in the acronym.”

 

“PC Principal and Vice Principal Woman,” Wendy concluded, “We, as the small LGBT community that wants to create a center to help students and staff, simply feel a bit uncomfortable if our advisor isn’t associated with the LGBT acronym.”

 

“Then I’m sorry, children,” Strong Woman stated, “Unfortunately we’re going to have to deny your request of an LGBT club.”

 

The five students frowned.

 

“Vice Principal Strong Woman,” PC Principal called, “Can you hand them the school acknowledgement form 10-B?”

 

They watched as Strong Woman opened a file cabinet and pull out another form. As she was looking for it, PC Principal explained, “Until you guys get an advisor, we cannot approve of this club starting at this school.” Once she handed Wendy the paper, he explained, “Please fill out this form by the end of the week. The school acknowledges that you five are starting a club. I will fill out the rest on the bottom when you guys are finished.”

 

* * *

 

“That was a bust.” Craig took a sip of his drink and leaned back on his chair. “I told you guys we should of gotten for an advisor beforehand.”

 

“Craig,” Kyle informed him, “You knew we couldn’t get just any teacher.”

 

“Oh geez!” Tweek took a sip of coffee, “What do we do?”

 

The five members of the failed LGBT club were now at Tweek’s coffee shop once again. They all sat at a booth, now trying to get everything in order.

 

“Calm down everybody,” Wendy was observing the new kid type on the keyboard, “I had a plan B from the start. The new kid is working on it.”

 

“What’s plan B?” Craig asked.

 

“Plan B?” Tweek asked, “That sounds like too much pressure!”

 

“Plan B,” Wendy was now typing a short thing on the laptop before giving it to the new kid, “Plan B is we talk to the community.”

 

The new kid clicked on a few things and hit enter.

 

“Talk to the community?” Kyle asked.

 

“We find someone who can help us.” Wendy tapped a few numbers on her phone before hitting call. The three boys and the new kid watched Wendy go into professional formal mode on her phone.

 

“Hello, To whom am I speaking with?”

“Great, I’m Wendy Testaburger, and I was wondering if you can help me with our problem?”

“Unfortunately, the school won’t allow us to open our club due to the lack of an advisor.”

“No one was LGBT.”

“Great!” Everyone stared at Wendy.

“When will they arrive?” Kyle got out a sheet of paper and his pencil. “Thursday night? And what time?”

“6PM at Terminal 3? What gate? 57?” Kyle wrote everything down.

“Thank you so much for this. Have a wonderful day.” Wendy hung up. “I got us help.”

 

“Who are we picking up?” Kyle asked, “And how are we picking them up from Denver?”

 

“Denver?” Tweek asked, “That is way too far!”

 

Wendy punched in another set of numbers into her phone and hit call.

 

“Hello, mayor?” Everyone looked at her. “Yes, this is Wendy.” She stuck her tongue out and stood up, walking to another room to continue the conversation.

 

“What the hell is she doing?” Tweek asked in terror, “We can’t get the mayor involved!”

 

“Tweek, calm down.” Craig moved his hand and started to pat Tweek’s back. He gave mini strokes of scratches and squeezes on his spine, feeling the bony structure of Tweek. “The mayor isn’t going to do anything with a bunch of gay kids.”

 

“Umm, Craig.” Kyle pointed to himself and the new kid. “We’re not gay. Also, Wendy isn’t gay either.”

 

“Wait, really?” Craig’s expression changed to a confused face. “What are you guys then?”

 

“You didn’t see my character sheet?” Kyle asked

 

“No.” Craig moved both hands to Tweek’s shoulders, starting to rub the knotted areas. “Remember, you hid yours in your locked bedroom.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Kyle paused for a moment. He bit his lip and took a small breath as to not draw attention. He opened his mouth, and nothing came out.

 

“Umm, Kyle?” Craig asked.

 

The new kid went behind Kyle and patted his back. When Kyle turned around, the new kid only smiled at the red head.

 

“I’m an asexual.” Kyle admitted confidently. “I’m ace.”

 

Tweek smiled at Kyle’s coming out, but also let out a small moan from Craig massaging him.

 

“Ummm... Tweek.” Craig stopped massaging his shoulders, “Did you just moan?”

 

“You...” Tweek was feeling some deep emotions connected to a happy state in his self conscious. “You give out some amazing massages Craig.”

 

Craig smiles, and continued massaging his boyfriend. Meanwhile, Wendy came back with her phone in hand. Wendy had the smuggest smile on her face. Her face seemed to stretch with her mouth widened.

 

“What did you do?” Craig asked.

 

“I got the mayor to help us.” Wendy sat down at the booth and drank her latte. The other four only watched as Wendy started to maniacally chuckle.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, at approximately nine am, the ground of South Park moved.

 

As all of the children were in school, the school announced a drill and everyone was moved to the gym. Within minutes of the tremors, PC Principal and Vice Principal Strong Woman successfully moved everyone to the gym.

 

“What’s going on?” A student shouted, covering their head with their arms.

 

“Earthquake!” Another student shouted, bracing themselves.

 

All the students were panicking as Colorado is not earthquake territory. And also, earthquakes should not last over fifteen minutes.

 

Some students went to even say that the tremors were caused by Crab People; or by Global Warming. Some even called out Bill Clinton or Mr.Garrison for the tremors.

 

After all the students panicked for thirty minutes, the tremors stopped. Everything that was shaking stopped shaking- except Tweek. Every person and object was capable of standing without tripping over.

 

“Students,” PC Principal announced, “I’m please to announce that the tremors that just took place were all caused by people. Not the Earth.”

 

Everyone looked over to the front of the gym and saw that standing next to PC Principal and VP Strong Woman was a man in a hard hat and construction clothes.

 

“Wendy Testaburger. Please come here.” PC Principal handed Wendy the microphone once she arrived. “Students and Faculty. The ground tremors were not global warming, nor crab people, nor were they from the president.”

 

She nodded to Kyle, who signaled the new kid, Craig, and Tweek, to come forward.

 

“The tremors were from the start of a new organization here in South Park; they’re located behind the community center. The tremors were by a construction company for a new LBGT Center here in the town!”

 

Every student was chattering to themselves or their peers about the announcement. The new kid, Kyle, Craig, and Tweek all stood behind Wendy.

 

“A few days ago, I wanted to start a club for LGBTQ students and faculty. But unfortunately, none of the staff here suited the conditions for such a club. That’s why I contacted the LGBT community and the mayor to bring about the new center!” She handed the microphone to PC Principal.

 

“Thank you Wendy. The LGBT center is not affiliated with the school as a club, but we will host regular activities there. The grand opening will be tomorrow, so please come to the grand opening after school.”

 

After that, the students were ordered to return to their classrooms and to continue their regular school schedules. Meanwhile, in the hallway, Stan was talking to Kenny and Cartman.

 

“Oh my god, that was so gay.” Eric rubbed his temples.

 

“Eric, you can call that gay anymore.” Stan told him.

 

“Why not?” He shot back.

 

“Hmmhmph hmph Hmlh hmph hmph hmph.” (Because gay doesn’t mean stupid anymore) . Kenny told him.

 

“Tsh, yeah right.” Eric rolled his eyes. “Like you know anything about a gay club.”

 

“Cartman,” Stan told him, “LGBT means gay plus others club.”

 

“Wait- really?” Eric asked. The two nodded back at him. Eric smiled, “I KNEW THAT JEW WAS GAY!”

 

As Eric kept ranting about how all the guys owed him money because they lost the bet that Kyle was gay, Stan and Kenny were quiet and shocked. Their expressions were blank. Their mouths were open enough for flies to fly in. They continuously watched Eric rant as Kyle was standing a few feet away from them.

 

“You guys owe me twenty fucking dollars for this shit!” Eric stuck his hand out, expecting Stan and Kenny to pay up.

 

“Fatass. What are you doing?”

 

Eric turned around with a smug face. “Well well well. Well if it isn’t my favorite gay Jew.”

 

“Cartman. Who the fuck are you talking about?” Kyle walked past him and faced Stan. “Are we still up for after school today?”

 

“Yeah.” Stan’s shocked face turned to a smile, “Sure dude.”

 

The three of them walked off, leaving Eric alone. “Fine!” He shouted, “Go suck each other’s dicks you fags!”

 

“Dude.”

 

Eric turned around and saw Craig and Tweek. “Not cool.” Craig grip Tweek’s hand as they shuffled past him.

 

* * *

 

The five kids were now standing in front of the brand new LGBT center. The building was a 3,000 square foot interior with only one floor. The parking lot was small with only three spaces plus one handicapped. The exterior mimicked the community center behind it and the police center in front of it; the outside was built and lined with bricks. The front itself had white Victorian pillars supporting the front awning. There were also a set of double doors and a red ribbon tired to two columns.

 

“We should of down a ceremony for this.” Wendy commented.

 

“Neh-“ Tweek squeaked, “It’s too late. Too much pressure.”

 

The new kid walked forward and stood in front of the ribbon.

 

“What’s taking so long?” Craig said, following theothers behind the new kid. “Cut the damn ribbon already. It’s cold out here.”

 

“Wait.” Kyle handed the new kid a pair of scissors.

 

The new kid smiled at the four kids as they cut the ribbon. He the took his phone out and took a selfie with the group.

 

* * *

 

 

Bonus Scene- Basically I didn't know when to include this but here you go-

 

* * *

 

Through the double doors were another set of double doors. Through those doors lead to the first main room- the lobby. The lobby was the size of half of the school gym. The receptionist desk was elevated and spherical to the left of the entrance. To the right of the entrance were three gender inclusive restrooms.

 

The lobby itself consisted of several couches and comfortable sofas shaped in a giant U facing away from the receptionist desk. In front of the U were two televisions, and a stand with a cable box and DVD player. The entrance being located at the bottom right of the U, there were two other hallways. One hallway was at the top left of the U, and one on the top right. Every other wall had big windows.

 

The top right hallway led to the offices and a meeting room. The other hallway led to the outside parking lot, and to the kitchen and storage room.

 

As the five kids were looking around, a large woman walked into the building. Wendy was the first to greet them.

 

“Hello,” Wendy said, “My name is Wendy Teataburger. I go by all pronouns and thank you for helping us with this place.”

 

The lady wore a white coat, blue jeans, and a white blouse underneath. She had blonde hair, but one side completely shaved off. She also had a bun at the back as well as a bang in the front.

 

“My name is Megan. She her hers, they them pronouns. And I was the one who funded your center.” She extended her hand, and Wendy shook it. “Make me proud Wendy and don’t flop the center.”

 

Wendy saluted and waved good bye as their club sponsor left. “Gentlemen,” Wendy praised, “And non-binary folk.” The new kid smiled, “We have the LGBTQ Center!”

 

 

 


	2. DEY DERK DUR DERBS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several members of South Park are very furious about the opening of the LGBT Center. Using their first amendment right to protest, the center has no choice but to deal with them until they have a compromise. Meanwhile, Bridon Gueermo is having an identity crisis of everyone calling him gay, and Tweek is having a hard time overcoming his coffee addiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to add that yes this is supposed to be like a narrative sort of episode-esque writing but occasionally I need to put in filler that sort of ties it back to current events/reactions to current events. After all, the creators of South Park write their episodes based on reactions, which is something really really interesting. But anyways, thanks for reading, and enjoy.
> 
> -Negira

After the LGBTQ Center opened for one week, there was havoc everywhere outside.

 

The older redneck folk of the town- including those who are unemployed- were still rioting and protesting outside of the center. They were all standing on the street and the sidewalk; waving signs and propaganda that expressed negative emotions and sayings.

 

“Get out of our town!” A man yelled.

 

“You took our jobs!” Another man yelled.

 

“DEY DERK DUR DERBS!” Daryl screamed. Everyone cheered after him.

 

* * *

 

Tweek woke up at his bed at precisely 4:23 am. He had no alarms or phone notifying him of anything, yet he was able to simply conjure up at this time. He sat up, grabbing his phone and checking his screen.

 

No notifications.

 

Tweek looked around at his room, observing the same dark room called his bedroom. There was less and less stuff on the floor thankfully, but there was still a pile of legos and other stuff put off to the side. The window showing out over his bed has the view of his neighbor’s house- whoever it was. The other window, the one abovehis desk facing Stan’s house across the intersection, showed that the crescent moon was still in motion in the sky.

 

Tweek opened up the notes app and started a new note. He wrote:

 

 

> Day 34. Today is day thirty-four of my cold turkey away from my parents’ meth-infused Coffee. I’m still thankful for Craig for helping me through my addiction, and for the New Kid for revealing to me this dark truth.

 

 

> Today is also day 8 of the opening of the LGBTQ Center- making it officially one week since we’ve opened to the public. It had been busy lately, but I’m very thankful for this club as well. I get to help others, as well as distract myself from the devil’s coffee.

 

Tweek covered himself back in his blankets and continued typing on his phone.

 

 

> Since the day I’ve quitted, I feel like I’ve been more calm. Reading over what I’ve written thirty days ago, I sound like a completely different person. Now, I’ve become patient and confident, but at the same time- I’ve developed more fears than before.

 

* * *

 

Wendy, who was sitting at a desk with Bebe and Red, was tired of the men protesting. The men were protesting so loudly outside, she could hear bottles breaking, profanity, and signs slamming against each other every other minute.

 

She was glad that she called a lawyer within the first day of the protest, because several dozen men had caused damages to the brand new windows and walls. After bringing the seven men to court, the LGBT center received over hundreds of thousands of dollars for repairing and funding.

 

But she was not glad at how loud the men are. “Girls,” she slammed her two hands on the desk, “How do you get rid of angry annoying guys?”

 

Bebe stopped applying make up to her face using a mirror. Looking over at Wendy, she winked. “You get a guy to calm them down.”

 

Wendy smiled for the first time that week. Using her left hand, she pressed a special button on her desk’s call button. “New kid, can you come in here please?” She let go.

 

“Why do you still call them the new kid, Wendy?” Red asked. She was on her phone. “Don’t they have a name?”

 

“No one knows.” Wendy shrugged her shoulders, “They don’t speak. At all.” Using her left once again, she pressed a button left to the first. “Kyle? Can you come in here please?”

 

As soon as she let go, the new kid walked in.

 

“Hey New kid. Listen. I need your help with something.” Bebe rolled her eyes as she brought out her nail filer. “You know the angry men protesting outside? Can you please do something about them?”

 

The new kid nodded and walked out. Then Kyle walked in.

 

“Hey Kyle, we have our first assignment this week.” Wendy brought out a file from behind her and dropped it on the table. The file was a Manila folder showing a picture of a brunette third grader wearing a blue jacket.

 

“Bridon Gueermo?” Kyle walked up to the folder beside Bebe and Red and opened it up. The first page consisted of a form that had been filled out completely. A photo of Bridon was inside. “The basketball-musical Guy?”

 

“Ooo the cute guy!” Bebe stood up and looked over at the file. “He’s captain of the boys basketball team.”

 

“Isn’t he gay?” Red asked.

 

“He isn’t.” Wendy sat down at her desk and rotated her iMac monitor to where everyone can see. “He wants us to help him prove to the world that he’s completely straight.”

 

“Straight?” Kyle looked at the files. Inside the folder were sheets and papers of test results and other documents.

 

“Inside the folder are fifteen different personality tests and LGBT tests so we can see where he would range on his sexuality scale.” On the monitor, she pulled up a single graph with a scatter plot. The graph showed a negative correlation. “And he checks out. He’s eighty-nine percent straight.”

 

Kyle also pulled out one specific paper. “He is straight.” On the paper was a graph and a bunch of emojis. “Heidi’s emoji analysis checks him out as a cis-straight male.”

 

“So why is this important?” Red asked. “Why did you invite me and Bebe here?”

 

“Well,” Wendy’s voice went a pitch higher. “You’re here anyways, because-“ she popped her mouth, “- And Bebe... yeah I have no excuse. Bebe I need your help.”

 

“With what?” Bebe asked.

 

“We need you to date Bridon Gueermo.”

 

“Ewww!” Bebe wailed her arms in protest. “Gross!”

 

“Wait, Wendy-“ Red cut her off, “Bebe is already going out with Clyde. That makes her look like a skank.”

 

“Shit.” Wendy rubbed her head, “I didn’t think about that.”

 

“I have an idea...”

 

The three girls looked at Kyle. Kyle continued, “Look. Bridon is the lead actor in the next play. Why don’t we straighten him up even more there?”

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Craig and the new kid stood outside of the LGBT Center with a mega phone. In front of them stood over thirty men wearing flannel, rugged and baggy jeans, and pleather shoes.

 

“DEY DOOK DER DERBS!” Darryl screamed again. The crowd angrily rioted, agreeing with the red head.

 

“They took our community and turned it to trash!” Another man screamed. This time, the men shouted louder. Some even threw empty bottles of beer at the two kids.

 

Craig ducked as one bottle flew over his head. Using the megaphone, he spoke, “Can you guys please stop protesting please? You guys are really loud and annoying.”

 

A man from the crowd shouted, “Until you take this shitty place down, we will always be here!” The men agreed.

 

“But how do you keep your jobs here if you’re here all the time?” Craig asked.

 

A second man shouted, “We don’t have jobs! Because you took them!” The men agreed and shouted once again.

 

“Guys. You can’t exactly get a job yelling and protesting us.” Craig told them, “And how do you even lose your job when you never got the job in the first place.

 

The men were silent at first, but Darryl shouted, “DEY DERK DUR DERBS!” causing the men to shout in protest once again.

 

“God damn it.” Craig and the new kid went back inside the center, leaving the men on the street shouting.

 

Inside, Tweek was sitting on the couch on his laptop. “Did you get them to go?”

 

“No.” Craig practically body slammed the couch next to Tweek. “They’re so fucking stupid.”

 

“Craig,” Tweek turned his attention to Craig, and started patting his arm. “They don’t have a college education. Let them be afraid of change”

 

“Tweek. We don’t have a college education.” Craig sat up straight, but watched as Tweek grab the megaphone. “Let me try something.”

 

Craig watched as Tweek exit the doors. He and the new kid looked at each other, and heard no more shouting.

 

Tweek came back in s few minutes later, and sat on the couch.

 

“What did you do?” Craig asked the blonde.

 

“I told them the LGBT Center owns a lot of property and that they can’t protest on the streets. Now, they’re across the street protesting the police.”

 

Wendy and Kyle emerged from the office. “Are they gone?” Wendy asked.

 

“No. They’re across the street.” Craig told them.

 

“Whatever.” Kyle grabbed Wendy’s hand. “We need to go. Now.”

 

“New kid!” Wendy shouted as Kyle dragged the both of them to the door, “You’re in charge!” The two kids left the building, leaving Craig, Tweek, and the New kid alone.

 

“So what are you doing this weekend?” Tweek asked the new kid.

 

Silence.

 

* * *

 

Stan was waiting outside the school theater classroom. He still had has backpack on him; he had’t started the latest homework assignments his teacher assigned him either.

 

Today was another weird day for him. Wendy, the girl he was in love and not in love with, and Kyle, his super best friend, invited him to the school play. The idea of the three of them hanging out wasn’t the most difficult idea, but the fact that both of them sent individual invitations was.

 

 

> “Hey Stan,” Wendy called earlier, “Want to join me at the school play today?”

 

 

> “Hey Stan,” Kyle texted, “Can you come with me to the play for a thing?”

 

Stan was more bewildered because both of them contacted him within a two second span.

 

“Sure?” He told the both. They both then contacted Stan the times- which is where he was now.

 

Down the hallway, Stan could see both Kyle and Wendy strutting down together. Kyle had his backpack, as well as a Manila folder. Wendy was holding her own clip board along with a messenger bag.

 

“Hey Stan.” Wendy greeted Stan and handed him the chip board. “Hold this, I need to the my shoes.”

 

“Oh, okay-“

 

“And Stan, next time,” Kyle held his phone up, “Don’t try to set up individual hangouts when more than one friend wants to go somewhere.”

 

“Yes Kyle,” Stan rolled his eyes as Wendy got back up. Handing her back the clipboard, the three of them went inside the school theater.

 

The school theater itself was essentially the gym with a fake stage and the bleachers. The theater department was one of the underfunded programs at the school because so many of the original and more spontaneous theater kids had already left in pursuit of sports. Inside the theater room itself was mainly a storage place for props, space to put the collapsible stage away, and a bookshelf to store scripts and other papers.

 

The three of them took seats closest to the back end of the crowd in the middle. They sat in the order of Stan on the left, Kyle, and then Wendy on the right.

 

Stan was reading the pamphlet and asked, “What’s so special about... Hamlet?”

 

“Hamlet is that one play where they go ‘to be or not to be.” Kyle replied. His attention was still on the forms, “But today, we’re after Bridon Guerrmo.”

 

“Bridon?” Stan asked, “You mean the theater kid?”

 

“Yes Stan.” Wendy took one of Kyle’s papers and read the chart on there. “We need to see how people see him.”

 

“Isn’t he gay?” Stan asked. The lights dimmed and a single spot light shined the stage.

 

“According to the tests, he isn’t gay.” Kyle closed the file by folding the folder over the front page. “But we need to see it ourselves.”

 

A teacher had stepped onto the stage and introduced himself. As they were talking, Wendy was reading the brochure. “Kyle, look.” She pointed the casting sheet. “Bridon is playing the lead- Hamlet.”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Kyle asked.

 

“Remember what happens in Hamlet? He hates his mother’s sexuality.”

 

“Wendy,” Kyle abruptly stopped her, “She’s clearly a whore.”

 

“What? No.” Wendy said, shocked. The three of them looked on stage to see a watchman on the street. “We’ll talk this later.”

 

The three of them continued to watch the play in silence. Stan had never read Hamlet, so everything going on was a first for him. As for Kyle and Wendy, this was their first play of it, but had both read the play previously on their spare time.

 

When Hamlet came into the play, Bridon entered wearing his prince outfit. He had glitter, sequins, and every other spectacle to make him stand out.

 

“He looks like a pimp.” Stan admitted.

 

As Bridon was about to say his next line, someone in the audience yelled out, “Gay!”

 

Both Wendy and Kyle bent back up. The voice that said it was already full of pubescence. It sounded childish but deep as an adult. “Even your mom’s glitter is better than yours!”

 

It was the leader of the sixth graders. Bridon remained on stage, shook about the off comments. Not knowing what to do, he continued the play. He recited his lines, and took in the harsh criticism he kept hearing from the audience.

 

“Gay!” “Twink!” “Fag!”

 

The offensive slurs kept rolling in as Bridon was on stage.

 

“I can’t watch this happen even longer.” Wendy reported to the two boys. She stood up and started running to the stairway down.

 

“I can’t either.” Stan got up as well. “We need to do something about this.”

 

“Not us.” The two kids looked at Kyle, who stood up. “We need heroes.”

 

* * *

 

Tweek has gathered a giant pillow and a small blanket that was big enough to cover him. He fluffed the pillow and placed it on the sofa cushion. Laying down, he was able to cover himself snuggly with the blanket.

 

Craig walked into the lobby and saw the blonde preparing for his daily nap.

 

“Ready to sleep honey?” Craig asked, walking over to where Tweek was. The new kid, from where they were standing in the lobby, continued to do whatever they were doing, eavesdropping.

 

“TSH- Craig!” Tweek waved his left arm in the air. “Get away- I’m trying to sleep.”

 

“Why can’t I sit here with you?” Craig asked, simply plotting down the seat next to the pillow, opposite of Tweek.

 

“Y-You’re distracting,” Tweek admitted, “Plus you smell like Shitty Chicken.”

 

“For your information,” Craig leaned in and laid one quick peck of the lips on Tweek’s cheek. “It’s City Pork.”

 

“Gross!” Tweek wiped his face with his sleeve, “You know how much I hate the City Pork!”

 

Craig smiled, “But it wasn’t coffee.”

 

Tweek looked at Craig with a face full of pent-up rage. Usually, Craig wasn’t the best at using words. Sure, he was able to use advanced vocabulary terms and was pretty fast at mental math, but he was very... blunt for comfort words. Craig was one of those people that really had trouble expressing their emotions. It was one of the so-called defects an introvert would have. Plus, Craig was very direct with his opinions as well.

 

But ever since Craig joined in on helping him overcome his possible (it was already 100% at this point) meth-Coffee addiction, he had excelled Tweek’s expectations by a long shot. Every day Craig would supply him water and food, distract him from his episodes and withdrawals, and he would always be there for him. Tweek expected Craig to not bring him coffee and maybe help him sleep sometimes, but really, he was basically his mother, his psychologist, and a rehabilitation counselor.

 

Tweek let out a warm smile, capable of filling the hearts of many. _That’s it. That’s the real Craig._ “Thanks Craig. Thank you.”

 

Craig smiles back and slowly reached his hand out, brining it into the brush of Tweek’s golden lion’s mane. His fingertips started tracing the outlines of his head top, following the path of skin not traced by the yellow hairs. In a motion, Craig applied pressure bit by bit until he heard the sweet sounds of Tweek lightly snoring.

 

Craig watched as the blonde slowly envelop into a sleep state. He was always careful of the slightest things and the slightest sounds waking him up. Lately, due to the heavy protestors out in the front, Tweek had not been able to sleep. As Craig stretched his arms and legs, not scratching Tweek’s head anymore, he yawned. It wasn’t uncommon for him to yawn in public, but after putting Tweek to sleep (literally sleep not death- he hoped) he grew weary too.

 

Craig laid on his side, laying his head in the remaining space of the pillow next to Tweek. His face was facing Tweek’s exposed face, able to pick up the small details that Craig simply adored on the golden boy. But those features didn’t stick soon enough, because within a few seconds Craig knocked out, curling into a fetal position.

 

The new kid finally turned around after hearing dual snores from the two boys. They smiled at the sight of the couple sleeping, but that smile soon turned into a frown as they looked outside. Out there, the protestors were still lined up with their picket signs and their anti-gay propaganda. He was worried for the two- especially Tweek, after Craig told everyone about how much Tweek really needs to nap.

 

The new kid walked over to the sleeping boys and grabbed Craig’s clipboard. The clipboard was thrown on the table; on there were a few papers and forms half completed by the Noirette.

 

The new kid decided to allow Craig to sleep than to make him finish his paperwork. Instead, they would finish it for him. After all, Tweek desperately needed Craig more than he himself realized. The new kid grabbed their own clipboard, and went into an office. More forms to fill out.

 

* * *

 

Thanks to the heroes Call Girl, Toolshed, and Human Kite, Bridon was able to continue his part of the play. By the time they came back, the first act had ended and entered their first intermission.

 

The three kids, Stan, Kyle, and Wendy were in the make up room with Bridon, as he allowed them inside.

 

“You guys really saved me.” Bridon told them, “I can’t handle the offensive names anymore.”

 

“We know, and umm.” Wendy opened Kyle’s Manila folder. “We need to ask you some personal questions. Is that fine?”

 

“I have five minutes until they need me.” Bridon turned his swivel chair from facing the mirror to Wendy. “Hit me.”

 

“When we were fighting the sixth graders, they told us about your basket ball games.” Wendy signaled Kyle to pull open his phone.

 

“What about my basket ball games?” Bridon found a thermos and opened it. “I’m the captain.” He took a sip.

 

“They told us about... the accident.” Wendy scooted in closer. “And I’ve been told it’s... not pretty.”

 

“What accident?” Bridon asked.

 

Kyle handed his phone to the third grader. Bridon presses play and watched the video. The video started with Bridon playing defense against the other team. Before they shot the ball, Bridon came in and smacked the ball out of the air. The ball dribbled towards the other side of the court, and Bridon was the first to receipt it. He was able to grab it, but accidentally tackled another player. The two of them landed on the floor, with Bridon on top and the other kid on the bottom.

 

Bridon had chipped his tooth on the other kid’s collarbone.

 

“That’s what you were talking about.” Bridon stood up, realizing that his five minutes were almost up. “I need to go. I’ll talk to you guys later!”

 

And he left his dressing room.

 

“That felt strange.” Wendy noted. She closed the folder and looked at the two boys in the room. “He’s hiding something from us.”

 

“He is hiding something.” Kyle confirmed, “And we need to find that out.”

 

Stan was leaning against the wall with both of his hands in his pockets. “Guys. The play starts in five minutes. We should go.”

 

Kyle and Wendy nodded and left the dressing room with Stan.

 

* * *

 

After the new kid woke up Craig two hours after his nap, the two of them decided to drop by Shi-TiPa Town to go to the Whole Foods. They walked out of the LGBT Center and saw the large crowd of men holding protest signs on the sidewalk.

 

“Hey you kids!” A man yelled, “We want you out of our town!”

 

“Just ignore them.” Craig whispered to the new kid. The two boys were very hungry after dealing with school and other duties, and decided to go out to Whole Foods for food.

 

“Get out of town!”

 

“-For taking our jobs!”

 

“-DEY DERK DUR DERBS!”

 

“-They have unnatural genders and sexual identities!”

 

As they were now walking on the lawn to avoid the crowd of men on the sidewalk, the men started following them.

 

“Get out of town!”

 

“Fuck off!”

 

“Go suck your boyfriend’s dick.”

 

Craig needed to hold down the new kid for the massive amounts of microaggressions the men were committing. And he couldn’t blame him- he really wanted to punch them too.

 

As the two boys finally made it to the cross walk, the men quickly sprinted across the street and filled up the sidewalks on the other side.

 

“You pieces of shit don’t deserve to walk on a sidewalk!” A man yelled at them.

 

“Come on, Douchebag.” Craig tugged his arm. “We’ll just go back.” The new kid looked at him, and remained silent as usual.

 

“Booo!” a man yelled, “Go back to your shitty home! And then get the fuck out of our town!” The men yelled so much louder after that.

 

Craig opened the double doors to the center and closed them after the new kid walked in.

 

“Hey Craig. New kid.” Tweek eyes were wide opened as he sat himself up. After taking the two hour nap, Tweek felt a bit energized by it. “Did you guys already get food?”

 

“Not going.” Craig sat down next to Tweek’s pillow and placed it on his lap. “The fucking people outside are protesting. They won’t even let us walk on the sidewalk.”

 

“That’s horrible.” Tweek scooted closer and laid down on the couch. His head touched the pillow on top of Craig’s lap; his lion’s mane still sticking out. “I need to nap still.”

 

“There there sweetie.” Craig smiled as he started to stroke the familiar spot on Tweek’s neck. Tweek’s eyes closed, and within seconds Tweek was fully asleep. The new kid smiled at the cute couple, going on his phone afterwards.

 

It hadn’t even been a whole minute of silence before the two awake boys heard a splat on their windows. The new kid turned around and saw that someone had thrown City Chicken on their window.

 

Wendy walked out of her office with an angry face. “Did they just throw food on our window?”

 

Craig shushed Wendy, signaling Tweek on his lap. Wendy gasped and covered her mouth. She angrily stomped on the ground and pointed at the window. The new kid nodded as she turned around and walked back into her office. Craig slowly shifted the pillow and Tweek off his lap before getting up.

 

The two boys were back outside, now facing several men on the lawn of the LGBT Center.

 

“The mayor refused our right to protest! She said you guys are staying!”

 

“Fuck the mayor!” Someone shouted.

 

“Since we can’t move you guys out politically...” The man pulled his arm sleeves up. “We will move you guys out with force!” Four other people walked forward, showing off their biceps.

 

“EVERYONE CALM DOWN!”

 

The new kid and Craig turned around to Tweek. “Everyone... why are you guys so angry at us?”

 

The first man that walked up replied. “You guys took our jobs!”

 

“DEY DERK DUR DERBS!”

 

Tweek walked forward. “On behalf of the LGBT center, we sincerely apologize for our actions of hiring professionally trained construction workers to assemble the center. Look, people. That can’t be the only reason why you guys are all mad. Tell me, sir. What do you want?”

 

The man replied. “Jobs.”

 

“I’m sorry sir.” Tweek replied. “We only hire those who are classified under the LGBT community.”

 

“B-but we’re all allies.”

 

“Allies don’t count as LGBT. In fact, in the entire acronym of LGBTQIA+, A is meant for asexual or a-gender. Never ally.” Tweek took a step closer. “What else do you guys want?”

 

The man remained still, standing in front of Tweek. Within seconds, the man shouted, “We want you guys out of town!”

 

Behind the man in the crowd, someone launched a volley of Chinese food onto the center. Looking at the mass of food, all Tweek could do was hold his hands out. Shielding himself from the hot mess that was about to ensue onto him.

 

But it never came.

 

Tweek opened his clenched eyes and saw a tall figure in front him... flipping his middle finger. Craig had made his entrance in time, able to call upon an ability called Shining Hate Finger. By using his middle finger, Craig is able to create a shield around himself. He was also able to shield Tweek as well.

 

The two boys watched as the new kid went forward and used Root Burst- a move in the Plantmancer Class that does knock back and bleeding to a large mass. All the men who stepped forward- all five of them- were knocked out of their feet. Tweek was marveled about how calmly the new kid was acting.

 

“Tweek!” Craig yelled. Craig was standing still, but his shield was breaking. “We need to use Eros Eruption.”

 

“But Craig!” Tweek told him, “That won’t help in this situation! Too much pressure!”

 

“Tweek,” Craig’s shield broke. The glass had shattered in front of them, leaving them exposed to the old men in front of them. “Please Tweek.”

 

Tweek looked around at the situation. The men were now targeting the new kid. They threw bottles of beer, threw boxes of hot Chinese food, and were simply punching him.

 

He let out his right hand, and Craig grasped for it with his right. A light Japanese string instrument of some sort could be heard in the background, followed by a bang of several taiko drums. The scene changes and the two are now anime-mized and speaking Japanese.

 

Tweek spoke first, “今だょ。君のカを僕にさょうだい...” (It’s time. Please lend me your power...)

 

Craig then followed, “ああ。ふたりでー緒たイこう!” (Alright! Let’s go together!*)

 

They then leaned close to each other. Both of their faces were inches away from each other. They both chanted, “溢れ出した愛はーつとなり世界を満たす!” (We’ll fill this world with our overflowing, combined love!) The two boys, for a flash of a second, joined hands and were both flashed naked with only their underpants on.

 

The cut scene ended and the two boys were both floating in mid air with joined hands. A bright pink smoke with pink flowers infested the room as “Let’s fighting love” played in the back ground. The pink smoke cleared up immediately as soon as they floated back to the ground.

 

The pink spike inflicted heavy damage onto all of the opponents and also gave them the confused status condition. The five adult men in front all passed out and fainted on the ground. Every other man was confused and started stumbling.

 

The new kid stood up and walked back to where Tweek and Craig was. The new kid grabbed Craig’s left arm.

 

“Buttlord what are you-“

 

The new kid revealed to Tweek a small burn on Craig’s hand.

 

“Craig!” Tweek flashed back to the scene, and realized that some Chinese food did hit Craig when he flipped them off. “You got hurt! We need to fix this!”

 

The new kid watched Tweek drag the poor Craig into the LGBT Center. He smiled at the couple, realizing how cute they were together. He hoped that they’ll never separate.

 

* * *

 

Wendy, Stan, and Kyle were now sitting in the bleachers once again.

 

It was a few days after the school’s Hamlet play, and now it was the next basketball game that was against North Park.

 

Bridon was leading the offense with two other players. The three of them, along with two other players in the back, were making their way towards the basket. There was only forty-two seconds. The score was 82:83, North Park leading.

 

“They’re leading right now.” Wendy told the two boys. “If Bridon makes this shot and stalls, then we could win.”

 

“That’s nice Wendy,” Kyle said, looking at the files. To Kyle, the game didn’t really matter to him, because there was something off about Bridon in the file. Kyle read his bio once again: Bridon was the main lead in the time the whole school was addicted to High School Musical, because of his ability to sing and dance. Bridon’s father had taught him the life of theater, even though he opted for basketball. Once he was able to pursue his dreams of basketball, Bridon made his time for both basket ball and theater- so that he could please his father whilst playing his favorite sport.

 

“What’s wrong Kyle?” Stan asked. Stan was also one to not really care about school sports. In fact, he only tagged along because both Wendy and Kyle asked him to join.

 

“Something seems off about Bridon’s file.” Kyle kept skimming and now was reading the Hobbies section.

 

“Kyle, Bridon is simply a cis boy who’s straight.” Wendy cheered for the crowd. “Why are you so skeptical about him?”

 

“Kyle, is it because of Wednesday?” Stan asked. Wednesday was the day the three of them went to watch the Hamlet musical; the same day the three of them talked to him in the green room.

 

“Wednesday?” Wendy retorted back, “There was nothing shady about the talk we had with him that day.”

 

“It wasn’t the talk.” Kyle focused onto the papers in front of him. He started to skim the results of multiple personality tests. “After the talk.”

 

The three of them looked up and saw Bridon on his way to making the winning shot. Bridon was at the left of the three-point line, blocked by an opponent. He managed to trick the other kid and rotated around him; still dribbling down the straight. Another opponent in front of him ran to his direction, swinging his long arms to try to steal the ball. But Bridon was swift already from the starting momentum- he was able to dodge and avoid that boy.

 

Bridon jumped into the air and pushed the ball upward with his momentum. With that amount of force, the ball went well into the air and hit the square on the backboard. The ball sank into the basket, and the whole crowd boo’ed. The score was 84:83; South Park in the lead.

 

“What the hell?” Bridon asked his teammates. Wendy and Kyle looked around before dragging Stan with them off the bleachers.

 

The game ended a few seconds after that, as North Park was unable to score the last point. Bridon angrily walked into the locker room as the crowd continuously boo’ed.

 

Entering the locker room, Bridon slammed his fist into the locker, cursing at the audience and his faith.

 

Kyle and Stan entered the locker room, approaching him with caution. “Hey…” Kyle slowly walked up to him. “Are you okay?”

 

“The whole school hates me.” Bridon sat down at the bench located in-between the lockers. “And it’s because the whole school thinks I’m gay.”

 

“Calm down dude.” Stan backed off a bit, holding both hands up. “You’re not gay.”

 

“It’s because of Michael.” Bridon ran both hands through his thick hair and slicked it back. “The kid I accidentally bumped into.”

 

“His name is Michael?” Kyle asked, “So did you two talk?”

 

Bridon exaggeratedly sighed as his back arched towards the bench. “Can we talk about something else? I really don’t want to go on this.”

 

“No Bridon,” Stan walked forward. “We need to do this now.” Kyle was a bit surprised by Stan’s outburst. “What happened?”

 

Bridon sat up, taking his time to breathe. “Fine.” Kyle and Stan closed in on Bridon.

 

“After the game, Michael found me and apologized.” Bridon moved his legs so he could sit more comfortably. “We hung out and became friends. He was also a theater kid so it was really easy to talk to him. We started hanging out like… once every week?”

 

“You hung out with a North Park kid?” Stan asked. Kyle punched his arm, and signaled Bridon to continue. Stan rubbed the sore area on his arm.

 

“Yeah. It was pretty… nice,” Bridon admitted, “We hung out for like… two months? And then he got weird.”

 

“Weird?” Kyle asked.

 

“We were both playing GTA 5… and then Michael kissed me.” Bridon looked at the two boys, expecting to find reactions. Kyle and Stan were both unaffected by the story so far. Michael continued, “Things got really awkward after that. I haven’t spoken to him since. But now people are spreading rumors of me being gay and I just can’t take it anymore!”

 

“Bridon…” The three boys looked to see Wendy walking into the locker room. “Do you think Michael is the one spreading the rumors?”

 

“Wendy?” Stan asked, “What are you doing here?”

 

“The team is celebrating outside so I can come in,” Wendy sat down in front of Bridon at the bench. “The boys’ locker room is so smelly. “Anyways, Michael. Rumors. Yes?”

 

“Definitely.” Bridon started turning the knob on the locker. “And now he’s going to ruin my life. My dad will never talk to me again. My mom and sister will join him. And now I have to live my life as a gay person.”

 

“No dude.” Stan joined in. “All you need to do is embrace it. Just do what Tweek and Craig did.”

 

“What did they do?” Bridon asked.

 

* * *

 

Craig was having enough with the protesting group outside of the LGBT Center. First, they were protesting on their property. Then they were blocking their way and then they fought them. Now, they were being even more rowdy and noisy than last time. Craig tightened his hold on the sleeping Tweek at his side, trying to keep the blonde asleep.

 

For the past few weeks Tweek has been sleeping more often and Craig was proud of this. After the new kid showed Craig what was added into the coffee, Craig immediately confronted Tweek. At first, Tweek refused to acknowledge such a scheme. But after talking to his parents, Tweek found out that his coffee was in-fact laced with meth. Tweek went cold turkey since, and due to the lack of coffee he was getting tired incredibly fast.

 

And after going cold turkey for officially three weeks, Tweek was feeling the effects. He quit his family’s coffee and his own coffee entirely; and ever since he never stepped five feet to the coffee shop. And since then, Tweek has been receiving over ten hours a sleep per night. It had been throwing his daily schedule so much, he had been sleeping three hours at the Center and a full night’s of sleep of seven to nine at home.

 

Craig had been so supportive of him too. He had been trying his hardest to help Tweek get as much sleep as he can possibly get. After all, the sleep has been distracting Tweek from the coffee.

 

But as of right now, Craig wasn’t so sure if he can continue with this. After the men started protesting the opening of the LGBT Center, there had been so much noise Tweek couldn’t fall asleep at the Center. Instead, he had been sleeping later and during classes- something he seriously hated. Craig looked out the window and saw the men protesting at the street outside. The loud men had constantly been interrupting Tweek’s sleep so often, it was worrying Craig. Now that the men were holding up giant signs, it had been hard to not look at them.

 

“Craig…”

 

Craig looked down to see Tweek half asleep. His eyes were barely open; his lips were a bit chapped. Even his blonde lion’s mane of hair had casted upon his face. At this angle, Tweek looked as if he was an angel- his face of pale had splotches of red shade on his cheeks and his eyes were shining with a calming light. The green in his eyes looked like calm meadows upon a valley. Tweek smiled at the boy above him, and whispered, “Craig.”

 

“What is it honey?” Craig whispered back at his softest tone.

 

The new kid, Wendy, and Kyle were also in the lobby as well. The three of them were discussing plans on how to handle Bridon, as well as the outside protestors. But as Wendy chatted away with the new kid, Kyle was staring at the two gay kids.

 

Kyle was hesitant at first about letting Craig and Tweek join the board of officers for the club. He thought about his past experiences with the both of them- the Peruvian flute bands and the Kenny replacement.

 

But after seeing them work together to get the President off his phone and also after seeing them both deal with the president on the loose, Kyle had more faith in them.

 

“I’ve been thinking Craig,” Tweek’s voice had been a bit louder, “We’re a pretty good team, don’t you think?”

 

“We are a good combination.” Craig admitted.

 

“It got me thinking about back then. When we played superheroes.” Tweek turned to face Craig entirely. “Remember before when we were fighting those rednecks?”

 

“They would come every time the new kid did something about their identity.” Craig chuckled, which was Kyle’s first time seeing it, “I miss those days.”

 

“I miss them too.” Tweek leaked up and lightly pecked Craig’s lips before falling asleep.

 

“Wait. Guys.” Kyle spoke, interrupting Wendy. “I think... I know what to do.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, at the basket ball court inside the gym, Wendy walked in and saw Bridon sitting on the benches.

 

“Whats wrong Gueermo?” Wendy asked. She took the seat next to him.

 

“I met up with Michael again after the last time we talked,” Bridon said, not glancing a sight at Wendy. “We spoke for an hour about what’s gonna happen.”

 

“I’m glad you two talked.” Wendy looked around and saw Tweek and Craig at the bleachers. “What have you guys found out?”

 

Bridon was silent at first. He had the words in him, but his mouth and face wouldn’t allow him to say it. It was as if he himself was preventing him from saying the truth.

 

“Just... think it out.” Wendy patted his back and gave him a smile. “Then day it out.”

 

Bridon told himself in his mind a sentence that he had been practicing since the night before. He kept thinking the same line again and again and again until he got it right. This line wasn’t a play script or a tactic for basketball. This line was a statement that will define him from the rest of the population. It will show how he is unique to those around him, and it will give him strength when he will need it the most.

 

“I’m bisexual.”

 

Wendy smiled and opened her arms, accepting the third grader. “Good for you, Bridon. Good for you.”

 

After a few minutes, Wendy and Bridon walked out of the school. It was at that moment when a pick up truck with four men in the bed pulled up to the front of the school.

 

“Hey!” Said one of the men. “It’s Bridon. He’s a bisexual kid.”

 

“And you know what we do to bisexuals?” Another man said.

 

Wendy dashed in front of Bridon and called, “New Kid! Kyle!” Within an instant, Kyle and the new kid jumped out of the bush and followed Wendy. The new kid was wearing the same outfit as in school, but Kyle had the Human Kite kite in his hand. “Let’s kick their ass!” Wendy cried as the three of them charged.

 

The four men all stood next to each other in line, each throwing a bottle of beer at the three kids. Wendy was hit once, but was able to brush off the damage. Kyle threw his kite into the air, launching into the sky and into the atmosphere. The kite flew straight down in front of the new kid, striking and cracking the sidewalk. The beer bottle projectiles hit the kite, shielding the new kid.

 

Wendy pulled out her phone and used an ability of hers called Phone Destroyer. By simply tapping on her phone to open a certain program, she was able to send a virus to the opponent’s phone. The virus would blow up the device, damaging them and giving them zero defense.

 

The new kid walked forward and used the familiar Root Burst. He patted the ground, sprouting a dozen or so roots from the ground to pierce the enemy in front of him. The four men were knocked back- even two of them hit the pick up truck.

 

One of the men walked forward with a broken beer bottle and hit Wendy with it.

 

“Wendy!” Kyle called out.

 

“I’m fine.” Wendy shook her arm, now bruising red. “Get Bridon to safety.”

 

Tweek and Craig jumped from the bushes and grabbed Bridon’s arm. The three boys ran off on the sidewalk. Two men had noticed and started dashing towards the three boys. They made it to the sidewalk, where they tripped over the curb.

 

Except, they didn’t trip over the curb. The new kid had been able to catch up to them using Dragon Reversal. He quickly slid under the two men’s feet, and kicked one back to the other. The two guys fell on their feet at the side of the sidewalk.

 

Kyle focused and stared at a man in front of him. His eyes had a stinging sensation, and shot forward a pair of lasers. The lasers hit the man in front of him, causing him to fall to the ground.

 

Now that every man from the pick up truck was damaged, Wendy pulled out her second phone. By uniting her two phones together, she was able to use her Chinpokomon game to create a pokemon spawn location. Within an instant, a crowd of people had invaded the street, trampling the four men.

 

In the distance, Craig, Tweek, and Bridon had ran towards the corner of the street. The LGBT Center was only the next building over. The three of them hid behind the trash can as they watched the crowd of men in front of the LGBT center disperse.

 

“Why are they going?” Tweek asked. “What’s making them leave?”

 

“Yeah,” Bridon asked, “I heard you guys had protestors. Why are they dispersing?”

 

Craig looked at Bridon and told him, “Because they all want to fight you now.”

 

“What.” Bridon asked, seeking clarification.

 

“See, every time the new kid had identified himself as something, the men would instantly appear outside of the school and would try to beat him up.” Craig made the two boys duck even more as some men drove past them. “Now, they’re targeting Wendy and the new kid after you came out.”

 

“But that wouldn’t solve anything!” Bridon told him, “They’ll just target you guys again and protest.”

 

“Don’t worry about that.” Craig made the two boys look to see the new kid sprouting roots and Kyle spinning his giant kite like a ribbon. “The three of them can take care of groups.”

 

They all watched as Wendy used two selfie sticks to beat up an older man. Eventually, they would see a drone simply shooting down the masses of angry protestors. The three boys had sat there as the three kids essentially plowed through the crowd of men. Bridon even looked over to see Tweek falling asleep.

 

“You tired?” Bridon asked.

 

“I usually nap at this time.” Tweek wrapped his arms around Craig and leaned on his side. His head was resting on Craig’s bicep. Within a minute, he was lightly dozing off.

 

“So want to go to the LGBT Center?” Craig asked. He lightly tapped Tweek’s nose, waking him up. “You can do whatever you want there.”

 

Bridon smiled as he watched Craig lightly tugging the Tweek to stand up. “No thanks. I have to go to North Park.”

 

The three boys parted off. Tweek and Craig went to the LGBT Center and Bridon went to the bus stop. Wendy smiled at Bridon walking away in the distance. She picked up her blood-stained selfie stick and used it to wack a man’s stomach.

 

* * *

 

The next day, the final school bell rang, indicating the end of a day. The kids had all left the classroom to their lockers, switching books and other items. Stan was placing his book into his locker when Kyle and Wendy walked up to him.

 

“Hey Stan.” Wendy greeted.

 

“Hey Stan.” Kyle said, more casually.

 

“Okay. What the hell do you two want now?” Stan slammed his locker shut. “All week you two had been asking me to do shit individually but then come together.”

 

Wendy started first, “Stan, I-“

 

“No Wendy.” Stan said in rage, “You two are literally working together at the LGBT Center. You two are literally next to each other when you both text me stuff.”

 

“Stan.” Kyle cut in, “We did that on purpose to tease you. After all, you are my best friend Stan.”

 

“And we have a complicated relationship.” Wendy told Stan. “So can’t the three of us get along?”

 

Stan looked at the two people in front of him. Kyle, his best friend since forever, and Wendy, his gender-fluid friend. “Fine.”

 

Kyle and Wendy high five’d each other, both walking with Stan to the exit.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, C-Craig.”

 

Craig turned around and found Tweek looking into the ground. Based on his tone, he asked, “Babe what’s wrong?”

 

“I-I,” Tweek couldn’t even look at Craig, too nervous to move his head up. The new kid, who was standing next to him, tapped his arm, letting him know they were there for him. Reek breathed and told Craig, “I... I haven’t been sleeping well at home.”

 

“You- you haven’t?” Craig was now fully turned around. The three of them were leaving the LGBT Center when Tweek asked to stop.

 

“At home,” Tweek started, “I usually sleep at ten, and then I would randomly wake up at four am. And then after that I would stay up.”

 

“Tweek, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Craig asked.

 

“Be-because...” Tweek blushed, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you with me.”

 

Craig’s eye’s widened.

 

“That nap earlier was the b-best nap I had in a while.” Tweek paused. “In fact, all my good naps were when you were with me.”

 

The new kid and Craig smiled.

 

“D-do you wanna... stay over the night?” Tweek asked.

 

The new kid covered his mouth with both hands.

 

“Sure.” Craig came in and opened his hand. Tweek accepted, and continued down the sidewalk.

 

The new kid didn’t even realize that Tweek and Craig completely ditched them until they crossed the street.

 

 

>  I guess, there are some days you have to realize that getting over something is a lot nicer when you have the support of your friends and allies.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking of releasing this chapter based thing every week on Fridays, because 1) these things take forever to write and to create ideas for. 2) These things also take a lot of editing and research. 3) Following a once-in-a-week format kinda like South Park kinda adds on character in a sense. I don't know, I'm unoriginal.
> 
> Also, chapters 2-11 (well really they're episodes 1-10, but in this order on AO3) will be formatted similar to this to where there are different story arcs and stuff. I hope this type of writing becomes a thing, because I'm really enjoying doing this. Thank you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. 
> 
> -Negira


	3. The Curing Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The president is coming in a week and the LGBT Center is a wreck. Not to mention, Eric Cartman is throwing things off a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit guys gals and non-binary pals thanks so much for all the support and reading of this series. I know it's pretty long but I really wanted to make each chapter feel like it's an episode of South Park. Special thanks to everyone who left a kudos and commented on the previous chapters. 
> 
> So I had some concerns over the previous chapters, as I noticed things like grammatical errors or like weird paragraphs or wording. You figured that I, a person who learned English as a first language, would write more grammatically correct. Nope. If I have the time then I'll edit and change the phrases. Anything else that I don't notice you guys must notify me- which brings me to my next point.
> 
> I have created a side blog called negira1239sp so you guys can 1) communicate to me whether it's private messaging or asking me on my blog, 2) see how I think of South Park (and how I think it's very meme-ing ful and philosophical [figuratively and literally]) and 3) to post random shit that I think it's pretty funny or weird or different. 
> 
> Another announcement I wanted to make is that I might post chapters on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. The reason is, my schedule is set up so Tuesdays are my somewhat free days. So expect the next chapter maybe next Tuesday or Wednesday. Thanks for reading.

 

 

The winter day started off with a bit of clouds and snow. The school had not canceled the day, but it was bad enough to cause a dent. Tweek and Wendy were outside of the LGBT Center shoveling snow off the pavement.

 

“We need to finish this in ten minutes!” Wendy said, grabbing a bunch of snow and pushing it to the lawn. “And then we need to clean the windows and then clean inside too.”

 

“GAH!” Tweek paved a shovel of snow to the side. “This is too much pressure!” He continued shoveling as fast as his body can. After quitting coffee for a month, he had recently tried something Wendy recommended- tea. Tea had caffeine in it, but it wasn’t as bad as coffee. Now, Tweek was not as shaky, but he was still moving quickly.

 

“We need to impress the President Tweek!” Wendy finished the last pile onto the lawn, finishing a path way to the entrance. “He’s coming next week!”

 

“GAH!” Tweek threw a shovel of snow into the lawn. “Don’t. Remind. ME!”

 

Inside the LGBT Center was Craig and Kyle. Kyle was sitting behind the desk with an open file with Craig leaning against the shelf. In front of them sat Eric Cartman.

 

“What do you want, fatass?” Kyle asked.

 

“I was wondering if the LGBT Center can organize something for me,” Eric said in his nicest voice. “After all, the LGBT Center guidelines do show that they would spend money on their members.”

 

“You’re not a member Cartman.” Kyle informed him.

 

Eric shot back, “A member of the LGBT Center is anybody in the LGBTQ community that also participate in said-LGBT Center activities. And I do recall you guys did an activity last week.”

 

Kyle groaned. The Center was simply holding a booth in the school to spread awareness of distracted driving. And there was a fucking sign in sheet as well. “Well. What do you identify as?”

 

“I’m trans-ginger.” Eric told them.

 

“Trans-ginger is not something you cannot identify as.” Kyle was trying to keep himself in tact before he exploded in front of Eric. “Now why are you really here fatass.”

 

“Because I’m trans-ginger and I need more resources!” Eric was basically throwing a tantrum.

 

“Look. Eric.” Kyle opened his file, which revealed a bunch of untaken personality tests. “Take all of these tests. And answer honestly. We can tell if you lie or not.”

 

Eric shot a raspberry. “How the hell can you tell if I’m lying on a test?”

 

Without looking away, Kyle ordered, “New kid.” and the new kid appeared. “Watch him take the test.”

 

* * *

 

Three hours had past, and the LGBT Center was in a disaster.

 

“What do you meant the roads leading to South Park are closed?” Wendy yelled into the phone. “Tomorrow? FINE!” She slammed the receiver on the landline. Wendy was very mad about the snow outside.

 

An hour after Tweek and Wendy shoveled the snow, the weather was now coming back and snowing another few inches. No one in the center noticed, but three solid inches of snow had snowed outside. Thankfully, the entrance wasn’t blocked at all, but it would make the walk home difficult. Since then, the two had been focusing on cleaning the interior of the center- until they realized the usual cleaning crew was stuck in the snow.

 

“Tomorrow?” Tweek gasped, panicking. He was holding a feather duster and wearing a mouth mask to protect himself from inhaling dust. In his other gloved hand was a wet rag of sanitizer fluid. “That’s too much pressure!”

 

“Tweek! We got this!” Wendy pulled out a paper pamphlet. “I’m going to read this so we can use the industrial vacuum. The industrial vacuum was essentially a giant lawn mower that vacuums, mops, scrubs, and dries the floor within multiple rounds. The machine was used every day by the cleaning crew- that usually came at night- at the beginning of their cleaning process.

 

“The industrial v-vacuum?” Tweek stuttered, “But that one is huge! That is way too much pressure!” Tweek dropped his rag into the bucket. “Just mop everywhere and that should be okay!”

 

“Tweek! We don’t have time to mop everywhere!” Wendy was scanning though the instruction manual. “I’m gonna read through this give me ten minutes.”

 

In the other room, the new kid was scoring the tests. Eric was sitting back on the chair as Kyle and Craig were panicking. Well, more Kyle panicking than Craig.

 

“What if he passes?” Kyle asked. “What if he is something?”

 

“Kyle calm down.” Craig patted Kyle’s back. “Only Tweek can have panic attacks.”

 

Everyone was now looking at the new kid tallying up the scores. The new kid held up a sheet of paper and handed it to Kyle. Kyle accepted the paper, reading the results on here.

 

“Hey! Just say it already!” Eric said angrily.

 

“Eric, your test is barely valid.” Kyle said, shocked. Kyle kept reading. “And… and…”

 

“WHAT IS IT?” Eric asked.

 

Craig took the paper and read the line. “You are a demisexual.”

 

“YES- I mean,” Eric coughed, “And I knew it to be true!”

 

The new kid stared at Eric Cartman. The fat embodiment of cancer in front of him laughing and faking this whole scenario right now.

 

“Shut up Cartman.” Kyle barked, “You are not getting money from the LGBT Center.

 

“Oh-ho oh oh oh Kyle,” Eric smirked, “As a member, you are entitled to give me money.”

 

And that’s when Kyle realized, “Wait. I don’t. That’s not my job.” Kyle looked at Craig, “It’s Tweek’s job.”

 

“Okay. So do I ask Tweek for money?” Eric asked.

 

“No.” Craig barked back.

 

“You fill out a form saying you need some money and then a second form for reimbursement.” Kyle handed him the two papers. “We need them by tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow?” Eric shot a raspberry. “I can fill it out now.” And just like that, Eric went to fill out the papers.

 

In the main room, Wendy had rolled out the industrial vacuum and hand just plugged it in.

 

“Step one,” Wendy read out loud, “Make sure the tanks are all filled with the correct substances.” She then made sure there was enough water, soap, sanitizer, and other fluids in the correct tanks.

 

“Step two,” Wendy flipped the page, “Plug the vacuum in and turn it on.” Wendy walked over to the cord and plugged it in. The vacuum powered on and the engine ignited.

 

“Step three. Press the vacuum option.” Wendy went to the touch screen and pressed vacuum. The machine started to suck in the tiny dusts and balls of lint on the floor. Wendy smiled as she read, “Push forward.”

 

Wendy maneuvered the vacuum forward and after pushing it ten feet, the vacuum stopped. “Why is it not working?” Wendy tapped on the screen and the power immediately went out.

 

Kyle was the first to react to the dark room. He opened a drawer and quickly fished out a flash light.

 

“What the fuck?” Craig asked. “Where’s the power?”

 

“NO!” Cartman screamed, “I was almost done!”

 

“Just take the forms home.” Craig told him. “Now we need to evacuate everyone.”

 

“Evacuate everyone?” Eric asked.

 

“We’re a fucking center run by kids.” Craig told him, “What did you think?”

 

“Everyone out.” Kyle ordered. The new kid was able to obtain another flash light before guiding everyone to the main room.

 

Eventually, Wendy, Tweek, Craig, Kyle, Eric, and the New Kid were outside of the center.

 

“Fucking hell.” Wendy read the manual. “Please make sure the vacuum is properly cleaned out or else the machine will- fucking shit it short circuited.”

 

“Everyone home.” Kyle ordered. “Especially you Cartman.”

 

“Fuck you Ky-aisle! I’m staying here until I’m done with-“

 

“Go the fuck home!” Craig yelled. “Everyone go fucking home! I’m fucking cold. I’m fucking tired of this bullshit. There’s no fucking power!”

 

Tweek wrapped his arm around Craig and told everyone, “We should just go home for now. The technician isn’t coming until tomorrow anyways.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Wendy fixed her coat. “We’ll see everyone tomorrow? Good night everyone. Stay safe.”

 

“Good night.” Kyle waved at Wendy, who walked first. “I guess I’m going too. Come on Eric.”

 

“Fine.” Eric followed Kyle and walked down the sidewalk.

 

“We should go home too Tweek.” Craig looked to his side, “Tweek?”

 

Tweek had huddled into the fluffy jacket that Craig was wearing. Unfortunately, his jacket wasn’t big enough for the two of them. “I-I forgot my jacket inside.” Tweek said, shivering in the cold, “I ran out as soon as the power came out.”

 

The new kid tugged on Craig’s jacket and pointed to the direction of the houses.

 

“Well then, let’s just go home then.” Craig and Tweek ran along the sidewalk, running as fast as they can home.

 

The new kid smiled at the two boys before locking up the LGBT Center. They looked into the sky and saw the dark clouds slowly eclipsing into the sky. It was going to snow more that night.

 

* * *

 

“What’s wrong Eric?”

 

Eric looked around the room. He rotated his head to the left and to the right- no one else was in the room with him. He turned around and looked up, seeing the person who was taking his attention.

 

“Cupid Me, what do you want?” Eric said, unamused.

 

“Oh come on, Eric!” Cupid Me/Eric flew above him, emitting a trail of hearts behind him. “Why can’t we be like Tweek and Craig. Everyone thinks they’re so kewl.”

 

“That was a long time ago,” Eric told him, “And I am not a homosexual.”

 

“But you are a demisexual.” Cupid Eric told him, “Do you know what that means?”

 

Eric said out loud, “Alexa, what is a demisexual?”

 

The machine beeped, the blue ring appeared at the top of the cylinder, and announced, “A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong connection with someone.”

 

“But do you know what that means, Eric?” Cupid Eric asked.

 

Eric rolled his eyes, “It means I don’t pop a boner until I see a person I really like.”

 

Cupid Eric let out a small chuckle, “And who popped a boner on our... first date?”

 

Eric opened his mouth, about to reject the next set of words, but nothing came out. “Wait... what are you saying?”

 

“Tee he hee! You are a demisexual!” Cupid Eric flew around in the open space, happily cheering.

 

“Oh my god,” Eric rolled his office chair back to his desk, where the forms laid. “I’m a demisexual... to Cupid Me.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, the weather had worsen dramatically. School was officially canceled and closed for the day; everyone had received a phone call and a noticed about the closing.

 

The new kid was the first one to make it to the LGBTQ Center that day. With the snow being six inches deep, the new kid had brought their own shovel so they could get around without much difficulty. But the strangest thing was when they saw footprints in the snow.

 

Readying themselves, they walked forward on the path into the LGBT Center. At the door, the new kid pushed and noticed that the door was unlocked. They pushed the door open, slowly walking into the dark facility.

 

Inside the lobby of the LGBT Center was filled with trash. Dust, black water stains, and dirt was everywhere on the floors and walls. The couches themselves were also stained as well. The new kid immediately sent a text to the officer group chat.

 

Within twenty minutes, an officer had already filed a report for breaking and entering, and the cleaning crew Wendy had ordered the next day had arrived as well.

 

“Tweek,” Wendy told him, “We need to start cleaning! The President comes in two days!”

 

“But Wendy!” Tweek told her, “The machine exploded!” Upon further inspection, when the power came back on, the vacuum had reignited and the tank had also bursted. “How are we going to get all this out in time?”

 

As Wendy and Tweek went to talk with the cleaning crew, Eric Cartman walked into the center. In his hands were two completed forms.

 

“What do you want fatass?” Kyle asked.

 

Cartman dismissed the insult and walked into the office. He took the first chair in front and handed him the two completed papers. “I filled out the forms. They’re fucking stupid.”

 

“Well, sorry,” Kyle rolled his eyes as he took the two papers. He simply skimmed through them, but stopped on certain parts.

 

“You want us to fund a field trip to Denver.”

“Yes.”

 

“We’re holding an event at a restaurant to fundraiser demisexual awareness.”

“Yes.”

 

“We will spend $300 on food enough to feed 30 people.”

“Most likely.”

 

Kyle read the last line, and asked. “What kind of restaurant has a river running through it?”

“The esthetic kind.”

 

“Fine.” Kyle dismissed the two papers. “The executive board will overlook your decision at our next meeting.”

 

“The executive board?” Eric asked, “Who’s in the executive board?”

 

“The executive board is full of people in the LGBT Center in Denver.” Kyle explained, “they’re doing like fifty percent of the business stuff here and we do the other fifty. That’s how there’s only us five here and occasionally some adults.”

 

“For your request the board in Denver will see to it in their next meeting next week.”

 

“Next week?” Eric yelled, “That’s impossible!”

 

“Eric it’s only the 18th today.” Kyle told him. “You can wait a week.”

 

“But I need to go to C-“ Eric lost his anger, “C- c- Capital.” Eric paused for half a second, “Now!”

 

Kyle questioned the phrase, but decided to dismiss it. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

Eric got up and yelled, “Fucking weak dude,” as he left the room.

 

* * *

 

 

The outside of the LGBT Center was now covered in snow:

 

Tweek was trying his hardest to shovel as much snow as he can off the rooftops without falling.

Granted, the rooftop was not slanted, but it had filled up the gutters so shoveling it out was the next best thing.

 

Using the metallic shovel, Tweek heaved every time he picked up an amount and threw it off the side. He really wished that he had help or at least a bigger shovel, but with the new kid and Kyle now taking care of the LGBT Center business stuff in place for the four of them; Wendy cleaning every other room than the lobby in the LGBT center, everyone was busy with a task.

 

And then there was Craig. Today, despite being a busy day but slow day, the blonde hadn’t seen the Noirette at all. Tweek continued shoveling the snow off the roof. Thankfully, he still had an exit down to the first level. Otherwise, he would of called the fire department by now.

 

Tweek grabbed a heaping pile of the white powder and use his energy to throw it to the side. He started feeling water droplets sinking down from his upper back to his lower back. Wiping off the excess sweat off his forehead, he continued removing the snow.

 

“Tweek!”

 

Tweek stopped and turned his head to the side of the roof. He walked over form his pile to the side facing the front of the Center and saw Craig in his usual outfit holding a take out box. “What are you doing up there?”

 

“I’m- GAH- I’m removing the snow off the roof!” Tweek raised his shovel. “Why are you late Craig?”

 

Craig pointed to the boy behind him. Eric came by and walked passed him into the center. Craig signaled Tweek that they would talk later, and waved goodbye to the fellow blonde. Tweek smiled and waved as well, watching Craig enter the LGBT Center.

 

Once the two boys entered the LGBT Center, Eric immediately dashed to the couch and threw himself onto it. Craig sat nicely on the other couch and watched in disgust as Eric took his shoes off and laid down sideways.

 

“Do you have to do that, fatass?” Craig took his backpack off and set his take out box on the seat next to him.

 

“Shut up fag.” Eric grabbed his take out box and opened it, revealing a plate of shitty- City Chicken.

 

“Why did you want me to come with you anyways?” Craig opened his food package and saw the “savory” shitty- City Beef. “You could of went yourself.”

 

“But Craiggg.” Eric sat himself up before taking his first bite into the chicken dish. “You remember the rules. I’m just using my member benefits.”

 

“You are literally over two hundred pounds Eric.” Craig looked at his food and dismissed it. “No one can even carry you to kidnap you.”

 

“Fuck you Craig.” Eric brought out his iPad and started tapping on the screen.

 

Craig closed the box and placed the food back in the box. He got up from his seat and started walking to the lobby.

 

“Where are you going Craig?” Eric stopped eating and had crossed his arms.

 

“To do my fucking job.” Craig told him.

 

“As a member of the LGBT Center, you must do whatever you can to help me with my mental struggles.” Eric pulled out the manual as well, “Along with some other struggles.”

 

“God damn it Cartman.” Craig turned around and sat appropriately at the couch. “You fucking happy?”

 

“Very. Fucking happy.” Eric continued eating his food, not watching Craig text his boyfriend. Craig messaged Tweek, “I’ll come up later. Cartman being a dick right now.”

 

Tweek, who was at the rooftops, heard a notification ringtone from his phone. Using his gloves, he pulled out his phone out of his pocket and saw Craig’s message. He took his right glove off and texted back, “Don’t die.” and continued shoveling.

 

Craig saw the recent message and left it at that. He put his phone away before looking at the pile of fat in front of him. “What now?”

 

“Craig,” Eric set down his half eaten shitty- City Chicken- down on the table in front of him. “It says in the LGBT manual members get access to free condoms and other supplies.”

 

“The supplies are meant for those who want sex you fatass.” Craig pointed at the shelf nearing the closet.

 

“Then you wouldn’t mind if I take a bunch of condoms.” Eric got up and made his way to the shelf.

 

Craig turned his head to see Eric taking a handful of condoms. “Can you small penis even fit those condoms?”

 

Eric coughed, obviously remembering the penis size chart back in the old times of South Park. “No. I was gonna blow balloons with these.”

 

Craig rolled his eyes as Eric went back to his seat. Unwrapping a condom, he grabbed the ring and expanded it over his lips. As he was blowing into the balloon, the new kid came out of his office. He looked at Craig, who was simply face palming to Eric blowing a condom balloon the size of a small watermelon. The new kid walked over to Eric and slapped the balloon forward. The ballon hit Eric’s face, who instantly stopped blowing the balloon. Craig snickered at the confused boy as he stopped blowing into the small balloon.

 

“What the hell new kid?” Eric asked.

 

The new kid pointed to the shelf next to the wall, but pointed more specifically to the “No blowing or circulating air into the condoms sign.”

 

“One balloon isn’t going to hurt anyone-“ Eric accidentally let go of the balloon, and the condom flew everywhere in the center. The balloon itself flew in circles around the room, and conveniently flew into Wendy’s office.

 

“WHAT THE HELL GUYS.” Wendy shouted.

 

“Oh fuck. Umm…” Eric got up and grabbed his remaining food and bolted towards the door. “The new kid did it.”

 

Wendy walked out of her office with the condom held in her fingers. “Who the hell blew a goddamn condom balloon?”

 

“Cartman.” Craig told her, knowing the new kid wouldn’t say anything.

 

“That fucker.” Wendy threw the condom in the trash. “Can you guys watch over him? I know he’s demisexual and shit but honestly I need to take some calls right now and help Kyle and finish cleaning my office.”

 

“That’s what I was doing.” Craig told her. The new kid nodded along.

 

“Come on new kid. You can help me reach stuff.” The new kid followed Wendy into her office.

 

"Guys!" Craig stood up, "Seriously?"

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tweek was now inside of the offices of the LGBT Offices actually doing paperwork. He was happy that he wasn’t scrubbing, shoveling, or soaking. Now, his body was relaxed, sitting on his comfy office swirly chair, drinking a cup of freshly brewed herbal tea. Even though his hand ached from holding a pen in his grasp, Tweek would of taken this over any other activity currently. As of right now, Kyle subbed him out and was now sweeping dust off the furniture.

 

Kyle was wearing the apron Tweek had on earlier. His sleeves were rolled up and his apron was well equipped with dusters, paper towels, windex, everything. As he was wiping the window viewing out of the office, Kyle was asking Tweek about ideas.

 

“Do you have any idea what fatass wants?” Kyle asked, spraying windex to the window. He ripped one sheet of paper towel from the roll and folded it before using it to wipe the window.

 

“I’m looking at everything you wrote, and I honestly don’t know.” Tweek flipped a paper. “He said he wanted to rent the place out and get catering from there equivalent to three hundred people.”

 

“I wonder what the place is.” Kyle managed to get a higher stool and climbed onto the top of it, making him tall enough to reach the top of the window. “I can’t think of venues to rent out.”

 

“If he needs to rent a place for three hundred people, it has to be somewhere warm,” Tweek thought out loud. “It’s cold outside. And I had to remove snow twice!”

 

“Wait a minute…” Kyle stopped wiping, and thought about it.

 

“Three hundred people,” Eric’s voice echoed.

 

“Catering,” Eric’s voice echoed once again,

 

“Warm,” Tweek’s voice echoed.

 

“C-C,” Eric’s voice echoed.

 

Kyle’s face instantly turned angry.

 

“THAT FATASS WANTS US TO FUND A TRIP TO CASA BONITA!”

 

“GAH!” Tweek screamed, throwing his papers into the air. His legs kicked forward, moving him away from the desk. The back of his chair had hit a shelf, causing some decoration items to nudge.

 

Within a few seconds, Craig entered the office. “I heard Tweek screaming what the fuck’s going on?” Craig notices Kyle standing next to the window and Tweek on the floor trying to grab the dropped papers.

 

“Kyle screamed because he had a revelation.” Tweek explained, panicking because his fingers were somehow not able to grab a sheet of paper off the floor.

 

“Fatass wants money for Casa Bonita!” Kyle exclaimed, jumping down from his position. “I should of known that was his fucking plan!”

 

“Casa Bonita?” Craig asked. “What’s a Casa Bonita?”

 

“You... you don’t know what Casa Bonita is?” Kyle asked. “Tweek?”

 

The blonde shook his head no. “Wendy?” Kyle shouted, “Have you ever heard of Casa Bonita?”

 

Wendy appeared at the doorway, “Casa Bonita? Didn’t Cartman kidnap Butters so he could go there?”

 

“Wait!” Tweek screamed, “Cartman kidnapped Butters? Why is this happening!”

 

“Don’t worry Tweek,” Craig told Tweek, “I won’t let anyone kidnap you.”

 

The new kid, who hid behind the wall next to Wendy, held his heart with his hands. Wendy spoke up, “So why did you ask about Casa Bonita?”

 

“Cartman’s fundraiser was really Casa Bonita.” Kyle told them, “I still don’t know why he wants three hundred people.”

 

“Is it his birthday or something?” Craig asked.

 

“No, his birthday is-“ Kyle paused. “No... Wait... When is his birthday?”

 

Wendy immediately got on her phone and within several seconds, she announced. “Next week.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid and Craig got out of the car and grabbed their bags. Closing the door behind them, they made sure they had everything before letting the Uber driver know he could leave.

 

North Park was a lot different than South Park. The town had every other thing South Park didn’t have, but also complimented everything in between.

 

The new kid and Craig walked their way down the pavement to the front door. The house was exactly the same style and format as the houses in South Park. The only difference was that this house shaded a bluer brown rather than the brown houses. They knocked three times before footsteps can be heard behind the door.

 

The door opened to reveal a blonde ten year old. Their golden hair was more grown out and slicked back. He wore a brown dress shirt, a pair of khakis, and wore black leather shoes. The new kid waved at the boy, Gregory, in front of him.

 

“Hello there, new kid. And umm,” Gregory looked at Craig, trying to remember his name. “Craig? Sorry, I wasn’t able to learn everyone’s name before I left.” Gregory moved back, “Come in to my humble abode. I’ve prepared some tea for your arrival.”

 

The new kid smiled as he dusted his shoes and kicked off any possible resonants before entering the house. Craig simply walked in, not really caring about Gregory’s home. The house had a long couch and a small sofa in an L shape in front of the television. They took a seat on the long couch, taking the cushion closest to the door.

 

“Excuse the disorganization of my living room,” Gregory said as he placed a small white tray on the coffee table. There were four cups and plates, and a tea pot filled with some sort of tea. Craig looked around and cocked his head. The whole house was already pretty clean. “I haven’t had the time to do some chores.”

 

The new kid watched as Gregory poured from the tea pot a more brown and transparent tea. From the whiff, the new kid could indicate that this tea was Oolong. “So What is it that you need?” Gregory asked, pouting a cup for himself.

 

The new kid turned around and opened their bag. They pulled out a Manila folder with Eric Cartnam’s name on it, handing it to the blonde. Craig remained standing, watching the new kid hand over the folder.

 

Gregory read the name, “Eric Cartman? I remember him from memories past.” He opened the file, and the first thing he was was the result sheet from the tests.

 

The new kid took a sip of the tea, making the most quiet sounds as possible. They watched as Gregory took more focus into reading it.

 

“This file doesn’t make sense,” Gregory pointed out, “There are test anomalies everywhere. Why is this file composed so differently?”

 

There was a knock on the front door, startling the new kid.

 

“Excuse me, let me greet our newest guest.” Gregory closed the file and walked over to the front door. He inspected himself before opening the door. Standing in front of him was a pale boy wearing a black T-shirt and gray pants. Their arms were exposed and strapped onto their back was a shovel. “Hello Christopher.”

 

“Gregory.” Christopher replied, “Good day to you.”

 

“It is certainly one.” Gregory let him in and closed the door behind him. “Douchebag, this is Christopher. Christopher , this is Douchebag.”

 

“Douchebag?” Christopher stared at the new kid, examining all of his features. “That’s an odd name your parents would name you.” Gregory gave him a cup of tea. “I like it.”

 

“And you remember Craig, don’t you.” Craig looked over and simply stared at the mole, indicating that they didn’t need any physical contact. Christophe nodded, and said, “I don’t believe we’ve met actually.

 

“Super.” Craig took his cup of tea and finally took a sip.

 

“Make yourself at home Christopher.” Gregory sat down and opened the file again. “New kid, where is form WS13G?”

 

The new kid walked over and pulled out a single sheet of paper with some information on it from the pile Gregory was looking.

 

“Just call me Christophe Gregory.” He walked over and sat down at the other side, with Gregory at the middle now. “And what is this?”

 

“Eric Cartman’s LGBT profile.” Gregory started placing sheets of paper that he already read through on the coffee table. “It seems like his tests are all rigged to fit a certain category, but something seems off.”

 

Gregory held a sheet of paper in the air, letting them both see. “See this? His personality test doesn’t match up with the results from this test. And his sexuality test score from section B in gender does not match the gender test’s sexuality test.” Gregory dug around the pile more and found a certain paper. “See, this paper shows that his test scores are now reflected on the grade delta Z axis.”

 

“What the fuck is happening?” Christoph asked.

 

“I need to calculate this.” Gregory told them. “It’ll take me a few hours though.”

 

“Gregory!” Christophe shouted, “You’re supposed to come with me on a covert operations mission!”

 

“Christopher, take the new kid with you,” Gregory said, not even looking up.

 

“What?” Christoph asked. Even the new kid perked up. Craig hadn’t moved.

 

“Christopher is a mercenary for hire,” Gregory explained, “A master at covert operations. You and him can help Gary three blocks down.”

 

“Gregory this kid is useless!” Christoph angrily replied. “He doesn’t even speak!”

 

“Christopher, listen to me. Douchebag isn’t any old chum.” Gregory stood up and walked over to present the new kid nicely. “Douchebag here is King Douchebag in the years of Zaron. They are also the known farting vigilante Butthole. And Christopher. They prefer they them pronouns.”

 

The New Kid looked at Gregory and simply nodded, accepting the mission. Gregory continued, “And Craig here also has abilities that may assist you in the mission.”

 

“Yeah. I punch things.” Craig announced, sipping the last amounts of his tea.

 

“It looks like they both want in. Very well.” Gregory bent down and pulled out a box from underneath the couch. The box contained a laptop, which he opened. The screen lit up and showed a PowerPoint presentation on the plan of action.

 

After showing the three the plans, Christophe finally agreed. “Fine! You can join me on my mission. Follow me.” And he angirly matched straight to the door.

 

“My apologies for Christopher,” Gregory told them, “He can be a bit timid at times.”

 

The New Kid rolled his eyes as he followed the kid outside.

 

* * *

 

Christophe, Craig, and the new kid were walking down the sidewalk, watching the sun almost setting in the sky. After studying the plan, the two moles and the farting vigilante made their way down to the downtown area.

 

“So...” Christophe started, “You... you don’t talk much?” The new kid spoke nothing, only walking behind him. Craig simply followed, not speaking either.

 

“This weather is nice...” Christoph spoke again, and again he didn’t receive a response from either of them.

 

Fed up, he turned around. “Look, I know you don’t fucking talk, but talk to me, god fucking damn it!”

 

The new kid was still not talking. They left a blank stare at Christophe.

 

“AHHHHH!” Christophe let go of the new kid andturned around. “I don’t understand why fucking Gregory would let you go on this!”

 

The new kid, finally fed up with Christoph’s attempt to not cooperate with him, decided to finally show his abilities. Looking around, he saw that they were about to cross a street. They stopped, and got into optimal farting position. Feeling the energy in his core gather, they... farted.

 

Christophe felt a blast of gas from behind him. At first, the gas from behind him made burning contact with his skin. The air immediately polluted around him, making it impossible for him to breathe. Christophe finally closed his eyes as a green light ensued around him, blinding him at the source.

 

When Christophe finally opened his eyes, trying to blow all the gas away with his hands, he thought he was seeing double. There was a second new kid.

 

“What the fuck was that about, Douchebag?” He asked. Then he stared at the second new kid. “And who the fuck is this?”

 

The second new kid got into a fighting stance, raising both of his fists.

 

“Is this-“ Christophe moved his head closer, observing the second new kid, “You?”

 

The second new kid smacked Christophe’s hand away from him. They angrily looked at Christophe before farting back into the past.

 

Christophe shielded his eyes when the blast of light shined. “Douchebag. That is actually pretty cool.”

 

The new kid smiled and guided Christophe silently to their destination.

 

* * *

 

The new kid and Christophe had arrived at their first location: Gary’s house. Christophe knocked on the door, and signaled the new kid to wait. The door opened, and revealed a blonde boy wearing a turquoise jacket, white shirt, and light blue jeans.

 

“Gary Harrison,” Christophe greeted, “you called for a special favor?”

 

Gary lifted a single finger, his index, and turned around. “Mom. Dad? I’ll be out for a few minutes.”

 

A woman’s voice shouted, “Don’t be out too long.”

 

Gary walked out and closed the door behind him. “Gregory- wait who’s this?”

 

“This is Douchebag.” Christophe introduced. “Gregory is busy tonight and requested him to join along.”

 

“Very well. My name is Gary Harrison.” Gary extended his hand, “I’m a Mormon.”

 

The new kid shook his hand. Christophe added him, “They don’t talk.”

 

“Oh- I see!” Gary straightened up when he saw Craig. “And you’re Craig right? You were there when I moved to South Park.”

 

“Yup.” Craig agreed. “I didn’t know you moved to North Park.”

 

“Our family decided to after Stan blew us off.” Gary looked around, checking the area before continuing, “Anyways, you two know what happened right?”

 

“There had been a bunch of faggots driving up North Park,” Christophe said. He turned around, barely seeing the tire track marks on the street tops. “I’ve been hearing them too. They’re so fucking annoying.”

 

The new kid watched as Christophe pulled out a cigarette. He lit it up and lifted the white tool to his lips. “What did they do to you?”

 

Gary turned his smile and positive attitude to a serious one. “They had been disturbing the happiness of my family. I can’t let them continue disrupting our town like this.” Gary took out a sheet of paper. “I’ve been tracking their movements. This is a map with their base on it. Follow it, and stop them.”

 

Christophe took the paper. “And you know what this means? If we get caught, we could possibly get grounded for two, maybe even three weeks.”

 

Gary looked at the pale boy in front of him. “Then... in God’s speed.” He smiled as he turned around and opened the door.

 

“Very well, new kid?” Christophe faced the new kid, “What are we waiting for?”

 

* * *

 

The three kids arrived at their destination: a restaurant called Country Kitchen Buffet. The parking lot was vastly empty except for the series of bikers standing with their motorcycles besides the entrance. The group of men kept making as many sounds as they could with their bikes, revving the engine and making loud sounds with their mouths.

 

“We’re here.” Christophe said, lifting the shovel from his back forward. “You remember what to do?”

 

Craig and the new kid jumped down from their hidden position and walked straight towards the source of the noise. As they got closer, the men revving the engines completely ignored them, simply focusing on their own group.

 

“Hey.” Craig called to them, trying to grant heir attention. The men kept revving their engines and paid no attention to the two kids.

 

“HEY FAGS!” Craig yelled, making everyone stop. The group of men turned and saw Craig with his middle finger up and the new kid, blankly staring at them.

 

“Just what the hell do you two kids want?” A large darker skin man asked. He still had his sunglasses on, but was somehow able to see the two. “Hey- I remember you!” He pointed to Craig.

 

“We called you fags.” Craig told them, still having his finger up.

 

“You guys changed the definition of fag!” The man angrily shouted. The other members of the biker group got up from their motorbikes and now were slowly crowding around the two kids. “You two got us to move out of South Park!”

 

Craig kept his middle finger up. “You guys were so such fucking fags.”

 

“We weren’t FAGS!” The large man moved in with a fist, targeting Craig. The first hadn’t connected, as a blue wall materialized in front of Craig.

 

The new kid moved down and softly patted the ground. Within seconds, a column of roots shot out of the ground and collided with all of the men in front of them. The bikers were all moved back, knocking into each other and into their motorcycles.

 

“We have to kill those fucking kids!” The large man yelled. The men started making the loud obnoxious yells again as they started walking closer to the two kids.

 

Meanwhile, Christophe was still at the hide-out spot. When he saw that Craig and the New kid had initiated battle, he quickly and quietly ran to behind the restaurant. He snuck over a dumpster and got himself a few feet away from the motorcycles.

 

Christophe took out a knife as he started cutting open the lids off the satchels hanging off the motorbikes. He knew that he was looking for information. A pamphlet, a map, anything that would tell him of their plans. As Christophe cut through a third bag, he heard growling from behind him.

 

Christophe slowly turned around and saw a dog black as night staring behind him. The beast exposed its white fangs, showing off its sharpened points. The rottweiler stood only a meter away from him, growling loudly at the boy.

 

“I fucking hate guard dogs.” Christophe yelled before taking his shovel out. The dog lunged forward, aiming itself at the boy’s arm. But Christophe was fast- with the distance between them he had enough time to slam the head of the shovel at the dog’s neck. The dog flew a few feet backwards, landing and rolling on the black top.

 

One of the men turned around and saw Christophe wielding his shovel. “Boys! There’s a spy!”

 

The men turned around and saw that Christophe had a paper in his hands. “GET THEM!”

 

Christophe immediately sprinted to the direction of the new kid and Craig. As the men were swinging their arms or pipes or whatever they could find, Christophe ran with all of the energy in his body. Not only was he avoiding the men, he was running away from the guard dog as well.

 

The new kid patted the ground and roots struck forward at the crowd. Christophe was able to safely pass it, jumping and landing on his arm. The roots however pushed the men and the dog back. Craig ran in front of Christophe and pulled his middle finger, summoning a shield for protection.

 

Christophe turned over to his back and opened the paper that he managed to pull. The boy was still in shock from the running and dodging that his mind wasn’t able to decipher its meaning immediately. As his vision became less blurry, words were making out.

 

The new kid summoned another set of roots, pushing the men back. Craig was able to punch the dog away, sending it into the crowd as well. Craig yelled, “What does the paper say?”

 

Christophe read slowly, taking his breathing into consideration. “This is… this is a flyer for depression therapy.”

 

The men stopped pursuing forward and Craig and the new kid had stopped their attacks.

 

“Yes,” the large man admitted, “It’s true. We’ve been looking for the depression office in North Park.”

 

“Depression?” Craig asked, “Why?”

 

“Don’t you see?!” he yelled at Craig, “Don’t you see how calling us faggots made us depressed about ourselves? Don’t you see how we hate being bikers!”

 

The three kids were surprised by that fact.

 

“Back a long time ago, I was divorced by my wife and left by my children.” The large man took a seat on the ground. “I didn’t have much money on me, so I was hitch riding across the country. And that’s when I found this gang of motorcyclists.” he gestured the men around him. “Turns out, I wasn’t alone. These men around me had been abandoned by our families and friends. And together, we’re Harley Riders.”

 

“So we all thought by doing this, we can create attention for men abandoned by their families and friends. We wanted to express how open and free we became, but somewhere along the way, we were called fags.” The men around him started tearing up. “Do you see why we’re looking for a psychologist?”

 

 

 

 

 

“You guys are back early.” Gregory told them, “I’m just about finished actually.”

 

Craig and the new kid took a seat on the long couch as the mole remained standing. Gregory took the seat on the single chair beside the sofa.

 

“I looked over everything on this file, and here’s where I found some flaws and mistakes. Eric Cartman took a bunch of personality tests, sexuality tests, and gender tests to see where he currently fits in the LGBT spectrum. Of course, this is an estimate, but all of these tests correlate with each other. New kid, you simply have graded this wrong.” Gregory found an empty sheet of paper and started drawing some squares and charts. “You have to tie these now, and with this, Eric Cartman is now correctly identified.”

 

Gregory gave him the sheet of paper, and the new kid read the paper. Their eyes widened at the results.

 

Eric Cartman's data was so obscure and unknown, the best conclusion was that he was so narcissistic he barely fit the conditions for gynesexual.

 

* * *

 

“FATASS!” Kyle screamed, “I know you’re using our money for Casa Bonita!”

 

“Shut up you JEW!” Eric shouted back, “I’ll fucking kill you!”

 

“If you kill me you won’t have your money!” Kyle screamed back, “We know how much you’ve been trying to deceive us!”

 

Tweek was hidden behind the wall shaking. He didn’t like arguments between people, let alone two people that were close.

 

“Kyle I’m having a fundraiser to raise awareness!”

 

“I know you really just wanted Casa Bonita for yourself!”

 

“Shut up Kyle!”

 

“OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH!” The two boys stopped screaming at each other and turned to the third person in the room: Wendy Testaburger. She had a sweeping broom and was wearing an apron. “I have had it with you two already!”

 

“Wendy, I-“ Kyle was immediately cut off when Wendy went to him first.

 

“You!” Wendy essentially stabbed her finger on Kyle’s nose. “You need to learn how to actually say no without causing a fucking war.”

 

“Haha.” Eric commented.

 

“AND YOU!” Wendy turned around, “YOU WANTED TO USE OUR MONEY FOR MEXICAN FOOD?”

 

“To be fair, it’s a Mexican Disneyland.” Eric told them.

 

“I don’t care if its a fucking Mexican Disneyland! The point is, YOU ARE USING OUR MONEY FOR YOUR SELFISH NEEDS!” Wendy pointed to the front entrance, which coincidentally Douchebag entered through.

 

“FINE!” Eric started marching towards the front door as Wendy ran back into her office. The new kid walked over to the offices, making sure the table was sticking out an inch more.

 

As he went towards the double doors of the exit, Eric didn’t noticed how close the small table in front of him was. He kept muttering to himself, but accidentally bumped into the table. On the table was a small potted plant, which tipped over.

 

The plant pot shattered on the floor, exposing the roots of the purple tulip.

 

“My flowers!” Tweek yelled. He dropped his mop and quickly ran over to the mess as fast as he can. “My tulip!”

 

“What’s going on here?” Wendy ran into the lobby from her office wearing a cleaning apron.

 

Eric told them, “I bumped into this table and I accidentally dropped this plant.”

 

Tweek tuned out Eric and used his gloved hands to scoop up the roots and the dirt of the flower. His fingers and arms were trembling from how energetic he was, causing small fragments of dirt to drop onto the floor. “My flower. My precious flower.”

 

At that moment, Craig has arrived at the Center. He opened the glass door and saw Tweek kneeling on the floor in front of Eric and Wendy.

 

“What the hell is going on here?” Craig asked in his usual voice.

 

Tweek turned around with the pile of flower and dirt in his hands. “Craig...”

 

At that moment, Craig had never felt more hurt in his life. Tweek has tears in his jade eyes. His gloved fingers were now holding up the remnants of the flower that the two of them were growing.

 

“Our... flower...”

 

“Dude, it’s just a flower.” Eric told them. “It’s no big deal.”

 

“NO BIG DEAL?” Tweek turned to Eric. “THIS IS MY CURING FLOWER!”

 

Confused, Eric asked. “Curing flower? what’s a curing flower?”

 

Kyle walked into the room, having finished inputting the request. Craig was now hunching over Tweek, patting his shoulder. He explained, “The curing flower was a flower that we grew together at the same time Tweek quit coffee.”

 

Kyle leaned to his left and whispered to Wendy’s ear. “I don’t think it’s called a curing flower.”

 

Wendy lightly smacked Kyle’s arm, “Shut up it’s super cute.”

 

“I said I was sorry,” Eric told them.

 

“You never apologized in the first place!” Tweek yelled back.

 

Wendy raised her hand, “I can confirm Eric didn’t apologize for his crime.”

 

Eric turned to her, “Shut up Wendy.”

 

“Don’t tell Wendy to shut up!” Craig yelled, “And say sorry to Tweek!”

 

“I don’t need to apologize for something that wasn’t my fault!”

 

“GAH! It’s your fucking fault man!”

 

“Eric you just admitted earlier it was your fault!”

 

“Shut up Wendy!”

 

“Hey don’t tell me to shut up!”

 

“It wasn’t me!”

 

At this point, Wendy, Tweek, and Eric had all been arguing, and Craig was not happy.

 

“EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Everyone has quieted down. “Kyle, fetch me a pot please.”

 

Kyle silently nodded and turned to the kitchen and storage area.

 

Craig walked up to Eric, and jabbed his finger at Eric’s left shoulder. “And you. Get the fuck out of the LGBT Center, or else I force you out.”

 

“Psh,” Eric brushed off, “You and what army?”

 

“Boys! Boys!”

 

Eric and Craig turned their heads to Wendy.

 

“I cannot tolerate you two fighting in the LGBT Center!” Wendy stomped her foot and pointed at the door. “If you two are going to act like Neanderthals then go outside.”

 

Craig pushes Eric told the door. “Get out. Now.”

 

Eric angrily muttered to himself as he left the building.

 

Craig looked down and saw that Tweek was now sitting and leaning against the wall with the flower in front of him.

 

Wendy tapped his shoulder and nudged her head at the blonde below. She turned around and went back to cleaning her office.

 

“Tweek?” Craig squatted down and sat on the floor. “Are you okay buddy?”

 

“Craig...” Tweek’s voice was a lot lighter now. His pitch was still as high as before, but the volume had dropped. “The flower is dying,”

 

“Kyle is already grabbing a pot.” Craig moved closer to the boy. “Is there anything else wrong?”

 

Craig looked at the flower in front of him now. The flower was just watered, so there was a mixture of dirty water and mud at the floor in front of him. The tulip petals were mostly intact to the flower center, but now were stained brown by the water. The stem had a crack, dropping the flower back to the floor.

 

“Craig,” Tweek asked, “Remember why we planted this flower?”

 

Craig smiles, “We were trying to beat the flower.” He wrapped his arm over Tweek, who happily leaned in on his shoulder. “We were trying to see if you could get rid of your coffee addition before the flower fully sprouted.”

 

“But Craig...” Tweek snuggled his head more into the Noirette’s blue jacket. “Did you ever realize the second meaning of the flower?”

 

Craig smile turned back to his normal face.

 

“The flower...” Tweek extended his arm and opened his fisted hand. He displayed all of his digits fanned out. “It also meant our relationship. It symbolized how we work together, and how we’re meant for each other.”

 

Craig remained silent, staring at the blonde’s pale and small fingers.

 

“We both work together to get me out of coffee. We both work together for run this place. And we both work together for our... love.” The two boys felt a small jittery feeling from the word. “So with the flower broken... could that mean-“

 

“Tweek.” Craig whispered. “The flower isn’t dead yet.”

 

Tweek smiles at the comment. “No, I was just thinking... does that mean anyone could end... us?”

 

Craig felt his heart drop.

 

“Could it also mean anyone could hurt one of us, and make the other hurt as well? Could it mean all of our work- our legacy- will be meaningless?”

 

Craig strengthen the hug he was giving Tweek. “Tweek, why are you thinking of such negative things?”

 

The blonde couldn’t think of an answer. His mouth of open, but no words had come out.

 

At that moment, Kyle walked into the lobby holding another flower pot big enough for the tulip. “Hey guys,” Kyle told them, “This is all I could find.”

 

Tweek accepted the pot and remained silent as Kyle walked into his office. Using his hands- after removing the gloves- he was slowly scooping the flower and the dirt back into the pot.

 

“Look Tweek.” Craig started, “The world is out to get us. And there’s nothing we could do about it. But,”

 

Craig moved forward and grabbed a scoop of dirt and dumped it into the pot. “It doesn’t mean we can’t still love each other.”

 

Tweek smiles as he picked up the flower, carefully holding the bottom of the stem and the split part.

 

“Tweek. I will always love you. I may not show it or express it like you do but I still love you.” Craig dug a small funnel in the center to allow Tweek to mount the flower back in the center. “Plus, we’re not in this alone. We have friends, the LGBT community, and we have our families helping us.”

 

Tweek patted the dirt around the flower and looked at the overall work. The flower was now back up and standing, but still dropping a bit from the split stem. Craig has moved the table back and Tweek placed the flower pot over a dish back on the table.

 

Tweek smiled one last time before turning around. “Thank you Craig.” He tiptoed and kissed Craig’s lips. His hands were at Craig’s cheeks, helping the small frail boy pull his partner closer to him. “That really means a lot to me.”

 

The new kid smiled as he was outside, observing the two love birds in the lobby. He had arrived after Eric left, but remained hiddened as Tweek and Craig were talking. Once Tweek twirled and ran off to Wendy’s Office, the new kid stepped into the lobby. He grabbed his phone and immediately texted the other person in the room before going to Kyle’s office.

 

Craig’s phone vibrated as he watched the new kid go into Kyle’s office. He read the text:

 

 

 

> Good job on comforting Tweek just now. You make a perfect boyfriend for him.

 

Craig texted back a simple thank you before heading into the supply closet for cleaning supplies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

> It's funny. Once you realize that once you fully commit to something, you realize how much you rely on it. 

 

 

 

> You realize how blinded you are by your own accomplishments and goals. You realize how much it blinds you from others- from society.

 

 

 

> But once you realize that you have people supporting you, you realize that maybe it was worth sacrificing everything.

 

 

 

> But to those who never realized it' those who realize that their change had not been for the better. Those are the ones who realize how much they fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may be wondering why these events seem so weirdly out of order, but don't worry. They'll make sense soon. Very soon. Just kidding this episode is actually missing parts that I had to move to next episode, so that will explain why it's a bit weird.
> 
> Fun fact: the person writing the quotes at the end of the two episodes aren't Tweek. Hehehe now think real hard on who would possibly write that.
> 
> Also, I may seem biased here, but I really don't see Eric ever attracted to guys- ever. So sorry Kyman or whatever is between Kyle and Cartman but ya trash. Okay that was way too harsh I'm just going to sit at my corner and cry.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading. I'll try to make the next episode seem like this one- out of order. Check me out on Tumblr at Negira1239SP. I "somewhat" post daily and I will talk to you guys if you guys want me to. I'll talk about Creek, Creek, Creek- did I mention Creek? Lol I'll talk about anything South Park related. Thanks guys, gals, and nonbinary pals.
> 
>  
> 
> -Negira


	4. Manbearpig 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> President Garrison finally arrived in town to see the new LGBT Center. But trouble arise as the kids discover that Manbearpig was spotted in South Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for the next installment of this series! Thank you everyone for reading, leaving comments, leaving a kudos, or simply reading.
> 
> If you guys didn’t notice, or really don’t care, I have a tumblr account that y’all can contact me with- Negira1239SP. Apparently, Negira1239 is taken (which isn’t mine surprisingly, but it’s my account name....). Anyways, if you guys are confused with the plot of this story, or where this story is going, go ahead and leave an ask on the blog. I also post random stuff that I find myself on there, so don’t be shy.
> 
> One last thing, I’m uploading this chapter at 3:00 am PST because I am traveling once again and I’m doing a mobile upload even though this chapter/episode has 8,800 words or so.
> 
> By the way I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy! Thank you guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
> 
> -Negira

The day started off bright and early as the town stood in front of the city hall.

 

“Hey fatass.” Stan lightly punched Eric’s shoulder, “Where’s Kyle?”

 

“Yeah,” Kenny muttered through his thick orange coat, “Where is he?”

 

“I thought he was at the gay club,” Eric pouted. “Find your boyfriend there.”

 

“Hey Stan,” the three boys turned their heads and saw Bebe Stevens at the side. “Have you seen Wendy?”

 

“I think she’s with Kyle at the LGBT Center.” Stan told her. “I thought everyone would be here today.”

 

Today in South Park was the day President Trash- I MEAN- Garrison was coming to town. The town made sure in preparation everything would go nicely and to schedule.

 

“Attention everybody!” An announcer said the announcer over a mike, “The President will arrive in a moment.”

 

“I got to get going,” Bebe told them. “If you find Wendy let me know.”

 

“Kay.” Stan waved good bye as Bebe disappeared in the crowd.

 

* * *

 

“GAH MY SHIRT ISN’T STRAIGHT.”

 

“Babe hold still so I can fix it-“

 

“MY SHOES ARE UNTIED GAHHHH THERE’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE-“

 

“Slow down honey I just fixed your shirt.”

 

The new kid smiled, watching Craig tie Tweek’s shoe laces. They were already ready with their outfit and their appearance; now he was waiting for Tweek and Wendy.

 

Kyle sat at the other couch, on his phone. “Have you guys seen Wendy?” He asked the guys.

 

“Wendy said,” Tweek shook, “She- she didn’t feel right. So she went to ch-change.” Craig tightened the laces together in a bow and Tweek jumped. “Gah- WHAT IF SHE’S IN TROUBLE?”

 

The new kid chuckled to themselves, seeing Tweek back in his panic stage. It had been a while since Tweek was this anxious and jumpy- they missed seeing Tweek like this. But they knew that seeing Tweek like that was so wrong.

 

“Wendy isn’t in trouble Tweek,” Craig stood up and immediately grabbed Tweek’s hand. “Let’s go. We have to go to the ceremony.”

 

“You’re right,” Kyle told them, “We need to be at the ceremony when President Garrison arrives. Wendy?”

 

Wendy walked out into the lobby wearing her hat back more. She had pulled the front strands back but forward on her head, making fake bangs. She also wore a jean jacket instead of her pink sweater. Wendy had become Wendell.

 

“Guys,” Wendell announced, “Call me Wendell for today.”

 

The new kid smiled and made the okay hand gesture.

 

* * *

 

Within minutes later, a black armored car drove and parked at the street in front of the city hall. A second car followed behind and a dozen men in Black tuxedos came out of it. They all rushed into formation, with one going to the back door of the first car.

 

The man opened the door to reveal President Garrison. He stood out of the car, face tanned and hair molded blonde and into a mop. His face was smug, as if he was already winning some sort of chess game.

 

The mayor of South Park stood in front of her office, her two assistants next to each other.

 

“Good day to you, Mr. President.”

 

“Hey Mayor,” the President greeted. “So. South Park is still the same huh?”

 

The citizens of South Park, who were all standing around the property, were watching the exchange.

 

“Well,” the Mayor said, “We actually had a few changes to the town.”

 

“Mayor, changing a few signs and repaving the roads does not count as changes.”

 

“President Garrison,” the Mayor raised her voice, “We opened a brand new LGBT Center here in South Park. Kids?”

 

The new kid, Kyle, Wendell, Tweek, and Craig all silently walked over to the Mayor.

 

“The LGBT Center here in South Park is partnered up with the Center in Denver, but these five kids are primarily in charge of running the place.” She patted the new kid, “This one came up with the idea.”

 

President Garrison stepped forward, standing a few feet away from the kids. He first went up to Craig, acknowledging his presence. “Craig.”

 

“President Garrison.” He spoke with his nasally voice.

 

“I didn’t expect you to be gay,” Garrison told him.

 

“It was a recent development.” He extended his right hand, and Tweek immediately grabbed it. The new kid tried their best to not react to it.

 

“Tweek? You’re with Craig?” Garrison asked. “Oh that’s right. The whole- yaoi thing.”

 

“Yeah.” Tweek blurred out.

 

President Garrison made his way past Tweek and went to Wendell.

 

“Wendy? Is that you?”

 

“Sir,” Wendell corrected, “I prefer Wendell today.”

 

“Are you transgender Wendell?”

 

“No sir. I’m gender fluid.”

 

“Gender fluid?” Garrison sighed, “Millenials today with their gender fluidity identities.” He then moved on to Kyle. “So are you gay too?”

 

Kyle raised his brow, “Umm. No. I’m asexual.”

 

Garrison rolled his eyes, “Sure you are.” He then moved on to the new kid. “Who the hell are you?”

 

The new kid raised their arm, not saying one word. Garrison shook their hand, “Umm... are you deaf or something.”

 

“Douchebag doesn’t talk,” Kyle told him.

 

“Kyle!” The Mayor yelled, “Don’t call the new kid a douchebag!”

 

“Mayor,” Wendell spoke, “They just like being called Douchebag and Butthole.”

 

“And Butt Stuff,” Craig joined in.

 

“That’s stupid.” Mr. Garrison turned to the five of them. “So where is this LGBT Center?”

 

“New Kid, Kyle,” Wendell called to them, “You guys go first. We’ll lead the president there.”

 

The new kid and Kyle calmly walked off into the street, and immediately dashed to the Center.

 

Wendell, Tweek, and Craig walked off stage for the Mayor to continue her speech on the growth of the town and its ability to follow up the changes. President Garrison seemed a bit more interested in the LGBT Center, specifically more on the New Kid.

 

“So who is this new kid?” President Garrison asked once he was indoors and off camera.

 

“The New Kid is just... the new kid.” Craig told him.

 

“So they’re new people from a different town?” Garrison asked.

 

“It’s from all of this gentrification in the town,” Wendell explained. “A lot of new people are in the town now thanks to PC Principal and the others.”

 

“PC Principal,” he said in almost a curse, “Of course he would be responsible for this.”

  
  
Meanwhile, the new kid and Kyle had arrived at the LGBT Center first. Kyle went to unlock the center doors as the new kid looked around the perimeter. After the rednecks protested, it had taken them almost two weeks for them to clean the whole building.

 

As the new kid looked around, they walked into the parking lot. The lot itself was very small- it only had 3 spaces plus 1 handicap space. They surveyed the walls of the center before stumbling upon something in the brush. The creature behind the brush was very large. It’s two eyes had no pupils, it’s yellow shade glaring at the New Kid. Douche bag couldn’t distinguish if it was some sort of person... or a bear.

 

The new kid slowly crept over to the hedge of green, closer to the creature. They approached with caution, both hands spotting the ground and their back straight.

 

Douchebag was a foot away from the brush, a foot away from whatever creature was lurking behind. They raised a hand, and then slowly... extended their hand into a hold.

 

“Douchebag!”

 

Started by the call, Douchebag slammed both hands on the ground, creating several roots to sprout from the ground below. The creature disappeared, appearing to have run off.

 

The new kid turned around and saw Kyle walking over to him. “Dude, what happened?”

Kyle remembered that he wouldn’t get a verbal response, so he immediately walked over to the brush. The new kid crawled over to the bottom of the hedge and used their hands to move some of the branches.

 

Behind the branches, on the dirt, was a pair of footprints.

 

Well... hooves.

 

“What the fuck?” Kyle squatted down and looked at the pair of track marks. “What the hell made this?” He asked, staring at the New Kid. “Well, whatever. We need to get the Center ready.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey,” President Garrison said, looking around the lobby. “This place looks pretty nice.”

 

The lobby was filled with select news reporters and presidential agents. Most reporters were sitting on the sofas with their camera people interviewing Wendell and Kyle, while the new kid, Craig, and Tweek, were with the president.

 

“So what the hell do you guys do here?” President Garrison asked.

 

“We help LGBT kids with their troubles,” Craig blatantly answered.

 

“You know Craig,” he turned to the child, “I didn’t expect you to be part of something this big.”

 

Craig answered back, “And I didn’t expect you to be part of something this big either.”

 

“Gah!” Tweek tightened his hold on Craig’s arm, “You can’t joke about his presidency in front of the fucking President!”

 

“Tweek,” Garrison rubbed his temples, “I wanted to ask why you sent cupcakes to the North Koreans.”

 

“Because you’re gonna start a war with North Korea!” Tweek screamed.

 

“You already nuked Canada,” Craig reminded him, “It’s not like nuking North Korea is that far away now.”

 

“Yeah you’re right.” Garrison then turned to the new kid, who was standing still, observing them. “And when did you come to town?”

 

No answer. The new kid simply starred into space, trying to distinctly remember what he saw earlier.

 

“Okay is the new kid stupid or something what the fuck is wrong with him?”

 

Tweek lightly tapped his shoulder, and the New Kid had shifted back to this reality. “Hey- New Kid.”

 

The new kid stared at Tweek before turning around and walking into the hallway to one of the offices.

 

“Geez,” Garrison broke the silence, “If he needed to take a shit then he should of said something.”

 

Craig raised his brow, staring at the new kid as they disappeared behind the wall. He knew something was up.

 

* * *

 

After President Garrison left to his accommodations, Kyle was in the lobby pacing. His eyes were set on the phone screen as he made laps around the table and couches.

 

“Dude,” Stan called him, sitting on one of the cushions, “Why are you so anxious?”

 

“I don’t get it Stan.” Kyle stopped and turned to Stan, handing him his phone. Stan looked at the screen and saw the two hooves marks on the ground. “What the hell made that?”

 

“It... it kinda looks like a pig,” Stan pointed out.

 

“But that’s... the thing was over six feet tall.” Kyle saw that the new kid came into the lobby. “New kid- you were there. Do you know what you saw earlier?”

 

The new kid only looked at him, tilting their head to the left. They lifted his shoulders, and lifted their arms.

 

“Wait wait wait.” Stan stood up, “It was six feet tall-“

 

“Over, six feet tall,” Kyle emphasized.

 

“And it had... pig hooves?” Stan asked.

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“And did you see its eyes?” Stan asked the new kid.

 

“The new kid just wrote yellow eyes on the white board over there.” Kyle pointed to the offices. “Stan... do you know what it is?”

 

“Kyle...” Stan faced his best friend, the new kid standing a few feet away from the interaction. “You... you don’t remember?”

 

“Remember?” Kyle asked, “What don’t I remember?”

 

Stan gulped, “Manbearpig.”

 

“Man bear pig?” Kyle asked.

 

_Man Bear Pig?_

 

“Kyle, remember Imagination Land?” Stan asked.

 

“I remember seeing myself suck Cartman’s balls.” Kyle answered.

 

_Wait what._

 

“No no- before that.” Stan walked over to his best friend, “You were hospitalized. Remember?”

 

“Stan. I have no recollection of how I got in that hospital bed.” Kyle turned to face the other way. “Cartman told me something happened with the portal and then I ended up in the hospital.”

 

_Portal? Okay. I’m done trying to keep up with this shit._

 

“Kyle,” Stan walked forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. Kyle turned around with Stan’s soft grip on his shoulder. “Manbearpig suffocated you... and then he went back into the portal.”

 

“Stan, what the hell are you talking about?” Kyle asked, infuriated by his explanation.

 

“Kyle, I was there.” Stan’s voice soften, his tone became more serious. “I saw Manbearpig grab you by your neck before I got sucked into the portal.”

 

“Dude... I..” Kyle tried to remember that day. He had been taken with Stan to the Pentagon because terrorists attacked the Imagination. They somehow opened the portal with the stupid song. Cartman broke through and forced him to suck his balls-

 

No wait. Something happened. Something happened that sounded the alarms. Something that made them both evacuate the room.

 

“I... I can’t remember.” Kyle told them.

 

* * *

 

Craig found himself once again with Tweek in the same room. “Tweek?”

 

“Yeah Craig?” Tweek had changed into his pajamas, now pulling the covers over him. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Not that I hate it, but this is the seventh day in a row Tweek. Why can’t I sleep in my own bed?” For the past week, Craig and Tweek had been having sleepovers at each other houses. Of course, their parents hadn’t minded as the boys never fooled around or broken any of their rules- so far.

 

Tweek responded, “We slept at your house yesterday.”

 

“That’s not the point.” Craig sat at the bedside, “Why do you want me to sleep beside you for a whole week?”

 

“Because we’re a gay couple?” Tweek asked.

 

“Is something bothering you honey?” Craig asked.

 

Tweek paused, looking at the window for an escape. When he peeked to his left, Craig was staring at him intensely, forcing him to turn back.

 

“Tweek. Is... something wrong?” Craig scooted in closer, wrapping his around the frail boy’s upper body. He held the blonde close, resting his chin on Tweek’s shoulder. “Babe, you can tell me anything.”

 

Tweek finally wrapped his arms around Craig’s waist. At first, Tweek was afraid of admitting it. He felt cold hearted and barren from holding secrets for anyone- especially Craig. But it was Craig that got him to open up. Craig’s warm body embrace helped sooth his mind, allowing him to simply... pause.

 

“I... remember... remember back a few weeks ago. I told you I had trouble sleeping?”

 

The two had let each other go of their embrace, but resumed their hand holding. “I thought it went away after we slept with each other this week.”

 

“Craig... The nightmares resumed when you weren’t with me.” Tweek didn’t even realize that he had tears coming out. “There was a monster... A monster that wants to kill me.”

 

Craig caught the blonde as Tweek bent his body forward, his head in front of Craig’s stomach. “Tweek, I’m sorry. I’m just... tired of going back and forth houses. That’s all.”

 

That wasn’t all. Craig was tired of watching Tweek’s interaction with his parents. It wasn’t horrible, but it seemed clearer and clearer everyday that Tweek’s parents don’t really care about him. In fact, several nights before, Tweek had told his parents that President Garrison was going to visit the LGBT Center. Richard, Tweek’s dad, changed the topic and told them that with the President coming into town, their coffee shop would reach more customers and more sales.

 

“Craig... If you want, you don’t have to sleep with me tonight,” Tweek admitted, “I know it’s tiring after doing it everyday- just take a break you know.”

 

“Tweek. You just admitted that you’re having nightmares and I stop the nightmares.” Craig bent down to his backpack and grabbed his pair of space pajamas. “There is no way I’m going home now.”

 

Tweek smiled as Craig left to the bathroom. Within five minutes time, Craig was fully changed and in bed with Tweek. “Good night honey. I love you.”

 

“Good night Craig.” Tweek smiled, “I love you too.”

 

And within minutes, Craig had fallen asleep. Tweek had always found Craig sleeping fascinating. He was able to sleep instantly, and he had a light snore. The best part was that sometimes, his mouth was open, and he could hear Craig talk almost. It was light, but sometimes it was helping.

 

Tweek closed his eyes, and within moments, Tweek was able to reach the point of no-return: sleep. His mind blanked out, a bright light flashing before him.

 

An illusion popped into the frame, along with a loud scream. “Tweek!”

 

Tweek found himself unable to move- his body had been restrained by shackles.

 

“Tweek! Help me!” the voice of Craig called upon him. Tweek turned his head to see the beast once again. It was gigantic; it had claws and it had height.

 

Turning his head lower, Tweek saw Craig on the floor in front of him, simply crying. “Save yourself-“

 

The beast roared as it landed one claw swipe across Craig’s small body. The head exploded in front of him- blood, guts, and pieces flying everywhere.

 

“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Tweek opened his eyes and screamed at the top of his lungs.

 

“JESUS CHRIST!” Craig was so alarmed about the loud noise next to him he had rolled off the bed.

 

“CRAIG!” Tweek screamed, finding his boyfriend on the floor, still covered somewhat in the blanket. “GET AWAY THE MONSTER IS COMING TO GET YOU!”

 

“Tweek calm down!” Craig stood up and climbed up Tweek’s bed. He wrapped his arms around the blonde, muttering, “It’s okay Tweek. I’m here.”

 

“CRAIG!” Tweek kept screaming, each scream becoming less and less loud. “CRAIG! CRAIG! CRAIG. CRAIG. Craig! Craig!” Tears started coming out of Tweek’s eyes, his face now embedded in Craig’s shirt.

 

“Craiggggggg,” he sailed, tugging on the fabric of Craig shirt.

 

Craig himself was quiet the whole time. Of course he was quite scared of Tweek screaming and pounding his chest. But another construct had fathomed him the most-

 

Tweek was not safe in his sleep anymore.

 

* * *

 

“Kyle what the hell are you doing?” Stan asked.

 

Kyle and Stan were walking around the LGBT Center after the two decided to go to Stark’s Pond for a night time round of ice skating.

 

“Stan,” Kyle told him, “I don’t believe Manpigbear is real.”

 

“The name is Manbearpig and yes he is real.” Stan saw the brush behind the parking lot had shook.

 

“Can it Stan!” Kyle ignored the brush. “I just wanted to see if the foot prints are still there.”

 

Kyle walked over to the parking lot, with Stan following him, and went back to the spot the new kid had been at earlier. He bent down and moved the branches, seeing once again the footprints he took pictures of.

 

“See anything?” Stan asked.

 

“Hang on.” Kyle looked around and saw that the hooves prints actually went right. “Dude. There’s a trail:”

 

“A trail?” Stan asked.

 

“Yeah, I see it-“ Kyle stuck his head in the hole a bit and saw that the trail had ended short. A pair of white hooves were in front of him, each leg being extremely thick and muscular. Kyle froze as he slowly looked up, seeing the pair of legs become hairy and hairier until a patch of brown fur was at the abdomen. Looking higher, the creature’s entire right half was doused with fur and the left side was... skin.

 

“AHHHHH!” Kyle screamed. The creatures roared as it dropped its arm on the white boy. Stan was able to pull Kyle out of the whole before the creature got out of the brush.

 

The head of the creature, the face of it, was coaxed with fur. It had two bear ears, a snout, fangs, red blood doused over the left half, and a left pig ear.

 

“Manbearpig!” Stan yelled.

 

The creatures roared before running off. It sprinted away, retreating back into the South Park forest.

 

“Kyle we’re safe.” Stan took a knee and sat beside the Jewish boy. Kyle’s face had turned blank at the sight of Manbearpig. His eyes had widened, their pupils dilated. His jaw was wide open, large enough for a fly to fly in. “Kyle? Kyle?”

 

Kyle was still silent, the sound of him breathing the only noise he was emitting. Stan shivered, realizing that the temperature around them was dropping. “Kyle? Are you okay?”

 

“Stan,” Kyle whispered.

 

“Kyle? Kyle are you okay?”

 

“Stan.”

 

“I remember it.”

 

* * *

 

“New kid,” Wendy asked, “What is it?”

 

Wendy had found the new kid staring outside the window. They had sat there for about a few dozen minutes, simply looking outside the window.

 

“New kid?” She walked over and tapped their shoulder. “New kid.”

 

The new kid was completely surprised by Wendy tapping their shoulder. They jumped by the sudden touch and almost fell onto the floor.

 

“New kid, I never seen you so shook. What happened?” Wendy helped the new kid stand up. “Did something happen?”

 

The new kid shook their head vertically.

 

“Did you hurt yourself?”

 

The new kid shook no.

 

“Did you see something?”

 

The new kid shook yes.

 

“What did you see?”

 

The new kid was completely quiet.

 

“New kid what did you see? Was it something bad?”

 

They shook yes.

 

“Was it dangerous?”

 

They shook yes.

 

“Was it a bear?”

 

Umm. They shrugged, suggesting that they didn’t know what it was.

 

“What the hell did you see?” Wendy turned around and saw that Stan and Kyle had entered the center.

 

“Hey Wendy,” Stan greeted, “We heard you screaming outside. What happened?”

 

“The new kid said they saw something last night,” Wendy told them, “And it’s hard to ask what it is.”

 

“New kid,” Kyle stepped up. “Was it the thing from yesterday?”

 

The new kid nodded yes.

 

“Wait,” Wendy asked, “You guys saw something yesterday?”

 

“Wendy,” Stan joined in, “We saw it again last night.”

 

The new kid got up and approached the three kids.

 

“It? You guys saw it?” Wendy asked again, “The fucking clown?”

 

“Clown?” Stan argued, “No not fucking Pennywise. No we saw something scary last night.”

 

“We-we were at the parking lot last night.” Kyle told them, “We were going to the pond... but I went to check if it was there again.”

 

“Again?” Wendy asked. “Wait- you saw it twice?”

 

The new kid realized something and grabbed their phone.

 

“Yeah I saw it before Garrison arrived and then I came back last night,” Kyle continued rambling, “It was big and it was hiding behind the giant hedge. You tell her Stan.”

 

“Stan what the hell did you guys see?”

 

“Umm,” Stan gulped, “We saw Manbearpig.”

 

“Man-bear-pig?” Wendy sounded angrily confused. “You guys saw a thing called MANBEARPIG? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?”

 

“Wendy calm down-“

 

“STAN YOU SAW A FUCKING MANBEARPIG!”

 

“Wendy,” Kyle joined in, “Manbearpig is real and it’s half man, half bear, half pig-“

 

“Kyle listen to yourself!” Wendy turned to him, “You literally just said three halves! That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

 

The new kid tapped Wendy’s shoulder. She turned around, her hair flipping around her face. “WHAT!” The new kid ducked down, raising their hands in defense.

 

“Oh shit- New kid! I’m sorry.” She bent down to help them up, but then she noticed something on the screen.

 

On the new kid’s phone screen was a video. The new kid lifted the phone, giving it to Wendy. She held it sideways as she tapped the video to play.

 

The video consisted of security footage of Stan and Kyle browsing around the parking lot. Kyle approached the giant hedge and stuck his head inside. Then a loud roar erupted and Stan pulled out Kyle out of the hedge hole. The bush next to it moved and a giant creature came out. The creature known as Manbearpig appeared in front of them, before running off.

 

Wendy cried, “Jesus Christ what the hell was that?”

 

The new kid got their phone and locked it, putting it away in their pocket.

 

“That... that was Manbearpig,” Kyle told her. “And it’s in South Park.”

 

Wendy turned to Kyle and Stan. “Look. Guys. Garrison is coming in a few minutes. We need to keep this off the grid.”

 

Kyle told Wendy, “We’ll try everything we can to keep this quiet.” He looked to Stan and the New Kid, who nodded as well.

 

* * *

 

Garrison walked around the LGBT Center office where Wendy was working, inspecting the area. “So. Is this where all the gays fuck?”

 

Wendy looked up, “No. This is my office.”

 

“Oh... how boring.” Garrison looked around, and looked out of the window.

 

In the lobby, Tweek was trying to take his nap while Craig was grabbing him his things.

 

“Craig, I don’t need two blankets.” Tweek watched as Craig grabbed two small blankets from the closet.

 

“Tweek. One of them is for you.” Craig draped a blanket over Tweek, making sure it incased all of him. “I get a blanket too.”

 

Tweek watched as Craig sat down next to him. “Craig, you have work and Garrison is here-“

 

“Tweek.” Craig helped him lie down on the couch, “Just go to sleep. I’ll wake you up in an hour.”

 

Tweek smiled and closed his eyes. Even though his head was on the pillows, he made sure the top of his head was touching Craig’s thigh.

 

Craig smiled calmly at the blonde’s action. His left hand went to his scalp, his finger tips fishing through the strands of yellow hair. He knew Tweek loved getting little scratches to his head- it reminded him of Stripe #4 back home.

 

Without him realizing, Craig had suddenly become dreary and had fallen asleep as well. He laid his body against the couch back, leaving his hand in the facility of Tweek’s hair.

 

 

* * *

 

Toolshed, HumanKite, and Buttlord were outside at the parking lot. With the President of the United States inside the Center, the parking lot was filled with black cars. The three were still wandering around the parking lot, going around the cars to go back to the hedge.

 

The three kids had decided to go against Manbearpig with their superhero personas. After all, if it was them three battling against something that’s half bear, half man, and half pig, they should at least be able to use their powers.

 

“Dude,” Toolshed saw the hole once again, “the hole is still there.”

 

Buttlord went first and stuck their head into the hole. HumanKite and Toolshed watched as the Buttlord went in... and went out. They shrugged, letting them know they didn’t see anything.

 

“Wait...” HumanKite walked over, “he- he isn’t there?”

 

“So then where did Manbearpig go?” Toolshed asked.

 

“He-he ran over to the forest yesterday,” HumanKite pointed out.

 

“But it doesn’t make sense,” Toolshed thought, “Why would Manbearpig want to do with the LGBT Center?”

 

Buttlord stood up and looked around the parking lot. With the lot filled with three cars- two next to each other and one parked on the other side, Buttlord walked to the center of the parking lot and looked around. Buttlord faced the direction of where the hedge is and noticed that the rest of the property behind of the school was a patch of trees and forestry. They walked out off the parking lot and went around the fence to the other side.

 

On the other side, the ground had been dug out and ravaged. The trees were mostly broken and torn down around the fence as well. Buttlord looked around the decimated area, looking at the destroyed states of nature around them. They looked around, walking around the ravaged ground. Flowers were trampled over; branches were broken.

 

Buttlord spun around, taking everything they see around them. They didn’t even realize that they had stepped on a branch. The snap of the branch was loud, setting off a reaction in the ground. The ground shook dramatically, making Buttlord hold onto a broken tree for support. In the middle of the ravaged ground, the ground had cracked and exploded into the air.

 

Stan and Kyle had ran over from the parking lot next door and found Buttlord holding onto a tree for standing support. “Buttlord,” Stan yelled as he dropped to the ground, “What the hell is going on?”

 

Buttlord dashed to where Stan and Kyle were standing and dove down.

 

In the LGBT Center, the ground was shaking around there as well.

 

“Is- is this an earthquake?” Garrison asked. “It feels like an earthquake.”

 

“Everybody get down!” Wendy commanded. Everyone followed and hid underneath tables and furniture as the shaking continued.

 

Buttlord turned around and saw the horrible enemy in front of him. Dirt flew from the ground, and erected a giant hairy arm. The arm was thick and heavily muscular with claws.

 

The ground erupted once more and revealed Manbearpig’s head. The monster roared as it lifted itself from its hole.

 

* * *

 

The earthquake had been very light on the center, as Tweek was somehow now awoken by this. Instead, Craig woke up as everyone was going to the lobby.

 

“Sir!” An agent called to the president. “Our sources tell us that-“

 

“SHHH!” Craig shushed, pointing towards sleeping Tweek.

 

The man apologized and whispered, “There’s something in the perimeter that’s caused the earthquake.”

 

“Oh geez,” Garrison whispered, “What caused the ground shake then?”

 

“Sir- you won’t believe this,” the agent went to his ear and whispered, “It’s Manbearpig.”

 

“Manbearpig?” Garrison said out loud. The agent shoved his arm and covered Garrison’s mouth. “Quiet sir!” The agent whispered.

 

Wendy kept her head in her office, ease dropping in the conversation.

 

“Manbearpig was a monster that Al Gore thought up of in the Imagination that became real,” the agent explained, “I don’t know why but it’s here in South Park.”

 

“Then what the hell are we doing?” Garrison asked, “Why don’t we kill it?”

 

“Sir!” Another agent came into the room. Craig angrily flipped him off, pointing at the asleep Tweek. He went closer and told the two, “Apparently, there are superheroes already outside.”

 

“Outside?” Wendy thought. She quietly went to the window that lead to the parking lot and saw the head of Manbearpig outside over the hedge. Looking to the side of the hedge where the street was, she saw the small trail of string tugged by a kite. “HumanKite!”

 

* * *

 

Manbearpig roared as its body fully emerged from the ground. The three superheroes, HumanKite, Toolshed, and Buttlord, all stared at the incredible monster, preparing their attacks.

 

“We need to keep that thing away from Garrison!” HumanKite shouted, “He shan’t know about this!”

 

“Shan’t?” Toolshed asked. “Really, a heroic quote and you yelled shan’t?”

 

“Shut up Toolshed,” HumanKite raised his two fists, “Focus on the main objective here.”

 

[For this battle, I had made up moves Manbearpig uses based off his attack from Phone Destroyer; the Imagination Land trilogy; and from Al Gore’s attacks in Stick of Truth.]

 

The battle in the grass was a 5x9 plane with Manbearpig at the very left column but middle row spot. The three kids were at column 8 and stood next to each other in rows 2,3, and 4 with Toolshed, Buttlord, and HumanKite respectively.

 

Manbearpig roared as it walked over three spaces and used it’s first attack, Thrash. The beast slammed both of its fists onto the ground, attacking anything in a 2x3 space in front of him. The three kids had been thrown into the air, each taking damage.

 

Buttlord got up first and used their first attack, Root Burst. They patted the ground, summoning various roots to sprout through the air, piercing the enemy in front of him. Manbearpig roared as he was knocked back a space, falling on the ground.

 

“Nice hit Buttlord!” HumanKite yelled as he threw his kite in the sky. The kite struck the ground in front of Buttlord, and a blue shield appeared, creating a small barrier around them. The kite launched back up and returned to HumanKite. “Manbearpig is bleeding!”

 

Toolshed went forward from where he was and went one space to the right. Using his attack called Spiral Power, he stuck his drill into the ground, creating drills in diagonal patterns in the ground. One spiral hit MBP and stuck him.

 

Manbearpig used his right hand to lift himself up from the damage. When he lifted his knee to help lift himself, a small light struck and sparkled his right hand. Manbearpig, from the off balance, fell to the ground again.

 

“Where did that come from?” Toolshed asked. The three kids then received a notification from their phones. They all took their devices out, reading the new message that popped up.

 

Call Girl had texted them, “I’m here to help!” She then sent a gif of herself doing her battle stance.

 

Manbearpig roared again as he got up, moving two spaces; he was now in front of Buttlord. He used his right hand and sent a slash with his claws forward at the new kid. It created heavy damage and knock back; Buttlord was sent a space away, making him at the very end now. “Buttlord,” HumanKite shouted, “You’re bleeding!”

 

Buttlord moved two spaces to the left and a space forward, making them diagonally left in front of Human Kite. From there, they patted again and used Root Burst, sending Manbearpig back a space.

 

“I got you Buttlord!” HumanKite moved a space forward and jumped in the air, spiraling around as he created a small draft. Using his Kite Shield, he sent a kite to the New Kid, giving him tremendous protection.

 

“Now it’s my turn.” Toolshed walked to the space diagonally behind Manbearpig and used his Spiral Power once again. Manbearpig roared in agony as he was it again with the golden sprouted spiral.

 

And again, from the distance, Call Girl used her Phone Destroyer ability to attack Manbearpig.

 

“His defense is lowered!” HumanKite pointed out.

 

Manbearpig went a space to the right and used Thrash once again. HumanKite and Buttlord were thrown into the air from the ground shaking. They both landed on their rear ends, taking massive damage.

 

Buttlord turned around and saw that HumanKite was already low on health. Grinding their teeth, Buttlord had to make through with their plan. They went a space forward, and turned around, sending another Root Burst. Manbearpig was sent forward, but this time with HumanKite in the way to intercept. He sent a fist forward, punching the giant beast back.

 

On his turn, HumanKite moved a space forward and diagonally right, making him aligned on the same column as Manbearpig and the new kid. He used his Kite Shield again and gave Buttlord more health.

 

Toolshed moved to the space on the third column and fourth row. “You guys need to heal!” He brought out a fan and his drill and used another special ability- Revitotron 9000. The AOE effect spread over to Buttlord and HumanKite, healing them both and curing them of their current status effects.

 

And as expected, Call Girl’s attack reached Manbearpig as they received damage and an additional defense down.

 

Manbearpig roared as he went to the space on column four and row four- in front of Toolshed and diagonal from Buttlord and HumanKite. Manbearpig then picked up Toolshed and roared in his face, intimidating the small gadgeteer.

 

Toolshed screamed as he was being held in the air by the man-hand of Manbearpig. “Someone help me!” He shouted as Manbearpig lifted his right hand.

 

From his left hand, a sparkle appeared and exploded. Manbearpig roared, letting Toolshed go and fall on the ground. Buttlord faced towards the creature’s direction and used Rootburst, sending the beast towards the side hedge. With the beast in front of him, HumanKite made his first attack- Laser Burn. His eyes lit up as a ray of lasers were sent forward, hitting Manbearpig’s right arm. Toolshed, who was still on the ground, trying to breathe, spiked his drill for Spiral Power once again.

 

Manbearpig staggered around before falling over the hedge, destroying the grass fence and landing on top of the trunk of a car.

 

“Shit!” HumanKite yelled, “He broke the fence!”

 

“Buttlord bring him back!” Toolshed yelled, “We can’t risk this!”

 

Buttlord nodded and moved directly in front of Manbearpig to use their secondary attack- Dragon Reversal. Using stored up energy, the hero was able to spring forward past Manbearpig and kick him back over the fence. They landed over a government vehicle, finding balance so they don’t tip over.

 

Manbearpig, being tired of being tossed around, sent his loudest roar- which was slightly louder than his other roars. The creature faced the child over the car and used his final ability. The beast fully released his claws on his right arm as he started thrashing forward- destroying anything in his way. The small hero was able to jump off the car before Manbearpig trampled over the government car- and the one parked directly on the other side of the car- and into the LBGT Center.

 

The LGBT Center wall came down as Manbearpig sent punches and scratches on its cement and wood filled walls. The government agents, along with President Garrison, hid as the creature essentially tore a hole its size into the center. It searched the lobby, looking for new prey, and spotted two new victims.

 

Craig was standing on the couch facing the giant disturbing creature in front of him. With Tweek next to him- he had slipped ear plugs into his ears because of the noisy government agents in the room- he was prepared to do anything to keep the boy he loved safe.

 

_Hmm, ‘the boy I love_ ,’ Craig thought, _I like it_ ,

 

Craig lifted his middle finger at the giant creature, drawing its attention. “Come get me bitch!”

 

The beast was enraged at the gesture, roaring as it entered the facility.

 

“Craig!” HumanKite yelled. “Don’t do it!”

 

Craig completely ignored him as he felt the reminiscing blocking shield form in front of him.

 

The creature lurked forward, each step trampling and creating a hole into the center floor, and ripped through the couch. A sparkle formed at the face of the creature, exploding in his face. “Craig!” Wendy yelled, on her phone, “Get out of there!”

 

Craig completely ignored her as he still lifted his finger up.

 

The beast still went forward, now only a single meter away from the Noirette.

 

“Craig!” HumanKite was able to chuck his kite horizontally. It drifted into the hole of the wall and flew around as the current in the room was nonexistent. Craig grabbed the kite and stabbed it on the couch to his left; instead of him, the kite granted protection on the blonde boy sleeping.

 

“Hmm?” Tweek felt a small tingle on his body as he received protection from Human Kite. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, feeling something odd in his ears.

 

“Tweek-“ Craig forgotten that the Human Kite shield would create a sensation enough for him to wake up, “-go back to sle-“

 

Manbearpig extended his left arm and grabbed the boy at his neck. Craig was lifted into the air, a few feet into the air.

 

Tweek rubbed his eyes as he couldn’t believe what he was seeing- Craig flying in the air. He sat up and saw that a white muscular arm was dragging him up. He slowly turned his head as he saw that the arm belonged to a giant creature. The creature roared at Craig, exposing his spiky white teeth and his giant mouth. Tweek was speechless, observing the giant creature.

 

The creature had fur in all sorts of spots. It had hooves instead of feet; it had a small tail; it had a muscular arm; it had a furry claw arm- that was now being lifted into the air!

 

Tweek jaw dropped as the image of this beast was so... familiar. The giant body...

 

The features of a pig... the claws and fur of a bear...

 

 

And the altercations of a man.

 

“JESUS CHRIST!” Tweek screamed, “AHHHHHH!”

 

The beast saw the blonde boy on the couch below and turned his head to face him directly. Tweek could see the pupiless- yellow filled eyes of anger. He could see the blood stained snout and the numerous sharp teeth in his mouth. he could see the amount of scratches and tears on the creature- and how that creature was now coated in blood. The creature opened his jaw and roared- sending several droplets of drool directly at his face.

 

Tweek could feel the gush of air being blown directly at him. He could feel his blonde lion’s mane being slicked back by the forces of air. Tweek, who had just screamed, had just been muted. The beast snarled as he turned back to the boy who was still being hung by his neck.

 

The beast tossed the choking boy into the air before using his right hand/claws to swipe him. The claws intercepted his clothes for the most part- but they didn’t exactly cut through Craig. The claws instead sent Craig flying. The boy flew into a shelf on the other side of the room. He was immediately knocked out, blood coming from all sorts of places of his body.

 

Tweek looked at the boy across the room. Craig’s body had broken the bookshelf, causing the structure to cascade forward. His body draped along the wall on the floor; a small pool of blood expanding around him. Craig’s face was now pale, his eyes closed and his mouth barely open; blood slowly oozing out. His hat had also fell off, exposing his oily black hair. Tweek could even see the small gray patch that Craig never exposed to anyone.

 

“Craig,” Tweek called out, trembling at the sight. “Craig?”

 

No answer.

 

“Craig?” Tweek called again.

 

No answer.

 

“CRAIG!!!!” Tweek yelled at the top of his lungs. He dashed over there, using his strength to move the shelf aside.

“CRAIG!” The shelf was thrown off and Tweek ran to the side of his head. “Craig!” He laid Craig’s head on his lap, calling it once more. “CRAIG!”

 

Wendy grabbed her hat and tugged it down, trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

 

“Craig!”

 

“Craig!”

 

“CRAIG!”

 

Manbearpig took this opportunity to slowly approached Tweek. It was a foot away from him, looking at the small blonde boy.

 

“CRAIG!” The blonde kept screaming. “CRAIG!”

 

The creature lifted its right arm into the ceiling.

 

“CRAIG! CRAIG!”

 

Manbearpig roared once more, calling Tweek’s attention. The blonde looked up, revealing his crying green eyes to the monster in front of him. He swung his right arm down, extending his claws to decapitate the blonde.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But nothing happened. 

 

The creature hand had been swung down, but it had stopped to a root.

 

Manbearpig turned around and saw that Buttlord, Toolshed, HumanKite, and Call girl were in front of him.

 

“You... you monster!” Call Girl yelled. “You- you will pay for this!”

 

Call Girl ran forward, extending her selfie sticks. She jumped up and whacked the creature with both sticks before backflipping again. She then jumped higher, slamming both sticks into Manbearpig.

 

Toolshed attacked afterwards, sparing no time for Manbearpig to recover. He spared no expense on his next attack as he pointed his drill into the air. He charged forward to be in front of Manbearpig before pointing his drill to the creature’s face. The drill needle quadrupled in size, spiraling and spinning at an extreme rate. The needle was pushed and shoved into the creature’s face; causing him to stagger backwards into the wall.

 

Buttlord focused as he squatted down. Charging the amount of energy into his asshole, the kid farted and caused the flow of time to stop. Buttlord rarely used their time farts after defeating Mitch Connor, as for some reason s body ached harder than before after using them. But he would save the farts for special occasions.

 

With time paused, Buttlord was able to pull Tweek and Craig away from harm’s way before he was placed back in his original spot.

 

HumanKite, seeing that Tweek and Craig had magically disappeared, used his Kite Laser on Manbearpig’s feet. The creature staggered backwards and fell on his back.

 

Buttlord nodded to Call Girl and ran outside. Call Girl took the notice and ran towards the beast once more with her two extended selfie sticks.

 

“This is for ruining my Center!” She whacked the creature’s face once. “This is for Craig!” She whacked the creature once more. Backflipping back, she yelled, “And this is for TWEEK!” She spun around and used both selfie sticks to hit the creatures face. The two sticks broke upon impact, the creature getting force from the left so hard the creature fell to the right, shaking the ground.

 

“Okay! It’s clear!” the agents around Garrison ran forward, aiming their guns at the unconscious creature. “Manbearpig is down! I repeat! Manbearpig is down!”

 

“Call in an ambulance!” another agent shouted into his walkie-talkie. “We got a-“ The agent turned around and saw that HumanKite had placed his hand on his shoulder.

 

“No need,” HumanKite told him, “Look outside.”

 

All the agents looked outside as Buttlord was standing in the middle of the parking lot. The kid walked around and was lifting and dropping both of their hands.

 

“What is he doing?” The agent asked.

 

No one answered him, because the kid was able to summon the giant stalk. They waved both arms up, and the ground erupted below him a giant green stalk. The stalk sprouted and sprouted into the sky. It was about a meter in radius as it reached into the clouds of the sky.

 

At the top of the stalk was a giant naked and green woman (who I must say resembles Martha Stewart in SP but I think is really Mother Gaia or some goddess). She squatted, and out of her ass ( I hope it’s her ass and not her vagina because that would be considered queefs that help them not farts) came a rainbow shower. The shower was powdery as it slowly fell from the sky like snowflakes.

 

Toolshed came around and pointed his fan towards the center, aiming the powder substance into the building through the hole. The powder went everywhere, dropping and absorbing itself into the floor.

 

“What is this stuff?” The agent said. A small powder landed on his hand and it absorbed into him.

 

“This is health from the Mother Gaia.” Call Girl told them. “The new kid- I mean- Buttlord, was able to summon a goddess that blesses everyone with health.”

 

The agents and heroes watched as the powdered collected around Craig. The rainbow substance formed a small circle around the fallen boy, slowly forming a small draft around him.

 

Tweek opened his clenched eyes, and watched the powder collect around him. He looked around, seeing a rainbow cascade around him. He smiled, lifting his hand up for a small sample to absorb into his hand.

 

“Guys!” Toolshed told everyone, “look!”

 

Everyone watched as the powder in the ground was now creating a rainbow trail to Craig. The trail combined with the powder circling Craig, and the the cascade grew. Tweek watched as the powder circling him and Craig disappeared into the ground; the small piles forming were now slowly decreasing in size until there was no more.

 

Everyone was silent until they heard a cough. Tweek smiled as Craig started coughing on his lap. Craig’s face was restored with color and hue; his body no longer bleeding or broken.

 

“Craig!” Tweek lifted the boy enough for him to hug. “Craig! You’re alive!”

 

Craig was unable to speak, as he was unable to breathe. He sat up correctly and attempted to pry Tweek’s arms off him. “Br... breathe.”

 

Tweek let go of his arms as Craig fell forward, panting for breathe. “Don’t... don’t choke me again.”

 

Everyone laughed as Tweek crawled over, hugging Craig gently.

 

* * *

 

Within the next few days, the LGBT Center was fully repaired and reopened to the public. The wall that Manbearpig tore down was fully patched, repaired, and now had a window overlooking the parking lot. The bookshelf that Craig was thrown into was also repaired too, but was permanently stained with a dark red color.

 

Manbearpig was taken by the Secret Services to a special government facility over in a secret location. They even took care of covering the case to the media, blaming the hole in the wall an accident caused by a baking soda volcano accident.

 

Tweek had also stopped having nightmares too. After seeing Craig being thrown across the room and almost killed by Manbearpig, Tweek had stopped having nightmares that kept haunting him at night.

 

“Craig,” Tweek whined, “I don’t need you to sleep with me tonight.”

 

Craig smiled and tossed his pillow to the open spot on the bed. “Well, I kinda have to tonight.” He walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Stan, Kyle, Wendy, and the new kid fully dressed in pajamas.

 

“Wait- what’s everyone doing here tonight?” Tweek asked.

 

“We all came to sleep over, silly.” Wendy walked in first and observed Tweek’s room for the first time. Craig explained to her beforehand that the room was messy and that he would do his best to clean the space enough for them, but truth be told she thought the room wasn’t that bad. In fact, the room was pretty cute to her.

 

“Yeah,” Stan told him, “Craig told us that you were having nightmares before.”

 

“But I don’t have them anymore-“

 

“Tweek,” Kyle joined in, “But we’re here to make sure you don’t have anymore of them.”

 

The new kid smiled at the new kid, plopping down in front of the closet.

 

“You guys...” Tweek smiled as Craig climbed on the bed.

 

“Awwww,” Wendy and the new kid squealed as Craig draped the covers over them. “That’s so cute,” Wendy commented.

 

“Shut up,” Craig said, flipping her off. She didn’t even care as she took a picture.

 

“Wait,” Kyle noticed, “New kid, do you like Tweek and Craig?”

 

The new kid smiled and tapped on Wendy’s shoulder. When she turned her head, the new kid showed her their phone and pointed at it. She winked, making sure she would send the pic to them.

 

“Kyle,” Wendy told him, adding the new kid’s phone number to the list of receivers, “It’s called #Creek. And yes. The new kid and I love #Creek.”

 

“Isn’t that kinda creepy?” Stan asked, setting his head down between Wendy and Kyle’s spaces.

 

“It isn’t when the whole town ships them.” Wendy pressed send, and the new kid’s phone vibrated. They gleefully opened the message and placed their right hand over their heart, smiling at the cuteness.

 

“Go to sleep.” Craig told them.

 

And then they all heard Tweek snoring.

 

“Good night everyone,” Wendy told them, turning the light off.

 

“Good night.”

  
“Good night.”

 

“Good night.”

  
“...”

 

* * *

 

 

The new kid walked over to Soda Sopa- the ruins of what used to be a project the town was pursuing to completely gentrify the town.

 

After going through those ruins, along with a trail through the forest, the new kid found themselves at a small opening in the woods. At the end of the trail, the space opened up to reveal a small wood building and Kenny.

 

The new kid walked forward, seeing Kenny observing the wooden structure.

 

“Oh-hey new kid,” Kenny greeted him, “Are you ready?”

 

The new kid nodded, and gripped Kenny’s open hand.

 

Within a moment, a red ring with a red pentagram formed around them, engulfing them in the circle.

 

* * *

 

> A famous person once said that if you do what you love, others will join you- they’ll support you. But there will be those who won’t support your cause, your decisions, your lifestyles.

 

> At the LGBT Center, a giant stalk sprouted from the ground and it rained rainbow powder. It was mesmerizing at first, but when I touched it... I realized something about... life.

 

> Life is full of beautiful moments.

 

> Life is full of horrible moments.

 

> Life is made to systematically balance the good moments and the bad moments. If you fall short of a bad moment- or a good moment, are you of little to no value?

 

> Do you have spectral existence? Were you made as a subplot for the main character stranger that you or may have never knew in your life?

 

> What happens to those who only suffered? To those spoiled with benefits? Are those people created to progress the storyline for another person?

 

> Was Manbearpig born as story development for a new character in life?

 

> But to those with the balanced good moments and the bad moments- how do you account what moments are worth more than others? Is the moment of seeing your loved one in front of you die equivalent to you becoming a multimillionaire? Is the moment you becoming successful in life the equivalent of childhood building and depression?

 

> The world may never know...

 

> except for me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF. THE END. AHHH.
> 
> I’m just going to say this for my own sanity, Tweek and Craig won’t be hurt for the next episode. I only did it here for dramatization I AM SORRY.
> 
> By the way, have any of you readers figured out who leaves the notes at the bottom yet? I wonder who you guys think is writing them- because they are not Tweek (it seems obvious it’s him in the last chapter but it’s not him I swear).
> 
> Also, I hope y’all aren’t mad at me for trashing Trump in that one part. I really don’t agree with him... in general, but you can only create so much humor off of him. And personally I was really uncomfortable naming Garrison President Garrison, so I just left it as Garrison at that point. 
> 
> If you find any errors, such as characters acting inaccurately or something, let me know through tumblr or the comments. I’m willing to fix my mistakes, grammatical or story-based. Thanks in advanced.
> 
> The next episode won’t be this dramatic unfortunately, but it’s the way I’ve planned this narrative series. Thanks so much for reading, and remember- stay smiling and do what ever you need to do to make you, your friends and family, or your environment happy. Thanks guys, gals, and non binary pals!
> 
> -Negira
> 
> P.S. How do you feel about fan art?


	5. The Great Switcharoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig swtich outfits. Stan reveals himself. Butters learns his sexual identity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So whoopie the fourth episode- aka the aftermath of Manbearpig.
> 
> Okay, I'll keep this brief and short. Contact me on tumbr at Negira1239sp. I actually posted several memes about Tweek and Craig. 
> 
> Episode 5 will be up next week. But I may or may not post it some days earlier because this week I'll have some time for this. 
> 
> And finally, to those who like Stan and Wendy or Stan and Kyle, I'm sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: I changed the name of this chapter from The Grand Switcharoo to The Great Switcharoo.

It had been a full week since Manbearpig was taken by the government. The LBGT Center has been fully repaired and reopened to the public after the government rebuilt the wall in record speed.

 

On the news, the media had been told that a bear had been roaming on that side and had been safely returned to the wild, but some people thought otherwise, of course.

 

“No!” Randy Marsh slammed his fist into the podium. “That wasn’t a bear! That couldn’t of been a bear!”

 

The townspeople that claimed the media had been lying were gathered at the parking lot of the LGBT Center protesting.

 

“Randy,” President Garrison argued, sighing, “That was a bear. Calm down.”

 

“No!” Randy shouted, “I swear to God a bear didn’t tear down a wall.”

 

“The bear had been found ravaging through the sewage,” Garrison told them. “It must of have gotten mutant powers or some shit.”

 

The giant hole Manbearpig had dug up before fighting the superheroes had lead down to the sewer.

 

“Nnnngh!” Randy grunted, “I swear it’s not a bear that attacked the center!”

 

“Go home Randy,” Garrison told him, “It’s getting late.”

 

Inside the offices, now empty of government agents, Wendell had been on the computer filing papers and reports. With the wall torn down, the LGBT Center had to pay for it- despite the government helping fund the damage as well- and it was really expensive.

 

Wendell sighed, “This is so much money...” she said, typing four zeros into the box.

 

As he kept typing, Wendell didn’t even notice the door open.

 

“Hey Wendy.” Stan greeted.

 

“Ahh- Stan!” Wendell said, surprised to see Stan standing in front of him. “I thought we said date night at eight.”

 

“Well,” Stan presented a rose, “I got you something early for our date.”

 

“Awww, Stan.” Wendell got up from his seat and walked around the desk. He hugged Stan, who simply stood still, lightly wrapping his arms around him. “Stan, what’s wrong?”

 

“Ummm....” Stan delayed, as he didn’t know how to explain it. “I.....”

 

“Is something wrong?” Wendell looked up, staring into Stan’s eyes- which he couldn’t find because Stan kept looking away.

 

“Wendy...” Stan grinned his teeth. “Can we talk?”

 

“No one’s here,” Wendell, directing him to a chair. “And Stan. It’s Wendell.”

 

Stan took the seat in front of Wendell, both of his hands gripping each other. “Well... that’s the thing...”

 

“Stan....” Wendell whispered, “No...”

 

“Wendy... I...” Stan stopped talking and took a deep breath. “I know how you’re gender-fluid... and I know how much happier you are because of it.”

 

Stan stared into Wendy’s eyes. They were blue, crying for desperation- crying for the truth.

 

“I just can’t handle... being close with Wendell. I’m sorry.”

 

Wendell felt a tear run down his cheek. “No... Stan...”

 

“I’m sorry Wendy,” Stan’s voice changed to higher pitch. His eyes were watering as well. “I... I’m just not... attracted to guys.”

 

Wendell’s head turned down towards the ground. His hair had fallen out of his beanie and laid down in front of him.

 

“I’m sorry.” Stan apologized once more, “I... I’ll go now.”

 

Wendell kept his head down, crying out his eyes as Stan left into the lobby and into the outside.

 

“Goddamn it.” Kyle cried, gripping his ushanka with both hands. “God... fucking... DAMN IT,” Kyle had gripped his hat both both hands, his purples turning purple as his grip got tighter. His red curly hair had grown a bit more since he shaved it. Now, the red curls had hung over his forehead, his sides growing out a bit.

 

Kyle remained hidden in the other office, behind the door crying. He held both of his legs with both arms, crying in his cradle as more people gathered in the protest outside.

 

* * *

 

“Screw you!” Clyde held his controller with both hands higher, spamming the poor buttons to oblivion.

 

“Fuck you Clyde!” Craig pressed the secret hidden move, and was able to get his character to send a focus blast of energy, killing Clyde’s character.

 

Today was the last day of Tweek and Craig’s vacation. Insisted by the new kid, Wendy, and Kyle, the two boys took a week off as a break for their hard time during the Manbearpig fight. Tweek insisted he stay at the center to help Wendy with the club’s financial crisis but Wendy literally pushed them out of the center.

 

“Damn it!” Clyde yelled, throwing his controller at a pillow on the couch. “How are you so good at this game?”

 

“I had help,” Craig said as Tweek leaned his head on Craig’s shoulder, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out at Craig.

 

“Fuck you,” Clyde yelled, “And your boyfriend too!”

 

Craig flopped him off, handing the controller to Tweek. Tweek gripped the controller with one hand, the other flipping Clyde off.

 

“Dude,” Clyde pointed out, “Tweek flipped me off.”

 

“No I didn’t,” Tweek said innocently, quickly picking his character for the next round.

 

“Yeah you did,” Token stated as Clyde handed him the controller. “Craig, now you got Tweek to copy you.”

 

“That’s pretty cool,” Craig said, watching the screen as both players selected their characters.

 

“No it’s not,” Clyde said as he got up from the couch. Clyde wised his way over to where Craig and Tweek were- on the floor. “You guys are doing that annoying thing where you exhibit each other’s traits.”

 

“That’s not true,” Craig said.

 

“Dude,” Clyde said, “You’re fucking shaking right now.”

 

It was at that moment Craig was shaking. He was shaking from excitement as Tweek was able to kick Token’s character’s ass in the game. The excitement was really getting to him. “Fuck you’re right.”

 

“Told ya.” Clyde landed a soft punch at Craig’s shoulder.

 

“Hey, fuck off,” Craig yelled, flipping Clyde off.

 

“You guys should do that thing,” Token made out as he was trying to counter Tweek’s attacks. “You switch places with each other.”

 

“Switch places?” Craig asked. Tweek’s character landed the final blow and defeated Token’s character.

 

“Switch places,” Token said, pressing A to continue. “You know. You become Tweek and Tweek becomes you. For a day or a week if you want.”

 

“What?” Craig thought about the idea. He would have to dye his hair and wear a green- and not blue- dress shirt and lose his hat. “On second thought, pass.”

 

“Ooooo- now wait just a moment.” Clyde got up and walked over to the side of the basement where a chalkboard was placed. He grabbed a dry erase marker and scribbled onto the board.

 

The three boys paused the game and turned their heads to Clyde’s drawing. He drew a line down the middle and assigned the left column Creek and the right column Clyde and Token.

 

“Okay guys.” Clyde turned around to reveal the rest of his ‘master piece.’ “We’re having a deal.”

 

“A deal?” Craig asked.

 

“Yes Craig. A... great... switcharoo!” Clyde pointed his fingers at the horribly drawn Craig and Tweek on the whiteboard.

 

“You two- Craig and Tweek- are going to switch everything. Lives, clothes, personalities- everything!” Clyde shook his hands to resemble jazz hands, adding on to his ‘pizazz.’ “And if you guys can pull it off for a week, we, Token and I,” he looked at Token with a smile, “Will give you guys unlimited access to our shared Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube TV accounts.”

 

Clyde and Token had bought all three services and had completely hidden them from anybody else.

 

“Sounds interesting,” Craig told Clyde, “But what do we do if and only if we lose?”

 

Clyde looked to Token to respond. Token said, “Then we get to become LGBT Center members and we get to join in on your field trips and events.”

 

“Also we want you off of Pandora,” Clyde added in.

 

“That too.”

 

“Wait!”

 

Everyone looked at Tweek, “I’ll give you two unlimited drinks at my parents shop if you two win, but if we win... you two will have to volunteer 40 hours at the LGT Center.”

 

“Tweek!” Craig shouted, looking at the blonde, “Can you even afford that?”

 

“Craig,” Tweek looked at him, “I fucking love Pandora.”

 

Craig turned his head back to Clyde and Token, who were now standing next to the whiteboard. “I guess it’s a deal“

 

The four boys had shook hands on it.

 

* * *

 

 

The new kid entered the LGBT Center, forgetting that they had left their school homework in the office. The time was an hour after Randy and them were protesting Garrison, making it almost eight pm.

 

The new kid walked into the lobby and then into the hallway to the offices. As they turned in, the door swung open and ricocheted back into them.

 

“S-sorry.” A high pitch voice told them.

 

The new kid grabbed the door edge and carefully opened the door. Behind the door was a broken Kyle Broflovski. The redhead had completely ruined their dress shirt short sleeves with his tears. His jacket was wrapped around his back, draped over his shoulders. The usharnka he wore was also crumbled in his hands, flattened and squished.

 

“Hey new kid,” Kyle coughed a few times, clearing his throat, “Why are you still here?”

 

The new kid gasped as they took a knee. They bent forward and wrapped their arms around Kyle, who only tried to resist.

 

“What are you- doing?” Kyle sniffled, “I’m fine.” The new kid pulled Kyle up standing. The red head wobbled around before standing straight by himself. “Thanks.”

 

The new kid smiled as they helped Kyle get to a seat. Kyle simply followed the silent instructions. They sat down on a chair and patiently waited for the new kid to grab a chair. Once they found a chair, they pulled it over and sat in front of Kyle, facing the red head.

 

They sat patently, staring at Kyle’s face.

 

“What... do you want to talk about?” Kyle asked, not really sure what to do.

 

The new kid extended his hand and patted Kyle’s left knee cap. 

 

“Oh.” Kyle knew that the new kid wanted him to talk. “It’s nothing.”

 

The new kid pouted and grabbed their phone. They dashed away on the keyboard, sending a text message within 2 seconds.

 

 

 

> What the fuck happened to you?

 

“Damn new kid,” Kyle said as he pulled his phone out, “You type fast.”

 

 

 

> Seriously Kyle what happened?

 

Kyle sighed. Everything he was pursuing for practically ended an hour ago.

 

“Oh where do I start?” Kyle asked, rubbing his head with his hands.

 

 

 

> Just ramble. It’ll lead to it.

 

Kyle read the message and sighed, “So... like...” he checked the time, “an hour ago... I- I found something out that I shouldn’t of learned.”

 

The new kid observed Kyle, examining his features. Kyle’s eyes had been red; his face was full of dried tears and blush. He was fidgeting with his fingers, his legs tangled with the other.

 

The new texted,

 

 

 

> Did someone you like reject you?

 

Kyle read the message and dropped his phone accidentally. He picked the phone up, his hands and arms shaking from the side adrenaline.

 

After setting the phone on his lap, Kyle was speechless. In less than three minutes the new kid was able to figure him out. Within three minutes, he was rejected- informally- by Stan.

 

Oooo.... Stan. The name running through his mind was leaving a trail of scars as memories came up. Precious memories of them having fun together; having adventures together.

 

As Kyle lifted his head, his mouth slightly open to breathe, he found himself simply unable to move. He found himself simply... lost.

 

“New kid,” Kyle said briefly. “I’m... I’m lost.”

 

The new kid grabbed a box of tissues and handed them to Kyle.

 

“I... I don’t know what to do.” Kyle grabbed a tissue and rubbed his eyes. He thought he would rub dried tears of salt but really, the tears were moist. He was crying. “I don’t think I can hide this anymore.”

 

The new kid smiled, tilting his head left. The new kid’s bang had drifted slowly to reveal both of his open eyes. They were both black, dark as night.

 

“Douche bag, I know I’m asexual. I know I am.” Kyle wiped his tears, “but I’m slowly finding myself in new situations where I think my own solutions aren’t working anymore.”

 

The new kid got on their phone,

 

 

 

> Kyle, you’re still an asexual.

 

“I don’t know anymore, New kid.” Kyle lifted both legs and hugged them with his arms. “About a few years ago, I started... liking him.”

 

The new kid nodded forward, leaning in towards Kyle.

 

“I... we’re best frien-“ Kyle suddenly stopped at the last syllable and paused. He didn’t know whether he could consider him friends at this point. Sure, they’re close to each other, but if he rejected him then-

 

Kyle felt his phone vibrate and stared at the screen.

 

 

 

> Did Stan reveal himself to be cis-straight?

 

“YES-“ Kyle dove forward and slammed himself on the new kid, crying his eyes out. The new kid wrapped both hands around the Jew, slowly tugging and rubbing his back.

 

“New kid, I was wrong,” Kyle admitted, “I like Stan. I like his hair. I like his style. I like his personality. I like him- And he doesn’t like boys!”

 

The new kid remained silent and continued patting his back.

 

“I just want to be with him. Hold him close,” Kyle tightened his hug, “be next to him...”

 

The new kid texted his phone, sending a message within seconds.

 

Kyle didn’t bother checking his phone as he was unaware of the new kid texting. “I just want Stan to be with me. We don’t even need sex I just want to cuddle.”

 

“Tweek always tells me how he cuddles with Craig,” Kyle continued rambling as the new kid continued texting. “I want to cuddle too...”

 

“Sometimes, I wonder how it is to have someone care about you... Someone who... would do anything for you... someone who... you can rely on... someone who... someone who...”

 

Kyle thought about his next words. “Someone who you would sacrifice yourself for.”

 

The new kid patted his back.

 

“Oh- sorry new kid.” Kyle retracted back to his chair, sitting properly. “I didn’t... hear.” He lifted his phone, and checked his messages.

 

 

 

> Kyle, you’re still an asexual. The tests did confirm that.

 

 

 

> You can still have romantic feelings towards people; asexual is defined for its lack of sexual attraction not lack of mutual love.

 

“New kid...” Kyle looked up from his phone, “I like Stan... but I also liked Heidi... and Bebe...”

 

The new kid immediately texted,

 

 

 

> You’re biromantic.

 

“I’m...” Kyle stuttered, “Biromantic?”

 

* * *

 

Craig could not believe he was doing this.

 

He stood in his underwear in his bathroom, standing on top of a stood looking at the mirror. Looking at the reflection, he could see the outfit he would wear and the other cosmetic products on the counter.

 

The first thing Craig grabbed was the can of hair spray dye. He took his hat off, revealing his shiny black hair. Craig ruffled it around, making sure it had dried from the recent shower.

 

Now, he grabbed the spray and simply did one puff of it on his hair. The spray had turned his hair a slighter yellow. Craig moved it around with his fingers, observing and rubbing the coloring onto the stand.

 

Craig continued and sprayed the rest of his hair. When he was done, all of his black luscious had turned blonde. Even the center gray spot had turned into a dirty blonde color. Craig hated how it wouldn’t turned into a lighter blonde.

 

He made sure to wash his hands and head when he was done before putting on the green button down. Thankfully, they wore similar colored pants so they didn’t have to switch those. By the time he was done, a whole half hour had passed by.

 

A loud pound on the door made him realize how long he had been in the restroom.

 

“Craig!” His sister called, “hurry up.”

 

Craig opened the door and saw his little sister at the entrance.

 

“Next time can you not take that lo-“ Tricia was astonished to see blonde Craig wearing a green button down. Her eyes and mouth expressed confusion, but her heart and voice cried-

 

“HOLY SHIT CRAIG YOU LOOK LIKE TWEEK!!! How cute!”

 

“Shut up.” Craig flipped her off before going downstairs.

 

“Craig!” His Mother called as he got down stairs, “Tweek is outside.”

 

“Thanks mom,” he said in his attempt at a higher pitch voice.

 

“What was that?” She asked.

 

Craig got to the door and opened it, revealing a Craig-cosplaying Tweek behind it.

 

Tweek had mirrored Craig and used hair dye spray to dye his blonde hair black. He borrowed Craig’s spare hat, and wore black blue jeans along with a blue jacket.

 

“I hate this,” Tweek said, imitating a nasal voice.

 

“Same,” Craig replied. “Mom made breakfast, want some?”

 

“Do I really sound like that?” Tweek asked, entering into the household.

 

“Craig?” His Mother called as she wondered into the kitchen. “Your voice sounded unusual so I got you some- SWEET JESUS!”

 

Craig was Tweek, and Tweek was Craig.

 

“Mom,” Craig (now Tweek) said, “It’s a bet.”

 

“Oh, okay.” She turned around, “I thought you guys were doing something dirty.”

 

“What’s dirty about dressing up as each other?” Tweek asked.

 

“You don’t want to know,” Craig replied.

 

* * *

 

Kyle woke up feeling very dizzy that morning. His insides felt like they were molting and his head had been running in circles. The worse part was-

 

“Where am I?” Kyle asked. He looked around, seeing that he woke up in a different bed. The room was in was not painted or wallpapered. There was a chest in front of the bed, a desk on the opposite side, and a television to his right. To be quite honest, he didn’t know where he was.

 

One thing he did remember though was what happened the night before. Kyle pulled out his phone, which had over a 40 percent charge, and read all the messages.

 

 

 

> Mom: Bubby, your friend said that you knocked out at the center last night. I got your friend a spare change of clothes. Don’t be late for school.

 

 

 

> Stan: hey Kyle, where are you?

 

 

 

> Wendy: I heard what happened, are you okay?

 

 

 

> New kid: are you feeling okay?

 

 

 

> New kid: Kyle?

 

Kyle looked to his right and saw the new kid fully dressed.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Kyle dropped his phone, “New Kid... is this your room?”

 

They nodded, walking over and sitting at the bed side.

 

“Sorry about last night,” Kyle said as he removed his hat. “Thanks for comforting me, douchebag.”

 

They smiled, and snorted a bit too.

 

“You know,” Kyle laughed a bit, “I don’t like calling you Douchebag.”

 

 

 

> We asexuals have to stick together.

 

And for that morning, Kyle had started smiling more. When he came down the stairs, the new kid was waiting for him.

 

“Hey sweetie!” The New kid’s mother greeted. “You must be Kyle. It’s so nice to meet you.”

 

Kyle shook her hand, “Thanks for watching over me last night.”

 

“Oh- don’t worry about it,” she smiled. “Sweetie, daddy went to work already, but why don’t you and Kyle join me for breakfast?”

 

And they had breakfast. Kyle was so amazed at the new kid’s mom. She looked really young and mature; she was really funny; and she knew how to handle the new kid’s silence.

 

When they were done, the two kids walked over to the bus stop, already seeing everyone waiting there.

 

The first thing Kyle and the new kid noticed differently was how tall Tweek was. They walked over to the couple, and then they noticed how short Craig was. Something was not right-

 

“Holy-“ Kyle looked at the two boys, seeing one dressed as the other.

 

“It’s a bet,” Tweek said with a nasally voice.

 

“That... explains a lot.” Kyle looked over to the boy next to them, and saw Wendell.

 

“Wendell?” Kyle asked.

 

“Kyle...” he looked down, not wanting to stare at the red head. Kyle leaned to his side and whispered, “I heard you guys last night. I’m sorry.”

 

“Kyle...” Wendell was still heart broken, “Can.. can you leave me alone for today? I... I just need this.”

 

“Definitely.” Kyle turned around and saw the boy over on the other side with Cartman and Kenny.

 

Stan was looking sad too. He looked merely identical to everyday, but today, he was admitting sadness.

 

*snap*

 

Kyle turned around and saw that the new kid had just snapped their fingers. They held a Manila folder, handing its contents over to Kyle.

 

Kyle accepted the folder and opened it. The file was filled with tests and other documents; and on the top was a picture of Leopold “Butters” Stotch. And on the side, was a post it note with black ink writing.

 

“Focus on work today. Don’t worry about him.” -NK

 

Kyle smiled as he started reading the analytics of Butters Stotch.

 

* * *

 

Craig and Tweek were given numerous stares as they roamed through the hallways of the school. The students, from wherever they came from, ran through the hallways just to see this odd phenomenon.

 

“T-they’re staring at us,” Craig told Tweek. He wrapped his arm around Tweek’s, even though the blonde was a bit shorter.

 

“Stop caring then.” Tweek told him.

 

The two boys continued their way through the school building, finally arriving at their lockers. Sadly, their lockers weren’t together, so they first arrived at Craig’s.

 

Craig unlocked his locker and noticed that Clyde and Token were staring.

 

“Guys,” Clyde told them, “You can’t use your own locker!”

 

“My stuff is in here.” Craig even made sure to twitch as well. Tweek was not a very big fan.

 

“Then change lockers,” Clyde said, making it sound like it was the easiest thing to do.

 

“Fuck you,” Tweek said, flipping him off. “I ain’t moving my shit.”

 

“B-Tweek,” Craig forgot he couldn’t call him the pet names, “That was-“ He also forgot that he can’t talk like he usually does- “GAH! Too much pressure!”

 

That sounded like Tweek.

 

“Jesus,” Tweek said, “Do I really sound like that?”

 

“Yes.” The three other boys said.

 

When Craig was done, the four boys had found Jimmy and made their way to Tweek’s locker.

 

“S-so. What’s with the s... s...swww... switch-a roooo?” Jimmy asked.

 

“We made a bet,” Clyde said, confidently, “If they can do this for a week then we give them our account information, but if we win we get free coffee and we get to be members of the LGBT Center.”

 

“What’s so good about being a member?” Jimmy asked.

 

“You haven’t heard?” Clyde asked. “They have paid field trips and free shit.”

 

“And it looks good on a resume,” Token added.

 

“Plus,” Clyde whispered into Jimmy’s ear, “Cartman got banned so if we all join it’ll be hella funny.”

 

Jimmy chuckled, “That would be pretty funny.”

 

When Tweek was done, the four of them made their way to the classroom.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Wendell, with the office phone in her hand, wrung the phone cord around her finger, swirling it around. She was also resting, laid back on her office chair.

 

“Yes Mayor,” Wendell explained, “The LGBT Center lost a lot of money from the bear attack. We might need to plan something out for land payment and property stuff.”

 

“Wendell,” the Mayor responded, “the city can’t help you with your center. There are too many citizens protesting against you, and if we help you, then the citizens will definitely become upset.”

 

“I understand Mayor, but the LGBT Center has gotten this town, and you a lot of attention for being progressive.”

 

“Yes, that is true, but we can’t risk this now. You guys had protests over a month ago when you opened. Now, you’re having protests because the government was involved in your hole in the wall.”

 

“I understand Mayor. Thank you for your time.”

 

“I’m sorry Wendell.” The phone clicked.

 

“Damn it.” Wendell sat properly and pressed the next number into the dial. When the other line, connected, a man spoke, “This is PC Principle, how may I help?”

 

“PC Principle, this is Wendell. I was hoping if you or the school would like to be in assistance to the LGBT Center.”

 

“Unfortunately Wendell, I’m going to have to pass.”

 

“What.”

 

“Unfortunately, the school does not have enough funding to help you guys. As of right now, we’re on strict budget cuts.”

 

That explained the school lunch. “I see. Well, thank you for your time.”

 

“My apologies.” The phone clicked.

 

“GOD DAMN IT!” Wendell slammed the phone onto the receiver. “Now what do I do?”

 

* * *

 

“School was so goddamn difficult,” Craig said, leaning in on Tweek. After switching spots in all the classes they had together (which wasn’t that different because they sat next to each other) and going through the other shit in school, the two boys were finally free to go home.

 

“Craig,” Tweek informed him, “Don’t die yet. We need to keep going for a week.”

 

It was a strange feeling, but Craig was really enjoying being Tweek. He really enjoyed the feeling of having such a bold and bland person watching over him- offering a soft shoulder to lean on. After this, he might even ask Tweek if he could lean on his shoulder some times. “I know,” he whined.

 

“Hey guys.”

 

The two boys turned around to see Clyde, Token, and Jimmy all together. Clyde walked up to the couple, and told them the news.

 

“Jimmy wants in on the bet.”

 

“What.” Tweek asked. Craig simply remained silent.

 

“He wants LGBT membership as well,” Clyde simplified.

 

“What do we get if we win?” Tweek asked, looking at Jimmy.

 

“I’ll get you guys funding from the school newspaper club. And I’ll give you free fastpass for the next month.”

 

“Month?” They both asked.

 

The three boys stared at them.

 

“Fine.” Tweek agreed. “Fuck you guys.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid, Kyle, and Butters were inside an office at the LGBT Center. Butters sat at a desk bubbling in answers to questions.

 

“Gee, guys?” Butters asked, “This sure is a lot of questions you want me to fill out.”

 

“Butters,” Kyle explained, “We need you to take a bunch of tests to see what you really identify as.”

 

“But why can’t I just take like, 3 tests... or so?”

 

“Butters,” Kyle explained again, “if you only take 3 tests and you get different results, you have a huge margin of error. You need to take multiple tests so your margin of error is smaller. And smaller margin of error means more accuracy.”

 

“Awww, gosh dang it,” Butters whined as he continued taking the tests.

 

“Kyle? New kid?” Another boy-ish voice called to them.

 

The two kids looked at the door and saw Stan at the doorway, peering in.

 

Stan wore the same identical clothing he had always worn, but this time his appearance was drastically different. For one, his hair could be seen under his beanie. His eyes had gray under shade and his nose was red.

 

“Hey...” he said, his voice weak in passion. Stan even coughed harshly, dropping to the floor on his knees.

 

The new kid ran over, patting down his back.

 

Kyle was in awe watching the new kid help Stan stand up. They were so careful of others, always going through that extra extent to others.

 

Just like they did for him.

 

“Butters,” Kyle walked over to the door, watching the new kid bring Stan to the lobby. “Keep taking the tests. We’ll... be outside.”

 

“Okay.” Butters smiled and continued filling out blanks as Kyle shut the door. He tiptoed out to the lobby, not making a sound as he watched the new kid bring Stan to the couch.

 

“New kid...” Stan blew his nose into a tissue. “I... I know I fucked up.”

 

The new kid sat in front of Stan, turning his body so that he was fully facing Stan.

 

“I... I told Wendy that I really didn’t like Wendell.” Stan wiped the tears in his eyes with a sleeve. “And now...” he sniffled, “Wendy won’t talk to me. And now Kyle won’t talk to me.”

 

Kyle stood still, frozen in his pursuit.

 

“I don’t know what Wendy told him... or why... but...” the new kid offered him a tissue box and he immediately grabbed one to dab his eyes. “Maybe it’s because they work so close...” he blew his nose.

 

“But... I really miss Kyle. I miss Wendy too. I miss being with them.”

 

Kyle turned around, his back facing the wall, and silently leaned against it. His gloved hands went to grip his heart.

 

“I didn’t know I could hurt them that much!” Stan yelled, “I just don’t like guys- or the guy side of things. I like girls being girly- or girls- or just feministic thing I don’t know!”

 

Kyle leaned so much against the wall he practically slid down to the floor.

 

“I like Wendy. I really do.” Stan blew his nose once more, “I’m just... I’m just not attracted to guys doing guy things. I just think they’re...”

 

Kyle covered his ears by tugging the sides of his hat down, but he could still hear the muffled line.

 

“I just think they’re more like brothers.”

 

Wait what. Kyle’s eyes opened wide as he continued to listen.

 

“Whenever I see someone like... Kyle... or Craig... or Wendell. I don’t see them as attractive people. I just see them as brothers. I deeply care about them and all, but.”

 

Kyle turned his head and peered over the side to see what happened. Stan had stopped speaking from being unable to develop his words. The new kid stopped him, telling Stan through body language that this place was safe.

 

Stan took a deep breath before saying, “I wish I can tell Wendy and Kyle that I’m sorry for being insensitive but- I can’t help it. I’m not sexually attracted to guys.”

 

The three kids heard a sudden dropped and turned to the front door.

 

Wendy had just arrived at the center. Her eyes were watering, her hands free from the backpack dropped to the floor.

 

“Stan.”

 

Stan shot up from the couch. “Wendy?”

 

“New kid…” Wendy started backing up, going to the door. “I… I should go-“

 

“Wait. Wendy.” Stan approached her slowly. “Please. Talk to me.”

 

“Stan. I know how you feel about me and I-“ Wendy reached for the door with her left hand.

 

“Wait!” Stan extended his hand, reaching for Wendy. “Don’t go. Please.”

 

“Stan.” Wendy said, her body shaking at the sight of Stan. “I know how… uncomfortable I make you feel.”

 

“Please Wendy don’t go. I know what I said before hurt you. And I’m-“

 

“Stan I heard the whole thing.”

 

Everyone in the room became silent from that. Kyle remained hidden in the hallway, now crouching on the floor. The new kid remained on the couch.

 

“Wendy, I… I’m sorry.” Stan’s hand that was in the air had lowered. “I was ignorant and I said some things about your gender identity. I knew how much your gender mattered to you and I…” Stan found himself loss for words.

 

“You fucked me over?”

 

“… yeah.” Stan looked down and sighed, “I fucked you over. And I’m really sorry about it.”

 

“Stan, I know you’re apologizing to me, but…” Wendy let go of the door. “I don’t know if I could ever forget you.”

 

“Then don’t.” Stan made his way around the couch, “Just… allow me to get used to you.”

 

It was at that moment Kyle realized that the new kid was eyeing him. He checked his phone, careful not to open anything that wouldn’t make sounds, and checked his text messages.

 

 

 

> Show them the scores.

 

Kyle realized what the new kid wanted to do. So he got up. Careful not to make a sound, Kyle made his way back down the hallway.

 

Wendy looked over to the new kid. She saw the new kid smile at her, twirling their finger around their head.

  
She sighed, “Stan… you need to accept me for who I am.”

 

Kyle opened the door to the office.

 

“Hey Kyle. I’m done with my test.” Butters walked over and handed him the stack.

 

“I need to grade this,” Kyle told him as he dropped the papers at the desk.

 

“I do Wendy. I do.” Stan told her. “I just… Wendell is still new to me Wendy. Let me take it slowly.”

 

Wendy rolled her eyes. “How do I know I can trust you again?”

 

Stan remained silent.

 

“How do I know you will get a long with Wendell?”

 

Stan replied, “I... I love you Wendy. I always did. We do fight sometimes. We do argue sometimes. And a lot of times, I’m on the other side of the situation. Please Wendy. Give me one more chance.”

 

Kyle was on a mad rush to recording the results. Ironically, Butters’ scores matched up similarity with Clyde’s and similarity with his.

 

“Stan, do you give Wendell one more chance?”

 

The new kid silently got up and started backing up. Wendy continued, “Stop apologizing to me and start apologizing to Wendell. I need to know.”

 

“Wendy. Wendell. You are the same person in both circumstances and I will love the both of you.”

 

“But Stan!” Wendy cried, “You just admitted that you were not sexually attracted to Wendell. Even though Wendell is my male-ish identity, I still have the same parts.”

 

Kyle flipped through the last paper and recorded the last line on the chart. From there, he was able to figure out Butter’s sexual and gender identity. He was cisgender male, and Butters is heterosexual and biromatic.

 

“I can’t explain it Wendy,” Stan told her. “I love you... and Wendell... but I... don’t like Wendell’s masculinity?”

 

The new kid slowly backed themselves into the hallway. It took them a while, but the new kid was able to exit the lobby without causing a huge disruption- oops too late.

 

Kyle ran into the new kid and fell on top of them. They both toppled over to the floor, the new kid receiving the impact of Kyle and the floor. They landed back against the floor with Kyle on top of them.

 

“Kyle!” Stan called, “I... Umm.”

 

“Stan,” Wendy told him, “I swear to god if you go over to him I-“

 

“Wait!” Kyle got up and immediately ran over to the couple. “I need to show you guys something.”

 

Kyle displayed two papers with both hands. On the left, was Butters’ score; and on the right was Stan’s.

 

“Look at this!” Kyle told them, “They both match.”

 

“I don’t understand.” Stan told them.

 

“I do.” Wendy carefully read the descriptions and charts. “Stan... you’re heterosexual... and biromantic?”

 

“Biromantic?” Stan asked. “What’s that?”

 

“Biromantic is liking both genders Stan,” Kyle explained, “Not sexually- only in the romantic spectrum.”

 

“Of course,” Wendy thought out loud, “That actually makes sense.”

 

“Yeah. I get it.” Stan looked closely at his paper. “But.. I thought I was just straight.”

 

“Well, Butters’ test was merely identical to Stan’s.” Kyle told them. “I just compared the results.”

 

“Wait.” Wendy turned to Stan. “Stan…. So… do you really like me being me?

 

“Wendy, I love you for being you.”

 

“Oh Stan.” Wendy dove into Stan’s arms. They were both crying into each other’s arms, both blocking the way of the doorway.

 

Kyle put the two papers down and sighed at the happy couple. He didn’t know why he kept staring. He didn’t know why he couldn’t peel his eyes away.

 

He felt a small shoulder tap from behind. They turned around and saw the new kid behind them. They motioned to the office, and Kyle followed behind them.

 

At this point, Kyle didn’t feel angry at Stan anymore. Kyle felt… superior. He felt… better about the situation.

 

As the new kid walked into the office, Kyle stopped before entering. Before stepping in, Kyle had a single thought had gone through his mind.

 

Had the new kid always been this…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazing?

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

“Hey guys…”

 

Kyle and the new kid turned around.

 

The three kids were walking down the sidewalk back to their homes. After dealing with Stan and Wendy, the new kid and Kyle decided to walk the fellow blonde boy back to his home. After all, Douchebag and him are neighbors.

 

“Can you guys come with me?” Butters requested. “I… I want to tell my parents that I’m biromantic.” He pressed his two hands together, blushing a small bit.

 

“Butters,” Kyle asked, “Are you sure about this?”

 

“Yeah, I’m gonna tell my dad.” Butters admitted, “I might get grounded, but I wanna let my parents know who I am. Even if they don’t accept me, I’ll still love ‘em because… you know.”

 

The new kid tapped Kyle shoulder, calling over his attention. Kyle looked over to his right to see the new kid on their phone. Within two seconds, his phone vibrated, and of course he knew who had texted him.

 

 

 

> Let’s help him.

 

“Fine.” Kyle agreed, and the new kid nodded. “We’ll come with you.”

 

“Whoopie!” Butters cheered and dashed the way up the pavement to the door. He stopped and knocked a few times at the green house, waiting for his dad to open up.

 

The door opened to reveal Butter’s father. “Welcome home Butters.”

 

“H-Hi dad.” Butters greeted.

 

“And who do we have here?” Butter’s father asked, looking at the new kid and Kyle. “I see we have the… ungroundable child.”

 

“Dad… I needed wanted them to come over,” Butters said, tugging at his dad’s shirt. “I wanna tell you something.”

 

“Sure son,” Butters’ father walked over to the living room, allowing the new kid and Kyle standing next to the front door.

 

“Dad… I ummm.” Butters sat on the couch, nervously fiddling with his fingers. “I’m… a biromantic heterosexual.”

 

Butters’ father chuckled. “You have such a imaginative imagination.”

 

“No dad, I umm.” Butters looked at Kyle and the new kid. “They helped me discover that I like boys and stuff.”

 

“You what?” Butters’ dad asked seriously.

 

“No dad I-“

 

“Oh god. Oh god!!!” Butters’ father cried. “I didn’t raise you to be like this!”

 

“Please dad I-“

 

“AND YOU!” Butters turned to the new kid. “YOU DID THIS! YOU TAUGHT MY SON ABOUT BEING GAY.”

 

The new kid simply stared at Butters’ father.

 

“You won’t beat me this time, ungroundable child.” Butters’ father pointed to Butters. “YOU ARE GROUNDED!”

 

“GAHH!” Butters froze to the couch, dramatically lifting his arms up to shield himself.

 

“Butters!” Kyle cried.

 

“And you’re grounded too!” He pointed to Kyle, shooting his grounding beam at the jewish boy.

 

“GAH!” Kyle shielded himself, feeling the effects of being grounded upon him.

 

The new kid snarled at the father, dedicated to help Kyle and Butters’. They got into fighting stance, and dove forward.

 

* * *

 

“Oh geez.” President Garrison walked into the LGBT Center, looking around the lobby. Wendy and Stan were at the couch facing the television whilst Tweek and Craig were at the other, Tweek taking a nap whilst Craig was on his phone. “This place looks like a mess.”

 

“President Garrison.” Wendy stood up, ignoring her boyfriend and walked over to the suited men. “What can I do for you guys?”

 

“Where is the new kid?” the president asked.

 

“Umm. I think he went to take Butters home,” Wendy told them. “Why?”

 

“I was hoping to give them this before they left, but oh well.” President Garrison snapped his fingers and the men brought a brief case. “Apparently the Pentagon has a reward for Manbearpig. And since the new kid and you guys defeated it…”

 

“No way.” Wendy’s jaw dropped.

 

“Wait what?” Craig asked.

 

“What the-“ Stan asked.

 

“The pentagon wanted to donate $560 thousand dollars to this LGBT Center and to give a thousand dollars to each kid involved.” The president reiterated, “Yes Craig. Even you get a grand.”

 

“Sweet Jesus.” Craig said out loud.

 

“Wait a minute,” Wendy turned to her offices. “Mr. Garrison. I just need your signature on several forms before you go.”

 

“You better make it quick,” the president and several agents followed. “I have a massage appointment back in Washington in four hours.”

 

* * *

 

Tweek and Craig were at Stark’s Pond. Today was the first day back from break and Mr. Garrison had given them a thousand dollars each. Now, the two were simply enjoying the sun set at Stark’s pond. The two were still dressed as each other.

 

“Hey Craig,” Tweek said, leaning his head on Craig’s shoulder. Tweek missed leaning his head on Craig. It was one of his many ways to feel protected against the monsters out there. “I miss this.”

 

“I miss it too.” Craig wrapped his left around around Tweek, allowing Tweek to lean at his side chest. “I miss you on my side like this.”

 

“But I kinda liked you leaning on me,” Tweek teased. His head ended up sliding down to Craig’s left thigh. “You became this giant teddy bear.”

 

Craig lightly snorted- something he never does- and placed his hand in Tweek’s luscious blonde hair. “I can do it if you want me to.”

 

Tweek chuckled, “Then people would stare at us funny.”

 

“People already stare at us funny,” Craig said. He tilted his head down, staring at the boy on his lap. His green jade eyes stared at the sunset; the sight of the yellow orange sunset in the reflection of his eyes. Tweek turned his head facing the sky, seeing Craig stare at him with his peripheral vision.

 

Tweek whispered to his partner, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Craig bent downward, and connected his lips with Tweek’s.

 

 

 

“AHH HA!”

 

The two kissing boys disconnected from each other; Tweek toppling onto the floor and Craig sitting straight up.

 

Clyde jumped out of the bush, holding his phone horizontally as he approached the two boys. “GUESS WHO JUST WON THE BET?”

 

Craig looked at Clyde, with a burning flame in his eyes. Tweek starred at Clyde as he got up, never once losing his sight at the brunette.

 

“Ummm… guys?”

 

Craig and Tweek were now both standing up and looking at Clyde with dreaded eyes.

 

“Guys. You can stop now.”

 

They both took a step forward.

 

Clyde lifted both of his hands and cried, “I’ll see you soon Mom!”

 

* * *

 

Butters’ father was so much more difficult that the last time.

 

As the new kid and Kyle fought Mr. Stotch, Butters was grounded the whole time. He was rendered useless the whole battle, remaining on the couch the whole time.

 

Kyle was not doing well in battle. Without his kite or a golf club, Kyle was completely useless as well. Only the new kid was able to deal damage, so they were at the front the whole time. He laid next to the front door, watching the new kid fight Mr. Stotch. They performed moves their superhero persona would do, dodging the father’s attacks, and protect him from grounding attacks. He watched Douchebag as they tapped the ground, summoning roots through the carpet. He watched Douchebag summon chi from their body to pull the father away from Kyle.

 

Kyle marveled at the new kids ability to defeat opponents like this. They were some of the craziest battles that he had ever witnessed. From his other cousin Kyle to his own mother to the whole South Park Police Department- Douchebag was able to defeat anyone in his path.

 

So once Kyle saw that Douchebag kicked Mr. Stotch’s back and into the wall, he smiled. The new kid panted as they walked over to Butters; tapping their leg to unground them.

 

“Thanks new kid.” Butters smiled as he got off the couch. “I got to go upstairs now- before he regains consciousness. Bye Kyle.”

 

Kyle waved as Butters went upstairs. He got up from his spot and followed the new kid out.

 

“Sorry I couldn’t do anything helpful new kid,” Kyle admitted.

 

The new kid brushed it off, smiling at the red head. They pointed to their house and waved good bye as they turned around.

 

And Kyle knew at that moment something he thought he would never think of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s starting to like the new kid.

 

* * *

 

Tweek and Craig were both in one of the LGBT Center offices with Token, Clyde, and Jimmy.

 

“Alright you butt fuckers.” Craig handed each of the three boys a card. “This is your membership card. Enjoy the free shit.”

 

The three boys cheered.

 

“Now fuck off.” Craig pointed to the door. “Tweek and I need to do some stuff.”

 

“Okay,” Token was the first to go to the exit. “Guess we’ll go to my house then.”

 

“I call playing the Xbox first,” Clyde yelled.

 

“W-w-whe-wait up.” Jimmy got up and got his crutches. “Wh-wh-wha-wait up you p-p- pussies.”

 

“Wait that’s it?” Tweek asked. “You’re just gonna go and play video games?”

 

“Yeah.” Clyde answered. The three of them left.

 

“Those mother fuckers!”

 

* * *

 

The new kid and Kenny stood inside a stone cave illuminated by lava streaks on the walls. There was only one passage way out, and there was an entity standing at the middle of it.

 

“I knew you would come here eventually,” the boy in the middle of the cave said.

 

“Just take us to Satan fucker,” Kenny demanded.

 

“Very well.”

 

The three kids moved down the dark but illuminated lava cave. There were several twists and turns, but they reached the end. At the end of the cave was a large opening; the opening shining so bright it seemed to be blinding.

 

“We’re here.”

 

“Jesus what’s behind there Damien?” Kenny demanded.

 

“The Prince of Hell,” Damientold them. “He requested to see you two.”

 

* * *

  

 

> There are so many times today that I felt like I shouldn't exist. The probability of me coming about to this planet- after millions of years and after thousands of generations creates me. 

 

 

> And why me? Why am I in these clothes? In these positions? Why me?

  

 

> But sometimes, when I realize I'm in an existential crisis, I think of about what caused me to get into this state.

  

 

> And that's when I realized

  

 

 

 

> is my inability to accept myself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact those endings all connect with how this series will end. Second fun fact this chapter took me a long time to plan out because of time stamps. Like, this episode jumps on the spam of several days and I feel like I inaccurately wrote wrong stuff. Correct me if I did write something wrong.
> 
> And also if you don't believe how I interpret the characters like how I made Stan heterosexual and biromantic then please argue with me. I will, depending on several factors, change and/or rewrite the chapter. Please, spark a conversation and present an argument.
> 
> Btw I really enjoyed switching Tweek and Craig for this chapter. It felt weird but at the same time it felt different. Holy crap this should be its own AU.
> 
> Well, I don't know what else to put in. Thanks guys, gals, and non-binary pals.


	6. CrusTea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brand new boba shop opens in South Park. City Wok doesn't like it, and so doesn't the LGBT Center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once, I feel late for posting this. I'm sincerely sorry, since I'm posting this at five am PST. Just to let you guys know, I am a full time student with a job and a bunch of side projects besides this. Fun fact, I'm in an animation team.
> 
> Anyways, you know the drill. My tumblr is Negira1239sp. Follow me there, or whatever. Enjoy
> 
> -Negira

“Fellas!” Butter shouted, sprinting down the sidewalk as fast as he could. “Fellas!

 

Butters sprinted through the main street of South Park. He ran around men and women, dodging everyone and everything to the best of his abilities. “Fellas!”

 

As he crossed the street, a car about to cross the intersection swerved and crashed into the sidewalk.

 

“Fellas!”

 

Butters made it across the street and ran over to the entrance of the LGBT Center.

 

Inside the lobby of the LGBT Center sat four kids. Tweek and Craig were on one sofa. The two of them were sitting with each other, Tweek resting his head on Craig’s side. The other couch sat Wendy and Stan, who were both watching a television show from an iPad screen. The two of them were sharing an earphone as well.

 

Inside an office of the LGBT Center were the new kid and Kyle. The two boys had been busy filing paperwork for the new addition of money donated by the Pentagon. They had been filing for about a third day, as they were both finding ways to split the money evenly.

 

“Fellas!” Butters yelled as he opened the door to the center. “Fellas!”

 

“Butters?” Stan turned his head, looking at the blonde boy entering through the double doors.

 

“Stan!” Butters ran over to the middle of where the two couches had intersected. “Everyone!”

 

“What’s going on Butters?” Wendy asked, safely removing the earphone off her ear.

 

“Fellas.” Butters said, one last time. “There’s a brand new store that opened in South Park!”

 

“Brand new store?” Craig asked. “What kind of store?”

 

“It’s not like any other store!” Butters explained, “It’s called… a boba store!”

 

The new kid jumped from their seat and immediately left the office. Kyle got up from his seat too. “New kid?” When he saw that the new kid ran out, Kyle followed, making sure none of the papers flew out.

 

“It’s run by a new Chinese couple that moved to South Park!” Butters told the group. “They’re next to the City Wok!”

 

“New kid?” Kyle walked out of the hallway and walked into the lobby. The new kid could be found standing next to Butters, who was standing in between the two sofas. “Butters? What’s going on?”

 

“Uncle Kyle!” Butters ran over to the red head, “They’ve opened up a new boba store?”

 

“Boba?” Kyle asked, not even sure what the hell this ‘boba’ was. “What the hell is it?”

 

Wendy read from the iPad, “it says on Google Boba is actually called bubble tea. It’s a Taiwanese tea-based drink invented in Tainan and Taichung in the 1980’s.”

 

“What’s going on?” Tweek asked, waking up to the commotion.

 

“Tweek! You’re awake!” Butters cheered, running over to him. “There’s a new boba store in town!”

 

“Is it open?” Craig asked.

 

“They’re open until midnight- come on let’s go!” Butters said, dragging the new kid’s arm towards the door.

 

Wendy stood up, “Wait, we can’t just drop everything. Who’s going to watch the center?”

 

“I’ll watch the center,” Kyle suggested, “I have paperwork to do anyways.”

 

Wendy and Kyle felt their phone vibrate, lifting their devices to see the new notification.

 

 

> We can go on a lunch break! Let’s go!

 

“New kid?” Wendy asked, “You want us to go?” She looked down to see a new message.

 

 

> Boba is amazing! I had it before a few years ago!

 

 

> COME ON LET’s GO!

 

“But new kid,” Kyle told them, “We can’t just drop everything and go.”

 

The new kid pouted for the first time, and walked over to Kyle. They grabbed Kyle’s arm, tugging the redhead towards the door.

 

“Screw it.” Craig told everyone. “We’re going. Kyle, lock up the damn door.”

 

“Fine.” Kyle fished out his eye from his pocket. “Everyone out.”

 

Butters and the new kid were the first to run out of the center, both excited to go to this new establishment. They were followed by Stan and Wendy, who walked hand in hand out the door. After them was Tweek and Craig.

 

“Are you tired Tweek?” Craig asked, opening his arm for Tweek to hold on to.

 

“I’m fine Craig.” Tweek gladly accepted the arm, gripping the hand with his. They both walked out of the center with Kyle following behind them.

 

Kyle fiddled with the keys in his hands as he turned around to lock the center. He made sure both doors were closed before inserting the key into the hole. After rotating it, he pushed the doors to assure himself the place was locked.

 

Kyle turned around, and saw that Butters was leading the group. Wendy and Stan, along with Tweek and Craig, were already at the intersection waiting. The new kid, however, was still at the door, waiting for him.

 

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Kyle said briefly. He walked over to where the new kid waited. The new simply smiled at Kyle, noting him that they should probably catch up with the others.

 

The new boba restaurant was built an establishment next to the ruins of City Sushi. The establishment itself wasn’t large- it was roughly the same size as the other restaurants in town. The building was white, the front was all windows and doors.

 

And the damn place was called CrusTea.

 

“CrusTea?” Kyle read the sign. The group of kids were now standing in the long queue that contained fifteen other kids on the outside. “What do they even serve here, anyways?”

 

“Hey New Kid,” Wendy asked, “You said you had boba before? What is it?”

 

The new kid texted on their phone to Wendy.

 

 

> You get a flavored tea and then you put tapioca balls inside.

 

Wendy read the message out loud.

 

“Tapioca balls?” Craig asked.

 

“Flavored tea?” Tweek asked. “Do they have coffee here?”

 

The new kid sighed and left the group. They walked into the store and came out a minute later with several take out menus.

 

The group each shared a menu with one another. “What the hell is milk tea?” Stan asked.

 

 

> Milk tea is black tea with milk and sweetener in it.

 

“Why does it say coffee milk tea?” Tweek asked.

 

 

> They can put other things inside the milk tea like roses or coffee or other sugars.

 

“What are toppings?” Craig asked.

 

 

> They’re additives that can be added into your drink.

 

“You mean, you can put pudding inside a drink?” Butters asked.

 

 

> Egg pudding. And I recommend that by the way.

 

“No offense new kid, but pudding in tea sounds disgusting.” Stan told the group.

 

“You can get slushees here?” Kyle asked.

 

 

> SLUSHIES*. They’re basically blended smoothies of your drink.

 

“Jesus! There are so many things here!” Tweek added.

 

 

> @Tweek I got a recommendation for you that I think you’ll like.

 

“A recommendation?” Tweek asked. “What is it?”

 

 

> It’s called Yuen Yeung. You’ll love it.

 

“Yueeen you-Ng?” Tweek asked, trying to pronounce it.

 

 

> ... better yet just say #38 on the menu.

 

* * *

 

The group of kids were finally inside the establishment. The place inside wasn’t as large, but there were a ton of kids inside the store. The place had several tables and chairs, all taken by other customers. Other customers either stood next to the walks or stood next to each other in the open space.

 

The employees turned out to consist of only Chinese people. They all wore orange T-shirts and blue jeans, all of them looking almost identical to the next.

 

“Next prease,” the cashier yelled.

 

“Hey- that’s me!” Butters cheered, running to the cashier.

 

“Welcome to CrusTea. May I take a order prease?”

 

“May I get a... milk tea?” Butters asked.

 

“Want boba in it?”

 

“Umm... okay!”

 

Butters handed the man a five, and he punched in the numbers and handed him back a dollar fifty.

 

Stan and Wendy walked together to the cashier after Butters escorted himself out.

 

“May I take a order prease?”

 

“Hey umm.” Stan was still looking at the menu. “Can I get a umm-“

 

“-I’ll get a rose milk tea please.” Wendy cut in.

 

“Rose milk tea. Boba?”

 

“Umm. Sure, I guess.” Wendy nodded to Stan. “I’ll get a ummm.”

 

The man behind the register looked infuriated.

 

“Milk tea?”

 

The man behind the register smiled back. “Boba?”

 

“No thanks. Can I get egg pudding?”

 

“Egg pudding? Anything erse?”

 

They both nodded no.

 

“Seven dollar prease.”

 

They both handed seven dollars to the man.

 

The new kid and Kyle walked up to the counter.

 

“May I get a-“ Kyle looked at the phone screen. “Thai tea with egg pudding?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And can I get a... mango green tea?”

 

“Green tea?” The man turned around, and turned back. “Okay. Boba?”

 

“Oh umm.... sure.”

 

The new kid already handed the man a ten before the man told them their total. They then grabbed a business card and handed it to the man.

 

Kyle watched as the man grabbed a stamp and stamped the back of the card five times. When they were given the change back, Kyle asked, “Why did you give him a stamp card?”

 

The new kid handed Kyle a stamp card, showing at the back of the card a table with ten spaces, five of them having a stamp.

 

Kyle read on the bottom, “Free medium drink when you get 10 stamps. Each stamp is one purchased drink- oh wow new kid this is cool.”

 

Tweek walked nervously to the cashier. In the midst of the line chaos, Craig walked off and went to use the bathroom. He still had yet to return.

 

“Can I get...” he looked at his phone. “A #38?”

 

The man looked at a folded menu he had on him and asked, “Boba?”

 

“Umm... okay.”

 

The man told Tweek. “Four dollar.”

 

“Oh wait,” Tweek told him, “I’m getting a second drink too. Can I get a grass jelly?”

 

The new kid smiled, seeing that Tweek took his recommendations.

 

“Eight dollar.”

 

Tweek handed him the money and walked off to join the group.

 

After waiting several minutes, Butters’ receipt number had been called, and he had gotten his drink. By that time, Kyle had been able to snag a table for the six of them to share.

 

Craig had returned from the bathroom, stating that the line was pretty long. He sat at the table, where he was greeted by a white drink with black balls at the bottom in a plastic cup.

 

“Is this... it?” Butters asked.

 

“They sealed the top,” Wendy told them, poking it with her finger. “How do you drink it?”

 

The new kid and Kyle came back to the table, passing everyone else’s drinks to them. Every kid had a drink in front of them, everyone but the the new kid was skeptical.

 

“Why is my drink pink?” Wendy asked. “And why are there flowers inside?”

 

“Oh sweet Jesus!” Tweek screamed.

 

 

> Those are edible flowers. Also, your drink is pink cuz it has flower flavors inside.

 

“Why is my drink browner than everyone else’s?” Tweek asked.

 

 

> There’s coffee inside that’s why.

 

“Why is my drink black?” Craig asked.

 

 

> Grass jelly is black.

 

“Why is your drink orange?” Kyle asked.

 

 

> Thai tea is made from tea leaves grown in Thailand. They’re different from the ones in Taiwan or China.

 

“New kid, how the hell do we drink this?” Wendy asked again, poking the top of her drink.

 

The new kid handed everyone a boba straw- straws in solid colors in plastic wraps. Everyone watched as the new kid took their straw out of the wrap and stab the drink plastic top with the sharp end. Everyone watched in amazement as the new kid picked it up and drank it.

 

“How is it?” Stan asked.

 

 

> You drink your own drinks guys!

 

 

> By the way this tea is pretty meh.

 

Tweek grabbed his straw out of the wrapper and forced it down on the top. Unfortunately, the straw bounced off the surface.

 

 

> More force Tweek. You need to stab the straw into the up.

 

Craig, Stan, Wendy, and Kyle were all able to get it the first try. Butters, however, stabbed it through with the flat end.

 

Kyle was the first to try his drink. He took a sip through his straw, and was able to suck up several boba along with his drink. His eyes opened wide as Kyle was surprised by the boba.

 

The boba themselves were really chewy. The sheer size of them entering Kyle’s mouth has startled them. Kyle was able to slowly drink his drink down without gagging. 

 

“Jesus Christ!” Kyle yelled. The new kid was silently laughing. “Boba is so weird.”

 

“Let me try.” Wendy took her drink down, drinking up several boba at the same time with her drink. “This is pretty good,” Wendy said, still having boba in her mouth. “The drink is great. And the boba,” she chewed, “is so chewy.”

 

Stan and Butters took a sip, and they had similar reactions.

 

“This is pretty good.” Stan told them. “The boba is so weird inside your mouth.”

 

“It’s so chewy!” Butters exclaimed. “I like these little black balls.”

 

Craig took a sip of his drink. He drank a powerful sip, expecting black pearls to come up the straw. Instead, strands of jelly came up through the straw. Although he was surprised, Craig was able to slowly drink all of the black jellies away before yelling at Tweek.

 

“Tweek; what the hell is this?” Craig asked.

 

“I don’t know. The new kid told me to order it.” Tweek told him, “And I didn’t know what to get you so I just used that.”

 

Craig turned to the new kid. “It was fucking amazing.”

 

Everyone looked at Tweek, the last one to try his drink. “Here goes,” he told everyone. His lips capsuled the end of the straw as he sucked on the red tube.

 

The brown liquid traveled up the tube carrying several boba pearls along with it. Tweek was careful and he was able to get just three in his mouth.

 

After swallowing the liquid, Tweek squished the boba with his back teeth before swallowing.

 

“Well Tweek.” Craig asked, “How was it?”

 

“This drink...” Tweek faced the new kid, “What’s in it?”

 

 

> Yuen Yeung is a mixture of black coffee and black tea.

 

“Black tea and black coffee?” Tweek asked, almost screaming. “Oh man! That’s too much pressure!”

 

“Babe calm down,” Craig told him, reaching his hand out.

 

“Criag, you don’t understand,” Tweek grabbed his hand. “This drink is-“

 

“OH HERR NURRR!”

 

Everyone in the establishment stopped talking as an old Asian man had appeared behind the counter. He also wore the uniform, but had a blue jacket on as well.

 

“WHAT IS DAT?” the man yelled, pointing to the kid’s direction. He walked around the counter and walked over to the table. “What the hell is dis?”

 

He was pointing to Tweek and Craig’s hand holding.

 

“We’re just holding hands,” Craig told him.

 

“GET OUT!” The man yelled. “GET OUT!!!”

 

“Hey what the hell?” Wendy stood up, slamming her hands to the table, “You can’t yell at a gay couple like that!”

 

“Get out! All of you get out!” The man yelled, referring to everyone at the table. “Get out or I call porice!”

 

“Fuck you old man!” Craig flipped him off.

 

“You can’t treat us like this!” Wendy yelled, “This is discrimination against the LGBT!”

 

“I don’t give a fuck!” The man pointed at the door. “Get out! Get out all of you!”

 

Craig stood up, balling his hand into a fist already. “No Craig.”

 

Craig turned around to Tweek. “It’s not worth it.”

 

“Yeah dude,” Kyle jumped in, “Its not worth it.”

 

The kids got up from their space and walked through the door, holding their drinks. The Chinese man kept barking at them; becoming even louder even though they were exiting the building.

 

“AND STAY OUT!” The man yelled, “ALL OF YOU!”

 

“What an asshole!” Wendy angrily yelled.

 

“Oh geez,” Butters said, holding his drink while rubbing his hands together. “They’re gonna hate us forever.”

 

“We can’t let them do this to us!” Kyle told everyone, “We have to do something about this.”

 

“I agree!” Tweek yelled. Everyone looked at Tweek.

 

“Tweek?” Craig asked, unsure why Tweek had spoken up. Usually, Tweek wasn’t the one to start conflicts.

 

“Craig,” Tweek said, lifting up his half finished drink, “This is the best thing in the world.”

 

* * *

 

Mr. Lu Kim was very angry.

 

He was angry for many reasons. For one, hehad just learned that more people buy his food for ammunition rather than for a meal. The second, business had been going downhill recently.

 

And the reason why was number three- the brand new boba shop that opened.

 

Looking outside his window, he can see the brand new store with it’s incredible line extending outside the door. “Goddamn it!”

 

“Why is it that a hard working Chinese man can’t open small Chinese restaurant without competition?” The Chinese snarled at his window, “Fuck you!”

 

The owner of City Wok ran out of his door and semi-jogged his way to the boba shop. When he was outside of the establishment, he ran straight in, not caring that there is a line. Once he went inside, he was met by another Chinese man.

 

“Fuck you!” Lu Kim shouted.

 

“Hey!” the man responded back, “Who the hell are you?”

 

“I da owner of da City Wok!” Lu Kim pointed at his shirt,“What the big meaning behind opening a Chinese restaurant next to my City Wok?”

 

“Wait,” The man pointed towards the door and the two men walked outside of the restaurant. Now, they were outside arguing. “You da owner of da City Wok?”

 

“Yeah!” He yelled back. “Why da hell when a Chinese man open da business you Chinese DOGS have to ruin everything?”

 

“Hey fuck you!” The man barked back.

 

“You not even mainland Chinese!” Lu Kim yelled.

 

“At least my food doesn’t take like a cat shit!” The man barked.

 

“OOO FUCK YOU!” Lu Kim sent a punch forward, landing it square in his forehead. The man was knocked back, landing on the floor with a thud. “Fuck you!”

 

The owner of City Wok turned around and walked back around the restaurant. The whole time, he rubbed his two hands together, smothering a plan in his hands.

 

* * *

 

Inside the kitchen of the LGBT center, Tweek slowly poured his pot of brewed coffee into a small cup. When the cup was thirty percent filled, Tweek stopped pouring the coffee and went to the next concoction: black tea. He poured the still-hot mixture into the cup, filling it to the eighty percent mark.

 

The mixture was swirled, turning into a light dark water. Tweek added two sugar packets into the mixture, watching the minute sweetener dissolve into the solution. Finally, the blonde poured two percent milk until the cup is filled- the mixture changed colors from dark to brown, looking even lighter than a cup of coffee.

 

Tweek capped the disposable cup and blew on the top a few times. He could still see a small puff of smoke leave the small mouth piece, but he ignored it as he took a sip.

 

Craig watched from a distance as Tweek got out his notepad, scribbling several notes onto the yellow pieces of paper. “Babe?”

 

Tweek turned to the noirette standing at the living room, watching from a distance. “Yeah Craig?”

 

“What are you doing?” Craig walked into the kitchen, noticing the third teen empty cups at the table. “And why are there so many cups?”

 

“I’m trying to make that drink from CrusTea,” Tweek told him. “The new kid told me how to spell it, and I found some recipes online. Did you know it’s actually called the black widow?”

 

Craig raised his brow, “Can I try it?”

 

Tweek handed him the freshly made cup, and Craig took a sip.

 

“The mixture isn’t sweet enough.” Craig told him. “The coffee element isn’t that strong either.”

 

“I’m just basing it on whole bean coffee and not espresso,” Tweek told him, “And I’m trying to not add an insane amount of sugar.”

 

Craig set the cup down next to Tweek, “This drink is really that good, huh?”

 

“Craig?” Tweek wrapped his arms around the taller boy, “Are you mad?”

 

Craig sighed, “I just miss you. That’s all.”

 

It had been sixteen hours since the group of kids had been kicked out of CrusTea. And during that gap Tweek had not napped at all. He was more focused on recreating the Black Widow drink than napping.

 

“Craig...” Tweek smiled, leaning his head to Craig’s chest. “You know I always love you.”

 

Tweek turned his head, resting his head onto the soft chest in front of him. He could hear the slightly risen heartbeat. He could sense the ridges and the bone in the boy’s chest. And the smell- Tweek could smell the smell of Craig’s jacket; it was recently washed and smelled of the precious fruit- tide pods.

 

Well, tide pods don’t really have a smell. But it did smell like laundry detergent.

 

The new kid smiled, still hiding behind the couch. They hadn’t intended to be this creepy actually. In fact, they were actually sitting at the couch finishing the remaining paperwork when Craig came back from doing his job. They had just jumped behind the couch, trying to remove the awkwardness of the situation.

 

Plus, they were recording the interaction for the #Creek fan club. But they weren’t expecting this to happen.

 

Tweek pushed himself up and locked his lips with Craig. Tweek’s arms slowly rose, sliding up and feeling the curvy shoulder blades of the taller boy. They lightly gripped his shoulders, helping the smaller boy hoist himself to the height.

 

Craig accepted the blonde. He wrapped his owns hands to the boy, keeping them at his waist. Craig could feel the curvy bony hips of the smaller boy. He could even feel the top of Tweek’s jeans, feeling the warm, soft skin of the boy.

 

The two kissing boys slowly waddled their way to the lobby, never letting go of their lip connection. As they waddled towards the kitchen, both boys blind because they wouldn’t open their eyes, they bumped into a wall. Tweek, being the one outside, still continued kissing Craig.

 

The new kid watched awkwardly as the two waddled their way into another wall, this time Tweek’s back hitting the structure. They stopped recording, setting their phone aside. After watching Craig and Tweek miss the way to the lobby a third time, they decided to give up. They hoisted up, and quickly, and silently, made their way to the hallway.

 

“Oh, hey new kid,” Kyle greeted them. “You wanna continue working? We need to file that report against CrusTea still.”

 

For the first time, the new kid quickly nodded, joining Kyle in the paper work.

 

* * *

 

 

Wendell and Stan were both at the mall; the two of them deciding to finally go on a small date with each other.

 

Well, really, a hang out.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Stan?” Wendell asked.

 

“Wendell,” he said with hesitation, “I need to get used to this. Please.”

 

“I’m not gonna hold back then.” Wendell smirked, “Let’s go here.”

 

The two kids walked into a store, and shopped around. They walked throughout the whole mall, browsing through every single male-targeted clothing store. After three hours, the two of them each had a bag of new clothes.

 

“Hey Stan,” Wendell admitted, “That was really fun.” The two of them sat down at a bench outside of the mall. “I’m glad we did this, you know.”

 

“Totally,” Stan said, scooting closer to the gender-fluid person next to him. “I’m glad you came out with me today.”

 

“Stan,” she whined, “Don’t phrase it like that.”

 

“Well then,” he turned to Wendell, “What do you want me to say?”

 

Wendell paused before staring back at Stan. “I’m glad we hung out today.”

 

Stan stretched his arm out, wrapping it around Wendell’s neck and shoulders. “I’m glad we hung out today.”

 

Wendell smiled laying his head onto Stan’s warm embrace, “I’m glad we did.”

 

The two kids stayed at the bench, ignoring the warming sun and the cooling winds of Colorado.

 

“Wendell...”

 

“Yes Stan?”

 

 

 

“I think I’m getting used to Wendell.”

 

“I see...”

 

 

 

“Wendell?”

 

“Hmm-“

 

Stan’s lips connected to Wendell’s, surprising the gender-fluid human. They touched for two seconds before Stan let go, not even giving a chance for Wendell to close his eyes.

 

“Stan...” Wendell whispered.

 

“I...” Stan was thinking. His mind wanted him to stop; his heart wanted more. There was something inside him that made him want to play with the devil’s temptation.

 

“Do you... want more?” Wendell asked.

 

“I.... I-“ Stan could feel his insides twisting, his mind alerting him to stop. “I don’t know...”

 

“Stan, I won’t force you.” Wendell scooted back, keeping a safe six inches away from Stan. “Just... I want you to be comfortable. That’s all.”

 

Stan scooted the six inches towards Wendell and set his arm around Wendell’s waist. “Wendell... I’m just not feeling well. That’s all.”

 

“Stan, are you feeling alright?” Wendell placed his hand over Stan’s forehead. He also placed his hand on his own forehead. “Stan, you’re pretty warm.”

 

“Wendell...” Stan collapsed next to him, completely falling over him.

 

“Stan!”

 

“Stan!”

 

 

 

“Stan!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The new kid and Kyle were inside the office finishing the last of their paperwork.

 

So far, the police report about CrusTea’s treatment to Tweek and Craig has been completed. They also filed the rest of the forms concerning the damages done to the LGBT Center. Now, they were filing up the government’s giant fund into the system, trying to make it seem not shady at all.

 

“Hey New Kid,” Kyle asked, “I always wanted to ask you something.”

 

The new kid looked up while still typing in the remains of their work into the computer.

 

“Is your name really Dovahkiin?” Kyle watched as the new kid finished typing the last of the statements before hitting submit. Only the two of them were in the room; they were both sitting next to each other at the side of the desk, watching the monitor and computer process the newly submitted reports.

 

When they were done, the new kid pulled out their phone and started texting the red head.

 

> That’s what the government called me. My parents call me something else.

 

“But I’ve been to your home before,” Kyle remembered, “Your mom always called you sweetie.”

 

The new kid breathed before typing and sending,

 

> I honestly don’t remember.

 

> I lost my memories before moving to South Park. And thus I don’t remember who I was before.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Kyle reacted, “And you’re okay with this?”

 

The new kid breathed again, and typed,

 

> I’m slowly regaining my memories. Someone is helping me with them.

 

Kyle felt less sad about that news. “Oh, okay.” Kyle turned around and stood up. His plan was to get up and to move the stack of completed filed papers into the cabinets, but he could only stop and stare at the new kid type on the computer keyboard.

 

For the first time, Kyle felt stuck for the new kid. His head kept focus on the black silky hair of the Asian kid in front of them. This feeling that Kyle was feeling was something he had felt many times before- the feelings of empathy.

 

> Is something bothering you, Kyle?

 

Kyle dismissed the tear in his eye. “How can you live not knowing what happened before?”

 

The new kid turned around on the swirly chair, fully facing Kyle.

 

“How do you live the fact that you had friends before that you’ve completely forgotten?” Kyle’s hands tightened, gripping the air in his grasps. “What if you were completely happy before? Before your memory was lost?”

 

The new kid’s blank stare was all that Kyle could see. They didn’t react any other way. The same monotonic lips and the same monotonic eye expression. Kyle watched as the new kid pulled out their phone.

 

> I hope you realize everything you said can be applied the other way around.

 

> What if I had no friends before losing my memory? What if I was sad and depressed before I lost my memory?

 

> And Kyle, living life is about living in the present. After all, the present is a gift. The past is history. And the future is waiting for us to catch up.

 

Kyle sniffled, smiling at the new kid’s positive spin on his logic. He didn’t even realize that the new kid had stood up.

 

And they hugged him.

 

Kyle could feel the awkward warm embrace of the kid in front of him. The new kid was only slightly taller than him. Their head had leaned right, and Kyle’s head went right. He could feel the new kid’s arms reach around, their right arm at his shoulder and their left at his left side.

 

And for once, Kyle felt brand new feelings. He could slightly smell the lavender in their hair; and it was flooding his chest with jittery feelings. As Kyle’s hands slowly slid up, actually folding so he was also hugging the new kid, he could feel his arms stiffen. He could also feel his back and legs straighten upward, both actions making his heart beat fast and faster.

 

“ _What’s happening?”_

 

And all of this was making Kyle not breathe. Not choking, but it was like Kyle was frozen in place. His lungs pounded for air, his brain sending him signals to breathe. But something in him was making him hold his breath.

 

After remaining in that position, Kyle’s mouth opened, his body gasping for air. His mouth opened the size of a coin before he heard,

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

The new kid left the office, smiling as they went to the bathroom.

 

Kyle was on the floor, huddling at the small corner next tot the wall. His heart was racing and his chest was sweating. His eyes kept blinking and his mouth keeping gasping for air.

 

For the first time, he had realized how nice the new kid’s voice sounded.

 

* * *

 

“Okay guys,” Wendy slammed her fist into the palm of her other hand, “We need to go to CrusTea to give them a piece of our minds!”

 

“Umm, Wendy.” Stan raised his hand, “We’re also going to give them their lawsuit.”

 

“Right!” Wendy slammed her fist into her other palm again. “New kid, Kyle? You ready?”

 

The new kid nodded a yes. Kyle was staring at the new kid the whole time.

 

“Kyle?”

 

Kyle snapped back into reality and stared at Wendy. “I’m sorry. Yeah, I’m ready.”

 

Within minutes of walking, they had arrived at CrusTea. The shop was open, but only a few customers were inside the facility. They were mostly teenagers and younger adults. The four of them entered the boba shop, walking up to the cashier.

 

“Welcome to CrusTea how can I- hey!” The cashier yelled, “You kids are banned here!”

 

Wendy spoke up first, “We’re suing CrusTea for discrimination against members of the LGBTQ spectrum.”

 

The cashier sighed, “Fine.” He pointed to the door leading to the back. “The office is to the right behind that door. My manager is in there.”

 

“Oh.” Stan lead the group, pushing the door open for them. The four kids entered the back of CrusTea. The rest of the back was a kitchen, pantry, and an employee bathroom. The office door was to their right.

 

Wendy opened the door, letting the other three kids in first before closing the door behind her.

 

“Who the hell are you?” The manager asked. “Fuck, it’s you kids again. I thought I told you shits to fuck off.”

 

Wendy waved the folder and slammed it on the desk. “We’re suing CrusTea for discrimination against kids of LGBTQ identification.”

 

“You guys can’t sue me!” the manager barked, “You kids aren’t even old enough.”

 

“Oh, we’re not suing you. The LGBT Center of South Park is.” Wendy flashed her president’s badge and card. “In the name of the LGBT Center in South Park, we’re suing CrusTea for discrimination against LGBT members.”

 

“Nooo!” The manager wailed, “You can’t do that!”

 

“Why not?” Wendy barked back.

 

“Because!” The manager snapped his fingers, and the room instantly became dark.

 

“Everyone!” Wendy yelled, “Stay close!”

 

The four kids slowly backed up into a pile, each of them with their backs to each other.

 

“What the hell-“ Kyle was dragged forward, Wendy and the new kid almost tripping with Kyle not supporting them. “AHHHHH!”

 

“They got Kyle!” Wendy yelled.

 

Stan exited the pile and ran to the door, waving his hands around the walls for a light switch. Wendy grabbed her phone and turned on her flashlight. The new kid followed suit.

 

The first thing they found was red. The sight of a red shell in front of the flash lights.

 

“What the fuck!” Wendy yelled, being tossed back.

 

The new kid slammed both of his fists into the floor, his hands sending energy into the ground. Within seconds, multiple roots sprouted throughout the ground, attacking everything in front of him.

 

“NOooooo!” A robotic voice yelled.

 

“Gah!” Kyle yelled as he fell to the floor.

 

“This is not over!” the voice yelled again. This time, the four kids heard the light sounds of tapping around them. The taps started on the floor, and it slowly traveled to the entrance of the room.

 

“What the hell!” Wendy yelled, getting herself standing.

 

“AHHH!” Stan yelled, feeling a sharp feeling at his left hand.

 

“Stan!” Wendy yelled.

 

The door of the room opened, blinding everyone with the bright lights of the outside. The voice laughed as it grabbed Stan and dragged him outside the office.

 

The new kid ran to the door and turned the light switch back on. When the lights illuminated the room, it revealed several key notes. First, there was several holes on the floor, curtesy of the new kid and the thing that came about. Secondly, there were slight holes pierced on the floor, trialing to the ceiling and the walls and to the exit. Third, there was blood on the floor.

 

“Kyle!” Wendy ran to the Jewish boy on the floor. The only blood that came out was a straight punch to the nose. His shirt was also ripped.

 

“W-where’s Stan?” Kyle asked.

 

“Stan’s missing!” Wendy told him, “We’ll get him back.”

 

The new kid tapped Wendy’s shoulder, noting to the door.

 

“You’re right.” Wendy patted Kyle’s back, “We need to get out and call the police.”

 

* * *

 

Lu Kim was angry.

 

After the punch from the night before, rumor had spread that there was now a war between him and the owner of CrusTea on who was the better Chinese person- and restaurant owner.

 

“Chinese dawg!” he cursed, “You better be ready, because I will be a little sneaky today.” He even rubbed his hands as he left his restaurant.

 

When he had arrived at the boba shop, the shop was entirely empty inside. There were zero customers inside, leaving the cashier to be the only one in the room other than him.

 

“Can I speak to manager prease?” Lu Kim asked.

 

“Okay.” The cashier walked to the back, and through the door appeared the Chinese manager.

 

“Oh, hello!” The Chinese manager praised, “I heard so much about you, you must be very rich and famous!”

 

“Oh wha?” Lu Kim asked. “What the fuck? No I’m very angry at you!”

 

“Angry? What did I do wrong?” Chinese manager asked. “Did we make your drink wrong?”

 

“What? No you didn’t make my fucking drink wrong!” He pointed to the door, “You opened your shitty boba shop next to my City Wok!”

 

Lu Kim also noticed something.

 

“Wait a minute-“ He searched the Chinese man’s forehead, “Where the scar?”

 

“Scar?”

 

“I gave you very big scar on your head! I punched your stupid face-“ he said, punching the man’s forehead.

 

The Chinese man in front of Lu Kim instantly knocked out; they landed back first into the floor, blacking out instantly.

 

“And stay the fuck down!” Lu Kim left the establishment, not even caring that his hand was covered in blood.

 

As he was walking back, he started to realize something different about the Chinese man. Something was very off about him. He had no recollection of Lu Kim and the punch he sent the night before; he was really nice; and to top it off, he seemed to be a very big fan of him.

 

And that’s when Lu Kim realized.

 

The Chinese man from the night before was not the same as the one he met tonight.

 

* * *

 

Stan woke up to the sounds of chains rattling.

 

“Shush!” the robotic voices were back. “He’s gaining consciousness.”

 

Stan’s crusty eyes opened, his vision blurred. His head was spinning in different directions- even though it was stationary.

 

As his vision was clearing, Stan noticed that his body was immobilized. He was restrained from the belly up, his legs bound together as well. And there was a sharp pain in his hand.

 

“Wh-where am I?” Stan asked, loudly and as clear as he can pronounce.

 

“You are in the deep caves of the CRAB PEOPLE!”

 

Stan’s vision cleared enough to reveal a red crab standing in front of him. “Crab people!”

 

“Yes, human!” The crab person waved his claws in the air, “We are Crab people!”

 

_Crab, people. Crab, people. Talk like crab, walk like people._

 

“What the hell do you guys want?” Stan yelled, struggling to move in his restraints.

 

“We want to take over the world!” The crab person yelled. “And this time, the plan is full-proof!”

 

Stan didn’t even noticed the crab people behind him. He was suddenly hoisted up and carried down a cave. He looked around, seeing that the stones all looked alike.

 

When they set Stan down, Stan was faced towards a bigger Crab person. They had a similar ascetic as the King Crab person, but this time, they had a bushel of white hair on top.

 

“I am the Queen of Crab people!” The queen announced, her voice sounding more feminine but robotic.

 

“What the hell do you want?” Stan asked.

 

“I just want revenge.” The queen walked over to Stan, placing the end of her claw next to Stan’s neck. “I want revenge for the death of my husband.”

 

* * *

 

 

At night, the boba was completely filled with kids. Students, young adults, and others were waiting outside as the boba shop was completely filled to the capacity with other customers.

 

Call Girl, Human Kite, Buttlord, Wonder Tweek, and Super Craig stood outside of the compounds, looking at the shop in formation. 

 

“You guys got the plan?” Call Girl asked.

 

“Got it girlfriend!” Wonder Tweek said, shaking while holding Super Craig’s hand.

 

“Wonder Tweek,” Call Girl yelled, “I thought we agreed to this!”

 

Buttlord walked forward, and patted the ground.

 

“3.”

 

The roots sprouted from the ground, becoming foot in diameter brown roots that sprouted several feet into the air.

 

“2.”

 

The rootsbent forward, aiming themselves towards the windows of the restaurant.

 

“1.”

 

When the roots created contact, the glasses of the windows shattered forward. Everyone backed away as random roots clung on to the walls and support beams of the front.

 

“Everyone!” Call Girl yelled, “Now!”

 

The superheroes charged forward as the shards of glass landed on the ground.

 

Wonder Tweek and Super Craig were first in the attack. As the customers ducked their heads down, Wonder Tweek flew into the air, throwing bolts of lighting at the registers. “Thunderbolts and lighting!” he yelled, striking the cashiers and the people behind the bar.

 

“Omega Crash Extra!” Craig yelled as he charged forward. His long legs stretched during each step, allowing his body to carry more momentum as his body slammed against the employee door. The entire door broke as the hinges were unable to support the crashing force. Part of the door laid on the ground, other shard pieces surrounding the wreckage.

 

“Thanks Super Craig!” Call Girl yelled, jumping over him.

 

“Good luck!” Human Kite yelled as he glided over the boy.

 

Buttlord jumped over Craig, giving a captain’s nod as the three of them charged into the back.

 

“What the hell is dis?” The Chinese boss yelled as he came out of the office door.

 

“Your worst nightmare!” Super Craig yelled, “Mega Fist Punch!” he punched the man square in the stomach. The Chinese man was blasted backwards, knocking back into the desk of the office.

 

“Super Craig,” Wonder Tweek called as he entered the back, “Eros Eruption?”

 

Super Craig smiled, “Eros Eruption.”

 

* * *

 

“What the hell do you want?” Stan demanded.

 

“I want to gain revenge for my husband!” The Queen yelled. “You see, puny human!”

 

A group of Crab people entered the hall, dragging in a giant white board with several pictures and diagrams drawn in there.

 

“My husband was able to get me all the bandwidth the crab people needed to research for a new way to take over the world,” the Queen explained. “And we learned from our mistakes with trying to turn the men in the world gay.”

 

“Then what the hell is your plan?” Stan asked.

 

“Our plan… is to turn the whole world gay!” The queen laughed maniacally. “Using a new concoction, we spiked every boba drink upstairs with a secret serum. And this serum make people not straight!”

 

“Wait what?” Stan asked.

 

“Ugg, let me explain, ma’m.” One crab person suggested.

 

“Fine,” the queen permitted, “be quick.”

 

The crab person stepped forward. “Basically, this serum makes straight people into gay people, and gay people turn into bigger gay people.”

 

Stan gasped as he realized what the serum did, “Then what about pansexual people?”

 

“Pansexual? The crab person thought about it, “I guess it makes them more gay? I don’t know.”

 

“Jesus Christ!” Stan yelled.

 

“Shut up!”

 

* * *

 

“Tweek?” Craig called, punching a crab person.

 

“Craig! Behind you!” Tweek sent an icicle spike behind Craig, freezing the crab person behind him.

 

After several minutes of fighting the people, and the people evacuating, all the employees molted and and revealed that they were crab people. The two boys had been fighting for a solid five minutes so far.

 

“I’m starting to get tired of punching!” Craig said as he landed another Mega Fist Punch into a Crab person’s face. The crab person feel forward, unconscious.

 

“Me too, Craig!” Tweek sent a fury of lightening bots in a T formation, striking several crab people at once.

 

As the two continued battling the horde of Crab people, the two of them realized that there were simply more crab people coming.

 

_Crab People. Crab people. Looks like Crab. Fights like people._

 

“Tweek!” Craig yelled, “Watch out!”

 

Tweek grabbed a floating icicle and shielded himself as a Crab person slammed their clawhorizontally to Tweek. The blonde was sent back, his icicle breaking from impact. Craig ran over to the blonde, turning his back on him.

 

“Tweek,” Craig lifted his hand, pointing his middle finger at the crowd, “Are you okay?”

 

“Ugg,” Tweek coughed, “I’m feeling that one in the morning.”

 

A crab person ran forward and stabbed his claw at Craig, but his shield blocked the way.

 

“We can’t take them!” Tweek yelled, “This is too much pressure!”

 

Craig was about to reply, but a force sent him flying back, breaking his shield. A crab person had just tackled Craig.

 

“Craig!” Tweek formed a blue orb in his hands, and sent it to the blue boy. The orb burst into water, sending droplets of health back at the Noirette.

 

“Tweek!” Craig cried.

 

“Craig!” Tweek cried.

 

 

 

 

“Not so fast!”

 

The crab people turned around to see Lu Kim dressed in a warrior’s outfit. It was entirely red samurai-like armor, Lu Kim weirded dual swords, the back of his costume extending to reveal banners and his chest to be stamped with the City Wok logo.

 

 

“I’m gonna do my war dance now.” Lu Kim lifted his arms into position.

 

The crab people watched as Lu Kim simply waved his arms and swords at random places, his mouth making the weirdest sounds.

 

They didn’t even realize what would happen, as Lu Kim swiped his sword upward, decapitating a crab person.

 

“Oh no!” Another crab person yelled, “Retreat!”

 

As the crab people were retreating back to the kitchen, Lu Kim was swiping everywhere, beheading and amputating Crab people left and right. Craig and Tweek helped as well, punching and shocking the crab people from escaping.

 

* * *

 

Stan watched as the Queen crab walked towards the center of the cave. Her red shell glistening in the lights of the stone crystals.

 

“The world will soon be in my hands,” she announced, “And there’s nothing you puny humans can do!”

 

At the entrance of the cave, two crab people were struck down. The new kid jumped down from the ledge, landing perfectly on his legs in a somersault and a backflip.

 

“UGG!” The queen shouted, “Take care of them!”

 

Human Kite glided into the cave, carrying Call Girl under him.

 

“Oh no you don’t!” Call Girl let go of Human Kite’s legs as she dropped down to the floor. She extended her two selfie sticks, reading herself for combat. Human Kite dropped and spun landed next to the gadgeteer. His kite was already extended and behind held with only his right hand. The new kid ran forward, completing the trio.

 

“You three heroes are too late!” The queen roared, “for I have developed more powers since my husband had been destroyed!”

 

“Wait a minute-“ Wendy remembered back at the D-Mobile store, “You’re the queen?”

 

“Of course Sweetie!” The queen opened her two giant claws, “Get ready for battle!”

 

The new kid ran forward, being the first to lead the attacks.

 

“Watch out new kid!” Human Kite threw his kite into the air, guiding it with his mind to protect Buttlord. The shield struck the ground in front of the farting superhero, granting him protection. The new kid jumped over the kite, continuing to the queen.

 

Wendy ran forward as well, shortly following the new kid. The new kid threw his spirit forward, moving though the air to go behind the squid before knocking her forward.

 

“Hey!” She yelled.

 

Call Girl raised both selfie sticks before smacking them both to the Queen. The sticks simply reflected off the shell.

 

“Don’t be foolish!” The queen jumped up and slammed the ground, sending both Wendy and the new kid backwards. “I have more power than you two could even think!”

 

“Jesus!” Call Girl cursed, “How is the queen this powerful?”

 

The Queen chuckled, hearing the girl’s question.

 

“You see, I also had a secret weapon against anyone in my way!” The queen lifted her sector at her back, holding it forward in front of her. The sceptor glowed red as she lifted it into the air.

 

“Look out!” Human Kite yelled, dodging the laser.

 

“Mua ha ha ha!” The queen laughed, “You guys are so fucked!”

 

“Jesus Christ!” Human Kiteyelled, “Her health just doubled and her ability and attack multiplied by three!”

 

“Three?” Wendy yelled, asking fo clarification.

 

“Yes!” Human Kite looked at the queen’s scepter. “It’s that scepter! The orb is giving her power!”

 

“But what the hell is that power?” Call Girl asked.

 

“Wendy…”

 

Wendy turned her head and saw Stan chained to the chair, his head mounted in place.

 

“Stan!”

 

“Call Girl.” Stan coughed, his throat dried from yelling, “Her powers…”

 

Human Kite nodded as he ran forward, allowing Call Girl to run over to Stan.

 

“Stan!” Call Girl started looking for knots in the string first.

 

“Wendy.” Stan coughed, “Her powers.”

 

“What Stan?”

 

The new kid patted the ground, sprouted roots from the ground and aiming them at the queen.

 

“They’re… they’re-“

 

Human Kite sent a laser forward, dealing critical damage to the queen's legs.

 

“They’re so powerful… because…”

 

“Tell me Stan!”

 

“Because…”

 

“Stan!”

 

“Because they know de wae.”

 

 

 

 

“Wait what?”

 

The queen laughed, her laughter echoing across the cave slash chasm. “He’s right. My secret weapon is Ugandan Knuckles.” A tiny cartoon derpy Knuckles appeared on the red orb of her scepter. “With the broadband my husband created, all we needed to do to make myself popular is to make a meme and to spread it online.”

 

“And within months, we were able to create the perfect meme! A meme that will never die! A meme that will become meme of the month two months in a row!” The queen struck her scepter to the ground, knocking back Human Kite and the New Kid. “We made Ugandan Knuckles! And now that popularity is going to my scepter!”

 

_Crab people. Crab people. Talks like crab, memes like people._

 

“Jesus Christ!” Call Girl cursed. “She’s too powerful!”

 

“Surrender now heroes!” the queen yelled. “I am the most powerful being on this Earth!”

 

“Never!” Call Girl yelled. “We will never give up!”

 

Human Kite got up, raising his kite along side with him. “We’ll keep on fighting. Even if it’s the last resort!”

 

“Nonsense-“ the queen was cut off as she felt several roots stab into her legs. “AHHHH!” she screamed.

 

“I’m going in!” Call Girl sprinted forward, lifting her dual selfie sticks into optimal combat position. Human Kite sent a last forward, striking one of the legs of the queen. The queen fell down to that side, their leg too damaged to stand properly.

 

“Hya!” Call Girl struck her selfie sticks twice before doing a backflip, slamming them both into the back shell of the crab.

 

“Enough!” The queen swung her claws around her, sending Call Girl backwards. She landed several feet away, rolling and lying on the ground. “I must end all of you now!”

 

Before she could step forward, a root sprung forward, blocking her from reaching Call Girl. The queen turned around, seeing the new kid still on the floor.

 

The Queen lifted her dual crab claws and slammed them heavily on the ground. The ripples traveled across the ground, shaking the rocks and support of the cave.

 

The new kid jumped over the ripple and started one of their core energies in his stomach. They stopped and squatted, reading themselves.

 

The queen lifted one of her crab claws, and slammed it directly onto the new kid. But instead of it going down, the claw went back to its original position. Standing next to the new kid was a younger version- a secondary Buttlord.

 

“Call Girl,” Human Kite spun his kite around, creating a tailwind around him. Call Girl was pulled back to be in front of Kyle, feeling the winds slowly repair her as she sat there watching.

 

“Human Kite,” Call Girl asked, “What just happened?”

 

“The new kid,” Human Kite explained, “They summoned a past version of themselves. And it looks like they’re winning.”

 

The two watched as two sets of roots sprouted, piercing through the shell of the legs of the Queen Crab Person. “See?”

 

“Woah,” Call Girl brought her phone out, recording the new kid fighting. Watching the new kid fight in front of them, especially in a sideways orientation, reminded her of a side scroller. “That’s cool.”

 

“That is really cool.” Human Kite walked forward, patting Call Girl’s shoulder. “They practically got this. Should we free Stan?”

 

“Oh my god Stan!”

 

* * *

 

Within minutes later, the queen was defeated. The heroes, including Tweek and Craig, watched as the new kid was able to spilt the queen open in half, killing her and splattering her insides everywhere.

 

“Gross!” Human Kite yelled, covering his nose. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

“Good idea,” Call Girl giggled, holding her nose.

 

And within more minutes later, the heroes were waiting outside as the police arrived at the scene. Lu Kim had left after helping Tweek and Craig win their battle against the Crab People armies. When they came, they immediately vacated the facility, scouting out for any more crab people. Even Detective Harris had arrived, looking around with heavy armor as he explored the downstairs cave.

 

As the heroes waited outside of the facility, filling in the officers of the events that occurred, Tweek smiled happily.

 

“Why are you smiling?” Craig asked.

 

“Because.” Tweek flashed a white index card filled with information. “I found their recipe for Yuen Yeung!”

 

“Umm Tweek.” Stan interrupted, his hand wrapped with gauze and cotton balls. “They spiked their drinks with a serum.”

 

“WAIT WHAT?” Tweek asked in a loud voice, “They did WHAT!?”

 

“They spiked the boba drinks with a serum that makes straight people gay and gay people more gay.” Stan explained, “And Wendy, I’m sorry about our date yesterday.”

 

“That was from the serum, Stan.” Wendy set a kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“I’m worrying about it!” Tweek yelled, his turn flushing red. “If that made us more gay…”

 

The new kid eyes’ widened, realizing what Tweek would say next.

 

“Then… Craig!”

 

Craig looked over to the blonde, “What did that do?”

 

“WE MADE OUT FOR THREE HOURS!” Tweek yelled.

 

Wendy, Kyle, and the new kid cracked a smile as they continued to watch Tweek freak out about a three hour make out session. Meanwhile, this whole time, Craig was laughing.

 

“It’s not funny!” Tweek pouted.

 

“But Tweek,” Craig whined, “that was really fun.”

 

“IT WAS DANGEROUS!” Tweek shouted, “WHAT IF WE BROKE SOMETHING?”

 

“We wouldn’t of broken anything.”

 

“GAH! What if someone walked in on us?”

 

“What if they did walk in on us?

 

“GHAHHHHHHAHSDFHASDF!”

 

* * *

 

The next day rolled in as a giant wrecking ball destroyed the facade known as CrusTea. After contacting the government, the Pentagon had sent several agents to investigate the caves to see if more Crab People were in the systems. As they roamed the caves, the entire building was scrapped and covered.

 

And now, people were rioting once more outside the wreckage.

 

“This is bullshit!” Randy yelled into the microphone. “The public is allowed to know what the fuck happened here!”

 

“Geez Randy,” an agent sighed, “We already stated that a bear had attacked the boba shop.”

 

“A bear did not attack a boba shop!” Randy yelled, “ Bears don’t even like boba.”

 

The agent rolled his eyes. Once again, this would become a long debate.

 

As the night rolled into South Park, the cold winter winds finding itself blowing into the Colorado Mountains once again, Kyle found himself alone and outside.

 

“Why did I do this to myself?” Kyle asked, actually shivering in the cold. In his hands held a small bouquet of flowers.

 

_“_ This is stupid.” Kyle told himself, walking from the LGBT Center to his destination. “This is really really stupid.”

 

He was going to do it. He was finally willing to give into courage.

 

He was finally going to ask the new kid out.

 

“Why am I doing this to myself. I could be at home…” Kyle walked across a street. “I could be in my warm bed.”

 

As Kyle strolled down the sidewalk, entering the neighborhood of houses, Kyle thought about the possibilities. “I could of been playing GTA 5.”

 

“I could play with Ike.”

 

“I could go to sleep.”

 

But as Kyle was coming up with more and more possibilities, he found himself stuck with ideas.

 

“I could count to ten.”

 

 

“I could lie in bed.”

 

“Warm.”

 

Kyle stopped in his tracks as he found himself at the bus stop.

 

“or I could go to the new kid’s house.”

 

Out of all the things he said that night, that sounded to be the best idea.

 

Kyle walked a few more steps before stumbling onto the red house next to the bus stop.

 

“The new kid’s house.” He said out loud.

 

Kyle continued staring at the red house, observing its outside features.

 

“It looks like my house… but red.”

 

Kyle pulled his phone out, and checked his notifications.

 

Meet me at my house. 8:30 pm. Sharp.

 

That was the only thing the new kid texted. Kyle cursed himself as he checked his watch. 8:25. It was about time to go in.

 

Kyle walked over to the front door, knocking on it twice. He waited only for a minute before someone opened it from the other side. It was the new kid’s mother.

 

“Oh, hey Kyle!” The mother greeted, “Come on in! It’s really cold outside!”

 

“Thank you.” Kyle said, walking into the warm home.

 

“My sweetie pie is upstairs,” she said, smiling at Kyle. “Have fun tonight.”

 

“Thank you.” Kyle said once again.

 

Kyle walked up the flight of stairs and entered the second floor of the home. He could remember where everything was from the morning he woke up here. He remembered where the new kid’s room was; what brand tooth paste they use; what the new kid’s room looked like.

 

Kyle stood behind the door of the new kid’s room. He took a deep breath before knocking on it once.

 

“New kid?”

 

No answer.

 

“New kid?”

 

No answer.

 

Kyle then remembered that they won’t answer, since they don’t talk. His hand landed on the golden door knob, twisting it clockwise.

 

As the door slowly opened, Kyle realized that the new kid wasn’t alone.

 

“Mysterion?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I wanted to point some things out.
> 
> First off, this is a mid-season finale, is it not? Wow I'm already half way through this series. Jesus Christ.
> 
> Secondly, the drink Tweek gets is called yuen yeung. It's a real drink, and usually it's made using 3/10 espresso and 7/10 milk tea. If you go to Hong Kong, this drink is really popular there. 
> 
> Third, yes I used fucking Ugandan Knuckles. I'm sorry. Also, if this seems rushed, it's because this chapter became way too long. So I had to cut some parts out, save them for next time, and shorten a lot of things. And this chapter is still 9500 words. I actually wrote a whole sequence with the Queen Crab person, but I just cut it. It was similar to the Manbearpig fight, and honestly that just confused the fuck out of me. And I fucking wrote that.
> 
> Another thing I wanted to talk about. OOOOOO NO SPOOPY COMMENTS ABOUT LIFE AND EXISTENTIALISM OOOO. I WONDER WHY. 
> 
> Finally, I just want to thank everyone who comments on these. Jesus, I feel so proud and jittery whenever I check my email and AO3 sends me an email with ____ left a comment or left a kudos. It warms my heart.
> 
> You know, I always have a lot shit I want to mention here, but when I'm actually publishing this chapter, I totally blank out and I forget what I was about to say. Welp. Thanks guys, gals, and nonbinary pals.
> 
> -Negira1239


	7. Casa Bonita 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The LGBT Center, plus Stan, take a break at Casa Bonita. Trouble ensues as Eric Cartman appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact, this chapter is actually on the shorter end. After writing two consecutive chapters that each have over 9000 words, I really needed to cool down on the story. 
> 
> Remember, contact me here or on Tumblr on Negira1239sp if you have questions, comments, or concerns. I will always respond to comments and stuff. Let me know if anything doesn't make sense or if you need more clarification. 
> 
> Thanks guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

The sun was shining brightly onto the open road of the mountains. It was a cloudless sky as the open bounty of nature’s essence flourished the land.

 

Craig’s hand tightened his grip as he watched the world pass by him through the open window. Outside, they were passing by so many trees; so many mountains; so many beautiful things. He really wanted to go outside.

 

“Craig?”

 

Craig turned his head as Tweek asked, “Are you feeling okay?”

 

Craig sighed. He hated car rides. “How much longer until we get there?”

 

“It takes an hour to get there Craig,” Wendy announced. “Just wait patiently until then.”

 

“But I hate sitting in the back.”

 

The car consisted of seven seats. Driving the vehicle was Randy Marsh; Stan was in the passenger seat in the front; Wendy, the new kid, and Kyle sat left to right; and finally Tweek and Craig both in the back.

 

“Why am I in the back?” Craig asked, “I’m the tallest kid here.”

 

“Shut up Craig,” Stan told him, shouting across the car, “My dad’s car, my dad’s rules.”

 

“Yeah Craig,” Randy emphasized. “Plus, you get more space sideways by sitting in the back.”

 

And idea popped into Craig’s head, an idea that will definitely work.

 

The group of kids were on their way to the promised place Kyle had mentioned before- Casa Bonita. After fighting Manbearpig and the Crab People, Wendy decided that they should all take a vacation day and relax. And that’s when Kyle brought up Casa Bonita.

 

Craig took his seat belt off and scooted to the middle spot, catching Tweek’s attention.

 

“What are you doing?” Tweek asked, “Why did you take off your seat belt?”

 

“Relax Tweek,” Craig assured, “It’s for a quick second.”

 

Craig wore the middle seat seatbelt as he rotated his body towards the left- counterclockwise. As his body laid sideways on the back seats of the car, Craig was able to stretch his longer legs to the other seat. He laid his head on Tweek’s lap.

 

Tweek watched as Craig somehow went to sleep, watching the Noirette lightly snore away. He noticed how Craig’s hair was slightly growing longer; strands of hair were sticking out of his hat.

 

And he smiled, because he could see the famous strands of gray hair in the middle. Craig had been blessed with midnight black hair, but he also had been blessed with a patch of gray hair in the center. This meant Craig had two different hair colors.

 

Meanwhile, in the middle row, Kyle fiddled with his fingers.

 

It had been a few days since he came to the new kid’s house with a bouquet of flowers. After finding Mysterion in the room with the new kid, Kyle immediately threw the bouquet into the vase that was in the hallway in between the new kid’s door and their parent’s door.

 

“New kid?” Kyle announced, entering the room. “Mysterion?”

 

“Kyle,” Mysterion greeted. “New kid, what’s going on?”

 

The new kid sighed, grabbing their phone and texting Kenny. 

 

> I’m inviting Kyle tonight.

 

“No dude,” Mysterion sounded a bit angry, “We can’t bring Kyle! No offense but he’ll fuck it up!”

 

“Kenny!” Kyle yelled, angry that Kenny would yell something like that. “I don’t even know what you guys are doing anyways.”

 

“It’s best that you stay home.” Mysterion walked over to the red head, who had fully entered the room and closed the door behind him. “You don’t have super powers or anything.”

 

Kyle’s mouth dropped. “You don’t have any powers either, Butt Licker!”

 

And just like that, Kyle turned around. He walked and opened the door, not even turning around.

 

“Good bye-“ he slammed the door behind him. Grabbing the bouquet of flowers, Kyle walked out of the home and went to his. For the duration of the walk, he wasn’t even angry at Kenny, or the new kid.

 

He was crying.

  

> Kyle?

 

Kyle jumped when he felt someone poke his shoulder. He turned to his left, seeing the new kid state at him while texting his phone.

  

> Are you okay?

 

Kyle decided he didn’t want to talk.

 

> K- I swear you are insane at typing.

 

> NK- *happy face with tongue sticking out emoji*

 

* * *

 

“We’re finally here!” Craig yelled, joyous that the car finally stopped.

 

“Gah!” Tweek said, trying his best to look at the building. “This place is huge!”

 

The front of Casa Bonita looked like a mission in front of a small factory. In the front of the small structure was a fountain; the somewhat cold air of Denver had made the water thicker and louder while splashing.

 

The kids slowly came out of the car. As Craig closed the door to the back, Randy informed the kids.

 

“Listen, umm kids.” Randy told them, “I’ll pick you guys up at six okay?”

 

“Okay dad,” Stan told them.

 

“Don’t stray too far,” Randy told them. “You’re gonna be alright?”

 

“Yes dad,” Stan said.

 

“Okay bye!” and within an instant, Randy drove off.

 

The kids watched as Randy drove off at 40 miles per hour down the street to go back to South Park.

 

“Geez dad.” Stan turned to them. “Well… we’re here.”

 

“Fucking finally,” Craig told them. “My legs hurt.”

 

“Okay guys,” Wendy caught everyone’s attention, “Let’s have fun today, okay?”

 

The group of six kids entered the giant restaurant/establishment and paid their entry fees.When they walked in, they were amazed by what they saw.

 

Inside of the restaurant was enormous- it opened up to a giant interior with smaller buildings and facades of forests and rivers. (Refer to this map)

 

“This place is huge,” Craig pointed out.

 

“Jesus!” Tweek screeched, “What if this falls down on all of us?”

 

“Tweek,” Craig told him, “Calm down.”

 

“O-okay.” Tweek’s hand clung to Craig’s.

 

 

“So how are we doing this?” Stan asked.

 

“We’re going by ourselves,” Craig told them. “Bye.”

 

“Remember!” Wendy shouted, “We meet up at 4!”

 

“Got it,” Craig said, already dragging Tweek away from them.

 

“So how are we splitting up?” Stan asked. “Wendy?”

 

“Actually...” Wendy told him, “I wanted to go with the new kid.”

 

Kyle’s eyes widened by what he heard. “But... I wanted to go with the new kid.”

 

“Wait what?” Stan’s eyes widened. “You both want to go with the new kid? What about me?”

 

“No offense Stan,” Kyle said, “But you and Wendy are dating.”

 

“Kyle,” Wendy told them, “You two are like super best friends.”

 

As the two of them were arguing, the new kid looked around the area. There were high ceilings and lots of decoration and detail everywhere. The new kid looked around and wandered away, curious to see what the rest of the facility looked like.

 

“Wait-“ Kyle stopped in the middle of their argument. “Where is the new kid?”

 

“Dude,” Stan told them both, “They walked away like four minutes ago.”

 

“They walked away?” Wendy angrily yelled, “And you didn’t tell us?”

 

“You two were arguing and I didn’t want to interfere.” Stan told them. “Well, they’re back now.”

 

The new kid came back wearing a sombrero and a poncho. They smiled as they presented themselves in front of the three.

 

“Look,” Stan firmly told them, “Can’t the four of us hang out all at once?”

 

The new kid nodded, standing next to Stan.

 

“Fine.” Kyle and Wendy pouted.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Craig and Tweek did was go to the waterfall. Inside the facility was the famous cliff-jumping waterfall- a 30 foot tall structure that was now mainly used for shows. The two boys sat next to each other at a small table, awaiting for a waiter to come to them.

 

They managed to get a round table with an umbrella in the center at the river’s edge. Craig and Tweek respectively sat facing the waterfall. Eventually, the waiter finally came, and the two boys placed their order.

 

“This is nice,” Tweek said calmly. His back slouched forward, his body leaning towards the table. “It’s not often we get alone time at a restaurant.”

 

“Especially a Mexican restaurant,” Craig pointed out. “I’m hungry.”

 

“You’re always hungry Craig,” Tweek lightly laughed, “Especially for a burrito.”

 

When the food arrived, the two were astonished to see that the waiter carried out two giant trays of food. Tweek received his Enchilada and Taco Platter and Craig received his Green Chile Burrito Platter.

 

The two quietly ate their food, watching employees walk around the top of the waterfall preparing for the show.

 

“Hey Tweek.” Craig asked, “Can I try a bite of your taco?” He pointed to one of the uneaten tacos left on the platter.

 

“Sure Craig.” Tweek told him, “Can I have a bite of your burrito?” Craig agreed.

 

Tweek grabbed the taco from his platter and handed it to Craig. Craig didn’t move his arms.

 

“Feed me.”

 

“Craig you lazy ass you can do it yourself.”

 

“But I don’t wanna,” he pouted.

 

“Fine.”

 

Tweek lifted the taco higher to their mouth levels. He held it by pinching the base with his two fingers; slowly hovering closer to Craig.

 

“Open up,” Tweek whispered, opening his mouth as well. Craig caught on to the idea, opening his mouth as well. Tweek leaned in tilted his head left; Craig tilted his head left as well. The two of them leaned closer and closer until only the taco was in between their mouths. They both bit the taco in front of them, careful not to bite Tweek’s hand off.

 

Tweek set his taco down as both of them chewed.

 

With his mouth open, Craig said, “That’s a good taco.”

 

Tweek blushed, finishing his bite before speaking, “Shut up. That was messy.”

 

It was messy; crumbs and little taco meat were all over the space between them. The two boys laughed, not caring that they had made a mess at their table.

 

“Craig,” Tweek hushed, “Look around.”

 

Craig stopped laughing and looked around. Every other visitor coming to Casa Bonita was looking at them- staring at them. When he completely turned his body around, everyone resumed to their normal states- as if nothing happened.

 

“Craig...” Tweek asked, “Do you think they’re-“

 

“No Tweek.” Craig confirmed, “No.”

 

* * *

 

Stan, Wendy, Kyle, and the new kid sat at a table in a food court area beside a performing Mariachi band. They were all sitting besides each other, waiting for the waiter to come.

 

“Where should we go next guys?” Wendy asked.

 

“Why don’t we go to Black Bart’s Cave?” Kyle suggested, looking at the map.

 

“Isn’t that where Cartman got arrested?” Stan asked.

 

“He jumped down the waterfall remember?” Kyle told him. “After that we can take photos and-“

 

“Why don’t we watch the cliff divers after?” Wendy asked.

 

“Because the smart thing to do is to go around in a circle around this place,” Kyle told her, “That way we can get everything without walking as much.”

 

“But Kyle we should go to the earlier show,” Wendy said, holding her map, “The earlier show will have less people and stuff.”

 

Stan and the new kid sighed as Kyle and Wendy started arguing once again.

 

“You don’t know fucking bullshit!” Wendy yelled.

 

“Ya muff cabbage!” Kyle screamed back. “Muff cabbage!”

 

“At least I don’t have a fucking cabbage on my head- oh wait! That’s your fucking hat!”

 

“At least I don’t smell like trash!” Kyle yelled back, pointing his finger at Wendy. “Ya trash! Ya know that?”

 

“Hey guys...” Stan told them.

 

“Ya mum’s trash!”

 

“umm... Kyle?”

 

“Ya pa’s trash!”

 

“Kyle?”

 

“Ya friends are trash-“

 

“Kyle!”

 

“WHAT!” Kyle screamed.

 

“Kyle,” Stan said, his hand over his forehead. “The new kid left five minutes ago.”

 

Kyle and Wendy looked to where the new kid was sitting- was.

 

“WH-where did they go?” Kyle asked.

 

“They left... five minutes ago?” Wendy asked for clarification.

 

“Yeah...” Stan agreed, pulling up his phone. They also texted me this: “I’m looking for Tweek and Craig. I can’t stand Kyle and Wendy fighting.” He also handed his phone to Wendy, who read the text.

 

“Shit!” Wendy raged.

 

Kyle sighed, rubbing his palms across his face. “God... damn it.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid made his way through the park. They were angry that Kyle and Wendy were fighting, but that wasn’t the main reason why they left.

 

In fact, there was a reason why the new kid dragged everyone to Casa Bonita. Being as cautious as they can, they snuck around the security guards and managed to sneak into a certain building.

 

The new kid was able to parkour and sneak around into a long white hallway stretching around the outsides of the park. The hallway had many doors and staircases that lead to may other components and rooms in the park, but the room they were looking for was somewhere upstairs. Slowly, they walked upstairs, exploring the area in hopes of finding a certain office.

 

After what seemed to be ages- but really about twenty minutes- the new kid had discovered the office he was looking for. The white door labeled 243 was a set of double doors with silver pull handles. The new kid sighed as they pushed the door opened. Inside was a room with a conference desk that can sit six people per side; a projector, and a cart.

 

And inside waiting for them, at the head of the table, was a male holding a gray cat.

 

“New kid.” The male turned their swivel chair around, revealing themselves to be Eric Cartman.

 

* * *

 

As Craig and Tweek roamed around the park, they couldn’t stop to notice that everyone was staring at them.

 

When they went to the Black Bart’s Cave, every person in line continuously stared at the gay couple. When they went through the cave and through the exit, awaiting them were stares.

 

“Why is everyone staring at us?” Tweek asked, gripping his hold on Craig’s arm even harder. “Craig?”

 

“I don’t know Tweek,” Craig told him. He couldn’t help but feel paranoid about the whole situation as well. “Just ignore them.”

 

“It’s hard to ignore everyone that walks past us...” Tweek said, watching as literally everyone they were walking past stopped to stare at them. They were still staring at them when the two boys walked past them.

 

“I think we should find Kyle and them,” Tweek suggested. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.”

 

Craig looked down upon the blonde boy. His eyes were dilated, exposing the jade green in his eye balls. His teeth were grinding against each other; his mouth opened exposing the operation. Tweek was even shaking, and Craig knew for a fact he only had one cup of coffee.

 

“Let’s go find Kyle and them then.” Craig looked around, observing where they were. “This place is creeping me out now.”

 

* * *

 

Stan, Wendy, and Kyle exited the photo booth, removing all of the fake props from themselves.

 

The three of them had gone through with Wendy’s plan- Kyle being too disappointed in himself to continue his plan. Stan walked over to the photographer asking for the image as Kyle sulked over to a nearby bench. He sat down, sighing away.

 

“Kyle?” Wendy asked. “What’s up with you?”

 

“Wendy...” Kyle asked, “Don’t you feel sad that the new kid ditched us?”

 

Wendy sighed as well, “Yeah, yeah I do.” Wendy took the seat next to the bench.

 

“I feel like a dickhead.” Kyle rubbed his hands on his face, “and it’s hurts.”

 

“Kyle,” Wendy asked, “Do you know why I wanted to hang out with the new kid today?”

 

Kyle looked to his side, seeing Wendy take off her hat.

 

“Stan is a good boyfriend now. He listens, he talks to me. He likes me for me.” Wendy fixed her beanie and fixed it back on her head. “After CrusTea and the whole serum thing, Stan is really confused about Wendell.”

 

Kyle remembered Wendy explaining how Stan lost consciousness because of the serum.

 

“And I wanted to give Stan time by being away from him.” Wendy pointed Kyle to Stan, who was looking through the photos taken by the photographer. So far, all of the pictures had both Wendy and Kyle sad, not smiling. “That’s why I wanted to be with the new kid.”

 

Kyle sighed, “I understand.”

 

“Hey Kyle,” Wendy asked, “Do you like the new kid?”

 

Kyle didn’t even hesitate to answer, “No.”

 

Wendy tilted her head sideways in confusion.

 

 

 

 

 

“I think I’m in love with them.”

 

* * *

 

“Sit down new kid,” Cartman announced, “We’ll start discussing our meeting.”

 

The new kid sat at the seat at the very other end of the table. They kept a blank stare the entire walk; never once letting Eric get to him.

 

“And what is it that you want again?” Eric asked.

 

The new kid rolled their eyes as they brought their phone out.

 

> I want information.

 

“Information? On what?” Eric asked, his tone becoming sarcastic.

 

> I need to know how you’re aware of Kenny dying.

 

Eric slammed his fist on the table. “You call me to haul my ass over to fucking Casa Bonita just so you can learn how Kenny fucking dies!”

 

> Yes.

 

Eric shrugged. “Fine. I’ll tell you. In two conditions.”

 

The new kid leaned forward.

 

“One. You must give me LGBT Center membership- and unban me too!”

 

The new kid rolled their eyes. They knew this was coming.

 

“And number two. You must beat me in a battle.”

 

The new kid raised their brow.

 

“As you are aware, Douchebag.” Eric stood up from his desk, walking around the area. “We never officially ended our battle- The epic battle between the Wizard King and Commander Douchebag.”

 

The new kid rolled their eyes again.

 

“And now, with you becoming King Douchebag and me as The Grand Wizard, I demand a duel to become King!” Eric threw across the table a pipe. The pipe landed on the other side of the tunnel, spilling its content out: a paper.

 

“That contract is the legal document you have to sign to consent to everything,” Eric pointed out. “If you win the duel, then I give you my information. If I win, I get LGBT Center Membership, unbanned from the LGBT Center, and I get to become The Wizard King once again.”

 

Eric walked over to the new kid, handing over a black fountain pen. “Once you sign, I already have our costumes in the boxes behind us. We’ll have our duel immediately.”

 

The new kid skimmed over the contract: a five page contract enlisting everything that Eric had listed, and all of the punishments if those things weren’t fulfilled.

 

With cautious decision, they signed NK on the dotted line.

 

“Excellent.” Eric walked over to the other side once again, pointing to the box labeled NK. “This is your shit. Dress up and meet me outside in the hallway.”

 

* * *

 

Kyle, Stan, and Wendy were now sitting at a table overlooking the waterfall. After much searching around the park, they had no luck with the new kid, Tweek, or Craig.

 

“Let’s face it,” Wendy sadly stated. “The new kid is pissed at us.”

 

“Pissed at you guys,” Stan redirected, making the two people angrily stare at him. “Hey, I’m not the one who went Jersey okay?”

 

“Stan, please,” Kyle had his head down at the table. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Fine.” Stan got up from the bench. “I’m gonna go take a shit. I’ll be back.”

 

“Kay.” The two kids said as Stan headed towards the restroom. The two kids sat at the table, not ordering anything, not talking.

 

They both kept the silence for about two minutes, when Wendy started the conversation again.

 

“You know. I once had feelings for the new kid.”

 

Kyle looked up from his position. “When did it end?”

 

Wendy sighed, “It ended when we were fighting the Crab People Queen.”

 

Kyle sat up properly, “But that was so recent ago.”

 

“I still liked Stan from before. And then the new kid saved the town, they helped me get my data plan back. And then they opened the LGBT Center. And of course... they protected me and Stan.”

 

“The new kid is mute, but they have such a way of expressing themselves. It’s clearly more than what Stan does. They also pay attention, they understand my gender identity- the new kid is always looking out for me.”

 

“And the moment I realized... I didn’t like the new kid anymore...”

 

 

 

 

 

“... was when you told me the new kid can defeat the queen.”

 

Kyle was mesmerized by what he was hearing. His mind flashed back to that event: the night of the Queen of the Crab People. He had only done so little really- he spent the majority of the time with Wendy as the new kid took out the enemy by themselves- well, with themselves really. “Are you sure?”

 

Wendy took a deep breath as she set both of her elbows on the table, holding her head up with her left arm. “Remember when the new kid defeated the Queen?”

 

Kyle remembered the scene. The new kid sprouted numerous amounts of roots to inflict bleeding damage onto the Queen. They then took her out using Dragon Reversal, one of the new kid’s quote on quote signature attacks. “Yeah… what about it?”

 

Wendy huffed, looking to Kyle’s eyes. “I realized at that moment that… the new kid didn’t need me.”

 

“Wendy, what are you-“

 

“No Kyle.” Wendy said, waving a hand in front of Kyle to make him stop. “I mean… Stan was captured by the crab people right?”

 

Kyle nodded.

 

“Well… remember Stan before that? He fainted from the serum? Well… he needed me. And I didn’t realize it at the time… I needed him.” Wendy shifted from her seat, repositioning herself to sit more comfortably. “And the new kid didn’t need me.”

 

Wendy smiled, signaling to Kyle that Stan was arriving back at the table.

 

 

 

  

 

“They needed you.”

 

Kyle, for the first time since the new kid left, smiled. He could feel an unburden lift from his weak heart.

 

“Guys!” Stan said, stopping to breathe from the running, “I just saw Tweek and Craig!”

 

“Really?” Wendy asked. She and Kyle stood up, “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid, wearing a crown on his head and a red cape, was only four boxes away from The Grand Wizard Eric Cartman. He wore the iconic blue wizard hat over his normal clothes, along with a cloak. He also had his wizard staff.

 

“Since you’re the one with the deal, you go first.” Eric threw his staff in the air like a baton. It twirled and spun in multiple rotations before it got caught by Eric.

 

As a beginning move, the new kid went forward the three spaces and used his standard fart attack. The fart attack sent Eric back one space.

 

“I guess now would be the great time to reveal my secret weapon!” Eric turned around and dropped the back of his pants to reveal his white ass. He flicked the lighter open and positioned it over the asshole. Using his might, Eric sent an enormous flaming fart attack at the new kid.

 

The new kid farted, distorting time and space to cancel out his attack, as well as to summon the past version of himself again.

 

“Well well well,” Eric said, now aiming his staff at the two new kids. “You saw my attack coming new kid.”

 

The new kid smirked, and bowed.

 

“However, you didn’t see to realize how much stronger I’ve become!” Eric turned around again, flicking the lighter once more to send a flaming attack.

 

The flaming fart attack shot across the stage, its full gassy effects hurting both new kids at once. Past New Kid even rippled back in time, forced by the powerful force of the fart.\

 

The new kid started to pick up their breathing. They tried to find the source of his brand new and powerful farts. They thought and thought until he realized something.

 

They were in a Mexican restaurant. And they didn’t eat a single thing.

 

“Ahah ahaha!” Eric laughed, “dude that was awesome!”

 

Eric smiled, giggling up, “they were like- ((woah)). And like, faded back to the past! So kewl!”

 

The new kid stood up, feeling the old powers of King Douchebag flow back into them. B holding his two hands together, the new kid realized what other abilities they processed.

 

One of them was a hammer.

 

* * *

 

“Where’s the exit?” Tweek shouted.

 

“I don’t know!” Craig yelled back, scared to his life by the staring people. “I think it’s this way!”

 

It wasn’t that way.

 

The two boys ended up in a dead end- a three wall-surrounded area with only one exit in front of them.

 

“It’s too late!” Tweek shouted, “we’re doomed!”

 

Craig watched as Tweek tightened his grip around him. Tweek’s eyes were so clenched Craig could see tears forming out.

 

As the shadows of people continued to increase in size, Craig calmed down enough to let go of Tweek.

 

“Tweek,” Craig told the blonde boy, “Why don’t we just fight back?”

 

Tweek shook, “Are you crazy?” He shouted, “We can’t fight back we’re only two boys and they’re an entire nation and-“

 

“Tweek!”

 

Tweek stopped talking. He looked up from where he was standing to see Craig holding out his hand.

 

He could see how calm and collected Craig was- his blue aura shined confidence and posture; his blue eyes shined determination.

 

“Are... are you sure?” Tweek asked.

 

 

 

“I’m positive.” Craig gave Tweek the patented Craig smile that always soothed Tweek. The smiled that guaranteed protection. The smile that even the Gods couldn’t smite.

 

The smile that pushed Tweek forward.

 

“Let’s do it.” Tweek let out his hand, heartedly gripping the hand Craig was letting out.

 

“Ready when you are.”

 

The two boys took their positions as whoever was behind the corner was gonna come in at this moment.

 

 

  

 

 

“Tweek? Craig?” Stan peeped around the corner. “Guys, what the hell are you doing here?”

 

“Wait what?” Craig let go of Tweek’s hand, “We were ready to fight!”

 

“Y-yeah!” Tweek yelled.

 

“Well…” Wendy walked around the corner, “No one’s following you.”

 

“Really?” Tweek asked, shaking from the confusion.

 

“No,” Stan assured them, “But where’s-“

 

In that moment, the power had cut out. Areas of the park were slowly shutting down into pitch black; sections slowly turning off into pitch black.

 

“What’s happening?” Tweek screamed, jumping into Craig’s arms.

 

“Everyone,” Wendy yelled, “Stay close!”

 

The five kids huddled together, using their phones as a light source, until the lights cut back on. Slowly, everything in the park was being illuminated once again.

 

“That seemed strange,” Wendy told everyone. “Is everybody here?”

 

“Where’s the new kid?” Kyle asked.

 

“Isn’t he with you guys?” Craig asked.

 

“Nope,” Wendy said, motioning everyone to follow out of the dead end. “They got angry with us and left. They said they would join you two though.”

 

“We’ve been by ourselves the whole day, Wendy,” Tweek admitted, “And the whole day, people kept staring at us.”

 

“Yeah,” Craig joined in, “It was really creepy.”

 

The five kids were now back at a main road of the park. Crowds of people that were there before were now heading towards the exits. Within seconds, the microphone cut on. “Everyone, this is the manager of Casa Bonita. Unfortunately, the waterfall and our light system are experiencing some technical difficulties, and we advise everyone to please evacuate the park in a calm and orderly fashion.”

 

Within an instant, a woman screamed and the people were running towards the exit.

 

“I’m sorry,” the voice cut back in, “I meant in a mass panic in hysteria.”

 

“Oh.” A man said. And the crowds were heading towards the exit.

 

“We should head to the waterfall.” Wendy told everyone, “The new kid might be there.”

 

“Let’s go!” Tweek exclaimed.

 

“Wait!” Stan, Wendy, Tweek, and Craig stopped. They turned around to Kyle, who had their hand on their forehead.

 

“Tweek. Craig. Both of your flies are down.”

 

 

 

 

"..."

 

“REALLY?!?!”

 

* * *

 

The new kid and Eric were in the middle of their battle. They were still in the narrow hallways, slowly moving down the hall from the office of the negotiation.

 

Eric threw a pack of menstrual pads at the new kid as he ran away from the new kid. They straight left, dodging the pack.

 

The new kid stacked their two hands together, forming a giant golden and bejeweled hammer at their side. As the hallway turned to a corner, Eric was slowing down, becoming in range of the new kid. Eric meant to turn, but accidentally slipped on the floor, sliding himself into the wall. Using this opportunity, the new kid spun counterclockwise, using the rotative force to assist the momentum of the hammer into the wall where Eric was.

 

The wall blew open, taking too much force from the strike of the hammer. Eric’s body flew straight into the electrical room, and straight into a circuit board. With his back hitting the board, the board sent numerous electrical shocks out, shocking the fat kid. The lights of the room flickered back and forth; the screens in the room flickering as well.

 

Eventually, the lights and the televisions cut out entirely, encompassing everyone in darkness.

 

The new kid waited for the lights to cut back on before entering the room. With the golden hammer disappearing in his hands, the new kid entered through the broken hole in the wall. They can see in front of him Eric Cartman sitting up, rubbing his scalp.

 

“Ow… My head…” Eric took his hat off, rubbing his hands in his brown hair. “It fucking hurts-“

 

And out of nowhere, electrical sparks flew out of the fat boy. The walls repelled the electrical sparks, bouncing them towards the other side of the room. The new kid braced themselves as a small spark managed to hit their sneaker- causing them to feel a shock at their feet. The new kid fell on the floor, inching in the pain at their feet.

 

Realizing what happened, Eric smirked at the kid in front of him. “Looks like I just recharged my V-Chip.”

 

The new kid kneeling up, looking at the fat kid standing in front of them

 

Eric fixed his wizard hat back onto his head, preparing himself for round two.

 

“Game on, new kid.” Eric directed both of his hands to the new kid, “Fuck. Shit. Tacos!”

 

Two sparks of electricity shout of Eric’s arms, both flying forward at a flashing speed. The new kid managed to pat the ground in time to summon his root burst. The electricity struck the two roots, instantly destroying the material within seconds. Smoke immediately filled the room, allowing the new kid to run.

 

“Hey! No fair new kid!” Eric shouted, “I said only Kind Douchebag fights! Not Butthole!”

 

The new kid sprinted down the other hall of the corner. They needed to find help- this was going to be too much for them. But every step they took, it sent signals of pain to his brain, alerting them that there was still pain in their feet.

 

They eventually made it to the end of the hall and opened the final door there. The door led them to the area of the top of the cliff diving water fall.

 

“Shit! Cock! Burittos!” the new kid dove to their left in time before a mass of electricity blasted out the door from the hallway.

 

The new kid managed to stand up in time before Eric ran out of the door.

 

“This is it! New kid!” Eric yelled, standing a few feet from the door, “The final battle!”

 

The new kid huffed, nodding at The Grand Wizard.

 

* * *

 

As the five kids were running towards the waterfall, the ground started trembling below them.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Tweek screamed, falling to the ground.

 

“Everyone take cover!” Kyle yelled, holding his hands over his head. The five kids- those who were still standing- dove to the ground.

 

“What the hell is causing this?” Wendy shouted, hiding beside a table.

 

The ground stopped trembling.

 

“Is everyone okay?” Wendy asked.

 

“We’re okay,” Craig told them.

 

“We should hurry.” Kyle told everyone, “The waterfall is still across the lagoon and through a small portion of the park.”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

“This is the final move, New kid!” Eric huffed, “I… I’m gonna finish you.”

 

The new kid was breathing heavily too. They were standing a few meters away from Eric, taking a quick breather.

 

The two kids had been battling for about ten minutes, but the two of them were really getting tired out.

 

Eric pulled his pants down once again and positioned a lighter in front of his asshole. Squatting, Eric was able to focus and put his energy into his butt. “You’re going down new kid!”

 

The new kid turned around as well, bending forward to aim their butt at Eric.

 

“AHHHHHHH!” Eric released his fart, a giant flaming pillar of exploding gas firing behind him. The new kid released as well, counting the flaming fart with his own force.

 

“New kid,” Eric yelled, “Just lose already!” He increased his fart power, pushing the collision area closer to the new kid.

 

The new kid grunted, pushing harder in their fart. The collision area was pushed back and further towards Eric.

 

“No!” Eric grunted. Using the hand that wasn’t holding the lighter, he waved it behind him. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fart!”

 

A wave of electricity blasted from the hand, sparking electricity around the floor behind Eric. The sparks bounced everywhere, some of them hitting the new kid. The new kid held the pain and their position, continuing to fart despite Eric’s efforts. The collision spot of farts was moving closer to the new kid.

 

The new kid was struggling to push back. Their lower body was feeling pain from the electricity and they honestly didn’t know how much of a fart they could still do. Not to mention, they had no food upon entering the place, so that was a plus.

 

With the collision moving closer and closer to the new kid, they could feel the heat from the flaming Eric fart coming in. They needed a plan, and fast. And that’s when they remembered.

 

Focusing on his hands, the new kid tried to imagine a rod in his hands. The yellow energy collected around their palms, and a yellow rod was forming. The heat was closing in behind them- they pushed more, this time their stomach cramping in pain.

 

“Give up new kid!” Eric shouted, “You can’t stop Mexican food!”

 

The new kid was able to materialize the golden rod in their hands. Waving it around, he used his energy to summon multiple green meteors from the sky. They struck the battlefield- in this case the floor around the top of the waterfall- denting and shaking the platform. Using this to distract Eric, the new kid pushed with all of their reminding might.

 

The collision spot went from being two feet away from the new kid, and pushed all the way towards Eric.

 

Eric screamed in pain as he was engulfed in farts and with minor flames.

 

* * *

 

The five kids were running towards the waterfall, the structure being close to them, when they heard an explosion.

 

“Look!” Craig pointed out to the top of the water fall, a mushroom cloud had formed at the top of the waterfall.

 

“Only one person could cause that explosion,” Kyle told them, “And this smell.” He pinched his nose. “Oh jesus!”

 

“The new kid is-“ Wendy pinched her nose, “Up there!”

 

“Come on!” Stan yelled, pulling his jacket up to cover his mouth. The five kids continued on.

 

* * *

 

Eric coughed as he was getting back up. “New kid…”

 

The new kid was now walking over to Eric from where they were standing. When they reached to the fat boy on the floor, they grabbed Eric’s shirt from the chest and pulled him up.

 

The two faces were only inches away.

 

Eric coughed before speaking, “Why did you do this?”

 

The new kid, using his free hand, pulled out his phone and- without even looking- found Eric’s text message chain and texted to him. After hitting send, the new kid lifted the phone and held it in front of Eric’s eyes. Eric read the message.

   

> Tell me everything you know about Kenny dying.

 

Eric coughed once more, “Fine… you butt fucker.”

 

The remaining electricity in Eric’s V-chip sprouted through his hands, hitting the new kid’s chest. The new kid was blown away from Eric, letting go of his grip.

 

Eric got on his legs and started running towards the door. The new kid managed to land on their feet a few feet away and ran after Eric. Using his Dragon Reversal ability, they were able to stop Eric from escaping.

 

“Let me go!” Eric shouted, staggering around the floor.

 

The new kid patted the ground, letting a series of roots sprout of the ground. Eric was sent backwards until he was along the edge of the cliff.

 

Without anywhere to turn, Eric ran towards the cliff edge.

 

The new kid held both of their hands together, using the last of his King’s energy to summon the golden hammer.

 

* * *

 

The five kids made it to the river where the waterfall was.

 

“Jesus how do we get up there?” Tweek asked.

 

“I see glowing up there!” Craig yelled.

 

“Wait a minute,” Stan thought, squinting his eyes. “Everyone move!”

 

Everyone moved away from the water as Eric Cartman jumped off the waterfall. The fat boy spread out his arms, fully embracing the water below.

 

But up above him was the new kid. They jumped forward, hoisting the hammer above their head as they jumped as well.

 

Using the remains of their strength, the new kid swung the hammer down with brute force. The flat end had hit Eric, spiking him faster into the water.

 

When the two boys and the hammer slammed into the water, a giant splash almost twenty feet tall occurred, getting everything in a ten foot radius wet.

 

* * *

 

“Check the water!” Wendy ordered everyone, “We need to find the new kid!”

 

“I got them!” Kyle yelled, reaching his hand into the water. Kyle fished for the new kid, pulling them up towards the surface.

 

“We got Wizard fatass,” Stan said. He and Craig hoisted up the unconscious Eric up to the surface as well.

 

“New kid!” Kyle yelled, laying the new kid down flat on the ground. “Wake up.”

 

The new kid’s eyes slowly opened, his body returning to his control.

 

“Fatass is unconscious.” Stan told them. “What should we do?”

 

“Why is Cartman here?” Tweek asked.

 

“Yeah, why is he here?” Craig wondered.

 

“Let’s ask questions later.” Wendy looked on her phone. “Security is gonna do a sweep and we need to be out of here.

 

* * *

 

The six kids were back in Randy’s car on their way home to South Park. After the events, the six kids were met with a worried Randy and a team of police officers.

 

Wendy was able to secretly talk to the officer in charge of the evacuation to waived the six of them out of trouble. Stan and Kyle were able to fool Randy about the situation, explaining to them that they were at the waterfall unaware of the whole thing.

 

And now they were only thirty minutes away from South Park.

 

Craig was now moved to sit behind the driver; the new kid told him that he could take their spot for their legs. Kyle also allowed Tweek to sit in the middle seat, allowing the couple to sit next to each other.

 

Craig smiled as he looked outside; seeing the sun in the distance. It was only around four in the afternoon, but the sun looked like it was already going to set soon.

 

“Like the view?” Tweek whispered.

 

Craig turned around, looking at the blonde boy. “Not as much as this one.”

 

Tweek smiled. Wendy did her best to hide her squeal as she was snap chatting the whole thing.

 

“Hey kids?” Randy called, grabbing everyone’s attention in the car. “I umm. I just wanted to say that umm.”

 

“Yes Mr.Marsh?” Wendy asked.

 

Randy started off, “I know today wasn’t the most fun day for you guys.”

 

Everyone rolled their eyes.

 

“But I just wanted to say that umm.” Randy focused on the road, changing into the left lane on the highway. “Sometimes, plans don’t follow through the way you expect. And sometimes, you just have to make do with what you got.”

 

The new kid, along with Kyle, sat in the back row of the van.

 

“Are you feeling better, new kid?” Kyle asked. He turned to his left, seeing the new kid leaning against the window. They pulled out their phone, texting a response.

 

> I’m just sad that I didn’t get to eat any of the food there.

 

Kyle noticed in front of him how Wendy was listening. He decided to text him back.

 

“But if you do it right, then you’ll have the best time in your life.”

  

> K- Do you want to get something when we go back?

 

The new kid smiled upon reading that text.

  

> NK- I would love to. *kissy face emoji*

 

Kyle blushed, seeing the kissy face emoji.

 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” Randy paused in his sentence, “Make the most of what you get in the present moment. The present is a gift, so enjoy it.”

 

Although the advice was half-baked, the general majority smiled after that. Kyle saw his phone screen light up again.

 

> NK- Thanks for pulling me out of the water earlier.

 

Kyle scuffed, his fingers trying their best to text. 

 

> K- It’s nothing.

   

> NK- And by the way, those flowers you brought over were pretty.

 

Kyle gulped,

  

> K- You saw those?!?!

 

> NK- I was disappointed to see them go. They would of looked so pretty in that vase.

 

Kyle was struggling to respond. He didn’t even realize that the new kid had seen those flowers.

  

> NK- and I’m sorry for Kenny. He’s a bit protective over these missions.

 

> K- What was that about? I never seen him so mad.

   

> NK- Kenny just wants you safe. He doesn’t think you can handle what we usually go through in a night out.

  

> K- What the hell do you guys do anyways?

  

> NK- Come over tomorrow night and I’ll show you.

  

> W- Are you done texting the new kid yet Kyle?

 

Kyle looked up to see Wendy turned around, staring at Kyle completely.

 

“What do you want, Wendy?”

 

“I just wanted to remind you that we don’t have work tomorrow,” Wendy winked at the redhead.

 

Kyle smiled, “Thanks Wendy.”

 

Wendy smiled, turning back around. Kyle looked down at his phone, reading the new message.

  

> NK- So are you coming?

   

> K- Count me in, I guess.

  

> NK- *okay emoji*

 

Kyle looked out of the window, observing the mountain range around them.

 

_This time, it’ll be different._

 

* * *

   

> _Is it strange that there isn’t a thing about worrying about the present?_

   

> _If you worry about the future, you’re anxious. If you worry about the past, you’re depressed._

 

> _But what if you worry in the present time? Are you just worried? Do you fit under a certain category like depression or anxiety? Is it even possible to worry about the present time?_

  

> _We live in the present time. We were always told to live in the present; after all, the present is a gift. We’re told not to worry about the future or not to think of the past, but how do you actually worry in the present time period?_

  

> _After today, I’m not sure if my state of being worried is increasing anymore. I can’t wait to get this burden off my chest._

  

> _It has been haunting me since._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I'm biologically male, and I actually squeal in a high pitch voice whenever something risque like that happens. EEEE KYLE IS SO OPEN IN THIS EPISODE!!!
> 
> Okay, I can hear the comments and rants go. Yes I know this says New Kid/Everyone and I'm basically pinning this as New Kid/Kyle and I also just killed the Stan/Kyle part. Just wait. Just keep waiting.... heheheh the season ends at episode 10 you know.
> 
> If this episode seems a bit limited, it's because I really didn't want to write more about Casa Bonita for several reasons. For one thing, I barely found out this was a real restaurant when I started researching last year. Another thing, the Fractured But Whole will have a DLC called Dusk Till Bonita, which in my theory will have vampires in it but that's another story for another day. But with the DLC not out yet, I don't want to make up a story and everything. And also- for finding out a place that South Park called the Mexican Disneyland is actually real- IT WAS SO HARD TRYING TO FIND A MAP OR SOME INSIDE VISUAL TOUR. It was so hard to map out everything without actually going there, and I was really lazy to do that. I spent like six hours planning out this story and I honestly said F this I'm going off the episode.
> 
> Also, I just wanted to calm the story down. Crab People and Manbearpig was alot and now I just need to calm it down a bit.


	8. The End of Kyle x New Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the Super Blue Blood Moon, Craig and Tweek decided to stay up so they can watch the whole event. Unfortunately, due to the moon's positioning, it causes them to rethink how it'll go down. Meanwhile, Kyle, Kenny, and the new kid go on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wows, episode 7 already! And seriously I had so much fun planning out this episode I almost cried. And sorry that this is going out so late. Usually, I would be done like an hour ago but my schedule is just stockpiling up to become worse and worse. 
> 
> And finally I plan out a chapter to be 8600 words. That's the first!
> 
> Let's see... check out my tumblr Negira1239SP, I post stuff there now. Nice! Also, thanks for those who keep reading and commenting and everything! Y'all are awesome. Thank you guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
> 
> -Negira

_-7:48 pm-_

 

_Today is the day._

 

_Today is going* to be the day._

 

_Today, January 30th, 2018, is going to be the day._

 

 

 

_Today is the day I’m going to ask the new kid._

 

Kyle stood in front of his mirror; a comb in his hand to even out the luscious curls in his hair. It had been a few months ago when he had cut his hair for Heidi, and now the hair had grown more in control. Kyle didn’t even know why he decided to style his hair. He was going to wear his hat over it anyways- it wasn’t going to show anyways. But something in him was telling him to go all out. Something inside him was giving him the warm fuzzy feeling in his heart as he waved his comb over the last strand of hair.

 

The sound of the text tone went off.

 

Kyle immediately grabbed his phone out of his pocket, racing to see what new text he received. It was from the new kid; Kyle was so thrilled to see that they wrote him something.

 

> Remember! We’re meeting at 8:30!

 

Kyle smiled, thankful that the new kid had sent him the fifteen minute reminder.

 

> Can’t wait!

 

Kyle remembered the conversation they had after Randy dropped them off at his house. As they went to KFC- a restaurant the new kid claimed they had never had before- the two kids were walking back to their houses.

 

> Remember that awkward moment with Kenny?

 

Kyle frowned, remembering the awkward night he had to grab his flowers home. “Yeah, what was that about anyways?”

 

> Kenny and I were doing some incognito scoping and I was planning on inviting you. Lo and behold Kenny went protective over me.

 

“Why does Kenny become so protective?” Kyle asked. “It’s not like you’re his little sister.”

 

> Kenny… He just doesn’t want his friends to get hurt. That’s all.

 

Kyle sighed, “I just want to help you, you know. You told me before how you’re trying to regain your memories, but with Kenny, I can’t help you at all.”

 

The kid was silent, hesitant on how to answer the red head. As the two kids crossed the street, looking to see the moon rising, the new kid responded.

 

> Can you come with me tomorrow night then?

 

Kyle read the text, immediately asking, “Is Kenny going as well?”

  

> I’ll let Kenny know that you have to come.

 

“What do I tell my mom?” Kyle asked. “That I’m staying over your house?”

 

> That works. Sleep over?

 

Although he really wanted to go, Kyle was initially hesitant about saying yes. He didn’t even know if his mother would allow him to sleep over, considering how he had been going out a lot. And also Kenny, who just happened to be his cock block.

 

Well, not cock block, but more of a third wheeler.

 

“Let’s do it!”

 

And that’s where he was now.

 

Looking to see that the time was 7:50, Kyle grabbed his backpack and left his bedroom.

 

“Mom, Dad?” Kyle called. “I’m going to the new kid’s house.”

 

As he made his way down stairs, he found that both of his parents were watching the news on the television.

 

“Bubby,” his mom asked, “Why do you still call him the new kid and not by his real name?”

 

Kyle explained, “The new kid uses they them pronouns mom. Plus, they just like being called the new kid.”

 

“Well,” his father said, “Have fun Kyle. Don’t stay up too late.”

 

“I won’t!” Kyle said, waving goodbye as he closed the front door.

 

As Kyle walked down the sidewalk, Kyle ran several ideas through his head.

 

Keep calm Kyle, you can do this!

 

Just breathe Kyle, just breathe.

 

Wait, is that Stan and Wendy?

 

“Stan? Wendy?”

 

Stan and Wendy were holding each other’s hands as the happy couple strolled down the street.

 

“Hey Kyle!” Wendy happily called. Noticing the large backpack, Wendy asked, “Where are you going?”

 

“I’m going to the new kid’s. They said they wanted to do something,” Kyle explained. Looking at Stan, he asked, “Did your dad end up getting drunk again?”

 

Stan scoffed, “When is he not drunk?”

 

“Figures.” Kyle realized the time, “Well. I got to go. See you guys!”

 

The red head ran around the couple, running towards their destination.

 

“It’s so cute seeing Kyle head over heels for someone,” Wendy stated.

 

“Wait....” Stan then realized, “Kyle likes the new kid?”

 

Wendy slammed her hand on her face so hard, Stan told her afterwards how he could feel the shockwave of impact from Wendy’s hand hitting her forehead.

 

* * *

 

_-8:03 pm-_

 

Craig is soooooo excited tonight.

 

In his bedroom, Craig was repairing and rearranging his telescope for the Super Blood Blue Moon happening that night. Using his father’s toolbox, Craig was able to dismantle one section of his telescope to shorten the magnification. Since his telescope was actually constructed to view distant planets, he needed someone smaller for the moon- especially since tonight it would be the closest to Earth.

 

“Craig,” Tweek called, “Are you almost finished yet?”

 

Tweek had found them a nice place in Stark’s Pond for them to watch the moon that night. “Jesus it’s cold outside!”

 

“You can borrow one of my jackets,” Craig told him, not even looking up from his project. “I’m just about done.”

 

“You’re really excited about this, aren’t you?” Tweek walked over and sat crisscross on the floor.

 

“The next time the moon will be like this is in thirty something years!” Craig said, almost excitedly at this point. “I can’t wait that long!”

 

“Oh geez!” Tweek laughed, “You sound like Eric when the Wii was announced.

 

“Do I?” Craig asked. As he tightened the last screw, he held the whole shaft of the telescope in his hands. After intense mathematical calculations, his telescope will properly operate with the lower magnification.

 

“Now all I need I to see this on the stand,” Craig narrated, attaching the scope to the tripod, “and now I just need the final part- the lens.”

 

For this telescope, the lens was placed last in the set up process. Even though that’s not how most telescopes work, that’s how this one would operate.

 

Craig walked over to his bed for the lens. It was placed inside a box with styrofoam and cushioning so it would be more protected in storage. Next to the box was Stripe #4, happily roaming around the bed top.

 

Tweek stood up and gently patted the guinea pig as Craig opened the box to grab the lens.

 

“What the fuck?” Craig yelled. “WHAT THE FUCK!”

 

Inside, the lens was cracked.

 

“Why the fuck is the lens cracked?” Craig yelled. “What the fuck!”

 

“Craig!” Tweek yelled, cupping the guinea pig’s sensitive ears as best as he can, “Calm down!”

 

The two boys heard running, as someone ran up the stairs.

 

“Boys!” Craig’s Mother yelled, “Are you guys okay?”

 

“My fucking lens broke!” He told them. “Who the hell did this?”

 

“I’m sorry sweetie,” his mom told him, “But I don’t know who broke your lens.”

 

“AGGGGGHHH!” Craig raged. “Mom, I’m going out.”

 

“Don’t be out too long,” she told the boys as she went down stairs.

 

“Come on Tweek,” Craig told him, running to his closet. He slid the door open, revealing to Tweek for the first time Craig’s wardrobe. Craig grabbed a shoebox from the top and grabbed the giant sum of money the government agents paid him from Manbearpig. As he was doing that, Tweek slipped on one of Craig’s blue jackets and safely placed Stripe #4 back in his cage.

 

Within seconds, the two boys were off. They roamed the outside street, running down the sidewalk as they made their way to the toy store.

 

* * *

 

Kyle nervously walked up the cement steps to the front door. 

 

_This was it. No turning back._

 

Kyle looked at his watch, seeing that the time read 7:59. He also notices how much he’s shaking. Usually, Kyle was very calm and collected. He usually isn’t this nervous, but something in him this time was making him tingle.

 

And sweat. Something in him was making him sweat this much. And frankly, it was scaring him.

 

Using his right hand, he knocked on the door. Within seconds, the door opened to reveal the new kid’s mother.

 

“Hey Kyle!” The mom greeted, “Come on in!”

 

Closing the door behind him, Kyle did the proper greetings before running upstairs. Turning to the door on the right, Kyle opened it, seeing the new kid and Kenny inside.

 

Both the new kid and Kenny had backpacks- just like Kyle did.

 

“You set to go Kyle?” Kenny asked.

 

“What are we doing exactly?” Kyle asked. The two other kids led Kyle out of the room and downstairs.

 

“I’ll explain on the way there,” Kenny told him. “Let’s go.”

 

For over thirty minutes of bus rides, Kyle couldn’t be more clueless in his life.

 

* * *

 

_-8:24 pm-_

 

Craig and Tweek had just gotten off the bus in North Park’s Main Street.

 

“Where are we going Craig?” Tweek asked.

 

“We need to go to the store where I bought this telescope,” Craig said, “And see if they have a replacement lens.”

 

Luckily, Tweek brought with him the box with the lens. “Where is this store?”

 

“It should be right over here,” Craig said, pointing towards the west side of the Main Street. Looking down, the two boys could see all the shops slowly closing.

 

Eventually, they came across the store Craig bought it from- but it wasn’t really a store.

 

“Craig,” Tweek asked, “You bought your store at a community college store.”

 

“Well, sort of.” Craig told him. “I bought it from the physics department.”

 

The two boys roamed around the empty campus. The school itself wasn’t large or really well known in America. It was simply affordable and close for those living in North or South Park- or the neighboring areas. The buildings of the school were moderately remodeled and renovated for the recently stated standards. In fact, the school wasn’t that old anyways; it was built in the late 70’s.

 

“This place creeps me out,” Tweek told him, “Where is this physics department?”

 

“Right here.” Craig turned the corner, dragging Tweek with him, and entered the building.

 

Inside the building was well lit and filled with physics-based decorations. There was a swinging pendulum in the center, a large-scale version of Newton’s Cradle on the side, and a staircase made to look like a giant spring.

 

Craig walked up to the information booth and rang the buzzer there. Within minutes, a skinny white cisgender male appeared.

 

“How can I help you kids,” he said, his lisp clearly showing.

 

“I bought this telescope from the physics department, and I need a replacement lens.” Craig showed him the box. “Who is Joseph Talins?”

 

“Joseph Talins is a professor here at the school,” the student said, “I can take you to his office.”

 

* * *

 

_10:18 pm_

 

The three kids- Kenny, Kyle, and the new kid- made it to their destination: Bailey.

 

After getting off the bus, the three of them ran into the woods. They stealthily hid until they found a small clearing.

 

“Alright,” Kenny declared, “Ready to change into your superhero costumes?”

 

Everyone nodded.

 

The three spun around in circles, feeling a small draft form in between all three of them. Within seconds, Human Kite, Buttlord, and Mysterion appeared.

 

“Can you guys finally tell me the plan?” Human Kite asked. They set down their backpack, opening the zipper to pull out a folded kite.

 

The two watched as the kite unfolded itself, becoming over four feet long and three feet wide within an instant. Human Kite explained, “I used my money for a more sturdy and portable kite.”

 

Mysterion lead the group back to the street, explaining the mission details along the way.

 

“Human Kite,” Mysterion started, directing the group into a pathway. “We tracked down the government agency that was experimenting with the new kid.”

 

Kyle remembered the days of the stick of truth. The night they raided Clyde’s Castle of Darkness was the night they discovered the government agency that was experimenting with the new kid. He distinctly remembered that battle- he had to kick his little brother into a vile of Nazi-Zombie-Alien goo so Nazi-Zombie-Princess Kenny wouldn’t heal. He also remembered that night as the night the new kid defied logic and farted on Nazi-Zombie-Princess Kenny’s balls.

 

“Yeah,” Human Kite responded nonchalantly, “I remember them.”

 

Mysterion used his small knife to hack into a drooping vine in front of them. The vine snapped, allowing them passage. “We managed to track down one of the experimenters that abused the new kid at the time.”

 

Human Kite took it with some melancholy that they abused the new kid in the government agency. He was only aware that they were trying to use their powers to make friends, but he didn’t think that far. Curiosity filled his mind as he asked, “How did you find out?”

 

“Find out what?” Mysterion asked, asking for clarification. “Who they are? Where they live?”

 

“Yeah,” Human Kite asked. “How did you figure all that out?” 

 

“Let’s just say,” Mysterion pushed a brush of bush and revealed to them their destination, “Trial and error.”

 

* * *

 

Craig and Tweek followed the physics student through the old building. The hallways looked rundown and dim; the lamps illuminating more orange than yellow lighting.

 

“The professor you mentioned is over this way,” the student gestured, “Let’s hope he’s still here.”

 

Craig remained silent as he held the lens in the box. Every step in the building was slowly ticking his heart one by one. For once, he was getting antsy.

 

Tweek noticed the difference in Craig’s behavior and nudged his arm, slowly bumping his elbow into Craig’s arm. He watched as Craig jumped from the small shove; his attention now going to Tweek.

 

“Calm down Craig,” Tweek told him, “We’ll be back in time.”

 

Craig smiled at the sound of assurance. It felt strange to him- the feeling of someone watching out for you. It reminded him of the time he and Tweek switched roles for a day.

 

“Here we are,” the student asked. They knocked a few times on the wooden door; the sound echoed across the deserted hallways.

 

Within a few seconds, they heard footsteps from inside. Craig’s face lit up as maybe, there was a chance of hope and-

 

The door swung open, revealing inside an old Russian man inside.

 

“What do you want?” The man asked, his accent thick and heavy.

 

“Hey, sir?” The student asked, “These kids said that you sold a telescope to them and they need a replacement lens?”

 

“Who are you?” The man asked Craig.

 

“I’m the boy you sold your telescope to.” He opened the box, revealing the lens, “You sold this to me a few years ago.”

 

“I remember you,” the man coughed, “That telescope was pretty good, but the department got us an observatory so we didn’t need these telescopes anymore.”

 

The man examined the lens, noting the giant crack in the lens. “It seems you have cracked glass. How can I help with this?”

 

“I just want to buy a new lens,” Craig told him.

 

“Come in into office. I have spare somewhere in here.” The man opened the door wider, allowing the two children in.

 

* * *

 

_10:24 pm_

 

Mysterion unrolled a sheet of paper on the ground, revealing the blueprints of the home.

 

“Apparently, the man we’re after is trying to reduce his karma by raising a foster home.” Mysterion pointed to the front door. “This house has seven bedrooms and four bathrooms. It’s about two thousand square feet and has two stories not including the basement.”

 

“How did you do recon on this Mysterion?” Human Kite asked.

 

“I googled it,” Mysterion admitted, “And the new kid helped me find everything too.”

 

The new kid pointed towards the living room, pointing at a small box against the wall.

 

“That’s right.” Mysterion sighed, “This foster family is raising their kids to be Buddhist.”

 

“Buddhist?” Human Kite asked, “What’s bad about Buddhism?”

 

“Don’t you get it Human Kite?” Mysterion asked, “Buddhism is like half agnostic, and you do know what that means right?”

 

“No?” Human Kite told him.

 

Mysterious sighed, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

 

The new kid snapped their fingers and pointed back to the blueprints.

 

“Right. We need to follow through with this plan.” Mysterion referred back to the map, “We need to get the guy alone. Butthole, can you do that without being seen?”

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“Human Kite,” Mysterion called, “You protect Butthole if their cover gets blown. Otherwise, keep the family downstairs.”

 

“What are you doing then, Mysterion?” Human Kite asked.

 

“I’m going to get them arrested,” Mysterion revealed to them, “These foster parents abuse their kids by depriving them of meat products and other things.”

 

The new kid put their hand in the middle, nodding at the two other heroes. Mysterion put his hand in the middle, then Human Kite.

 

“Break!”

 

* * *

 

“Found it,” the professor announced. He pulled out from the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet a black box similar to the one Craig currently held in his hands. “See if this is it.”

 

The professor placed the black box on the table, allowing Craig to climb up a chair to see it. He opened it up, seeing a brand new unopened lens inside.

 

“Let me check the specs.” He picked up the cylinder, observing the sides and the descriptions as best as he can without tearing the plastic.

 

Craig cheered, “This is it.”

 

“Okay, why don’t you take it with you?”

 

Craig set the lens down and turned around, looking at the professor. “Wait? What about paying for it?”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” The Russian professor said, “There’s no point in me selling this to you because this is the last lens I probably have. They stopped making these models last year and frankly, it just feels wrong.”

 

“Thank you sir!” Craig smiled, jumping off to hug the man.

 

Tweek was now flustered, as this was the first time he saw Craig openly hugged a stranger.

 

“Just be a physics professor when you’re older kid,” the professor told him. “That’s all I ask.”

 

Craig sniffed, “Okay.”

 

Tweek was now confused, because Craig is now crying. Tonight was way too emotional for him.

 

* * *

 

The foster home consisted of twelve foster children, a mother, and the father- a past member of the evil government group. Human Kite and Butthole looked through the window, seeing the twelve kids all sitting in the living room.

 

The younger kids, all within the ages of six and younger, were playing with miniature toy cars and trucks. The older kids- kids around their age- were sitting at the couch watching television. The oldest kids- kids in late middle school and high school- were all on their phones. The two parents were on a different sofa in the room, reading a news paper.

 

“How are we gonna separate everyone?” Human Kite asked. “There’s so many people inside.”

 

Butthole scouted around the inside of the living room. They needed a plan that would somehow separate the father out of everyone, and they needed to remain downstairs. They scanned around, seeing the television, the couch, the staircase to the second floor- they didn’t know what to do.

 

“Wait a minute.” Human Kite got off the peeking window sill and unhooked his kite. “I’ll go to the chimney and blow a gust of wind.”

 

The new kid rolled their eyes, grabbing their phone.

 

> How do we refrain them from going upstairs.

 

Human Kite thought for a moment, “That’s true. Are we going to scare them into the basement?”

 

Buttlord had an epiphany, realizing what they should do.

  

> We can scare them into the basement.

 

“How do we do that?” Human Kite asked.

 

* * *

 

The plan was set into motion.

 

Human Kite stood a few meters away from the house, using his kite to feel the breeze. Once the draft picked up, the kite on his black allowed him lift off. He flew a few meters into the air, the string tied around his belt anchoring him to the ground.

 

With the wind picking up, Human Kite could feel the air flow through his body, all of his energy picking up into his back. As he was “charging up,” Kylewas sensing the directions of the wind, taking note of them.

 

When the energy collected to the point he couldn’t hold it, Kyle aimed at the building, sending large gusts of winds towards the wooden structure.

 

Inside the living room, the kids could hear the whole building shake. Frames of pictures on the walls started shaking; decoration nicknacks were starting to tumble on the floor.

 

“Everyone!” The father yelled, “The basement! Now!”

 

The twelve kids all ran to the downstairs stair case, the two parents going last. The wife was able to go on the first step before the ground underneath them shook. She fell down the flight of stairs as a set of roots blasted forward, closing off the basement.

 

“No!” The husband yelled. “Damn you!”

 

“John!” The wife yelled, “Help us!”

 

“I can’t Linda!” He yelled back, “You guys are closed off!”

 

As the new kid watched the family struggle with their situation, the Human Kite climbed back down, using his own string to wring himself back to earth.

 

Mysterion, in the upper level, silently walked throughout the hallway. He was very aware that the house shaking was most likely Human Kite’s doing, and he was going to use his sweet time to pull the perfect crime for the family.

 

He stopped at every doorway he met along the way and opened up each door. The first was a broom closet, the second a restroom. The room revealed to be a large room with four beds in it. Resting on the bed was a small and frail boy with blemishes covering his face.

 

“What the fuck?” Mysterion came into the room, running to the bedside of the occupied bed.

 

The boy in the bed must of been younger than him. He wore glasses; his hair was a fair brown. The weirdest part was that Mysterion recognized him from somewhere.

 

The boy opened his eyes, and was surprised to see who was in front of him.

 

“Y... Your... You’re Karen’s guardian angel!” The boy yelled.

 

Mysterious now remembered him as the boy who got sprayed with doctor pepper during his time at a foster home.

 

“What are you doing here?” Mysterion asked. “And what’s on your face?”

 

The boy sat up, revealing these weird blemishes on his neck and arms. “I... I got moved to this foster home after the agnostic parents got arrested.”

 

“But why are you here?” Mysterion asked, “And why are you covered in blemishes?”

 

“They... they won’t let me eat meat!” The boy coughed, “This household is Buddhist, meaning no one here eats meat!”

 

“Oh my god,” Mysterion finally realized what was all over his body, “You have little vaginas sprouting everywhere! We need to get you to a hospital!”

 

Downstairs, the father of the house silently walked around the living room, carrying a double barre shotgun in his hands.

 

“Who are you?” He shouted, circling and backing up. “What do you want from me?”

 

The man knew that someone was after him. The roots had to come from somewhere, and after realizing the living room window was open, something else was in the living room with him.

 

“Come out where I can see you!”

 

The new kid hid behind the wall, standing on the staircase going to the second floor. They needed a way to get rid of the man’s shotgun, then they can confront him. Human Kite had already alerted the authorities, so they needed to act fast.

 

Peeking around the corner, the new kid saw that the man was now looking away from the window... and behind the window was Human Kite!

 

The new kid grabbed their phone out and texted Human Kite,

 

> Get ready to shoot your laser at his gun.

 

They waited until Human Kite nodded through the window to pull of their move.

 

Buttlord ran around the corner and used their ability known as Dragon Reversal to appear in front of the man. Using their legs, they kicked the man backwards, sending him a few spaces away- in front of the window. Human Kite saw the opportunity and fired a set of lasers at the double barrel shotgun in the man’s hands- sealing the barrels off.

 

The man yelled as he dropped the heated gun in his hands, falling on the floor as well.

 

Buttlord then used their root burst ability to knock him backwards, pinning him to a wall.

 

“Who are you?” He asked, trying to get up.

 

Buttlord pulled out their phone and started texting everything to Human Kite. From the window, Human Kite spoke everything the new kid texted.

 

“ _Vincent Johnson_ ,” Human Kite read on his phone, “ _You were part of a large government agency that ran experiments on aliens a few years ago_.”

 

“Y-yes.” The man coughed out blood, spitting it on the carpet. “Why are you doing this?”

 

Human Kite read, “ _Over five years ago, you electrocuted a kid and his parents because they failed to comply with the experiments_.”

 

“Those were- they- they told me to do it!” The man breathed heavily, slowly losing the feeling of his trapped arm in the root. “We- we were in California and- and-“

 

“ _And what_?” Human Kite read, “ _Why were you in California_?”

 

“The whole experimentation was in California!” The man yelled, “The tear subjects were supposed to do an experiment in a suburban area but they weren’t complying! We had to torture them but then we were over run and then-“

 

Outside, the sounds of sirens came and grew louder by the second.

 

Buttlord pulled out the roots and sucked them back into the dirt.

 

The man, free from the grasp, fell forward on the floor.

 

“Now leave.” Human Kite read, “Before I go over there and- hey are you sure you wanna do this?” He asked the silent hero. “That sounds pretty bad.”

 

Buttlord looked down at their phone, angrily texting a response.

 

Human Kite read the text, reading their response. “I understand.” He looked up, and saw that Vincent, the culprit, had stood up and grabbed a vase next to him.

 

Vincent threw the vase with all of his might at the new kid.

 

“New kid!” Human Kite yelled as he twirled around in front of them. The vase shattered upon impact, bursting open at the surface of Human Kite’s kite.

 

“Stop right there!” Mysterion yelled as he jumped down the staircase. He ran and used his abilities to kick the living shit out of Vincent. Sending two punches and a kick, he did a back flip before performing a drop kick, sending the foe down.

 

* * *

 

The police had secured the area, surrounding the whole perimeter with police cars.

 

“I didn’t do shit!” The wife screamed, tugging both of the officers holding her down, “I didn’t do jack shit!”

 

“Shut up!” The officer yelled, “You have the right to remain silent. But can you please say ‘I’m white trash and I know it?’”

 

The woman said, “I’m white trash and I know it,” before a giant red stamp displaying “White Trash” stamped across the screen. She was deposited into a police car.

 

At the front door, several police officers were questioning the eleven children that were trapped in the basement. All of them informing the officers the strict religious affiliation and their meat-less diet.

 

Human Kite was observing the interview from afar, watching the officers write down the reports. He looked behind them and saw the house shaken by the wind. The house looked like it was tilting sideways, all because of him. He felt his phone vibrate, and pulled it out.

 

> Thanks for saving me back there.

 

Human Kite turned around and saw Buttlord tapping on their phone.

 

> I couldn’t of done any of this without you.

 

Human Kite smiled, “I’m glad that you’re doing stuff like this.” He pointed to the ambulance, now treating the boy Mysterion found with the multiple vaginas forming on his body. “You saved a life and a bunch of kids.”

 

Buttlord stepped forward, texting on their phone whilst looking at Human Kite, “I’m glad that you’re okay with me doing this type of stuff.”

 

They leaned their head closer to Human Kite, closing the distance between the two of them.

 

Human Kite had read the message and looked up to see the silent hero approach him.

 

As if it were magic, Human Kite knew what to do, and stepped closer.

 

They were now face to face, mere inches away from each other.

 

Human Kite closed his eyes,

 

 

he tilted his head a bit to the right,

 

 

he puckered his lips,

 

 

 

 

and connected them with Buttlord’s lips.

 

The kids between the new kid and Kyle sparked a spontaneous reaction. As if the universe stopped spinning around them, the two kids were on another plane of existence. Their two souls collided, both bashing and connecting with each other until a combined soul from the two of them was birthed.

 

Human Kite opened his eyes as their lips parted.

 

“New kid,” he whispered.

 

Buttlord opened their eyes, blushing at the action that just occurred.

 

Human Kite blushed as well, realizing how cute the new kid looked after a kiss.

 

_Wait a minute,_ he thought, _I JUST KISSED THE NEW KID!_

 

Buttlord grabbed their phone and typed something immediately. Their thumbs flew at fast speeds, but almost none of them were hitting the right keys. It took them about seven seconds to send

  

> I should go and help Kenny

 

They turned around and dashed to where Mysterion was located, trying their best to hid the amount of red leaking from his mask.

 

Human Kite spent the rest of that moment sitting on a tree stump, slowly picking the petals off a flower.

 

“They love me. They love me not.”

 

* * *

 

“Let me go!” Vincent yelled, “you don’t understand!”

 

“Shut up!” The officer yelled, “You have the right to remain silent!”

 

Buttlord appeared behind where Mysterion was standing as they started shoving Vincent in the police car.

 

“Take him to Silicon Valley California,” the office told them, “he’s wanted by the California government as well.”

 

“Wait! You don’t understand!” Vincent yelled as the door was shut behind him. For a second, the sounds of him explaining were mumbled. He kept ranting and ranting until the officer in the driver’s seat rolled down the back window.

 

“- I can’t go back to California since the hobo wars!”

 

Buttlord felt something in their mind snapped.

 

“The hobos... they- they were everywhere. They were even in our base and they invaded us! We had to move our whole operation to New Mexico because the hobos had learned to hold bags of oranges!”

 

Buttlord stood for a moment before realizing they knew what he was talking about.

 

“Shut up!” The officer yelled, trying to quiet the man.

 

“It’s true! The homeless came the ol’ Califor-nie way!”

 

Buttlord’s vision shook this time, noticing their doze going away.

 

“Buttlord?” Mysterion asked, “Are you okay?”

 

Buttlord was now slowly swaying back and forth; their balance was slowly becoming off.

 

“Get him to shut up!” Mysterion barked as he caught the silent hero before they fell on the ground. “Buttlord!”

 

They did not respond. Their eyes were still open, their breathing constant.

 

“Get him some help!” Mysterion ordered the officers. “They’re unconscious!”

 

Immediately, several officers scurried as they ran around in circles looking for the paramedics. They were screaming for a medic to come to the area, alerting all the officers to run over to where Buttlord had fallen.

 

Human Kite noticed the sudden crowding and decided to fly up for it. They stabbed their anchor nail into the ground and spread their kite out behind them. The wind picked up, slowly lifting the frail hero off the ground.

 

“We’re losing him!” Mysterion yelled. “Where’s the medic?”

 

“Kid, give him some CPR!” the nearby officer told them, “We’re having a truck on standby come for him.”

 

“They use they them pronouns!” Mysterion informed them. He placed both hands on Buttlord’s chest, and started doing chest compressions. He pushed their chest up and down, using his body with perpendicular force thirty times.

 

After that, Mysterion nervously closed into Buttlord’s face, scanning their face for any sign of reaction.

 

Human Kite was now at a height where he could see what was in the middle of the crowd. In the middle, on the floor, was Buttlord lying on the floor and Mysterion on top of them. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing- the two heroes were being watched by all the police officers at this point. He just hoped that they weren’t going to-

 

“Just kiss him!” The police officer yelled.

 

_No._

 

Mysterion closed in, taking one giant breath to fill up his cheeks.

 

_Don’t do it._

 

His face was now inches away from Buttlord; his eyes now closed as he was about to make contact.

 

_No!_

 

Human Kite gasped in horror, almost losing balance in his kite. His body fell down before another draft picked him up, allowing him to see what had happened.

 

Mysterion was now kissing the new kid.

 

Human Kite could feel the draft blowing less, descending him from his great height. As his body was gliding closer to the ground, his heart was sinking closer to the pits of his body. When he was only a few feet above the officers, the officers started cheering. They were cheering and celebrating, because Mysterion had kissed Buttlord.

 

_No._

 

_Kenny kissed the new kid._

 

Human Kite made it to the ground and closed his kite against his back. He dug the anchor spike out of the ground and placed it in his pocket.

 

 

 

 

For the first time in a while, Kyle cried alone.

 

* * *

 

_11:23 pm_

 

Craig and Tweek had arrived back in Craig’s bedroom. The two boys immediately got to work, grabbing the new lens out of the box.

 

“Hand me the screw driver on my desk,” Craig ordered.

 

Tweek quickly dashed over to where the desk was, grabbing the only screw driver that was on the flat surface. He turned around and walked over, handing him the screwdriver by holding the end piece.

 

Craig grabbed the handle and went to work, removing the screws of the telescope so he could incorporate the lens.

 

“Hey Tweek,” Craig asked, “Can you look up when the moon will come up tonight?”

 

“Got it,” Tweek said as he grabbed Stripe #4 out of the cage. He went over to the bed, allowing the guinea pig to roam freely above the bedsheets as Tweek pulled out the laptop. Craig could hear Tweek tapping on the keyboard harshly as he screwed the lens in place.

 

“Hey Craig,” Tweek asked. “I confused.”

 

“What is it babe?” Craig asked.

 

“It says the Super Blue Blood Moon isn’t coming on until 2:50 am pacific standard time.” Tweek said, quoting the website.

 

“Pacific standard time?” Craig wondered, “We’re the mountain time zone. What does it say for us?”

 

“That’s the problem,” Tweek told him, “it doesn’t say.”

 

Craig quickly dashed over to behind Tweek, looking to see the news page Tweek was reading on.

 

“The Super Blue Blood Moon,” Craig read, “Blah blah blah. In the continental U.S., the best views of this ‘super blue blood moon’ will be- IN THE FUCKING WEST?”

 

Tweek scrolled down, trying to find more information, “Skywatchers in the eastern U.S. can expect to see only the initial phases of the eclipse before the moon sets?”

 

“No no no!” Craig said, now jumping on the laptop. He was typing everything on the google search bar as he was desperate to find something.

 

Finally, a link had worked.

 

“Okay something is here!” Craig pointed. He skimmed the graph and the timezone CST, reading off the times. “The first fucking phase starts at 3:51 am?”

 

“That’s so early!” Tweek said, “And it ends at 9:08!”

 

“No no no!” Craig yelled, “We’ll miss it because of fucking school!”

 

“Craig,” Tweek yelped, “Calm down!”

 

“Calm down?” Craig yelled, his voice now reaching its peak in anger, “I can’t fucking calm down when I’m going to miss a fucking super blue blood moon!”

 

“Craig,” Tweek told him. “We can’t even see the whole eclipse from start to finish anyways.”

 

“What?” he yelled.

 

“Umm… The mountains are in the way.” Tweek read on the report, “and it also says that we won’t even see the full red.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“THAT’S FUCKING BULLSHIT!”

 

* * *

 

_1:24 am_

 

Kyle was back in South Park as he received his twenty-third text from the new kid

 

> Where did you go?

  

> Kyle?

 

> Kyle!

 

> Oh God Kyle where are you?

 

> Did someone kidnap you?

 

> Please respond!

 

> I need you to respond please!

 

Kyle left his phone vibrating as he walked around the empty main street of South Park. Light, minor piano chords played in the background as Kyle walked across the empty sidewalk. Passing by the closed Freeman Tacos, the song played in the background.

 

 

> **Dun. Dun. Dun dun. Dun. Dun dun. Dun. Dun dun.**

 

A set of violins played as the chords only got lower by each active.

 

 

> **Dun. Dun. Dun dun. Dun. Dun dun. Dun. Dun dun.**

 

Kyle turned to the closed D-Mobile store and stared inside the window. Seeing the chained up and closed windows, he also saw his own reflection, standing and staring in the window. Slowly, the reflection changed into the new kid.

 

 

> **I can't love you in the dark**

 

Kyle turned away, walking down the street once again.

 

 

> **It feels like we're oceans apart**

 

Kyle continued walking down the street, passing by the town square and city hall. He stopped at the intersection, staring at the LGBT Center in the distance.

 

 

> **There is so much space between us**

 

 

> **Maybe we're already defeated**

 

Kyle was already across the street and in front of the church; sprinting to the forest.

 

Once at Stark’s Pond, Kyle ran towards the bridge that connected towards the other side. He reached the midpoint of the bridge before his legs gave out. His hands reached out as he fell forward, his face in agony as he heavily panted.

 

 

> **Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah everything changed me**

 

As a light snow began to fall, so were small tears coming out of Kyle’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

_1:30 am_

 

The new kid was frantically panicking as they got off the bus at South Park.

 

“New kid,” Kenny told him through his muffled hood, “Calm down.”

 

The new kid took their phone out, texting out,

 

> It’s your fucking fault that Kyle’s gone!

 

Kenny read the text, and replied, “Hey! I didn’t know if you were unconscious! I was giving you CPR!”

 

> I was fine I was having another flashback.

 

“New kid,” Kenny said, frustrated, “I know we’re doing this for your flashbacks but you knew this was eventually going to happen right?”

 

> I didn’t realize you would suck my face out!

 

“I did not suck your face out! You sucked my face out!”

 

> AHHHHHHHH

 

“Okay, new kid.” Kenny held both hands in the air, “I give up. I need to head home.”

 

> *sigh* stay safe kenneth.

 

“Find Kyle.” Kenny looked around, seeing the empty buildings. “Knowing him, he might go to the forest again.”

 

> The forest?

 

Kenny read the text and turned to the direction of where his house was, “Kyle has a ‘special spot’ when he’s sad. You know what you’re doing?”

 

This time, the new kid didn’t text back. Kenny turned around, seeing the new kid stare at the ground.

 

“Hey. New kid.” When he saw the new kid look up, Kenny smiled, giving him a thumbs up. “Tell Kyle what you want him to know. Okay?”

 

The new kid smiled as they turned around, heading west to the forest.

 

* * *

 

_1:46 am_

 

Kyle was aimlessly wandering around the forest paths, eventually finding himself back at Stark’s Pond. He didn’t know why, but the forest seems to be leading him back there.

 

As he walked through the dark forest, he rubbed the small metallic bracelet on his arm. The silver bracelet was a small nicknack that he had gotten when he officially discovered himself as an asexual person- something to remind him that he had been proud that day to finally find the missing meaning behind his life.

 

Kyle could remember days where he would switch it up, wearing it on the left or wearing it on the right. And in a way, it kinda meant something to Kyle. He could remember asking Heidi out, his bracelet was on his right. When he asked out the new kid, it was on the left.

 

_I guess,_ he thought, _Girls are right arm, guys and non-binary on the left._

 

Kyle stumbled over a log and ended up right back at the shore of Stark’s Pond. He cursed himself, wanting to be in the depths of the forest. He turned around, deciding to go back to the dirt pathway, when he discovered a small light source.

 

In the distance to his left, he could see that there was a light being shined nearby where he was. Kyle decided that he would observe what it was.

 

After all, he had nothing better to do than think.

 

Kyle climbed over the rocky shore of Stark’s Pond and approached the source of light and sounds. As he got closer, the light only seemed to be getting brighter and warmer.

 

“Kyle?”

 

Kyle realized that he had stumbled upon Craig and Tweek’s picnic.

 

“Tweek?” Kyle asked. “Craig?”

 

“THat’s us,” said Craig, looking into a telescope.

 

“What are you doing here?” Tweek asked.

 

“I could ask you guys the same question.” Kyle responded, looking around at their set up.

 

The two boys had set up a telescope facing the sky and space. They also had a picnic tarp, a lantern, and a laptop mounted to the top of a small table.

 

“We’re watching the Super Blue Blood Moon,” Tweek told him.

 

“I thought that was in the morning,” Kyle told them.

 

“It is.” Craig responded, finally taking his eye out of the telescope. “We’re watching a clip from thirty something years ago on NASA’s website.”

 

Kyle walked to where he could see the laptop monitor and saw a circular, red sphere filling up the screen.

 

“But why are you guys out here?” Kyle asked, “Isn’t it freezing out here?”

 

“It’s not cold when you have someone else’s jacket,” Tweek teased, showing off his blue jacket he ‘borrowed’ from Craig.

 

“Plus, we have a heating blanket too.” Craig pointed to the blanket, revealing the source of their warmth.

 

“Wanna join us?” Tweek asked. “We have another blanket.”

 

Kyle considered turning around and wondering the forest, but considering how the snow was only getting heavier at this point, “Why not.”

 

He took a seat behind Craig, wrapping a blanket Tweek gave him around his chest. Immediately, Kyle could feel the warmth of the bottom blanket creating a warmth balloon around his body. He looked forward, seeing what was the super blue blood moon on the screen.

 

“Why is it called the super blue blood moon?” Kyle asked.

 

“Because,” Craig told him, “It’s a total lunar eclipse. The moon turns red from it being in Earth’s shadow and it’s super close to us.”

 

“You sure know about this,” Kyle said, observing the laptop screen.

 

The three sat in silence, watching the red moon and its features slowly changing as the positioning was shifting.

 

“Okay Kyle,” Craig said, “What the fuck happened?”

 

“What do you mean?” Kyle asked, realizing that now both boys are staring at him.

 

“You’re never this sad unless someone dumped you,” Tweek said, “Your frown and eyes say it all.”

 

“My frown and eyes?” Kyle asked. “I don’t understand what you mean,”

 

“We mean,” Craig bluntly told him, “You fall in love too quickly and get super heart broken about it like Taylor Swift or Adele.”

 

Kyle’s face showed more surprise than anger. “I don’t fall in love too fast-“

 

“Yes you do,” the both of them said.

 

“Nuh huh-“ Kyle rejected, but was cut off.

 

“Remember Heidi?” Tweek asked.

 

“Remember that one girl, Rebecca was it?” Craig asked, “She was home schooled wasn’t she?”

 

“That was a crush and-“

 

“Remember when you liked Nichole?” Tweek asked. “That was pretty sad how it ended.”

 

“And what about Leslie?” Craig mentioned, “She was an ad too.”

 

“Guys shut up.” Kyle told them, enclosing himself in his blanket cocoon.

 

“Ahh, Kyle,” Tweek called, “We didn’t mean it like that. We were just trying to tell you that… that.” Tweek thought about it, thinking about what to say next, “We just think that it’s because you base your decisions on both of your strong emotions and beliefs.”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Kyle asked.

 

“Everything.” Tweek told them. “It’s not exactly bad to do that, but it just gets you teased and manipulated more. That’s why you get into so many conflicts- especially with Cartman.”

 

Kyle thought about the recent fights with Cartman; with Stan; and with the new kid. _God,_ Kyle thought, _Tweek is right._ “So what do you think I should do?”

 

“I can’t answer that for you!” Tweek responded, “That’s too much pressure!”

 

“Kyle,” Craig said, calling Kyle’s attention. “We can’t tell you what to do. We’re gay and we’re both fucked up kids.”

 

“Craig’s right,” Tweek said, “It’s really up to you to decide what you’ll do for now on.”

 

Kyle stared back at the monitor, seeing the red moon slowly coming out of the shadow. _Maybe Tweek and Craig are right. Maybe I put emotions in front of common sense too much. Maybe I’m just too short tempered and logical._

 

The bushes rustled, the three boys turning their heads. They all watched as another figure came out of the forest path.

 

“Hey new kid,” Craig greeted.

 

“Hey new kid,” Tweek said, slightly pushing Kyle to stand up.

 

“New kid,” Kyle said, not budging to stand up.

 

The new kid texted on their phone

 

> Can you come with me please?

 

Kyle turned to the two boys on the blanket. “Excuse us please.”

 

“Just go home you two,” Tweek told them. “We’re just about wrapping up.”

 

The new kid smiled and waved, guiding the red head back to the forest pathways.

 

Once they were a safe distance away, Tweek and Craig started talking.

 

“Wanna follow them?” Craig asked.

 

“I think they’re gonna kiss again,” Tweek admitted.

 

“I’ll bet five bucks Kyle starts it,” Craig said as he flipped the monitor off.

 

“Deal. I hope the new kid starts it.”

 

* * *

 

_2:03 am_

 

The new kid and Kyle were on top of the bridge that overlooked the pond. The two were standing an equal distance away from the middle; both too hesitant to stand next to each other.

 

I wanted to thank you for joining my tonight.

 

Kyle sighed, “You still haven’t explained to me why you and Kenny go on these missions.”

 

The new kid looked at Kyle, turning their head a complete 90 degrees to look at them directly.

  

> I had a flash back earlier.

 

“A flash back?” Kyle asked. “Are you saying you remember something?”

 

> The reason why I go on these mission things with Kenny is because he’s helping me regain my memories.

  

> They started coming back to me after we threw the stick of truth into this lake. At first, they were small things. I could remember what my favorite colors and clothes were. And once we went on our first mission, I could remember so many things. 

 

> I even remembered that I was born in Los Angeles California in Santa Monica. Everything else is pretty much a blur.

 

“Then...” Kyle paused, “What did you remember earlier?”

 

The new kid turned their head back to the lake, watching the reflective surface water collect the small snow particles.

  

> I remembered why I left California. 

 

> Since birth, I was always contained and experimented on by that government group. They did horrible things to me, to my parents, and to their other subjects.

  

> There was a day when we were in the midst of an experiment, when a homeless man made their way into the military base.

 

> They asked for spare change, and asked for more. Eventually, the military base got over run by them when all the homeless people in middle America went west. My family and I found an opening, and we made a run for it.

 

> Since then, we moved to multiple cities and towns, trying to hide ourselves from the government.

 

“Wow,” Kyle stated, “You… escaped because of homeless people.”

 

> Who knew they could be so helpful?

 

“Hey new kid,” Kyle asked. “So how do these flash backs do for you?”

 

> What do you mean?

 

“Do they help you find out more about yourself or your past?” Kyle asked. “Do they help you achieve nirvana or whatever?

 

The new kid had to put a lot of thought into this, as this may of been one of the most difficult things he had ever texted.

 

 

 

 

> I wanted to remember what my name was.

 

Kyle turned their head to the new kid.

 

> I still don’t know what my name is. My parents will never tell me; because they know that it’s better for me to remember that rather than them telling me.

 

“Wow,” Kyle said in amazement. “Wow new kid.”

  

> Kyle

 

Kyle held his phone up, reading the next messages.

 

> Did I anger you because of Kenny?

 

“Yes,” Kyle said immediately, “I’m sorry, I just thought that maybe you and Kenny were-“

  

> NO NO NO GROSS

 

Kyle was confused, reading the next messages. 

 

> His breath smells and his skin is so rough!

 

Kyle started chuckling. “So I take it that you didn’t like kissing Kenny?”

  

> Fuck no.

 

“Then what about me?” Kyle asked.

 

And then there was silence between the two.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

> Kyle, as much as I enjoy kissing you. I just want to remain close friends.

 

“F-friends?” Kyle asked. “But… but.”

 

> Kyle. I like you too. You’re a good friend. You’re a good secretary for the club.

 

> You’re an amazing person. But I just don’t think that I’m ready. I can’t even remember my own fucking name.

 

Kyle looked out to the lake once again. The surface was now turning from blue to white as snow stockpiled above the thin ice.

 

> Kyle, why don’t we make a deal?

 

“A deal?” Kyle read.

 

> We can still hang out and do stuff. But when I do find my name, then we can start dating and everything. Okay?

 

Kyle turned to his right to see the new kid there, sticking their right hand out. Kyle turned as well, shaking their hand with his.

 

“Then I guess it was fun while it lasted,” Kyle said. He felt his phone vibrate, noticing how the new kid was texting with solely his left hand.

 

> Well…

 

The new kid moved forward, connecting Kyle’s lips with theirs for the second time that night.

 

“Ah ha!” Tweek cheered, flipping off Craig. “You owe me five bucks.”

 

The two boys were a clear distance away, now using Craig’s telescope to spy on them.

 

“I knew I should of betted on the new kid. Kyle is too emotionally compassionate.” Craig took out his wallet and gave the five dollars to Tweek.

 

The two kids continued kissing until a snowflake landed on the new kid’s nose. They instantly dove back and sneezed, making a cute noise similar to a kitten.

 

Kyle laughed, commenting, “You sneeze like a kitten.”

 

The new kid blushed as their face turned red.

 

* * *

 

> As I'm coming close to the end of my notebook, I had yet to come across another argument I always find myself at.

 

> What defines a person? The fact that a person is human? The fact that they came out of another human?

 

> Or do we define a person as a social standard? Do we define the person through their legacy or reputation. Do we value someone's life by a unit of measure so we can compare it to another person?

 

> Does that mean I'm a person? A good person? 

 

 

 

 

 

> Who am I to you then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the title is miss leading, thank goodness amiright-
> 
> no in all seriousness, I actually planned the story to be like this over seven weeks ago. I practically wrote the whole storyboard around December, and then finalized it in Janurary 2nd I believe? So... yeah... get owned? Idk I try.
> 
> The next three episodes will not be a trilogy- I tried to that but it struck bad and I can't do it unfortunately. But it kind of scares me that there are only three episodes left to this series. Seriously, I was having so much fun doing this, I'm considering doing a season 2 if I have 1) enough support and 2) enough time. This time period I was cursed with having morning classes and night shifts, so that's why this story comes out on a Tuesday out of all days. So depending on what classes I get and how my job will look, I may or may not do a season 2. 
> 
> Btw, if I do do a season two (hehehe dodo) expect a break. I need time to plan this shit out to make it this* good. (Asterisk because I don't know if you consider the story to be good)
> 
> Anyways, thank you to Adele for writing Love in the Dark! I love Adele and everything she does and sings, so I decided this would work well in the story. Plus, what's South Park without some music number or some dramatic music cinematic? 
> 
> I don't have anything else to say, but thanks for reading. 
> 
> -Negira
> 
> P.S. if this story somehow becomes popular or mainstream I will release a second season earlier. I don't care if it does or doesnt; the fact is I'm still shocked that this story has attention at all- especially positive attention.


	9. Delay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Religion AU- well, my spin on it. 
> 
> Based on the Phone Destoryer mobile game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact I travel a lot- mostly for education and other academic related stuff. But anyways, I’m expecting myself to be late for next Tuesday’s chapter and I’m really sorry that this is happening. I expect myself to be able to upload the chapter Wednesday (21st) at night maybe? Or around there? I’m so sorry for this!
> 
> And in compensation, here’s a small portion of a small fan fiction series I was actually planning to start off. This series is not canon to the LGBT Season of South Park, and will most likely become its own series once I finish it. Yes, this story is unfinished, and I just wanted to make this clear.
> 
> I also haven’t edited the story yet, so bear in mind grammatical error and improper sentence structure. Sorry. 
> 
> -Negira

Today was November eleventh, 2017- Veterans Day.

 

Today was the day the town decided to throw a mini parade and celebration for the “veterans.” But really, it was an excuse for everyone in the town to party and to get drunk because of one free day in the week.

 

The streets of CtPaTown were filled with pickup trucks full of men and barrels of alcohol. The sidewalks were full of men and women dancing and partying to the music being placed by a local DJ.

 

On the other side of town, at the parking lot of the most creepiest place in town, The Ross Dress For Less, there were lots of food booths and entertainers performing. The town decided to most a secondary party there with food and other stuff to celebrate this “important” holiday.

 

But with more people nearby the Ross Dress for Less, that meant more people at Tweek Bros.

 

Tweek was working his ass off that day. With the massive crowd of people partying literally across the street, there was a massive line at Tweek Bros that extended all the way to Freeman’s Tacos- and most people weren’t actually going to drink the coffee, they really needed a restroom and Tweek Bros had a customers only bathroom policy. He was very angry at the people in line, but his parents didn’t care. More people = more business = more money, just like how Family-owned Coffee Company + Gay Son = More business, and that always means more money.

 

Tweek was very angry and anxious behind the bar. Since there was so many people, his father was the POS (cashier) and his mother was being customer service, and he ended up being the one behind bar because he was the fastest one of the three.

 

_-if you don’t know what the customer service position, or CS, means, it’s basically a position where you constantly restock all of the supplies for the people on bar. CS also talks to customers, brews coffee, lobby sweeps, and any other job that makes the store run more efficiently. Essentially, it’s the heart beat of the store._

 

Tweek looked at the order and saw that the person ordered a medium sized Americano, and the next drink was a latte. Thankfully, they had two espresso machines, so he could make both drinks. Tweek essentially slammed both empty cups into the slot and hit 3 and 2 on each respective machine before finishing off an ice coffee. He then grabbed a metallic pitcher and started filling it with milk to the appropriate line.

 

“Tweek, I’ll finish this.”

 

Tweak forgotten that Craig was working with him. Craig has recently asked the Tweaks for a job, and Tweek was tasked of training him. After training and certifying him, the two became a known duo and were a team behind the bar.

 

“K!” Tweek shook before jumping back. He had eighteen seconds before the machine was done dumping the espresso shots for the latte, and about twenty four for the americano. Craig had just finished steaming the milk and slid the pitcher across the counter for him to catch. He held the next drink and saw that it was for another ice coffee. Opening the fridge, he grabbed the pitcher of available iced coffee and poured the mixture about half way.

 

Craig finished off the drink he made and called it off to whoever it was. He looked over to Tweek, who seemed to be shaking more than usual. “Tweek? Are you okay?”

 

“Augh!” Tweek shook, grabbing the latte as soon as the last drip of espresso came out. He grabbed the next drink, which was another Americano, and slammed it on the rack and pressed three. His hand reached for the pitcher of hot steamed milk, and then poured it.

 

Except, there was no milk coming out. He tried to turn it more, but it wouldn’t turn. Instead, Tweek felt himself move and he met the floor tile at his face.

 

“TWEEK!”

 

That was the last voice he heard before passing out.

 

* * *

 

Craig could recall the events earlier that day. He and Tweek were working the bar at Tweek Bros. Tweek faints mid-pouring a latte, and passes out. Craig stopped his parents and called the ambulance as both parents had to close the store. The paramedics came and slid Tweek onto a gurney and immediately transported him to Hells Pass.

 

Craig made it there within twenty minutes of madman sprint. Tweek’s parents were still at the restaurant finishing whatever before driving over to the hospital.

 

Craig makes it to the hospital, only to be waited outside of the room Tweek was in.

 

Craig sees the doctor walk out, and he asks what happened.

 

Craig listens to hear that Tweek had a thunderclap headache. Several blood vessels in his brain ruptured from the constant stress and caffeine in his system. The crystal meth inside his body finally made his poor heart the condition it was as well. It also made his body weaker, making the blood vessels thinner and easier to pop.

 

Craig falls to the floor and cries. As the doctors calls out to the nurses, Craig kept repeating this single sentence in his head.

 

Tweek has passed away from a brain aneurysm.

 

* * *

 

On November Twenty Second, 2017, the Tweaks had a funeral for their son.

 

It was also that same day that made the citizens of South Park realize how unhealthy Tweek was. After finding out that Tweek died because of a popped blood vessel from stress- that came from lack of sleep from coffee, everyone decided to drop the caffeine consumption. They also found out that Tweek was very underweight as well- he was only forty eight pounds, fourteen pounds below the recommended average. They also found out that Tweek was also diagnosed with ADD and with anxiety.

 

That day, the parents of South Park made sure their nine-ten year olds were more than sixty pounds- all except for Craig, which we will get to later.

 

The funeral service was held at the Catholic Church at the West side of town. Everyone kid from the elementary school and every adult and parent attended as well. Some gave speeches; some gave flowers; and others simply gave their prayers. By far, this was considered to be one of the most successful funerals ever hosted in South Park.

 

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” Clyde said as the group of kids stood outside of the church. The clouds had partially cleared, allowing the church to be shined with direct sun light.

 

“I miss him already.” Token said, patting Clyde’s back. Clyde started crying from that, so Token wrapped his arms around the teddy bear.

 

“Tweek was such a good person.” Wendy grabbed a handkerchief and started crying into it.

 

“It sucks,” Stan added in, “Things won’t be the same without him.”

 

“Hey guys,” Kyle added, “Where’s Craig?”

 

“Craig is part of the service,” Butters added, “I think he’s still in there. Poor buddy.”

 

“Poor buddy indeed,” Kenny said, taking a seat next to Butters.

 

Bebe was also with them, but she remained silent, still shaken about losing her most favorite male bestie.

 

Timmy and Jimmy stood/sat next to each other, both not saying anything.

 

After a moment of silence, Craig came out and ran. He kept sprinting even after hearing the other kids calling him.

 

“Craig!” Clyde yelled, but Craig had already dashed into the woods.

 

*burp*

 

The kids all turned to see Eric at the doors. “Oh guys,” he said, “They made some really good pastries inside there.”

 

They all snarled at him whilst praying for Craig to be okay.

 

* * *

 

Craig dashed into the forest as soon as his part of the funeral was done. He was done with all of this- the sadness of losing Tweek, seeing people sad about Tweek. The negative emotions were really affecting him.

 

And what’s worse when he went to the podium to talk.

 

“Hello? Is this working?” He said, tapping on the mic. He took a breath, “I was Tweek’s boyfriend, and I was standing next to him when he had his brain aneurysm.” The folks in the audience were muttering to each other. Some folks he could see were Tweek’s relatives, “I just wanted to say that Tweek was the best thing... slash person, in my life. We’ve dated for about some time now, and I can already tell that he was my soulmate. And I can say that too, because he told me I was his soul mate as well.”

 

Craig dashed into the Forrest and came across his first four way interception. He turned right.

 

“Tweek was, and undoubtedly is still known as, the spaz kid.” Craig cleared his throat, “He hated the word spaz, and how people called him that.”

 

Craig found another interception and went right.

 

“He really wanted to be remembered as the guy who would do anything for anybody, as long as the task wasn’t too risky.” The audience gave a few laughs, “And even so, the greatest thing he’s ever come far to do was to get me to tell this speech.”

 

Craig found a third interception and went left.

 

“Tweek is, someone that I truly had feelings for, and that’s really rare, considering how bland and unemotional I am.” Someone in the crowd yelled true- probably Clyde. “And because of him, I was finally able to come out to the world as gay.”

 

Craig was tired out from sprinting, but he needed to get there soon. He made a right.

 

“And now, Tweek lies in heaven, with the Lord. I hope he does well and that he watches over us, because I really miss the frickin’ dude.” Everyone in the audience clapped as he bowed and walked off stage.

 

Craig could see it now- a small wooden house at the inside of the forest. And now he could see some animals too- some critters.

 

“Ooo, Rabbity-Rabbit, I do believe we have with us another human.” The bear said.

 

“Oh, hello human!” The rabbit jumped, “Are you here to see our lord and savior?”

 

“Please,” Craig panted out, “I can’t live like this.”

 

“Duh,” the porcupine started, “I wonder what he’s talkin’ about.”

 

“He probably wants to make a call to our lord and savior, don’t yah?” The rabbit asked.

 

Craig reached into his jacket and pulled out the cross necklace. He threw the metallic rod onto the ground- it ripped in half almost immediately. “I heard you Christmas Critters can make direct calls with Satan. I want two minutes to see my boyfriend.”

 

“By Golly,” the rabbit asked, “Why do you want that?”

 

Craig panted, before yelling, “I never said Good Bye to him! Or that I loved him.” His body fell forward and he started to cry into the snow.

 

Ever since Tweek passed away, Craig could only relapse the final moments in his memory. He could remember how busy the coffee shop was, and how the two of them were a team making drinks.

 

He could solely remember three minutes of that precisely, but every other moment was unforgettable. That precise moment was when he told Tweek, “Tweek, I’ll finish this,” and steamed his milk. When he was done, he asked if Tweek was okay. Then, he just fell on the ground.

 

He had not wished him good bye, or told him how much Craig loved him. Craig could never escape the reality that he was a bad boyfriend for doing so.

 

“Aww,” the bear said, “Rabbity Rabbit, what should we do?”

 

“Well, I suppose we could help the guy.” The rabbit jumped off the stump and looked at the cross on the ground. “Can you turned this upside down please?”

 

Craig grabbed the crucifix on the ground and plugged both ends together, and then placed it back on the ground inverted.

 

“Now, you need to say how you’ll accept our lord and savior to be your own lord and savior.”

 

Craig closed his eyes and prayed, “I accept Satan as my lord and savior.”

 

At that moment, he black outed.

 

* * *

 

Craig found himself trapped in this zero gravity fall into a fiery pit. Damn, he died and was going to hell- good thing Tweek is in heaven.

 

Wait, thats Tweek.

 

Tweek was the one floating in front of him. He had two red devilish horns on his head, and a swirly red tail from his back. Other than that, he seemed normal.

 

“Craig, you’re here!” Tweek happily sang.

 

“Tweek! I missed you!” Craig and Tweeked hugged each other. “I didn’t get to say good bye or I love you!”

 

“I feel the same way, Craig!” Tweek whispered into his ear, “I love you,” before he was pulled into a mouth kiss.

 

The two made a long, passionate kiss to each other. Their lips pressed against each other; their tongues, touching, intertwining, licking each other’s.

 

A clap of thunder struck and Craig pulled apart.

 

“That was two minutes, Craig,” Rabbity Rabbits voice echoed.

 

Tweek waved good bye before flying back into hell, and Craig’s body flew up, flying back to earth.

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

Craig woke up in front of Stark’s Pond immediately after. He was still in his tuxedo, white dress shirt and slacks on as well. He also realized that he was alone and that everything on him was still on him.

 

“Was that... all real?” Craig asked to himself.

 

He was only met with the silence of Stark’s pond.

 

He pulled his phone out, and realized that he was gone for half an hour. Craig stood up, dusting the snow and dirt off his tuxedo, and walked back to the Church.

 

Craig went over the dream or hallucination in his head. Tweek felt so real at that moment. His devil horns felt hard like ivory; his tail wrapped around his leg just like a cat’s tail. It was too good to be a fake dream, he thought.

 

Craig didn’t even realize that he made it to the church until he was bombarded by Clyde.

 

“Craig!” Clyde cried, “Don’t you dare leave me like that!” Clyde punched his arm and kept punching it until he stopped to cry on Craig’s shoulder.

 

Normally, Craig was pretty strong and athletic, but for some reason, those punches didn’t work... huh?

 

“Where did you go?” Token asked.

 

“I just needed to clear my head.” Craig admitted, “Stark’s Pond.”.

 

“See,” Stan jumped in, “Told you guys.”

 

“Craig,” Wendy called, “You’re being asked to come in for something.”

 

“Okay.” Craig places both hands in his pants pockets before walking onto the Church Courtyard- and that’s when he felt it.

 

Nausea. Dizziness.

 

Craig stopped after setting one foot on the ground and immediately turned around. He stumbled forward before tripping over a crack on the side walk,

 

“Craig!” Someone called. Craig couldn’t recognize who it was, until his body was moved so he was sitting up. “Craig!”

 

Kenny was holding him up. “I... I feel weird.”

 

“Don’t worry!” Wendy snapped into focus, “Bring him somewhere else. The funeral is probably making him woozy.”

 

Kenny, Stan, and Kyle brought Craig to the parking lot of the church and laid him down at a bench. Every other kid crowded around him.

 

“Craig?” Wendy asked, “Are you okay?”

 

“S...someone tell Mr. Tweak that I can’t go inside.” Craig said. “I... I feel really weak.”

 

“Don’t worry dude,” Clyde snickered, “I gotchu.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, after the funeral, Craig stayed at home. After the funeral, PC Principle decided to allow Craig the rest of the week off to grieve. He woke up alone in his house at eleven o’ five in his room with the sun shining at his face.

 

Craig draped the blanket a bit lower to reveal his face. He took his hat off and felt the flattened hair on top- he didn’t even shower last night, so his hair smelt of his key and dirty ness.

 

After sitting up right, Craig picked up his phone and saw that there were over a hundred notifications. Mostly from Facebook, Craig really decided to ignore them. Not because they didn’t seem that interesting, but something caught his eye that wasn’t his phone

 

It was his whole arm.

 

Whilst holding his phone up with his right hand, he noticed a black band on his wrist. Craig wasn’t the type of person to wear friendship bracelets or wear hair ties on his wrists, so he decided to pull up his sleeve.

 

Upon inspecting his wrist, Craig noticed how it was his whole arm that was covered in black paintings. Up to his shoulder, there were black swirls, pentagrams, inverted crosses, and black bands located throughout his arm. He rubbed his finger across the black ink, but it didn’t rub off.

 

“What the fuck?” He screamed. Putting his jacket on now, Craig went to the restroom to look at a full mirror the amount of bands on him. Luckily, the black had only infected his arm and shoulder. Nothing appeared on his neck, and nothing went beyond his wrist.

 

“God damn it!” Craig said, slamming both of his fists on to the bathroom sink. He wore his jacket back on and went to his room to feed Stripe.

 

When Craig walked into his room, the window immediately busted open. Numerous winds and leaves flew into the room, making everything in the room shake. “What the fuck?” Craig yelled as he walked over to the window. By the time he walked over, the wind was gone, and the leaves were arranged in a pattern on the floor. Craig slammed the window shut to inspect the damage.

 

Nothing from the shelves had fallen, and none of the drawers had moved. The only thing worth noticing was the leaves on his floor. The leaves were arranged into straight lines- three parallel lines to be exact. All the leaves were facing one direction, brown and brittle as if they were about to fall apart. The leaves on the sides, however, were also brown, but connected to the ends of the three parallel lines were skewed lines that connected all three.

 

Craig realized that this was a map of the South Park streets and pathways. He looked to the left, and noticed how there was only one green leaf, and that was located at where Stark’s Pond would be.

 

Craig looked at his watch and saw that it was eleven thirteen when he left the house to Stark’s Pond.

 

* * *

 

The spot where he found himself was identical to the spot Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and the new kid threw the stick of truth from. Craig stood at the spot, looking at the water in front of him. Being mid day, the sun shined brightly on the pond. Thewater was almost clear that day, the sunshine being able to shine half way through the body of water.

 

Craig found himself removing his jacket, unveiling the black short-sleeved t-shirt underneath. The black print along his arm was exposed to the outside; the outside coldness making his arm shiver. He set his jacket onto the ground beside him as he sat down. Craig waited only a few minutes at the ground before someone stuck his head. He instantly black outed and became unconscious.

 

* * *

 

Craig didn’t realize how long he was out for until he woke up. The bright sky that was earlier was now setting. The bright green trees that were around him were browning and dying. The dry soil around him was now becoming wet from the snow. The colors of the outside were the first things Craig noticed, because it took about several seconds for his hearing to kick in.

 

“Craig!” Someone was calling him. “Craig!” Someone was shaking him.

 

Craig tried to focus on the voice. It sounded so familiar like- it was high pitched and shaking. The voice was definitely a male, and a very feminine one to say the least.

 

Craig kept blinking his eyes for his vision to come back. As he opened and closed his eyes, he noticed something in front of him. Someone was shaking him- and they were blonde. Craig was able to see a golden blonde yellow surrounding a head. Below the head was green, and everywhere else was black.

 

“Craig!” The voice called out.

 

Craig pulled his arms up, inspecting himself. He was still wearing his black t-shirt; his jacket was somewhere else. He lifted his left arm, seeing no bruises and scratches. He then lifted his right arm and saw that the black prints were now glowing red.

 

“Wha... what the?” That was all Craig could muster out.

 

“Craig!” The voice still kept calling him.

 

The voice was undeniably someone he knew. The pitch was high, the sound went crescendo every time; it sounded way too familiar.

 

Lifting both hands and rubbing his eyes, Craig’s vision was clear enough to see who was in front of him.

 

On his knees, in front of him, was Tweek Tweak.

 

“Tweek?” Craig asked.

 

“Craig!” Tweek smiled, “You can see me!” The blonde dove in and hugged Craig.

 

“What happened?” Craig asked. “And... am I dead? Was this a dream? How are you here?”

 

Tweek decided to shut up Craig by kissing his lips. Craig immediately stopped talking and took the skinny blonde in, holding him tight to his chest.

 

When the two finally let go of each other, Craig realized the situation.

 

“Wait... where are we? What time is it? What happened?”

 

Tweek smiled at Craig. “A lot had happened, and it’s about six pm right now?”

 

Craig pulled his phone out and saw that he had 184 new notifications. The time also said 6:12.

 

“How long was I out?” Craig asked.

 

“Craig... can... can we go somewhere else? I want to leave.” Tweek demanded.

 

And that’s when Craig saw it. Tweek had devil horns, a swirly red tail, and two red velvet wings sprouting from his back.

 

“Tweek... what happened to you?”

 

Tweek smirked at Craig, “I became a devil.”

 

* * *

****

Craig watched Tweek wonder around his bedroom. Tweek looked normal- like if he was still alive. But Tweek still had two horns, fucking wings, and a tail coming out of him. He watched as Tweek found his guinea pig and stroke it. The guinea pig started squeaking in pleasure, but after realizing that no one was petting him, the guinea pig started panicking.

“What’s wrong with Stripe?” Craig asked.

 

“Shit I forgot.” Tweek stepped back to allow Craig carry the furry creature out. “No one can see me except you.”

 

“So Stripe panicked because someone was petting him, but he can’t see you?” Craig asked for classification.

 

“Exactly.” Tweek took a seat on Craig’s bed, his tail flew up and settled on the mattress.

 

“Can you actually move your tail?” Craig asked, placing Stripe back in its cage.

 

“Just like a third arm.” Tweek said, watching Craig sit next to him. Tweek made his tail slither and touch Craig’s thigh. “See?”

 

Craig smiled, “That’s pretty cool.”

 

The two were at a silence, both observing each other’s physical appearances after not seeing each other for a week.

 

Tweek noticed that Craig became paler since he died. His face had become a bit skinnier, his hat and jacket seemed more loose on him. Maybe Craig had gotten skinnier since he had died.

 

Craig noticed how Tweek was paler since he died. He remember what Tweek looked like at his death bed; on the floor at bar; in his coffin. Tweek was beautifully preserved and stuffed during his funeral, and now here was Tweek- dead, but full of energy and life. His horns looked like they were genuine ivory from a rhino- red and solid. His wings were very thin and velvet, as if they weren’t actually meant for flight. Craig looked at the tail that was swishing itself around. It was pointed like a spade at the end, the same color as the wings and horn.

 

“Craig...” Tweek broke the silence, “Do you want to know what happened?”

 

Craig made himself more comfortable by leaning against his head board. “What did happened earlier?”

 

Tweek took a deep breath. “So... you know how you made a deal with the Christmas Critters to talk to me for two minutes?”

 

“Yeah,” Craig definitely remembered that, “I definitely remembered that.”

 

Tweek blushed, “Well, what you did was you sold your long time faith with Christianity to the Christmas Critters, so that’s how you ended up with seeing me for two minutes.”

 

“Those were two nice minutes,” Craig said, looking at Tweek’s expressions for a reaction. Tweek blushed so hard, his face matched the red horns and tail.

 

“Let me finish!” Tweek yelped. He took another breath before continuing, “During those two minutes, I umm... may or may not of... blessed you.”

 

“You... blessed me?” Craig asked. “Is that a good thing?”

 

“It means I get to have your soul when you die, Craig.” Tweek told him. He rolled Craig’s sleeve slightly to reveal the black print. “That’s my name in demonic writing.”

 

Craig observed the small print on his wrist. He didn’t know where it labeled Tweek, but he took his judgement from it. “What does blessing me have to do with anything.”

 

“So umm... remember those... Christmas Critters?” Tweek asked. “When you came to Stark’s Pond, they... they knocked you unconscious so they could sacrifice you to Satan.”

 

“Figures,” Craig noted, “So they knocked me out.”

 

“And my blessing on your arm alerted me that you were unconscious,” Tweek grabbed his arm and traced the dark black prints with his finger. “And I saved you.”

 

Craig smiled at the devil in front of him. “So how did you become a devil?”

 

“Satan gave me the option, after he saw that I died from a brain aneurysm from caffeine and meth overdosage. And I took it.” Tweek’s face lit up a bit. “And that’s why I’m here right now.”

 

“You became a devil so you can see me?” Craig asked.

 

“I became a devil so I can become your guardian devil and protect you.”

 

Craig’s face instantly lit up as he dove straight to his boyfriend. “Tweek!” He cried, snuggling into the blonde, “You know how badly I missed you!”

 

Tweek started to tear up, “I can tell, Craig. You sold your faith.”

 

“Craig?”

 

Shit, it was his sister at the door. “What do you want?”

 

“Are you gonna eat with us tonight?” Tricia asked.

 

Craig realized that he hadn’t eaten in days. “Umm... maybe?”

 

“Okay.” His sister went down the hallway.

 

“Craig,” Tweek asked, “You’ve haven’t been eating.”

 

“I... I was busy with your funeral and I got knocked unconscious and I-“

 

Tweek stuck his finger out and tapped Craig’s lips. “No buts! Go eat with your family,” he demanded, “They can’t see me anyways.”

 

Craig smiled, “So am I the only one able to see you, John Cena?”

 

Tweek smiled and laughed, “Yes, Craig. You can see and hear me. Now go eat, I’ll follow you down.”

 

“Wait,” Craig asked, “What do you eat?”

 

“Souls.” Tweek said, nonchalantly.

 

Craig froze in horror, “What?”

 

“Just kidding!” Tweek laughed, “I’m basically human except that I can eat souls now.”

 

“So... does that mean I have to get you food as well?” Craig asked.

 

“Yes please.” Tweek nervously asked. “I think you should go down stairs.”

 

Craig wore his jacket correctly and opened the bedroom door. He and Tweek went downstairs into the lower level of the Tucker residence.

 

Tweek had been to Craig’s house numerous amounts of times. This also meant he knew the Tucker family pretty well and where they like to do certain things. He saw that the other family members were at the table, already starting on their food, and started to walk there with Craig.

 

And that’s when he realized that there were only four seats available. Tweek kicked himself, because he totally forgot that they can’t see him, and that he’s dead.

 

“Woah,” Tricia said, “Craig is here.”

 

“Craig, sweetie.” His Mother called, “Are you feeling better?”

 

Craig looked at the saddened Tweek in front of him. His wings and tail drooped to the ground. Tweek must of realized that he couldn’t eat with them.

 

“Yes mom.” Craig flipped her off. He made sure to tap Tweek’s shoulder before sitting at his seat.

 

Tweek got the message and walked back upstairs, waiting for Craig.

 

Craig had forgotten about how hungry he was until he took his first bite of mashed potatoes. His body was basically aching for food, and now after not eating for literally days, he needed to start eating properly.

 

Especially since he had a guardian Devil now.

 

“Craig, slow down.” His Mother told him, “You’re gonna get hiccups.”

 

“Yes mom.”

 

“Craig,” his father asked, “What did you do today?”

 

“I went to Stark’s Pond. Nothing else.”

 

“Did you visit his grave stone?” Tricia asked.

 

“No.”

 

“Then what did you do over there?” Tricia asked.

 

“Stuff.”

 

Craig was very angry at his sister at this point. The poor boy hasn’t eaten for days, and now you wanted to ask questions? Jesus, thought Craig, let me eat in peace.

 

“Hm, mm?” Tricia wasn’t pleased with her answer. “Did you see anyone there?”

 

“No.”

 

“What is at Stark’s Pond that’s so exciting anyways?”

 

“Stuff.”

 

“Craig!” Tricia angrily demanded, “What did you do over there?”

 

Craig really just wanted to eat his mashed potatoes and to get this dinner over with. But after seeing Tweek’s face staring upon him at the top of the staircase, he realized he needed to feed Tweek.

 

“Mom, Dad, can I... take the rest of this to my room?” Craig gave his parents a look that he had mastered recently- the look of depression. “I... I really don’t want to talk today.”

 

“Oh... um...” his mother was thinking, “You know what, sure.” His Mother got up and poured some more food onto his plate. “Take this with you. I want you to start eating regularly again. Okay honey?”

 

“Yes Mom.” Craig watched as his plate was filled completely with vegetables, meats, and carbohydrates. Carrying a set of utensils with one hand and the plate with the other, Craig thanked his parents before going upstairs. Tweek opened his bedroom door for him and closed it too as he went in.

 

“That’s... a lot of food you go there.” Tweek said, looking at the plate.

 

“Take it. I’m really full right now.” Craig set the plate on his desk and sat at his bedside.

 

“Craig, you have to eat normally!” Tweek said in panick, “You’re shouldn’t starve yourself!”

 

“Tweek, you know I don’t eat that much anyways.”

 

“Craig, you’re literally forty-five pounds for a fourth grader!”

 

“Forty. I lost some weight after you died.”

 

Tweek’s face flustered between anger and blush. “Forty?!?! You’re literally skinnier than I was when I fucking died! Jesus man, you need to eat some fucking food.” Tweek was about to rant at Craig mor, but noticed how Craig was smiling at him. He didn’t realize this until now, but Craig really did miss him. Craig was happy he could see Tweek happy again.

 

“Fine.” Tweek got the plate from the table and the utensils there and set them on his bed. He handed Craig the fork and sat at the other side of the bed. “You have to eat at least forty percent of this with me.”

 

“Can we put a movie up at least?” Craig asked.

 

“Fine.” Tweek got up and got the laptop that the two were sharing when they were dating and turned it on. As he sat back on his seat, he realized that Craig gave him the fork and was using the spoon.

 

“Hey,” Tweek pouted, “I wanted the spoon!”

 

“And I wanted to be spooned.” Craig retorted.

 

It took the two a hot minute before they realized what Craig said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here you go- a small teaser of a series I originally wanted to write about before LGBT Season of South Park. I actually started writing this series around late July, and I already planned out what would go down. Unfortunately, with LGBT Season going on, school, and other adult stuff I gotta do, I stopped progressing this series. If y’all like, I can continue this series, but maybe after LGBT Season ends.
> 
> And let me know how you feel about this series. I wanted to focus more on situational realism- and like... the faults of religion(s) in this series. 
> 
> And I’m so sorry about being late to this series; I didn’t expect this one thing to happen, and now I’m running late to this series again. Don’t worry, I’ll compensate for this chapter later on. Thanks!
> 
> -negira


	10. Wolverine Claws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Randy is super salty about not winning a Grammy, and a shooting occurs at a school. Welp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So funny story. This episode took a long time to actually write because 1) I was out of the country and had really shitty wifi. 2) I created a small team of people to help me with research (really, I just asked people for opinions about stuff. Let me sound professional Mkay?) . And 3) I changed the script for this chapter over four times. 
> 
> Anyways, without further delay, please enjoy. This chapter is already three days late and the next chapter hasn't even been written or approved for final script yet. Dear god lets see how much procrastination I'll do. 
> 
> Thanks for staying with me! I decided to leave the Religion AU story in here for those that want to enjoy it. I'll just make this story out of 12 chapters instead of 11 like I've planned. (maybe 13 for an epilogue not confirmed).
> 
> -Negira

-the night of the Grammy's-

 

On the screen displaced five screens with one artist in each screen in a pentagon formation. The top right had Jay-Z, the top left had Childish Gambino, the very left had Kendrick Lamar, the very bottom had Bruno Mars, and the very right had Randy Marsh- I mean- Lorde.

 

“Album of the year…” the current host announced, “goes to…”

 

 

 

 

“24k Magic. Bruno Mars.”

 

Everybody cheered as a woman’s voice credited the other people that were involved in the 24k Magic album. Bruno Mars smiled as he got on stage, his own song playing in the background.

 

“This is dumb,” Randy pouted. His producer nudged his shoulder, and Randy resumed smiling at the camera.

 

* * *

 

_Two Weeks Later_

 

“Hey new kid...”

 

The new kid turned around from their locker to see Kyle standing there. His backpack looked full and his hands held several binders.

 

“Can you come with me to Stan’s house after school?” Kyle asked. “He said his dad needed help.”

 

The new kid nodded, closing their locker door.

 

“Great.” Kyle smiled, “I’ll see you in a bit.” And with that, he turned around and continued walking to his next class.

 

“GAHHHH!” Tweek screamed, startling the students around him. “These’s been so many shootings at schools!”

 

“Tweek,” Craig assured him, “We’re not going to have a school shooting here.”

 

“Man-how do you know?” Tweek asked, checking his phone constantly for the news to refresh.

 

Craig sighed, feeling a bit of Deja vu in his thoughts. “I just don’t think any one here would actually attack the school. Maybe Cartman, but I don’t think he’ll do anything.”

 

Tweek leaned his head onto his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Promise to protect me in case something does happen?”

 

Craig smiles, reaching his hand around Tweek’s shoulder. “Definitely, babe.”

 

The two walked down the hallway, observing other students around them talk to each other about current events. Eventually, the two lovers made it to Token’s locker.

 

“Hey Token,” Tweek greeted, “Hey Clyde.”

 

Clyde waved at the two boys, smiling at them with a few books in his hands. “Hey Creek!”

 

“Creek?” Token asked.

 

“Oh god.” Craig face palmed. “Not you too.”

 

“Sweet Jesus it never ends,” Tweek covered his face by smearing it into Craig’s jacket.

 

“I just heard the girls call you two that,” Clyde told them, “I even saw the new kid showing them pictures of you two.”

 

“The new kid loves us,” Craig said nonchalantly. “So what did you want from us Clyde?”

 

Craig’s real purpose of meeting Clyde before their home room class involved Clyde sending him a personal text message the night before.

 

Clyde pointed his finger at Craig, shouting, “You didn’t cancel your Pandora yet!”

 

“Is that all?” Craig asked.

 

“Come on dude,” Token joined in, “The bet was that you quit Pandora if you guys lost.”

 

“Well,” Craig told them, “You guys said that I had to quit Pandora. Not Tweek.”

 

“Dude,” Clyde intervened, “You can’t do that.”

 

“Well, we already paid for the whole year,” Craig told them. “Right honey?”

 

Tweek responded by kissing his boyfriend on the lips- an action that grossed out both Clyde and Token. “And I fucking hate Spotify.”

 

Token and Clyde grunted as they grabbed their belongings, following the two boys to their homeroom.

 

* * *

 

The new kid walked out of the school building, expecting to see their favorite red head waiting outside.

 

But sadly, only one boy was waiting for them- a boy with black hair and a blue beanie.

 

“Hey New Kid,” Stan said as he looked around, “Kyle told me that he had something urgent come up. You ready?”

 

The new kid nodded, following the red head to his home.

 

“Alright fatass.” Kyle dropped his binders and stacks of paper onto the open bench. “What do you want?”

 

Kyle and Eric Cartman were both sitting at an open bench in the park on the Main Street of South Park.

 

“Keyl,” Eric said, “What if I were to tell you that we might have another terrorist attack?”

 

Kyle looked at Eric with an angered expression. “Really. Is that all you had to tell me?”

 

“Please Keyl,” Eric asked nicely, “You don’t understand.”

 

Eric turned his head in all directions, making sure no one was watching over them. Kyle sighed as he watched Eric grabbed a sheet of paper, jotting down some language onto the paper. He made sure it was mostly covered by his hand while writing, hiding its contents from any spies. When he was down, Eric slid the folded and closed paper across the park bench, allowing Kyle to read it.

 

Kyle lifted the paper, “I swear if this is some sort of joke-“

 

“Just read the fucking paper!” Eric yelled.

 

“Okay okay-“ Kyle unraveled the paper, reading in graphite what Eric had written down.

 

Kyle’s angered eyed and riled up face changed into panicked eyes and a worried frown.

 

 

 

“Trent Boyett was released yesterday?”

 

“It doesn’t stop there,” Eric opened his smart phone, handing the device to Kyle. “According to Jimbo’s shop records, someone bought several hand pistols, two shotguns, and five grenades.”

 

Kyle stuttered, “But that could be-“

 

“The person who bought them was only nine fucking years old!” Eric whispered, “Jimbo let him bought it because it’s fucking hunting season what do you think?”

 

“I- I still don’t believe it would be him,” Kyle admitted.

 

“Keyl,” Eric grabbed his phone and swiped a few times and handed back the phone. “Someone on the news yesterday highjacked a gasoline truck! Do you know what a nine year old pyromaniac could set off using a gasoline tank?”

 

“Jesus Christ.” Kyle pulled out his phone. “We have to call 911.”

 

“Keyl no!” Eric swatted the phone away, it landing in a pile of snow. “We can’t call 911. They’ll just set off the fire somewhere worse.”

 

“You’re right,” Kyle admitted. “So what should we do?”

 

“We need to find everything Trent stole,” Eric said, “And then we need to cross reference it with past events in the past.”

 

“And then we can cross reference it with online blogs and videos to see if it could work,” Kyle realized, “then we can-

 

“-Make a reference map of our school so we can find his his course of action.” They both said, simultaneously.

 

Eric and Kyle looked at each other, realizing that they both said the same phrase at the same time. Thy both backed away, disturbed by that outcome.

 

“Fatass,” Kyle called out, “How the hell can I trust that you’re not a part of all this?”

 

Eric turned around, facing away from Kyle. “Because Trent hates me too. He hates all of us- and the sckoo.”

 

“There’s something else to this, isn’t there?”

 

Eric’s sigh was the only answer Kyle got that hour.

 

* * *

 

Randy opened the door to the garage and closed it behind him. He pulled out his phone and sat at the stool next to the tool station against the wall. After he punched in the numbers, Randy held the phone to his ear, listening to the dial ringing.

 

On the other line was a woman with a headset inside a company office.

 

“This is the Grammy’s, how may I help you?” the woman asked.

 

“Hey, this is ummm- Bob.” Randy realized he shouldn’t release himself as himself or as Lorde. “I was wondering why Lorde didn’t win the grammy.”

 

“Oh, well let me answer that for you.” The woman muted her mike and whispered to the man next to her, “It’s another one about Lorde.”

 

“Oh deer,” the man said, “Just give them the generic answer.”

 

The woman unmuted the mike, “Sir, the people behind who are nominated to vote for who will receive a grammy are all talented and intelligent individuals who spend countless hours going through statistics and-“

 

“-that’s the same answer you gave me yesterday,” Randy said.

 

“Sir, we’re just giving our best answer to why Lorde lost.”

 

“Well, maybe you’re just giving us the most shittiest answer.” Randy replied back, his tone a bit lower than before.

 

“Fine. Sir,” the woman typed something on the screen, fed up by the constant calls. After several seconds she replied, “It says here that Bruno Mars had sixty percent of the majority vote. There- you happy now?”

 

Randy set the phone down on the table face down, not even bothering to hang up the call. He slouched onto the desk, his hand raised to cover the small tears coming down his face.

 

* * *

 

The new kid was outside of Stan’s house with Stan in front of them. Stan knocked on the door a few times, waiting only a few seconds before the door opened up.

 

“Welcome home Stanley. Oh, hey new kid.” Sharon said. “Come on in, have a seat.”

 

The new kid smiled and waved at the mother, following her son inside the humble home. They didn’t know why, but Stan’s home seemed to be so different from Eric’s or Kyle’s house. Stan’s house seemed to actually be bigger; as the living room was more spacious.

 

“Mom?” Stan asked, “Where’s dad?”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes, “Your father is in the garage working on his music.”

 

The new kid tilted their head in confusion. Stan already knew what was on their mind.

 

“Oh umm.” Stan lied, “My dad is a local musician…” he then stared angrily at his mother as he directed the new kid to the garage.

 

Stan opened the heavy door to the garage and found his father sitting on the stool with a guitar. “Hey dad.”

 

“Hey Stan.” Randy played a random cord, making a soft melody with major keys.

 

The new kid walked in behind Stan, standing in front of the musician with a blank stare.

 

“Oh hey new kid.” Randy hit a few notes on the guitar, and sang, “Lorde. Lorde, Lorde.”

 

The new kid stared in confusion once again.

 

“Dad, the new kid doesn’t know you’re Lorde,” Stan said.

 

_Wait. Randy is Lorde?_

 

“Shit,” Randy said without a care, “I umm… forgot.” He strum the guitar again, “Lorde. Lorde, Lorde.”

 

The new kid took a step back, realizing that Stan and Randy would never really lie to them… well. Maybe individually, but not together.

 

“I should give him a demo, huh?” Randy asked.

 

“Dad, you need to stop being depressed,” Stan said. “The Grammy’s was two weeks ago.”

 

“Stan, you just don’t understand.” Randy stopped strumming the guitar and set it on the work bench. “I’ve haven’t made music in years, and then I made my second album. And then fucking Bruno Mars has to step in with his 24 karat magic album.”

 

“Dad, stop being mad about Bruno Mars,” Stan told him. “He clearly sold more albums than you.”

 

“Stan, this isn’t about Bruno Mars making more sales than me.” Randy pulled up his laptop, showing on screen was a program with a bunch of modules and other music mixing software. “This is about me being a better singer.”

 

“Wait what?” Stan asked. The new kid was still confused about the whole thing.

 

“It’s simple. I can’t sing live or else I sound like me.” Randy opened a file in the laptop and turned on his phone’s microphone. “So why can’t I sing live with autotune?”

 

Randy pressed a bunch of settings on his laptop, and spoke into the mike.

 

> **But it’s just a supercut of us**

 

The new kid slowly backed away and sat on the garage floor. This was gonna take them a while to get used to.

 

“Dad,” Stan said, “That’s not why people picked Bruno Mars over you-“

 

“I just realized something Stan. I need you and the new kid to get out.”

 

“But dad-“

 

“No buts Stan!” Randy picked up the new kid and Stan and essentially hurled them to the house. He also closed the door behind him.

 

Stan sat on the floor with the new kid still in shock. “It’ll take you a while to get used to it.”

 

The new kid was still in amazement as the forty-five (I think) year old man behind that door was the seventeen year-old inspiration they had been treasuring since Melodrama came out.

 

* * *

 

“Come on Kyle,” Eric yelled, “We don’t have much time!”

 

The two boys were on their way to Jimbo’s gun store. They both collected a fair amount of money for the both of them to carry one handgun- in case of emergency.

 

“Cartman,” Kyle said, “You can’t tell me to hurry up if I’m ahead of you.” Kyle and Eric continued sprinting down the street, passing the Whole Foods to their right.

 

By the time they arrived at the gun store, Eric was completely out of breathe while Kyle stood normally.

 

“Heh-“ Eric breathed heavily, “Fuck you Keyl.”

 

“I’m going in,” Kyle said, rolling his eyes as his hand pushed the door into the store.

 

Jimbo’s store had somewhat changed over the years. Sure, there was still a giant U of display cases that promptly displayed fire arms, ammunition, and other gun accessories.

 

“Oh- hey Kyle,” Jimbo greeted. “What brings you here at my gun store?”

 

“NNNNN Hello. Kyle.” Ned said through his little voice box.

 

“Jimbo,” Kyle asked nicely, “I need a fire arm for self defense. Something small though. Got anything?”

 

“Well, by the state of Colorado, I’m obligated to ask you what it is you need self defense with.”

 

“I ummm.” Kyle didn’t want to lie to Jimbo- especially since there was a lot of security cameras everywhere.

 

“We need it for a potential predator that might kill us.”

 

Kyle turned his head to see Eric coming through the door.

 

“We’re both going to be in the woods and we saw some rattling in the bushes. We just wanted something in case something does happen.” Eric walked towards the display case, fully inspecting the items behind the glass. “How much are hand guns?”

 

“Sorry kids, but I can’t sell you hand guns,” Jimbo announced.

 

“Awww,” both Kyle and Eric frowned.

 

Jimbo lifted a smaller gun in his hand, “But I can sell you this instead.”

 

The gun Jimbo held in his hand was smaller than a pistol- it was the size of his palm. “This here is a small carry gun. It’s called a Walther PK380. It’s .380 ACP, 3.6 inch barrel black, 8 round, and it comes with 1 mag.”

 

“How much is that?” Eric asked.

 

“Unfortunately, with guns being more restrictive and with all the new laws, I have to charge you $280.”

 

“$280?” Eric asked.

 

“And I can only sell it to Kyle.” Jimbo added, “Sorry Eric. The whole town of South Park already has your background check so you can’t check out any guns.”

 

“Damn it.” Eric looked around, “Is there a weapon I can carry for self defense then?”

 

“I’m afraid the only thing I can sell you are these.” Jimbo bent down and pulled out the claws. “These are X-Men Wolverine claws, but made with real blades and metal.”

 

“How much are these?” Eric asked.

 

“Ummm… $170.”

 

“Let’s take it.”

 

* * *

 

Stan and the new kid were inside Stan’s room. Stan was sitting at his computer while the new kid was sitting on Stan’s bed, going through their laptop.

 

“Hey new kid,” Stan asked. “I wanted to ask something.”

 

The new kid picked up their phone and texted back.

 

> What did you want to know?

 

“Are you and Kyle dating?” Stan asked. He watched the new kid pick up their phone, and hesitate to unlock it.

 

> Umm… No. Where did you get that idea?

 

Stan rotated his chair so he was facing the new kid directly. “Wendy and I were going out that night and we say Kyle walking over to your house with his backpack.”

 

> Oh. We were just having a sleep over.

 

“That’s cool.” Stan rotated his computer back. “Hey new kid?" 

 

> Yeah?

 

“Can I ask you another question?” 

 

> You already did. But go on.

 

“What do you do if you like two different people?”

 

The new kid was actually quite surprised by Stan’s question. It wasn’t the question that threw them off, but how Stan delivered it.

 

Stan asked this question slowly. The new kid could tell that the question had been on Stan’s mind for a while; so much so that Stan needed to slowly ask it, making sure he didn’t butcher anything.

 

> What made you sure that you like two different people?

 

Stan took a deep breath, “New kid, don’t tell anybody this but…” His fingers were being rubbed against each other, his hands fumbling to remain in a still place, “I like Wendy and everything, but I also like-“

 

“STAN! STANNNN!”

 

Randy banged open the door with his laptop. “I just figured out a new song I can sing!”

 

“Not now dad!” Stan said, hiding his now blushing face. “We were in the middle of doing something!”

 

“That can wait Stan.” Randy sat down on the bed beside the new kid and fired up the microphone. “I just got off the phone with Post Malone! We’re going to collaborate on a song!”

 

~~-Author’s note: I’m too lazy and unoriginal to actually write a new song, and obviously I'm not gonna hire Sia to sing the fucking song on a fan fiction.-~~

 

“That’s great dad,” Stan said, “Now can you please-“

 

Randy’s phone rang, and he instantly picked up. “Yeah huh. Yeah. Yes- Oh that’s great!” Randy put the phone to the side, “I got Khalid and SZA to help with this song too!”

 

“That’s pretty cool dad but-“

 

“Stan! New kid! Listen to this!” Randy turned the microphone on and started singing,

 

> **A couple rebel top gun pilots**
> 
> **flying with nowhere to be.**

 

Randy’s voice came out of the laptop as clear as Lorde’s voice, with no indication that there was any voice modification at all.

 

> **Don’t know you super well**
> 
> **but I think that you might be the same as me**

 

“Okay dad you got your point now leave!” Stan shouted, pointing to the door.

 

Randy’s smile turned to a frown, seeing how upset his son was.

 

> **Behave abnormally**

 

Randy got his stuff and left the room.

 

“Sorry new kid,” Stan apologized, “My dad is so stupid.”

 

The new kid chuckled, texting on their phone.

 

> What were you about to say?

 

Stan gulped once more, trying to get back into the zone he was in earlier. “I like Wendy a lot. I really do. But… I’m having feelings for another person.”

 

The new kid smiled, texting back,

 

> Is this person a girl… a boy? or someone non-binary?

 

“New kid…” Stan remained silent after that, his face flushed with red. “I… I don’t know how to answer that.”

 

The new kid smiled and texted a second question.

 

> Let’s start something easier. What do they sexually identify as?

 

Stan read the text and breathed, “Ummm… he-they. They!” Stan clarified, “Are asexual.”

 

The new kid did their best to hide a squeal. But unfortunately, it was a lot harder to hide, as it escaped a little.

 

“New kid, what are you squealing about?”

 

The new kid simply texted back,

 

> I know who you like! *heart emoji*

 

They also brought up an old phone contact,

 

> Hey Kyle. Man, I got a surprise for you!

 

* * *

 

The next day at school, Tweek nervously took his seat in the class. He looked around, scouting the walls, windows, and the door for any possible exits in the case there is an emergency.

 

It took a lot of courage for Tweek to actually get outside his house today. After reading an article stating how there was a school shooting every sixty hours since the start of the new year, Tweek was extremely afraid to go to school. It took his parents, Craig, Clyde, and Token just to get him out the front steps alone.

 

“Honey, it’s going to be alright.”

 

Tweek turned his head to his right, and saw Craig standing beside him. “Man, I just feel it. Today seems weird.”

 

“Maybe it’s because it took five people to get you out of your house,” Clyde joined in.

 

“Clyde. It took seven to get him to school,” Token added, “Kevin had to delay the school bus you know.”

 

“Sorry guys,” Tweek told them, “You guys are great friends.”

 

“Tweek, just take a deep breathe and keep calm.” Craig tiptoed up to reach the desk and rested his right hand on Tweek’s flat palm. “I’ll be here with you okay?”

 

“Okay,” Tweek smiled, ready to take the rest of the day on.

 

* * *

 

In the center of the town square, a bunch of people gathered around the stage, ready to listen to the upcoming performance.

 

Randy had set up a concert in South Park as Lorde, where Post Malone, SZA, and Khalid were to arrive and perform Homemade Dynamite. Security was set everywhere at the event; a person at almost every other 10 feet creating a bubble.

 

“Hey new kid,” Stan asked, “Remember yesterday?”

 

Stan and the new kid were dragged out of school that day. PC Principal allowed this action, as he was very excited that an international star like Lorde was having a concert in the town. The two boys were standing backstage, both sitting

 

> Yeah, what about it?

 

The new kid realized that Kyle had not been on his phone the whole time after their conversation yesterday. They wondered what the redhead was up to.

 

“New kid, I want things to stay normal between us but I really like-“

 

The crowd in the front screamed as the host of the event started walking on stage.

 

“God damn it,” Stan cursed.

 

“Welcome to South Park!” the man screamed, receiving a louder cheer back. The audience was completely filled with adults and teenagers that ditched their school time.

 

“Are you ready to party!” he screamed. The crowd cheered, jumping up and down and waving their hands in the air.

 

“HEREEESSSSSS- LORDE!” the man walked off the stage as Lorde walked onto the stage, mic ready in hand.

 

“Thank you everybody for coming!” Lorde announced. The girls in the crowd cheered louder, as the audience presented a higher pitch in cries. “Let’s get things started!”

 

Music started playing in the background as Lorde prepared themselves with the standing mic.

 

> **A couple rebel top guns**

 

The crowd was already cheering at the sound of her voice.

 

> **pilots flying with nowhere to be.**

 

* * *

 

Outside of the school, the weather had cleared up and there was less snow on the ground. The sun had come out, but it was still a cold and chilly day.

 

Standing outside, in the front of school, was a boy with blonde hair. He was as tall as the other fourth graders, maybe even taller. He wore a sleeveless flannel of red and black plaid. His black shirt and black jeans were tucked nicely, as a gold yellow belt secured them in place. His blonde hair ran wild, as it appeared to not of been tampered with.

 

“South Park Elementary School,” the boy said. He lifted the hose off the ground, “You’re going to burn today.”

 

And the blonde boy went to work. Using the gasoline he stole from the truck, he went around the whole school, dispensing the thick black sludge around the perimeter. Being an expert at being hidden- after his many attempts of breaking out- he was able to coat the bottoms of the walls with gasoline. He also created small puddles of the flammable substance in areas where the building had more support.

 

After that, the boy dropped the hose and walked back to his hidden bag on the ground. He pulled out two handguns and pushed them into his front pockets. He then pushed two more in his back pockets. The boy also applied the grenade clips onto his belt, slowly attaching the five green grenades onto himself. Finally, he wore a cross strap on himself, arming himself with two shot guns sling over his back.

 

Loading the bullets into one of the shotguns, the boy approached the yellow school. The school bell rang and the side doors opened; the kids slowly running out to the playgrounds for their recess time.

 

“Time for you fuckers to die!” Trent yelled, firing the first shot into the air.

 

* * *

 

> **Our friends, our drinks, we get inspired-**
> 
> **blowin’ shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite-**

 

Lorde yelled into the microphone, “Here’s Khalid!!!!”

 

The crowd cheered as a smoke machine created a giant smoke puff in the back of the stage. Walking out of the smoke was a black man with a full beard and a microphone on himself.

 

> **I wanna feel the light, pushing our limits**
> 
> **unbuckled for the ride, mhmm**

 

As the artists kept performing, the new kid and Stan were simply jamming out in the back stage. The new kid was swaying their head back and forth in the beginning, enjoying the music and melody of the song. Stan noticed the head swaying, and simply stood up. Stan reached out his hand, and the new kid accepted it.

 

And now the two were holding hands, spinning and dancing around together as Stan’s father was performing on the stage.

 

> **We’re way too far from home**
> 
> **Let’s be honest with ourselves**
> 
> **we’re way too high to drive.**

 

“You’re having fun new kid?” Stan asked.

 

The new kid smiled, silently laughing at Stan’s goofy dance moves. Stan had grabbed his pants’ waist band and held it up, doing some fancy country foot work with them.

 

“Hey!” Stan laughed, “It’s better than what you’re doing!”

 

The new kid was doing a hip-hop step chain that they somehow knew from memory. But with the foggy memory, they were doing the wrong steps and were horribly coordinated.

 

“Let me show you,” Stan said, grabbing both the new kid’s hands. Stan stood in front of them, simply swaying them back and forth. As he stretched his foot back, the new kid noticed and stuck their foot forward, following Stan’s motions.

 

> **So let’s take on the night**
> 
> **if the light is in the air**
> 
> **open, finally, we’re goin’ and we’re free**

 

“Now follow me this way.” Stan directed the kid to twirl a 180, moving his hands to help the new kid in front of them spin. The two kids were giggling, surprised to see that they were doing something so coordinated.

 

“Ready new kid?” Stan asked. The new kid nodded, and Stan dipped the new kid down. The new kid fell a few feet lower, but was able to remain stable through Stan.

 

Both Khalid and Lorde sang,

 

> **Our rules, our dreams, we’re blind**
> 
> **blowing shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite**

 

The new kid gasped as he saw Stan smile directly down at him. His blue eyes sparkled like clear ocean water; his black hair was slowly cracking though the beanie that he would always wear.

 

> **our friends, our drinks, we get inspired**

 

Stan lifted them back up with the one around around their back, and circled his hands as the new kid spun in a clockwise direction. The new kid grabbed Stan’s hand in time, unwrapping themselves until they were stretched away, an arms distance away from each other.

 

> **Blowin’ shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite.**

 

The new kid smiled, realizing that this was the first time they had done something like this. The two kids pulled each other in, their hands interlocking the fingers together. Stan pressed himself closer, moving his chest closer to their dual hand holding bonds.

 

When the two singers were done with the chorus, SZA joined in,

 

> **I checked your girl at the door**
> 
> **I sent your friend to the store.**

 

Stan blinked twice, noticing that the new kid was slowly coming closer to their grasp.

 

The new kid’s smile turned into a widened expression, realizing what was going to happen.

 

> **It’s only me and you, finally us two**
> 
> **and I don’t regret drinkin this liquor, making you listen**

 

But something in the new kid was making them go. Something inside them didn’t break the contact with Stan’s wondering eyes.

 

> **Yeah, I know you don’t know me well**
> 
> **(know me well)**

 

Stan closed his eyes as he shortened the distance between their lips. He freed his hands and fingers from the connection and used them to hold the new kid’s face in place as he covered the new kid’s lips.

 

The new kid was surprised to see that their hands went to wrap themselves around Stan’s waist; their lips touching and pressing against each other.

 

> **My girl’s at the door**
> 
> **and I left my pretense at room**

 

The two kids’ remained in place as the crowd’s cheers got louder by whatever was being performed on stage.

 

> **and it ain’t no goin’ back**
> 
> **(goin’ back)**

 

* * *

 

When the sounds of the shotgun echoed throughout the whole school, the kids remained frozen in fear. They all knew the sounds of guns too well; paralyzed from the feet up at the sound of the double barrels.

 

Within an instant, a fire alarm was pulled.

 

The kids started rushing back inside the doors. Most kids ran back to their class rooms, hid under their desks and behind walls hidden in sight from the classroom window.

 

Tweek was screaming under his desk. At the sound of gunshots and the alarm going off, Tweek dove under his desk, tugging his blonde hair as he screamed his head off.

 

“TWEEK!” Craig was on the floor too, tugging the blonde. “Be quiet!”

 

The teacher of the class room ran to the classroom door and closed it; locking the door shut. “Is everyone here?” She asked.

 

The students in the class did a fast head count, trying to see who had left the classroom already.

 

“Teacher!” Butters yelled, “Eric’s not here!”

 

“Kyle’s not here either!” Wendy yelled.

 

“Oh no!” The teacher yelled. “Everyone hide along the wall. Remember the drill for in-school invaders.”

 

Kyle and Cartman sprinted down the hallway with their weapons in their hands. Kyle had his gun taped to his right wrist; prepared to rip it out in case he needed it. Meanwhile, Cartman was laughing as he ran through the hallways with his realistic wolverine claws.

 

“Do those even work fatass?” Kyle asked.

 

The two boys pulled up to a corner, both moving to the right side. They checked both sides of the extending hallways before running down the right.

 

“They do work Kyle!” Eric said, “Just trust me.”

 

“It’s really hard to do that,” Kyle said.

 

“Fuck you jew!” Eric said.

 

_**BANG** _

 

The two boys dove to the sides of the hallway at the sound of the gunshot.

 

“He’s in the Cafeteria,” Eric pointed.

 

“We need to talk to him,” Kyle said, “Maybe we can talk him out of this-“

 

“Kyle! For the last time! No. MORE. GODDAMN. SPEECHES!” Eric yelled, making a middle finger with his wolverine claws.

 

The two boys stood up and walked towards the cafeteria doors. The doors themselves were mostly covered except for two window panes at the doors.

 

Kyle tiptoed first, seeing what was going on inside.

 

“Jesus Christ!” he yelled.

 

“What’s going on in there?” Eric asked.

 

“Ike’s in there!”

 

* * *

 

“Thank you!” Lorde yelled towards the crowd. The group of artists had just finished the first set of songs of their concert; now about thirty minutes into the event. Lorde waved as she went to the side of the stage, ready to go back stage.

 

Lorde walked into his dressing room, getting prompted for more make up and other wiring. “Lorde, you’re doing great,” the woman said, reapplying some makeup on her head.

 

“Thanks Jenny.” Randy said.

 

“Hey Lorde,” Stan said, walking into the dressing room with the new kid following them. His face still lingered a smile; his cheeks still a fluorescent red.

 

“Hey Stan.” Randy said, not turning his head away from the mirror. “Are you enjoying the concert?”

 

Stan hiccuped, “Y-yes.”

 

“Lorde! Lorde!” the producer opened the door of the dressing room and ran in, “The rest of the concert is canceled!”

 

“Wait really?” Lorde asked, “Why?”

 

“South Park Elementary!” the producer huffed, “There’s a shooting there!”

 

“A shooting?” Stan asked, “Oh no!”

 

The new kid grabbed Stan’s hand, tugging him towards the exit of the dressing room.

 

“Lorde, I’m going home!” Stan yelled.

 

“Okay Stanley! Be safe!” Lorde said as she quickly sat up from her chair.

 

Stan and the new kid ran out of the security just before a police vehicle pulled over to the event. The two boys were a safe distance away from the event, now deciding what to do.

 

“What do we do new kid?” Stan asked. “We need to go back to school!”

  

> Yes we need to help out the school.

 

“But I’m nothing without my power drills!” Stan told them, “What can we do?”

  

> Trust me. I got a plan.

 

The two boys sprinted towards the school; unaware of the faith in front of them.

 

* * *

 

Inside the cafeteria, the kindergarteners and preschoolers were all standing on one side of the room. Trent was standing at the other, aiming the shot gun at the preschool teacher.

 

“Mrs. Claridge!” Trent yelled, aiming the gun at the teacher’s head. The teacher was stationary in her special wheelchair. “This is what you get for getting me to juvie!”

 

He pulled the trigger, shattering the brains of the preschool teacher everywhere.

 

The kids inside screamed as small pieces landed on the kids in front.

 

“Now who’s next?” Trent yelled. He scanned the student in front of him, seeing some people that stood out in the crowd.

 

“Your head is weird,” Trent announced, “You!” he pointed to Ike.

 

Ike, with both hands in the air, slowly walked forward, standing in the space in-between the shooter and his classmates.

 

“You have long hair for a boy,” Trent said, “You!” he pointed to Frickle.

 

Frickle slowly walked forward, standing next to Ike.

 

“You look completely black for a white girl,” Trent said, “You!” he pointed to Allison Mertz, the vampire kindergartner.

 

She joined Ike and Frickle in the middle spot.

 

As Trent was searching for another kindergartner, Ike scanned the cafeteria for some sort of plan. In his search, he saw Kyle at the door.

 

Kyle was waving behind the window, pointing to Ike’s right. Ike looked in that direction, and saw that the area where they got the food from in the cafeteria was completely empty.

 

Ike saw that in front of him Trent was completely focused on picking. Inside his pockets, he remembered he had a bottle cap in his pocket.

 

“Psst.” Ike whispered. “I have a plan.” 

 

The two other kindergartners nodded.

 

“Everyone move to the wall!” Trent ordered. Trent aimed his gun as the kindergartners in the middle of the room moved to the side wall. “As for the rest of you,” Trent walked over to the door where Kyle and Eric were standing.

 

“Oh shit!” Kyle and Eric dove and hid behind a trash can as the double doors slammed open.

 

As Trent was opening the doors, Ike was able to snag the bottle cap in his pocket.

 

“Everyone get to the fucking door!” Trent ordered. In a single line fashion, the kindergartners, and the teacher, slowly made their way to the door.

 

Using this time, Ike flicked the bottle cap towards the kitchen of the cafeteria. The plastic cap flew and bounced several times on the ground, rolling behind a table next to the kitchen.

 

“What was that?” Trent yelled. He made his way over, still aiming the shotgun at the line of kindergartners, towards the kitchen.

 

He was at the area of the cafeteria where students picked up food; distracted by the noise from earlier. Kyle and Cartman ran into the cafeteria, ducking behind the lunch benches.

 

“Guess who we found?”

 

Trent came back to the main cafeteria floor, holding a girl from her collar. She was small- probably one of the younger students in school. She had a green jacket and brown hair with purple pigtail ties.

 

Kyle gasped as he realized who this student was.

 

 

 

 

It was Karen; Kenny’s little sister.

 

* * *

 

Stan and the new kid were already outside the school, but were stopped to see a lot of police vehicles parked along the outside.

 

“I want a perimeter set up!” the police officer yelled, barking at the other officers. “We need to get four officers in a squad into the school.”

 

The two boys ignored the officers and managed to go around the side entrance, where the goth kids usually hung out.

 

“Do you think we can get in there?” Stan asked.

 

The new kid pulled the handle, and managed to open the cafeteria door without breaking a sweat.

 

“Well, okay.”

 

The two kids wandered into the kitchen of the school. The entire area was lit up, but pots and pans were still scattered.

 

“Stay close,” Stan whispered. He looked around the corner, and spotted another kid hiding behind the stove. The kid saw Stan, and scrambled over.

 

The girl hugged Stan, crying silently into his jacket.

 

“They took her! They took Karen!” the girl whispered.

 

The new kid realized that she was talking about Kenny’s little sister Karen.

 

“Where are they?” Stan asked.

 

“Cafeteria!” She whispered.

 

The new kid peeked up, and saw the whole situation in front of them.

 

Karen was tossed on the floor in the center of the building. She was covered in her own blood; bruises and cuts on her face and arms. Next to them were Ike, the goth kid Frickle, and a vampire kid they didn’t recognize.

 

The new kid also noticed a familiar green hat hidden behind a lunch bench. They nudged Stan to peek over, signaling him that it was safe. When Stan stuck his head up, he saw the whole scene in front of them.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Stan whispered.

 

The new kid pulled out their phone and texted:

  

> Stan- We need to figure out how to save Karen

  

> Kyle- I’m inside the kitchen. Do you have a weapon?

 

“Stay here,” Stan said to the first grader. “You’re safe here okay?”

 

“I’m scared,” the girl cried, “We need Karen’s guardian angel.”

 

“Karen’s guardian angel?” Stan asked, confused.

 

The new kid’s eyes widened, as a plan came to his mind.

 

* * *

 

Trent sent another two punches to Karen’s side and a kick to her stomach. She slid across the floor like a rag doll, her back hitting the all of the cafeteria.

 

“Where the hell is Kenny? Your brother?”

 

Karen coughed up several times, wheezing out the air caught in her throat to speak correctly. She spat out some blood, and said, “I don’t know.”

 

“I don’t know I don’t know I DON’T KNOW!” Trent pulled the shotgun into position and placed his right hand on the trigger.

 

Within an instant, the window above him shattered. A black force dove down, stamping in front of Trent.

 

“What the-“ Trent was sent flying backwards as the force uppercutted him.

 

As Trent landed on the floor, his vision cleared up to see who was in front of him. It was a boy in a purple costume with their underwear on the outside. They had a question mark symbol on their head as well.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Trent asked, grabbing his shot gun with his hand.

 

“I am your worst nightmare!” Mysterion ran forward, readying his fists for combat.

 

In the same time, Eric Cartman ran out of his table cover and brought out his wolverine claws.

 

With Mysterion in front of him, Trent paid no attention to the fat kid running behind him. Trent sent several punches to Mysterion’s face, sending the boy flying to the floor.

 

“Guardian angel!” Karen yelled.

 

“Take this you butt fucker!” Eric slashed his claws into Trent’a back, making the blonde boy howl in pain. The shotgun strapped to his back fell backwards as the claws managed to tear the strip off.

 

“AHHH! That does it!” Trent used his left hand to pull out the pistol in his back pocket. As he lifted the gun and pointed it to Mysterion, he extended his left arm, giving him a more firm hold.

 

“Not so fast!”

 

_**Bang** _

 

Trent screamed in pain as a bullet from somewhere drilled deep into his left forearm. He turned to his right and saw Kyle holding a small carry gun in his hands.

 

Since he lost his attention, he didn’t notice Mysterion performing a round house kick to his face; ultimately sending him down to the ground.

 

* * *

 

The police evacuated the school after Trent had been caught. The kindergartners were also sent home after two police officers were questioning them.

 

“Good job today boys,” the officer said, “you stopped a school shooting today.”

 

Stan, Kyle, Mysterion, the new kid, and Cartman were standing in line.

 

“We saw that Trent had been released yesterday,” Cartman said, “So we took matters into our own hands.”

 

As Eric and the officer continued talking, Mysterion was able to pull the new kid off to the side; hidden away from everyone.

 

“Thanks New Kid for texting me earlier,” Kenny said in his normal voice. “I owe you one.”

 

The new kid grabbed their phone and texted,

  

> You would of done the same to me. You don’t owe me anything.

 

As soon as Kenny read the text, he dove forward, wrapping his arms around the new kid’s neck.

 

“Thank you thank you thank you!” He said. As Kenny let go of the new kid, he dove back in, sending in one quick peck on the lips.

 

“I really like you new kid. See you soon!” Kenny ran through the police crowd, finding where Karen was being bandaged at.

 

The new kid stood there silently, a hand over their lips. Their face was now a new definition of red, as that was they realized how much that kiss way from the week’s before. They wondered back to where the other three boys were standing, but only saw flashes.

 

“Spin Magazine!” A man yelled, holding a microphone in his hand, “Can you boys tell me anything about the school shooting?”

 

There were numerous reporters now standing behind the yellow caution line the police had set up. Several news trucks were also parked along the facility; each having its own representative team at the front lines.

 

“This is South Park News!” A woman yelled, “How was the school shooting defused?”

 

As more and more reporters asked about the shooting, more police officers had come in and blocked the area. “Step away from the premises,” the officer ordered, “We need you to step away from the area for safety reasons.”

 

“Safety reasons my ass!” The Spin Magazine reporter yelled. “We’re just trying to find out why that boy shot up the school!”

 

All the news reporters started chanting “rabble rabble rabble,” thinking that it would work.

 

“Guys... chanting ‘rabble rabble rabble’ won’t work,” the officer told them.

 

The news reporters stopped chanting after hearing that.

 

“Alright alright,” Detective Harris came to the scene, wearing his standard uniform. He walked towards the crowd of reporters and stood on a box on the ground as a podium. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the first ever school shooting that we’ve had in South Park.”

 

For some reason, Stan, Kyle, and Cartmen felt that he was wrong about that fact.

 

“We’re looking into this investigation as soon as we can. There’s too many leads and too many possibilities on why a school shooting will occur here in South Park.”

 

Kyle rolled his eyes,

 

“For one thing, the shooter of the school only attended the school when they were at preschool. Perhaps they had a horrible memory of this school when they were little.”

 

Stan scuffed, “He’s somewhat right at least.”

 

“With shootings like these, we will never know what the real motivation is. But for now, let’s blame it on the fact that our teachers don’t have guns to protect themselves.”

 

“YEAH!” The reporters shouted.

 

Kyle, surprised by what Detective Harris announced, said, “Wait a minute everyone-“

 

“And maybe we should allow all other school staff members a gun as well!” the South Park News reporter shouted, “Then maybe our schools will become more safe!

 

“Everyone stop it!”

 

The reporters and the police officers all looked at the source of the scream- Kyle.

 

“Everyone!” Kyle yelled, “Giving more guns to school staff isn’t going to decrease school shootings!”

 

Everyone was silent in the crowd, except for one person in the crowd. “Yeah it will!” The crowd was silent again.

 

“People. We need to have tighter control on who owns a gun!” Kyle brought out his small carry gun from earlier. “Look at this! I bought this gun without a background check!”

 

The man in the crowd that shouted earlier shouted again, “Yeah, but you shot the kid that was threatening the school.”

 

Kyle angrily sighed, “that’s not the point! I’m trying to say that we need to be more restrictive with who carries firearms!”

 

“Oh,” Detective Harris pointed at Kyle, “You’re a goddamn Liberal who wants gun control!”

 

“Booo!” The crowd booed at Kyle, shaming Kyle’s opinion.

 

“Goddamn it everyone!” Kyle yelled back, “I’m not on the left wing! I’m not on the right wing! I’m a fucking kid who wants to feel safe for once in school!”

 

Tweek, who was with Craig sitting outside of the school, looked over to Kyle.

 

“Please everyone!” Kyle begged, “We need to have a proper debate on gun control as soon as we can! We need to talk about who gets guns so we, the fucking kids, can be safe and alive in the future!”

 

Everyone stared at Kyle, silence in the whole area.

 

 

 

 

“Fuck that,” the same man yelled in the crowd.

 

“Hey everyone!” An outsider of the crowd shouted, “Lorde is still playing in the town square!”

 

And within an instant, everyone- including the police officers- ran over to the town square of South Park as fast as they can, leaving behind the mess and child.

 

“Goddamn it,” Kyle cursed to himself. Stan walked forward and patted Kyle’s back.

 

_**Clap. Clap. Clap.** _

 

Kyle looked up to see Tweek and Craig in front of them, where the crowd was standing earlier.

 

“Hey... Kyle.” Tweek stopped clapped and set his hands down. “You’re totally right about what we should do about gun control.”

 

“Thanks Tweek.” Kyle said.

 

“Remember Kyle,” Tweek told him, “We have really stupid parents and we live in a town that can barely creep up with change. Just give them a few decades.”

 

Kyle chuckled at Tweek’s words, knowing how right he is about the townsfolk.

 

The three kids but Cartman waved the gay couple good bye; the new kid smiling at Tweek and Craig.

 

“Welp,” Eric said, “I’m gonna take a shit.”

 

“I’m gonna go home and just think... I’ll see you guys around.” Stan and the new kid waved Kyle goodbye; they watched Kyle slowly walk down the sidewalk down to the street of houses.

 

The new kid was about to leave as well, but felt a hand on his shoulder. “Hey new kid!”

 

The new kid turned to see Stan walking towards him.

 

“Listen, I... I didn’t know if you realized this or not... but... I really like you too.” Stan’s face turned red as well, his hands placed behind him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

 

Stan dove in as well, dealing a peck on the lips on the new kid as well. The kiss ended short, as Stan turned around afterwards.

 

“I got to go. My dad is gonna worry about this.” And with that, Stan had left.

 

As Stan walked away towards the houses, the new kid silently slapped themselves.

 

* * *

 

The new kid knew what was going to happen. The new kid could of gone home. The new kid could of went to bed by now.

 

But no. They just had to do the right thing.

 

The new kid knocked on the door of the green house in front of them. They waited a moment for the door to open.

 

“Oh, hey new kid,” Gerald greeted him. “Kyle’s upstairs.”

 

The new kid waved the father as they entered the house. They walked upstairs and knocked on the first door in the hallway.

 

“...Go away.”

 

The new kid knocked on the door again.

 

“...I said go away mom.”

 

The new kid knocked again, but this time in a melodic rhythm.

 

“...” the door opened, revealing a tired red head with a green hat wearing blue Terrance and Philip pajamas. “Oh. Sorry new kid.”

 

The new kid entered Kyle’s bedroom, inspecting the bedroom around them.

 

“What do you want new kid?” Kyle said, his voice in a monotonic state.

 

The new kid brought their phone out, texting as fast as they can

 

 

> Kyle, what’s hurting you?

 

“Hurting me? What are you talking about?” Kyle jumped on his bed. “I’m just angry at the people in this town.”

 

The new kid joined Kyle on the bed, sitting beside the red head.

  

> Are you really angry at the townsfolk?

 

“I am very angry New Kid. These people are just ignorant, bigoted, stupid, racist, fascist-“ Kyle continued naming more adjectives to describe the people in the town.

 

> Kyle, these people were always like that. What finally ticked it off?

 

“What ticked it off?” Kyle repositioned his pillow so he could rest against it with the headboard behind it. “I guess it went off when Detective Harris appeared.”

 

> No Kyle, you were angry before that.

 

“Before that?” Kyle asked. “I wasn’t mad about it before?”

 

> Yes you were.

 

“No I wasn’t new kid. Maybe you were just imagining things.”

 

> Yes you were. And I know why.

 

 

 

 

> Stan told you.

 

Kyle read the text, silent to reply.

 

> Stan told you before I did about what happened earlier.

 

Kyle silently brought his legs up to his chest, wrapping them with his arms.

 

> I’m so sorry Kyle.

 

“You kissed him,” Kyle whimpered, his voice soft and in the verge of tears. “You guys danced around to Lorde and then he dipped you and then you two kissed.”

 

The new kid was shocked to actually hear Kyle’s voice so gentle. Usually, they would hear a stern and serious tone; a voice that echoed confidence and fought resistance. Now, in this very room, the voice was so fragile, just the humidity in the room could shatter the glass.

 

> Kyle… I was going to tell you.

 

“New kid… just go home. I can’t see you anymore.”

 

> Kyle…

 

Kyle didn’t even look at his phone. He ignored the chime that came with every text the new kid sent. “Please…” he looked at the new kid in their eyes, “I need you to leave.”

 

The new kid jumped off of Kyle’s bed and walked towards the doorway. They opened the door and left, never looking back at the crying boy in his bed.

 

* * *

 

Mysterion leapt off the building he was on and landed across to another roof.

 

Tonight was the first night he had ever done a parole ever since the new kid had brought him on their missions. Mysterion felt the cold air of South Park flowing through him as he jumped from rooftop to rooftop. But the cold air didn't stop him. No- it only motivated him to run faster. 

 

As Mysterion landed at the top of the branches of the trees in the park, he spotted a crying citizen sitting alone on the benches.

 

“Wait a minute,” Mysterion squinted his eyes, trying to figure out the kid crying at 1 am in the morning.

 

The kid sat alone on the bench, crying their emotions to the point they didn’t hear the four people around them.

 

“Hey kid,” the man spoke up. “You want some free candy?”

 

“We’ll give you a n-nice treat,” the other man said.

 

The two men in front of the kid stepped closer; the kid not even looking up at all.

 

“Hey kid,” the third man said from behind, “Are you like, deaf or something?”

 

“Maybe he can’t hear us?” The fourth man wondered.

 

“Then let’s grab them!” The second man said, reaching his arm out to grab the kids arm.

 

Mysterion watched as the four men surrounded the bench that the kid was on. He jumped off the tree branch, landing perfectly on his two feet.

 

“Hey stop that-“ Mysterion was blasted backwards by an invisible force, knocking him into the tree. When he looked up, his eyes burned like crazy, and the air smelled of sulfur.

 

He tried to breath, but the pungency in the air was restricting him to.

 

Mysterion waited until the gas cleared up enough to see what happened.

 

The new kid was the kid crying on the park bench. When the four men approached them, they released a time fart that froze time long enough for the new kid to knock everyone out.

 

The new kid continued to cry on the bench, leaving the four pedophiles on the ground unconscious.

 

“New kid?”

 

Mysterion ducked behind the tree that he’d just jumped off of.

 

“New kid?”

 

Mysterion saw through his peripheral vision that the person calling him out was Kyle.

 

“Hey, new kid?” Kyle turned to his left and saw that the new kid sat on the bench; his eyes directed towards the ground.

 

“What the hell is going on?” Mysterion thought.

 

Kyle walked over to the new kid. He still wore his pajamas, but he had his orange coat still on. He also carried an object in his hands.

 

“Hey new kid...” he was now only a few feet away. “You... you left our phone at my room.”

 

“They were in Kyle’s room?” Mysterion thought out loud.

 

“And... I read your messages.” Kyle placed the phone besides the new kid’s right thigh. “And... I’m sorry.”

 

The new kid looked up, staring at Kyle.

 

“You were right. I was jealous of Stan because he kissed you earlier today.”

 

“Wait Stan kissed the new kid?” Mysterion retorted.

 

“And I just took out my anger on you and Detective Harris. But I realized something earlier.”

 

The new kid moved over a bit, allowing Kyle to sit on the bench.

 

“I was basically an adult today because of you. I ignored you just like the adults ignored me earlier.” Kyle lifted his left hand, touching the new kid’s shoulder. “I’m sorry New Kid.”

 

Mysterion dashed over to the next tree, getting himself closer to the new kid and Kyle.

 

“You know... I learned something today.” Kyle said out loud, staring at the night sky. He retracted his arm, placing both hands on his lap. “The older people in this town- in America- they’re just jealous of us kids.”

 

“People today are just jealous of us kids and our ability to accept the new upcoming things in the world. Their ability to accept new things is really different and opposite of ours; and so we should really speak out about controversial topics as soon as we can.”

 

Kyle looked to his left; the new kid still sitting on the bench with tearing eyes.

 

“New kid... I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I...”

 

Mysterion leaned closer, trying to ease drop in.

 

“I love you new kid. I want to be with you for as long as I can.”

 

Mysterion turned around and leaned against the thick bark of the tree he hid behind. He pushed his hood lower, hiding his tearing blue eyes in the shadows.

 

The new kid finally looked up from staring at the blacktop. Kyle could see the red in their tearing eyes; streams of tears running down the cheek. Kyle slid the phone across the bench, the new kid picking it up and texting on it immediately.

 

> Kyle... I appreciate your words of love...

 

 

 

 

> But

 

Kyle’s heart froze in place when he saw the word.

 

> I can’t accept your love yet. Kyle, I barely know who I am as of now. Remember? I’m trying to regain my memories.

 

Kyle remembered that night. He remembered that the new kid wanted to wait for their memories to come back first.

 

> Please Kyle. Please understand that I just want to remain friends for now.

 

Kyle’s eyes saw the “for now,” his mind realizing how those two words create a possibility.

  

> Kyle, I like you too. But understand that I want myself to feel whole and complete before I invest myself into something as big as this.

 

Kyle sighed, setting his phone down on the bench. “New kid? I’m sorry I asked you again.”

 

> Don’t be. You’re just being honest and truthful.

 

“It’s just that...” Kyle gripped the phone in his hand tighter, “I just don’t want to feel alone... or rejected again.”

 

The new kid turned their head towards Kyle, smiling through despite their sad expression.

 

Mysterion turned around and watched as the new kid and Kyle looked at each other. The light from the lamp posts shined down on the two kids, illuminating them from the darkness of night.

 

Both Kyle and the new kid were still on the park bench, their faces staring at each other’s. The new kid raised their hand, cupping Kyle’s soft cheek with it; caressing its smooth beauty. Mysterion could see that the action made Kyle self conscious, as seen by the flush of red on Kyle’s cheeks. He could see Kyle trying to turn away, but he was unable to when his eyes connected with the new kid’s.

 

Kyle had long admired the new kid’s silent but loud personality. Their ability to create friendships easily in a town of hatred and negativity had inspired Kyle to pursue being a hero and ally. Them opening the LGBT Center to help those in need of LGBT assistance inspired Kyle to join them. But something was shining out of the new kid that Kyle never saw before. Sitting close to them, Kyle couldn’t help but notice how the new kid’s eyes shined with the lamp post. The black pearls in their eyes glistened in the light, revealing the inner soul inside.

 

The new kid’s expression was intense, but at the same time, confident. Despite the dried tears resting on their cheeks, their eyes shined like fire in the night.

 

As the new kid pulled Kyle’s chin close to theirs, Kyle closed his eyes, preparing for the next best moment of his life. The new kid pulled Kyle to them, covering his readied lips with their own in a slow manner.

 

The new kid’s mouth was warm inside, the caress of their lips softer than he could have imagined. They tasted tentatively with their own tongue; Kyle opened his mouth with a small moan.

 

Mysterion stood up from his spot, tired to hear the rest of the story. He walked away on the pavement, careful enough to avoid the small patches of snow in the way.

 

The new kid pushed away slowly, allowing Kyle to realize that the kiss was ending. They leaned right and extended both of their arms to wrap around the red head.

 

 

 

 

 

“Kyle…”

 

 

 

 

 

“You’re never alone.”

 

* * *

 

“So you’re telling me he doesn’t talk?” Damien asked Kenny.

 

“Yeah. He just texts everyone,” Kenny stated, watching his step around the cave.

 

The three beings were finally at the double doors of Satan’s Castle. After walking though the cave tunnels and coming into Hell, they finally arrived at the top of the hill.

 

“You guys ready to see Satan?” Damien asked.

 

“Don’t worry new kid,” Kenny assured, “Satan’s not that bad.”

 

The double doors opened slowly, a loud squeak from the hinges echoed around them as the dual doors opened the path.

 

“Who dares disturb the Prince of Hell?” the loud deep voice echoed through the door way.

 

“Father,” Damien said, walking in casually, “I brought the boy you wanted.”

 

“For the last time Damien,” the voice echoed, “They don’t identify as a boy.”

 

The new kid and Kenny walked in and saw Satan sitting at his throne. The red being stood in front of a window still, over looking the view of Hell.

 

“Hey Satan,” Kenny waved.

 

“Oh, hey Kenny,” Satan greeted nicely. “And may I ask what pronouns and nickname you use?”

 

The new kid was silent.

 

“Oh,” Kenny conjured up, “They use they them and we just call him the new kid.”

 

“Really?” Satan asked. “No cool nicknames like Dovahkiin or anything?”

 

The new kid nodded no.

 

“Really?” Satan wondered, “Wow. Even the author is this shitty to come up with a name for you.”

 

Kenny shrugged his shoulders, “It’s just the way it goes I guess.”

 

“Very well.” Satan stood with firm posture as he faced directly with the new kid. “New kid. I called you into hell because I need help dealing with an upcoming problem.”

 

The new kid stared blankly at Satan.

 

“There are evil beings from Hell upraising into Earth once again,” Satan told him, “Manbearpig was resurrected about a few weeks ago when we imprisoned the beast into an eternal lifetime of darkness. The Crab people developed divine powers of Ugandan Knuckles when we stripped the King of Crab People of their broadband.”

 

“We need your help to figure out where they’re coming from. We need your help new kid to see who is tampering with the balance between life and death.”

 

The new kid stared blankly at Satan.

 

“Will you do it, new kid?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact. This chapter is the most rushed chapter I've written for this series, and yet it has 10k words in it. Wows.
> 
> Anyways, I changed the story in the chapter four times, because I really wanted to incorporate Randy losing the Grammy (I thought Lorde would really win I really enjoyed Melodrama) and I wanted to incorporate something about the school shootings. Matt and Trey will always (in one way or another) talk about about serious issues in the world or in America. And I thought with this series, I would try to poke fun at it, and at the same time, release a message that I honestly think is very important. If you didn't catch it, I advocate for gun control because seriously we have so many fucking school shootings (well, I think only five of them happened during school hours, but anyways). But honestly, don't take my opinion as biased because I originated from California or from whatever political standpoint. Take the opinion of the fucking victims and kids from the schools that experienced shootings. Take the opinion from the fucking families of those who are victimized or involved with the schools. Honestly, people and the senators keep pushing the gun control topic away, thinking that it's something that we'll never conclude because we're fucking America and it's almost a 50/50 split. Seriously, we need to have this discussion now, and we need it soon. 
> 
> Okay I'm done ranting about the school shootings. Sorry if I became too politically involved or whatnot, I'm just trying to write a story for y'all to enjoy. 
> 
> AND BY THE WAY CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE A HAREM? I'M LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE WHILST REWRITING THIS THE FOURTH TIME I REALIZED THAT THIS IS HIGH KEY A FUCKING HAREM AND THAT I SHOULD EXPLOIT IT!
> 
>  
> 
> *The kissing scenes were all written as a parody of a scene in a story. If you can actually find where it came from, I will send you a bouquet of flowers. I'm serious. I'll spend $30-$40 on a bouquet of flowers (roses too) on you- and I'll pay for shipping too. Now find it. No hints, just the story.* *you'll never find it -insert evil devil smiley face-
> 
>  
> 
> Okay I'm done with this. I'm tired and I'm sleep deprived. Enjoy your Friday, or whatever day it is. And once again, thanks for reading guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
> 
> -Negira.


	11. Delay #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, part 2 of the series I was gonna publish.
> 
> By the way, I haven't come up with a title yet for this series. Go ahead and leave suggestions. I'm all ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot has happened this week for me. For one, I had an allergic reaction to the McDonald's Szechuan sauce. I'm okay and everything, but I'm still dealing with school and work crap. Secondly, this chapter is literally all over the place. For one thing, I realized the content inside for the ninth episode (for what I have planned) isn't even long enough. It's barely 6000 words and my goals are always 7000. So now I'm kinda replanning and rewriting parts. 
> 
> So here are some schedule changes, unfortunately. 
> 
> Ninth episode will go out this friday, March 2nd.
> 
> Tenth episode will come out between the 9th and the 13th. 
> 
> I'm so sorry for these changes, I'm currently dealing with a lot. My finals are soon and so are my other plans to go outside the country again. 
> 
> MY sincerest apologies to those that want to read the LGBT Season of South Park. I hope that this can compromise the feeling for now.
> 
> Thank you guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Halfway through the movie, there were two knocks at Craig’s door. Craig paused the movie and moved the empty food plate to the desk. Tweek got up and stood a safe distance away as Craig went to the door.

 

Craig opened the door slowly, seeing the familiar brunette in his bomber jacket. 

 

“Hey dude!” Clyde said, “How you’ve been?”

 

“How have you been,” Tweek corrected.

 

“How have you been.” Craig corrected, realizing that no one can hear Tweek. “I’m okay.”

 

“Sweet.” Token said, standing behind Clyde. “Can we come in? We got something to show you!”

 

Craig stepped to the side to allow Clyde and Token inside the room. The two friends immediately sat at the bedside, revealing that they brought a cardboard box full of items,

 

Tweek took this time to see how much Token and Clyde changed. Token and Clyde were still wearing their normal outfits. Tweek could see that Token was still being weary of his death, and became a bit more quiet. Clyde, however, was full of energy, just like he was before. It might of been that Clyde either gotten over Tweek, or he was really trying his hardest not to cry.

 

“So what the hell do you two want?” Craig asked.

 

“We got some stuff for you.” Clyde opened the box to revealed a small stack of papers. “This is homework for the days you missed.”

 

“Auggg.” Craig said, receiving the stack and throwing it to the side.

 

“Here is a giant pillow,” Token pulled out a memory foam pillow practically the size of bum and placed it on the bedside.

 

“Here’s a card everyone pitched in to sign.” Clyde handed him a card.

 

“And here’s another card.” Token handed him a second card, this one appearing to be an invite. “It’s an invitation for Wonder Tweek’s funeral.”

 

“We’re hosting a funeral for Wonder Tweek?” Craig asked. He could hear Tweek in the background tearing up.

 

“Timmy and everyone else wanted to do something as a sign off.” Token said. “They also wanted to ask about your ultimate, because it involved Tweek.”

 

Craig placed the two cards on his desk. He knew Tweek wanted to look at them. “Okay. Anything else.”

 

“Craig,” Clyde injected, “How... how do you live with Tweek gone?” Everyone, including Tweek, was shaken by the question. “You know, because you were in love with him and everything.”

 

Tweek looked at Craig to see his response. He didn’t notice it, but he was trembling at what Craig was going to say next.

 

“Clyde. I’m still in love with him.”

 

Tweek’s jaw dropped at his answer.

 

“Even though he isn’t with us now, it doesn’t mean that I can’t still love him.” Craig told him, “Plus, it’s not like we won’t see him again.”

 

Both Clyde and Token were a bit shaken at the answer. “Craig,” Token wanted to ask, “You’ve seem to be taking this really easily. Aren’t you like... scarred for life? You literally were next to him when he died.”

 

Craig took a minute to rethink his thoughts before answering, “It took until his funeral to get over that.” Craig then walked over to his desk, where Tweek was standing next too, and placed his hand on the table. Tweek followed behind him and placed his hand over his.

 

Craig felt the warmth on his hand, and answered, “And I think I’ll get over everything else eventually. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Token asked, “So, when do you think you’ll return to school?”

 

“PC Principal gave me the rest of the week off so Monday?”

 

“Wonder Tweek’s funeral is on the 25th,” Token told him, “So we’ll see you then.”

 

The two kids left Craig’s house empty handed.

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

“So... how are we sleeping tonight?”

 

Tweek was the one to ask as Craig went to the bathroom. The realization hit him when the clock struck a quarter to midnight.

 

“We could... sleep on the bed together?” Craig said like this was not a problem at all.

 

“Stupid Craig,” he lightly punched Craig’s arm. “Are you trying to get into my pants?”

 

“Well, can you even take off your pants?” Craig asked.

 

Tweek actually wondered if he could actually change his clothes. Ever since he entered hell, Tweek wore the same clothes from that time until he exited hell. Hell, he was still wearing the same clothes. “Can I even wear different clothes?”

 

“Try taking your shirt off.” Craig suggested. Tweek did as he was told. He lifted the bottoms of his shirt up, revealing to Craig his smooth pale stomach and innie belly button.

 

“Craig, can you help?” Tweek asked whilst pulling the shirt up. He forgotten that he had wings.

 

“Put the shirt back down and try pulling your arms through the sleeves first.”

 

Tweek was able to pull both arms in through the sleeve holes, but still struggled to get his wings through. The whole time, Craig was laughing.

 

“What’s so funny asshole?”

 

Craig pointed, “I can’t believe you forgot that you’re wearing a dress shirt that’s a button up.”

 

Tweek blushed. “Shut the fuck up.” Tweek got both arms through the sleeves again before removing the buttons on his shirt. The dress shirt finally came off after his wings went through the two identical rips in the back.

 

Craig didn’t realize how Hell really affects a person. Tweek had several prints on his chest. There was an inverted cross on his heart, and a small chain of pentagrams going around his right shoulder and neck.

 

“Oh, umm.” Tweek realized that he was now showing his tattoos... slash prints. “This inverted cross means I left Hell and entered Earth again.” He pointed to the chain, “And this... is my link with you.”

 

Craig decided at that moment he wanted a tattoo.

 

“No!” Tweek yelled, “You are not getting a tattoo!”

 

“But you get one!” Craig whined.

 

“These are magical tattoos! I didn’t even put them on me myself! They magically appear when I left Hell!”

 

Craig was still pouting, “I still want a tattoo anyways.”

 

Tweek sighed, “Okay, umm. Craig, do you have a shirt I can... keep and wear?”

 

Craig wondered why he phrased his question like that, but the thought that he needed to rip holes in the back for his wings was definitely a possibility. “Okay. Let me find an old shirt to experiment.”

 

Craig dug through his closet and found a wife beater. “Think your wings could go through this?”

 

“This can work. What about something with sleeves?” Tweek wore the wife beater and looked at himself in the mirror. His nipples were barely covered by how low the wife beater hung, and his tattoos stood out more because of it. “Can I try something else?”

 

“I have a simple white t-shirt from Walmart.” Craig tossed him the shirt and pointed to the desk for scissors. Tweek cut two holes in the back big enough for his two wings (they were the score of a sheet of paper). After doing some cuts, Tweek was able to comfortably wear a white t-shirt.

 

“Nice the real test.” Tweek focused, clenching his fists and closing his eyes.

 

From Craig’s point of view, Tweek completely disappeared. “Tweek?” He asked out loud, “Where did you go?”

 

Tweek appeared right back in front of him, smiling, “I can wear a different shirt!” Tweek cheered.

 

“So... umm... do you need to shower?” Craig asked.

 

Damn it. “I should probably shower huh?” Tweek tried to smell himself, but failed to do so. He was still wearing Craig’s shirt... a shirt that smelled like Craig...

 

And man did it smell amazing.

 

“Umm, Tweek? What are you doing?” Craig asked.

 

Tweek blushes and turned around, “I was ... umm... trying to smell myself.” And then the idea clicked, “and then I smelt something horrible. It was your shirt.”

 

“Fuck you.” Craig flipped him off.

 

Nailed it.

 

“So umm.... got any pants? And underwear?” Tweek awkwardly asked.

 

“Okay,” Craig walked over to where Tweek was standing, “how the Fuck does your tail work?”

 

Tweek decided the simplest thing to do was to turn around and to take his pants off. He undid his jeans and let them fall loose to the ground. “I can’t wear belts, so I either let my tail go through the waist or make a hole in my pants.”

 

And he wasn’t kidding. His black boxer briefs had a small hole near the waistline for his tail to come out.

 

Tweek then realized what he had done. Turning around, he noticed how Craig was just staring at him... at his ass.

 

“You like what you see?” Tweek asked.

 

“Very.” Craig turned away, trying to hide his blush. “I mean, I’ll look for something.”

 

Tweek watched as Craig tried to nonchalantly look for a pair of underwear, along with pants, for Tweek to wear and to make a hole in. The problem was, Craig wore mostly jeans that were too long for Tweek.

 

He then found an old pair with a looser waist line and shorter pant sleeves. “Try this.” He handed the black pair of pants to Tweek, along with a random pair of boxers.

 

Tweek blushed, “Are you... gonna turn around?”

 

Craig blushed back, “I’ll look for some pajamas for you.” He went back to his closet and found a pair after he heard the safe sound of a fly going up.

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

Craig took the right side as Tweek took the left. Tweek’s face was looking at him, so that his wings could drape out of the bed. Thank god he was a side sleeper. Craig was a person who normally slept on his back, so he was facing the ceiling as Tweek laid next to him.

 

“Hey, Craig.” Tweek whispered, “Remember what you said earlier?”

 

“Earlier?” Craig asked, “What was it?”

 

“You wanted to be spooned.” Tweek smiles, “I’m unfortunately going to be the outside one.”

 

“Then that’s a jet pack,” Craig answered back. Tweek laughed at his answer, “A jet pack? But I have wings. Does that make me a bird?”

 

“You’re a fucking bat,” Craig shot back.

 

The two of them laughed it off. The time was now almost one am, and Craig was unfortunately becoming a bit tired.

 

“What should we do tomorrow?” Tweek asked, “Mister I don’t have school until Monday.”

 

“Do you want to go on the Ferris Wheel?” Craig asked.

 

Tweek blinked, “You mean.. go to Denver for an amusement park?”

 

“Why not? No one would be there and that just means we pay admission for one ticket.”

 

Tweek smiles and realized how much money they can save. “I’m down.”

 

Craig smiled, and started shifting towards the middle.

 

“What are you doing?” Tweek asked.

 

“I want to be spooned.” Craig said in a monotone.

 

Tweek smiles and laughed as he moved to Craig’s back. He didn’t even realize this, but his arms were already draping themselves around Craig. His legs were intertwined with Craig’s like a jigsaw puzzle. Even his wings fanned in so they would partially touch his shoulders.

 

“Good night, Tweek.”

 

“Good night Craig.”

 

“I love you.”

 

Tweek smiled, and whispered, “I love you too.”

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

The next day, Tweek and Craig bussed to Denver to the amusement park there. It took them several bus switches, and an hour of bussing in total to make it to the amusement park.

 

And the whole time, Craig has to reserve the seat next to him for Tweek. With Tweek being invisible but still having a physical construct, Tweek sat next to him the whole time, keeping Craig in conversation the whole time. If anyone saw Craig, they might of thought Craig was listening to music or calling someone with his earphones, when really Tweek was next to him.

 

“Okay.” Craig paid the ticket fare for a single and Tweek snuck through the metal detector by walking behind an older gentleman. The alarm triggered, so the officers there pulled the gentleman over while Tweek slipped over to Craig.

 

“What’s should we do first?” Craig asked.

 

“Can we ride the Ferris Wheel?” Tweek asked.

 

And the next he knew, he and Tweek were sitting next to each other in their own cart on the Ferris Wheel.

 

“Isn’t the view lovely Craig?” Tweek asked. Craig could recall this conversation months ago. Back then, Tweek was panicking over the Korean Missile Crisis, and Craig was calming him down.

 

And now, with Tweek being next to him, they were technically on their first date.

 

“I remember asking you that before.” Craig said. Tweek leaned his head over, his frizzy hair touching Craig’s neck and under chin.

 

Tweek asked, “Seeing this view from the top of a Ferris Wheel, do you ever think we can make it to the moon?”

 

“The moon?” Craig asked.

 

“Didn’t you want to be an astronaut?” Tweek asked, “Do you think you’ll ever see the Earth in the atmosphere?”

 

“Tweek,” Craig explained, “I would give up seeing the view if you weren’t there with me.”

 

Tweek teared up, gripping Craig’s arm. “That’s... that was really nice of you.”

 

Craig bent his head forward enough to do a dab kiss on Tweek’s chin. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

With that, the two went off the Ferris Wheel once it went down. The two were walking towards the roller coaster, which was on the other side of the park, when they encounters a closed off area.

 

“Remember that day Tweek?” Craig said, “Distracted driving was big and it managed to kill 14 people here.”

 

“How could I not forget?” Tweek remembered, “We had our first big fight here.”

 

Craig’s smile turned into a frown, “I remember hating myself back then for not being able to do anything.”

 

The two continued walking towards the coaster. Craig had both hands in his pockets while walking. That was, Tweek could hold his arm while they were walking, and no one could see Craig being weird by himself.

 

“Psst,” Tweek alerted him, “I think we have sixth graders following us.”

 

Craig wanted to turn around, but he knew that would draw attention, or worse, initiate the attack. “Can you see how many are there?”

 

Tweek let go and ran towards the group to survey the persecutors. After running back and catching up with Craig, Tweek gave out, “There were four. One of them is the leader.”

 

“Shit:” Craig and Tweek managed to enter the building for the line of the roller coaster. “They’re probably waiting for us at the exit then.”

 

“Craig...” Tweek gripped his hand, “I haven’t been honest with you.”

 

“Tweek, what are you talking about?” Craig whispered as he dug out his headphones. He tapped a few buttons on his phone and simulated a fake phone call.

 

“Craig, your arm.” Tweek pointed at it, “I can give you some of my energy if you’re ever in danger.”

 

“What does that mean?” Craig talked normally. The people in front of him didn’t care what they were saying.

 

Tweek leaned in and started to whisper every little secret that came with the arm.

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

Craig was waiting at the exit of the roller coaster with Tweek. On the ride, he was able to get a single seat by himself, but with Tweek in it. After riding, the two decided it would be best if he was waiting at the exit, rather than going else where.

 

“Hey!” Some yelled, “It’s the tenthi!”

 

Within seconds, Craig saw that there were four twelfth graders, just like Tweek said.

 

“Please,” Craig said in his normal, mono tonic voice, “Leave me alone.”

 

“Let’s show this tenthie what a nipple twister is!” The leader, the twelfth grader with a green shirt of his narcissistic face, jumped forward and grabbed his arm.

 

“Please, stop,” Craig nonchalantly yelled. He stood still while the leader was tugging his left arm.

 

“Help me with this tenthie you dipshits!”

 

The other three boys moved forward and grabbed Craig before tugging him to a less public area. They moved Craig to the back of a restaurant.

 

“Is this the little gay tenthie that has a dead boyfriend?” One of the twelfth graders asked.

 

“Oh yeah!” The leader yelled in realization. “This one is a gay tenthie!”

 

Craig was so done with their done bull shit.

 

One twelfth grader ran forward, ready to punch Craig, “let me at him!”

 

“Let’s show this little gay tenthie what twelfth graders are made of!” The leader shouted, initiating the battle.

 

“Craig,” Tweek told him, “Remember, wait for one of them to hit you.”

 

Craig nodded and stood still as the punchy twelfth grader ran forward with his fists. Craig was able to dodge his lame punches by ducking and moving side to side.

 

“Get back here, tenthie!” Another Twelfth grader ran forward, this time holding a water ballon. Craig already knew that there was no water in that.

 

Craig managed to back himself towards a stone wall, with twos twelfth graders in front of him. Time to test out his arm.

 

Craig grabbed a nearby trashcan and used his right arm to push it towards one twelfth grader. He could feel energy coursing through his arm as the trash can instantly flew forward, hitting the twelfth grader holding the water balloon straight in the chest.

 

“What the-“

 

Craig was able to to find another empty trash can and threw it with incredible force. The trash can hit the twelfth grader’s face and knocked him backwards. Boy twelfth graders were unconscious, if not, dead.

 

“What the fuck?” The last twelth grader yelled.

 

“Tweek,” Craig whispered, “What do I do?”

 

Using their invisibility, Tweek was able to sneak behind the last twelfth grader and pushed him forward. The twelfth grader staggered forward, trying not to fall over on the ground.

 

“Craig!” Tweek called, “Punch him!”

 

Craig readied his fist. Clenching his right hand into a ball, Craig could feel his body sending some sort of energy into his arm, as if it was concentrating all of it into his knuckles.

 

“Mega fist puncharu!” Craig yelled as his fist connected with the sixth grader’s stomach.

 

The twelfth grader flew backwards, flying several feet in the air and landing a few seconds after.

 

“G-g-get away from me!” The sixth grader clenched his stomach as he stood up. They needed both hands around his tummy before he could actually stand up.

 

“That. Was. Crazy.” Craig looked at his boyfriend Tweek, next to him. “Wanna go home?”

 

The two heard sirens over their heads. “I think I know a way out.”

 

— — — — — — — — — —

 

After taking several buses for about two hours, Craig and Tweek were back in South Park. By the time they were back, everyone had just gotten out of school. Craig and Tweek could see people from their school at various locations as their final bus stopped at the bus stop.

 

Tweek exited the bus first, skipping the final step and landing firmly on both feet at the pavement. Craig smiled as he got off, seeing Tweek happy that they got off that horrible death machine.

 

“Hey Craig!” Clyde walked over to him. He was on his way home and saw Craig walking from the opposite direction. “Where did you go?”

 

“To the amusement park in Denver.” Craig responded with his usual voice.

 

“Lucky!” Clyde pouted, which made Tweek laugh a bit.

 

Craig didn’t realize it, but Clyde wasn’t alone. “Hey new kid.”

 

The new kid stood there and simply stared forward.

 

“I’ll see you guys around.” And with that, Clyde left Craig with the new kid, who just kept staring at him.

 

“What are you staring at?” Craig decided to bluntly ask.

 

The new kid pointed to Tweek, who was standing to his right.

 

Tweek thought that maybe the new kid was pointing at something else, so he moved out of the way.

 

Both Craig and Tweek watched as the new kid guided his finger to follow Tweek’s every direction. If Tweek went to Craig’s left, the new kid would adjust his arm to go to Craig’s left. If Tweek went somewhere like hiding behind the tree, the new kid pointed at the tree.

 

“You see Tweek, don’t you?” Craig asked.

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“Fuck.” Craig stomped the ground, irritated that the new kid discovered his secret. “You can’t tell anyone you got that!”

 

The new kid stood still, not making any expression changes.

 

“Gah! Craig!” Tweek cries, “What the fuck do we do? Can you even hear me?”

 

The new kid nodded.

 

“Shit.” Tweek grabbed his hair and cursed, “Shit shit shit!”

 

“Chill out dude.” Craig patted Tweek’s back and looked at the new kid, “You’re not gonna tell anyone, right?”

 

The new kid pointed at his mouth.

 

“That’s right... you don’t talk.” Craig sighed in relief, “I think our secret is safe Tweek.”

 

“Tweek! Is that you!” A muffled voice called in the distance.

 

“Oh Jesus Fucking Christ-“

 

Craig was tackled- not to the ground, but used as a hitting pad- by Kenny. “Dude,” Kenny whispered, “Why is Tweek here I thought he died and wait is he a devil with the horns and the wings and the tail and-“

 

Normally, Kenny always sounded muffled due to the cold weather. His parka would always cover his mouth, this resulting in his muffled voice. But when Kenny whispered, he could clearly be understood. “Shut up!” Craig pushed him off, “Talk else where!” He told Kenny in a bush voice.

 

“Dude,” Stan and Kyle and Eric approached Craig, “Did Kenny just say Tweek?”

 

“I don’t know,” Craig said in his monotone voice, “I’m going home.” And with that, he turned around and started walking to the direction of his house with Tweek slowly following him.

 

“Craig!” Kyle called. “Are you alright dude?”

 

Craig stopped and turned around. “I’m fine Kyle. Nothing is wrong with me.”

 

“I’m just worried about you... because you know...” Kyle became silent after that. Craig didnt exactly know what Kyle was referring to, but he assumed it was Tweek.

 

“I’m fine Kyle. I’m as joyous as ever,” Craig said in his monotone voice. He then marched straight home, dragging the new kid with him.

 

“Dude,” Stan told the guys, “Craig is acting weird.”

 

“I know right?” Kyle agreed, “I think Craig is still sad about Tweek.”

 

Eric made a face and sighed, “Bleh! I thought he was over Tweek by now.”

 

“CARTMAN!” Kyle yelled, “Craig was in love with Tweek! Remember the funeral?”

 

“Craig was acting weird after the funeral,” Stan reconsidered. “He couldn’t even enter the church after he had that episode.”

 

“The Tweaks even rushed Craig to Hell’s Pass,” Kyle added in, “And they thought he was just nauseous because he didn’t eat for like three days.”

 

“Wait, he didn’t eat at all?” Stan asked, “No wonder he’s so skinny.”

 

Cartman scuffed, “Can we like go home now? Grand Theft Auto V isn’t gonna play itself.”

 

The four of them started to walk the direction of all of their houses, but Kenny stopped. “I’m gonna check on Craig then.”

 

“Okay dude.” Kyle said, sending the orange hoodie approval. “Later.”

 

Kenny waved off the three and started following Craig.

 

The three of them turned and started to walk to their houses, completely unaware that Tweek was listening behind that tree the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to add this in: I didn't edit any of this yet so expect grammatical errors and stuff. Also, everyone in this are teenagers, so like the scene with the "twelfth graders" are supposed to be the sixth graders. My apologies if you didn't catch that. 
> 
> Also, yes this part is pretty short. I haven't written past this part yet before I discontinued writing this story, so sorry for the sudden cut off.
> 
> But see y'all this friday for Episode 9.
> 
> -Negira
> 
>  
> 
> Btw tumblr is the best place for yall to talk to me. My blog, Negira1239, is an ask blog so go ahead and ask questions. I'll even give spoilers or post tiny parts online if y'all like.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The LGBT Center is now being accused of drug trafficking. As the kids deal with this, they also deal with their own personal problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I sincerely apologize for my delays on this series. Seriously, life is getting hard and holy crap do I need to get a grip on it. 
> 
> Secondly, I wanted to just say that this chapter does seeem shorter because this chapter is shorter. It’s 7,500 words, and I’m honestly quite sad because I couldn’t add more to it. If I did, it would take away from the last episode. And speaking of, the season finale is soon, and I’m very excited and sad at the same time. The end of this season is coming, and I’d like to thank you all for reading. 
> 
> I’d like to personally thank two people who commented on this series- cascadedEquilibrium (even though they sort of stopped mid-season) and Violet911. Thank you two so so much for leaving stuff in the comments. I always look forward to a conversation. After all, it’s a lot better to have conversations that connect rather than pass time.
> 
> And finally, I’d like to announce that starting soon, I will be releasing short stories my Tumblr (Negira1239). These stories are canon to this AU/Season, because these are what I had to cut out (they didn’t make it). Also, they wouldn’t of fit in season 2... sooo... 
> 
> Okay without further ado, thank you guys, gals, and non-binary pals!
> 
> -Negira

* * *

The New Kid squatted on the bar stool they were standing on and aimed their butt at the tied up Eric below.

 

Kenny stood with both of his arms crossed in the distance, observing the New kid fart at Eric’s face.

 

Eric coughed violently, wheezing through the sulfuric gas. “I told you- *cough* I don’t know anything!”

 

The New kid grabbed the bowl of beef vindaloop in front of him and ate a few spoonfuls.

 

“Eric,” Kenny yelled, “All you need to do is explain how you remember that I can die.”

 

“I don’t know!” Eric yelled, “I just remember it!”

 

Kenny observed Eric’s facial features; he could see fear and desperation.

 

But he could also see a smirk on Eric’s face.

 

“Get him new kid.”

 

The New Kid charged up the gas inside of them and aimed their butt at Eric.

 

The fart erupted violently from the New Kid- so much so that Eric was blown over; knocking him sideways on the ground.

 

“Ack! Goddamn it!” Eric yelled as his face was on the floor. The new kid climbed off the bar stool, meeting Kenny at the floor.

 

“We should pick up the fat ass,” Kenny said, looking down.

 

“You guys should fucking help me up you piece of shit-“

 

The new kid farted once more into Eric’s face. This time, it caused Eric to knock out.

 

“I think you went a bit too far,” Kenny told them. Knowing the new kid, Kenny pulled out his phone.

 

> I need to go soon. We’ll just finished this tomorrow.

 

“Okay then,” Kenny walked over towards the unconscious Eric Cartman on the floor and pulled on him, “Okay New Kid- goddamn Eric is heavy- you go on ahead. I’ll finish up here.”

 

The new kid gave a thumbs up and turned towards the exit door.

 

“Hey! New kid.”

 

The new kid turned around from where they stood; facing the boy in the orange parka.

 

“Do I still have a chance?” Kenny asked. “You and Kyle went kind of ham...”

 

The new kid hid their blush by turning the other way. They exited the U-Stor-It storage container and left the premises, leaving Kenny only one text.

 

> To be determined...

 

* * *

 

The next day, inside the school, the new kid was loading text books inside their backpack, talking to Kyle about their upcoming assignment- LGBT assignment.

 

“Michael?” Kyle asked, “the goth kid?”

 

The new kid handed him the manilla folder from their backpack.

 

“It says here that he’s-“

 

“New Kid!”

 

The new kid slammed their locker door shut; Kyle dropping and almost scattering the papers on the floor. They both turned to see an angry Wendy stomping down the hallway.

 

“New kid!” Wendy yelled across the hallway, gripping her phone in her hand, “New kid get over here!” They could even see Stan trailing along behind her.

 

“Uh-oh!” a voice sarcastically yelled in the background. “The new kid is in trouble…”

 

The new kid turned around and saw Eric Cartman hiding behind Butters.

 

“New kid!” Wendy was now in front of the new kid, “Can you explain why you are kissing my boyfriend?” She waved her phone in front of the new kid.

 

The new kid looked closer, staring at the tiny phone screen in front of them. The screen displayed a horizontal video of the new kid and Stan dancing back stage during the Lorde concert.

 

“So why were you dancing with my boyfriend backstage during the Lorde concert?” Wendy asked, her voice near the point of yelling. “And why did you kiss him?”

 

Nearly every kid in school was now watching over the new kid and Wendy; all the kids stared down the hall or down stairs to see the two friends argue.

 

The new kid whipped out their phone, texting to Wendy their response.

 

> Wendy, we were just having fun and it got out of hand.

 

“Ummm of course it got out of hand!” Wendy yelled back.

 

“Wendy don’t yell,” Stan tried to join in, “It’s my fault and I-“

 

“Shut up Stan!” Wendy turned to her boyfriend behind her, “You’re not out of this you know!”

 

Stan remained silent as Wendy returned to the argument in front of her. “As I was saying, New kid what the hell!?!?”

 

> I’m sorry Wendy. I didn’t know Stan liked me at all!

 

“Bullshit! Stan totally likes you!” Wendy looked at Stan, getting more angry, “Isn’t that right Stan?”

 

Stan remained silent, looking down and not up the whole time.

 

“And Kyle!” Wendy directed, “I thought you and the new kid were together!”

 

“What?” Kyle spoke up, “No! The new kid and I aren’t dating?”

 

“Then what’s this?” Wendy asked, holding her phone to Kyle. Kyle tapped on the screen, which displayed a horizontal video of the park scene that the two kids had.

 

“Who the hell is recording these things?” Kyle asked.

 

“That doesn’t matter!” Wendy yelled, “New kid! We’re going to settle this!”

 

All the kids started o’ing, all of them knew what Wendy was going to say.

 

“I’m gonna fuck you up!” Wendy yelled, “Today, after school!”

 

The kids surrounding the arguing children cheered, all chattering to their nearby peers about who was going to win.

 

> Wendy, fighting won’t resolve anything.

 

“Yeah Wendy,” Kyle backed up, “War has never stopped anything.”

 

“Shut up Kyle,” Wendy told him, “Did the new kid tell you that they have the hots for Stan?”

 

“New kid…” Kyle looked at the new kid to his left. “Is that true?”

 

The new kid started typing on their phone with both hands this time.

 

> Kyle- Kyle don’t listen to Wendy. I like all of you equally.

 

> Wendy- Wendy, fighting me will not resolve anything.

 

Wendy stepped closer to the new kid, “New Kid, I expect to see you at the playground after school.”

 

> Wendy I’m not fighting you! The only thing I’m doing is apologizing for what I did with Stan.

 

“So you admit that you like Stan, huh?” Wendy asked, her face coming closer to the new kid.

 

“Wendy stop it,” Stan said, gripping Wendy’s shoulder. “Yelling at the new kid and fighting them won’t do anything!”

 

“You know what Stan?” Wendy turned to the boy behind her, staring at him with her hazel colored eyes, “I’m done. We’re done. Just- leave me alone.”

 

Wendy pushed Stan to the side as she walked into the crowd.

 

“Wendy!” Stan yelled, chasing after her

 

“Are you okay new kid?” Kyle asked. The new kid hadn’t moved since Wendy ran off. They stood still, continuously looking down the hallway. In the distance, Stan had collapsed along the side of the hallway, crying himself at his locker.

 

> I’m fine Kyle.

 

* * *

 

 

After school, all of the kids were in the LGBT Center. The new kid and Kyle sat inside the office while Tweek, Craig, and Wendy sat in the lobby.

 

“Ach- Wendy!” Tweek called, “Are you okay?”

 

Wendy had her laptop out, loudly typing on the keys. Each finger essentially stabbed the keyboard as she was completing the excel spreadsheet.

 

“No I’m not okay Tweek,” she said, her voice very loud and clear, “and no I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Tweek yelped as he hid himself behind Craig’s back.

 

“Wendy,” Craig said, filing out a sheet of paper on a clipboard, “You can be pissed at the new kid, not us.”

 

Wendy sighed, “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just- UGHHH!” She lifted her hands, displaying how badly she wanted to rip something in half.

 

At the door of the LGBT Center, there were several hard knocks on the glass.

 

“Who could that be?” Wendy asked, curious as she looked over at the door. Behind the door were several adults that she had never seen before. She set the laptop aside and walked over towards the entrance.

 

The adults let themselves in, looking around the lobby at its decorations. The group consisted of two men and women.

 

“Is this the South Park LGBT Center?” The man asked. He wore a pink track suit, white adidas shoes, and had bleached the front tips of his hair.

 

“Yes, this is,” Wendy said. “I’m Wendy, President of this establishment.”

 

“You fuckers!” The second man yelled, pointing his finger at Wendy. They wore a winter fur coat, blue jeans, and black Nike sneakers. “You ruined us!”

 

“What are you talking about?” Wendy asked.

 

“We’re the LGBT Center in FairPlay!” The first man yelled. “And because of you we had to shut down!”

 

“Sir,” Wendy said, “We don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Because of your bad publicity,” the woman yelled, her voice sounding more deep and possibly masculine, “We had to shut down because no one was coming to our center!”

 

“We can’t control what the media thinks of us,” Wendy explained to them.

 

“Then why did the government AND President Garrison give you guys so much money?” The second man yelled.

 

Craig and Tweek looked over the couch, observing the conversation.

 

“The President gave us money because South Park is his home town!” Wendy explained.

 

“That still doesn’t explain why the government gave this center $50 thousand dollars in funding!” The last woman exclaimed. “Oh, you think we didn’t notice that?”

 

Wendy yelled back, “The government gave us money, and we have the right to make this information classified!”

 

The new kid and Kyle walked out of the office and watched from the hallway.

 

“Then you wouldn’t mind explaining to us why there were forty kilos of cocaine when President Garrison was in South Park?” The man showed them a 8.5x11 inch image of President Garrison on the podium. In the front of him was Randy and the other times folk arguing at President Garrison- the time Wendy recalled was after Manbearpig tore down their wall.

 

And in the photo, just nearing the front of the entrance, was a large bag of cocaine being brought into the front of the LGBT Center. The bag itself was so big, the small person carrying it in was completely hidden in the shot.

 

“What the fuck?” Wendy asked, “Can I have this?”

 

“Take it- we have copies,” the man said, throwing the paper at Wendy.

 

“We already alerted the authorities and the press about this photo!” The first woman yelled, “Until then, we’ll see you in court!”

 

“But you guys aren’t suing us,” Craig said.

 

“Fine!” The man yelled, “We’ll see this place rot.”

 

The group of adults left the center as the five officers walked towards each other, staring at the photo.

 

“Who the fuck did this?” Wendy yelled. “There is no way we have forty kilos of cocaine in this building!”

 

“Gah! We’re gonna get arrest! Oh my god!” Tweek screamed.

 

“Calm down,” Craig assured him, “maybe this photo is fake.”

 

“Wait a minute,” Kyle grabbed the photo, observing the person carrying it in. “I think that’s a kid carrying it in.”

 

“New kid!” Wendy yelled, “You know something about this!”

 

The new kid pulled their phone out, texting as fast as they could,

 

> No Wendy I had nothing to do with this! We’re being framed!

 

“Framed?” Kyle said, “Wait a minute...” Kyle looked closely at the colored image, looking at the bag. “I think... the bag of cocaine is off-lit in the photo.”

 

Craig took the photo next, looking at the bag. “You’re right. This photo is photoshopped.”

 

“Dude...” Kyle rhetorically said, “What the hell is going on here?”

 

* * *

 

**-news broadcast-**

 

“This is, CNN News. Here, with your report, is a midget in a bikini.”

 

On the news showed a short man wearing only a pink bikini standing in front of the LGBT Center. There, was a large crowd protesting in the front.

 

“Thanks Tom. In the small town in Colorado, there are reports that the LGBT Center in South Park is selling drugs! There are witnesses that say that there are large imports of drugs going into the center.”

 

The scene changed to show the man in the pink track suit from the LGBT Center from FairPlay.

 

“Look at this photo!” The man held up the photo of the cocaine, “Clearly, there is a little kid moving that giant bag of cocaine in broad daylight! Something fishy is going on and we’re gonna find out!”

 

“Uh huh, and you also claimed that the LGBT Center here in South Park also has a lot of money from the government?”

 

“That’s right!” The man now held up a bar graph on a sheet of paper. “As you can see here, this LGBT Center has a shit ton of money! Even the Denver one has less money!”

 

“Uh huh, and what do you think is the source of all of this money?”

 

“I think it’s from the drugs that they sell! And our fucking President, President Garrison, gave them a shit ton of money too!”

 

“Uh huh, and does that-“

 

The man in the track suit took the microphone. “If the president and the government gave this LGBT Center money, do you know what this means? THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!”

 

In the background, you can hear the echoes:

 

“THEY TERK OUR JERBS!”

 

“DEY DERK DER DERBS!”

 

“DEY-DER-DUR-DERS!”

  

* * *

 

Later that night, Tweek fiddled with the food on his plate. His parents had prepared a plate of mashed potatoes and other greens; once again, there was no meat on their table.

 

“Tweek,” his father spoke, “How is... the LGBT Center?”

 

“It’s pretty r-rough Dad.” Tweek picked up his cup of coffee and drank some of it.

 

“Hmm? So I’ve heard.” His Dad continued eating, taking a spoon of the potatoes in his mouth.

 

“Sweetie,” Tweek’s Mother requested, “Can you pass the green beans?”

 

Tweek got up on his chair and reached over to his right for the green beans. He lifted the plate up and hovered it over for his mother to reach.

 

“Thank you.” Tweek set the plate back down, sitting down afterwards.

 

“Tweek,” his father spoke up, “We, we wanted to speak to you about something.”

 

“W-what is it dad?” Tweek asked.

 

“We... we were wondering if you could work at Tweek Bros Coffee again.”

 

Ever since Tweek worked at the LGBT Center, he had only reduced his work times at his parent’s shop to the weekends.

 

“Dad, I still work there.”

 

“No sweetie,” his mother interrupted him, “We meant... umm.”

 

His father finished the sentence, “We want you to stop working at the LGBT Center.”

 

Tweek sat paralyzed at what his father requested. “Stop working there? Dad? I love working there!”

 

“But you’ll love working at Tweek Bros!” His father reasoned, “We have a brand new mastrena!”

 

Tweek rolled his eyes, “Dad, I still work there on weekends! I know we have a new mastrena.”

 

“Look, son,” his father set his utensils down, “We’re just worried about our business. When you started working in the LGBT Center, business boomed and we had to hire someone else.”

 

Tweek knew that they hired some millennial teenagers to help them with cleaning and inventory.

 

“And son... do you remember where we get our special mix from?”

 

Tweek slammed his utensils down, “You’re worried that because the LGBT Center sold drugs- Ack- people will find out you put grounded meth in your coffee?”

 

“Tweek sweetie,” his mother shushed him, “Keep your voice down.”

 

“Keep my voice down?” Tweek stood up from his seat, “I can’t keep my voice down because you two monsters want me to quit my job that I love a lotso I can return to your shit hole of a coffee store!”

 

Tweek’s parents remained seated, unaffected by Tweek’s words.

 

“Tweek,” the father spoke, after much of a silence, “We care about you and your future. We just don’t want you to be associated with such a negative group.”

 

Tweek was baffled by what he heard. “N-negative? There’s nothing negative about the LGBT Center!”

 

“Then why is your LGBT Center being publicized about having drugs?”

 

Tweek screamed, running out of his chair and up to his room.

  

* * *

 

Stan stared the red head Jew straight to their face when he argued, “You’re a fucking bitch you know that.”

 

“Me?” Kyle answered back, “why am I the bitch?”

 

“Kyle,” Stan told him, “I thought you and the new kid weren’t dating!”

 

“We aren’t!”

 

“Then why did you defend the new kid when Wendy was yelling at them?”

 

Kyle and Stan started pacing around room in circles, “It’s because I was being a good friend, and-“

 

“Blah blah blah blah blah blah,” Stan repeated.

“I think this is your fault!” Kyle yelled as Stan continued making sounds.

 

“You know,” Stan looked at a framed picture of Wendy that was at his bedside, “It’s because of you that I broke up with Wendy.”

 

“Me?” Kyle asked, who can’t believe what he was hearing, “Wendy broke up with you, you know that?!”

 

Stan rolled his eyes.

 

“And also, it’s not my fault that the new kid likes me and you!” Kyle pointed at Stan, “The New Kid is still experiencing memory loss and gender issues Stan. They said they wanted to learn more about themselves from the past before dating someone.”

 

Stan crossed his arms, “Don’t blame the new kid for all this! This is your fault as well!”

 

“This is your fault as well!” Kyle yelled back.

 

“Ahhhh!” Stan ran forward; charging at the red head. Kyle charged forward too, readying his fists for combat.

 

Stan sent a punch to Kyle’s left shoulder; a move meant for Kyle’s cheek, but the red head proved to be much faster than the noirette anticipated.

 

Kyle sent a low jab at Stan’s ribs, making Stan stumble backwards.

 

The two boys angrily looked at each other briefly before they were both blown away. They both landed on their sides, both crying in pain as their bodies hit the furniture in the LGBT Center office.

 

Stan stood up from where he was blown back. “Hey what gives-“

 

“What the hell?” Kyle said, standing up as well. “Who did this-“

 

They both turned their heads to the door, seeing a crying New Kid standing underneath the door way.

 

“New kid...” Kyle said silently.

 

The new kid brought their phone out, texting a quick phrase, and then ran off.

 

Kyle and Stan slowly drew out their phones from their pockets, both very anxious about what the new kid said.

 

I leave to make a copy and now you two are fighting?

 

You know what, fuck this. I’m leaving.

 

The new kid stormed out of the hallway, passing by Wendy in the lobby.

 

“New Kid Wait!”

 

The new kid stopped; Wendy stood behind them with her hand out.

 

“I... I saw everything new kid.” Wendy shed a tear in her eye. “Just-go!”

 

The new kid ran towards the lobby doors and slammed them open before running out into the cold air of South Park.

 

Stan and Kyle appeared at the hallway, seeing only Wendy in the lobby.

 

“Stan...” Wendy said in a soft voice, “I hope you’re happy with all this.” She marched towards them, heading into the hallway. She marched past them, never batting an eye towards them.

 

“And Kyle...”

 

 

 

“Why did you have to do this to them?”

 

She went into her office, closing the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

Tweek sat in the back room of his parents’ coffee shop, sweeping the ground just like he did yesterday.

 

And the day before that.

 

And the year before that.

 

Tweek dropped the broom and brought both of his hands to his yellow mane of a hair. At the top of his lungs, he screamed, pulling the blonde strands with his hands.

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you done screaming yet?”

 

Tweek jumped, dropping his broom stick to the floor.

 

“Up here.”

 

Tweek turned around and looked up. Craig was standing at the top shelf where the window and roof access panel was.

 

“Craig!” Tweek yelped, “What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m here to bust you out.” Craig climbed the ladder down to the ground, “Come on.”

 

“Craig,” Tweek said, smiling at his boyfriend’s hand, “But I can’t.”

 

“Wait why?” Craig asked, fully stopping at the floor.

 

“Craig,” Tweek walked over to the middle of the room. “Even though my parents are being stupid, I can’t just ditch them and do whatever I want.”

 

“Yeah you can.” Craig told him. “I do it all the time.”

 

“And how many times are you grounded in a month?” Tweek asked.

 

“I see your point.” Craig walked over and sat down at a convenient stool beside the table where the grinder was. “So what’s going to happen?”

 

“What do you mean?” Tweek asked. “I’ll still be a part of the LGBT Center.”

 

“But Tweek,” Craig said, “I need you to be my Treasurer.”

 

Tweek sighed, taking a seat next to the noirette. “I know Craig, and that’s why I think I should tell you this now.”

 

“Tweek, what are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying...” Tweek gulped, “I don’t think we should be sleeping together anymore.”

 

For the first time in forever, Craig gasped.

 

“I just want to convince my parents that I’m fine running the LGBT Center.” Tweek kissed Craig’s cheek. “And that means I have to be productive and not having slumber parties.”

 

“Tweek?” Craig asked.

 

“What is it?” Tweek asked.

 

“We changed a lot since we got back together, didn’t we?”

 

Tweek sighed, recalling of memories past. He had stopped drinking coffee, help destroy a revolution of Crab People, and won a bet against Craig... along with a lot of other things.

 

“We sure have Craig...”

 

 

 

 

“... we sure have.”

 

* * *

 

Kyle rested his head on his pillow, spreading his arms and legs around the bed as he set his phone down.

 

_I hope the new kid would still talk to me..._

 

Kyle held up his phone above his face. The lift to wake feature turned on, displaying his phone’s lock screen. The image was a selfie that Kyle took of him and the new kid the night of the super blood moon.

 

_The new kid is so pretty in this photo..._

 

Kyle smiled whilst looking at the smile the new kid gave in the photo. It enlightened his heart; the photo reminded him of the happy feelings he received that night. The night that the new kid had kissed him- twice!

 

But today, this photo wasn’t helping. It wasn’t filling him with happiness and good memories- now, it was reminding him of the events earlier that day.

 

_Who’s setting us up?_

_Who wants the LGBT Center to die?”_

 

Kyle unlocked his screen and googled the image. Within seconds, he found a news article that had the image in their article: the image of the forty kilos of cocaine being brought into the center.

 

For some reason, Kyle kept replaying the scene of him and Stan arguing.

 

_“It’s because of you that I broke up with Wendy...”_

_“Wendy broke up with you...”_

_“The new kid is still exeriencing...”_

_“Learn about themselves from the past-“_

_The past!_

 

Kyle got up immediately and jumped to his computer seat. Turning the computer on within seconds, Kyle went to work googling for answers.

 

Using the image the LGBT Center received earlier, he compared it to those found online on news articles websites. He then took a picture of the image with his smart phone, uploading it into his computer using AirDrop.

 

He opened up photoshop and placed all three images on three separate layers. Using his photoshop skills, he was able to analyze the light levels of the cocaine bag and the pants of the kid wearing them.

 

Kyle had discovered that the kid holding the cocaine bag was actually part of the original image.

But something wasn’t right.

 

Using the cropping tool, Kyle was able to remove the cocaine bag out of the image, leaving the image of only the kid’s feet and hands. Kyle zoomed in on the image, and saw something revealing that he didn’t notice before.

 

There were purple sleeves to those hands... and khaki pants.

 

There was only one person in the whole grade who wore a purple jacket and khaki pants... (who was white).

 

Kyle went on Facebook and searched for the person’s photo. Luckily, he found one of that person and saved it. He compared the image of the person and the kid in the cocaine photo.

 

It was a perfect match.

 

 

 

 

 

The kid was Terrance Mephisto.

 

“It’s a... perfect match,” Kyle said out loud. “I got to show this to the new kid.”

 

He uploaded the photoshop file, the comparison images, and all the other work onto a 1GB flash storage drive.

 

“I need to get this to the new kid,” Kyle said. He ran down stairs and out of his house, sprinting out of his house to the LGBT Center.

 

“It’s him.”

 

“Get him, buddy.”

 

Out of nowhere, Kyle ran into a horizontal pole. His body flew forward as his head went backwards. Kyle let go of the flash drive in his hand; it flew into the air and landed at a nearby bush.

 

Kyle’s head hit the cement pavement of the sidewalk, shaking every nerve in his body to not move.

 

“You got em’ good, buddy.”

 

“Thanks friend!”

 

Kyle’s vision slowly descended into darkness, blacking out within seconds.

 

* * *

 

The new kid walked outside of the cave and looked into the horizon of hell. After talking and interacting with Satan, they were starting to grow weary.

 

“New kid,” Kenny called out, “you doing okay?”

 

The new kid shrugged their arms.

 

“It must suck not being able to talk here,” Kenny said, now beside them. He leaned on the railing that the new kid was standing at. “What does it say on your phone?”

 

The new kid pulled out their phone and unlocked it. The phone had zero service; and the battery bar was raising up and down on the scale.

 

“Your phone is going fucking crazy,” Kenny laughed, making the new kid chuckle. “Shut that thing off before it blows up.”

 

The new kid chuckled, lightly punching Kenny’s arm.

 

“Hey!” Kenny pouted. The new kid rolled their eyes. “That hurts.”

 

The new kid sighed, staring at the red and fiery horizon in the distance.

 

Kenny asked, “Something wrong new kid?”

 

The new kid looked up, staring at the rocky ceiling above them.

 

“Are you thinking of everyone up there?” Kenny asked. “Kyle... Stan?”

 

The new kid sighed once more, lightly swinging their right foot forward and back.

 

“Hey New Kid...” Kenny continued staring at the horizon, observing the fires of hell continuously burn. “I just wanted to apologize.”

 

The new kid looked over to Kenny, who never once turned around.

 

“For the whole... kissing thing?” Kenny moved his hood lower, allowing his rugged blonde hair to flow into the humid air. “I realize your heart wants someone else.”

 

The new kid scooted closer to Kenny, reaching an arm around his waist.

 

“Don’t worry. I’m not sad or anything,” Kenny returned the favor by giving the new kid a few pats on their back. “Plus... I think someone else caught my eye.”

 

The new kid smiled, continuing to look over the horizon.

 

“New kid! Kenny!”

 

The two kids turned around, seeing Damien at the cave entrance.

 

“We received a message! They’re sending us a threat!” Damien ran back inside, leaving the door open behind him. Kenny and the new kid nodded to each other, running back inside the dark cave.

 

The new kid and Kenny made it back into Satan’s cave, seeing Satan and Damien standing in the middle of the room.

 

“Kenny! New kid,” Satan commanded them, “We received a message from Beelzebub about the threats.”

 

The two kids gathered towards the center, seeing a crystal orb at the center.

 

“Hey Satan!” Beelzebub said through the orb, “Remember me?”

 

“This little Canadian shit is so annoying,” Satan said as he rubbed his temples. “Beelzebub what the fuck do you want?”

 

“You know me Satan! I want to exact my revenge and take over the world!” Beelzebub said.

 

“Beelzebub,” Satan said with his palm over his head, “You know making everyone in the world acknowledge Canada’s existence isn’t exactly taking over the world.”

 

“Yes it is!” Beelzebub exclaimed, “And to start things off, I set off a few... monsters into America.”

 

“You!” Satan exclaimed with a loud and booming voice, “You freed Manbearpig!”

 

“Not only that,” Beelzebub said as he laid down on a hammock. “I also gave the crab queen some powers; I sent some demons to take a host and caused school shootings-“

 

“You did what!?” Satan yelled, “Beelzebub you’re setting off the balance of Hell and Earth what are you doing?”

 

“I’m just doing whatever I can to make Canada a better place; a place that isn’t shamed on its Appreciation day!”

 

“Beelzebub,” Satan argued, “Canada Appreciation day was a year ago.”

 

“Exactly!” Beelzebub yelled, “Today is Canada Appreciation day!”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Satan asked.

 

“Everything!” Beelzebub screamed in anger, “It’s because of you fucks that we went into strike!”

 

“That was because your leader of the WGA was a stupid dipshit that doesn’t understand how global economics works. Which can I ask, why is it called the WGA?

 

“The WGA is the World Canadian Bureau!” Beelzebub answered.

 

“See kids,” Satan told them, “this guy is crazy.”

 

“Shut up!” Beelzebub yelled.

 

“Maybe they haven’t seen how drastic the situation is,” a lackey on the crystal ball told him, “Sir.”

 

“You’re right!” Beelzebub snapped his fingers, and the crystal ball poofed. The scene changed to a dungeon where Beelzebub was floating in front of the shot.

 

“You fool!” Satan yelled, “That’s the dungeon where Manbearpig was stored!”

 

“And guess who I left in there?” Beelzebub asked. The crystal ball slowly drifted sideways; the shot changing to the right perspective.

 

The shot was now facing a cobblestone wall. Demonic red script was written everywhere on the walls; dust and blood were splattered in l directions.

 

And kneeling in the middle of the room, chained to all limbs and tied to limited movement, was a small little boy wearing a green hat.

 

_Kyle._

 

“Beelzebub!” Satan yelled, “Why did you trap a small Jewish boy into the dungeon!”

 

“Relax, Guy,” Beelzebub floated into the shot. “This kid was just... too close to figuring it all out.”

 

“And what exactly do you plan on doing with this kid?” Satan asked.

 

“Well,” Beelzebub asked, “I’m glad you asked.”

 

Beelzebub floated towards Kyle, who was still unconscious and laying on the floor. “Since this kid isn’t baptized, I can sprite him with the Canadian Anti-Christ.”

 

“Beelzebub!” Satan slammed his fists on the table, shaking every other thing in the room, “Your going off prophecy! You mustn’t disturb the ancient rituals!”

 

“Blah blah blah,” Beelzebub answered back, “I must go now byeeeee,” and the crystal ball cut out.

 

“Beelzebub is going to disrupt the flow of Heaven and Hell by doing this,” Satan waved his hand over the crystal ball. In the orb, a cloud appeared and changed the scene into the South Park LGBT Center. “New kid and Kenny. I’m sending you two back to South Park. You two must find out what Kyle found out.”

 

“What are you doing Satan?” Kenny asked.

 

“I’m going to find Beelzebub. I need to stop him before he destroys Hell.”

 

“Father,” Damien asked, “What shall I do?”

 

“Damien, you must find the demons that Beelzebub has let loose.” Satan waved his hand towards the door, and a purple portal appeared instead of the outside. “Can you do that for me son?”

 

“Yes father,” Damien said. “Can I bring a friend?”

 

“Do whatever you must, I must be on my way.” Satan walked over to the portal, stepping in first with his hoof. “And please direct our guests to the exit portal. I wish you all luck.”

 

The three kids waved Satan goodbye as he disappeared.

 

* * *

 

Tweek and Craig were in Craig’s bedroom. The two boys decided to spend the Friday night listening to Pandora whilst cuddling in bed with Stripe.

 

Well, they didn’t decide to cuddle- now, it just became a spontaneous thing.

 

“Hey Craig,” Tweek asked. Stripe the guinea pig was now waddling around in Tweek’s vision around the bed top. “What do you think will happen with the new kid?”

 

“What do you mean?” Craig asked. He was on the other side of the bed, facing Tweek. Stripe started squeaking at the sight of Craig offering him lettuce.

 

“I mean,” Tweek extended his finger and scratch the side of the guinea pig. “Between him and Kyle? Or Stan?”

 

“Or Kenny?”

 

“Wait, the new kid likes Kenny?” Tweek asked in horror.

 

“I don’t know.” Craig smiled when he saw the guinea pig eat the whole lettuce leaf.

 

“Isn’t that a harem?” Tweek asked. “Oh god, it’s starting!”

 

“What’s starting?” Craig asked.

 

“The Harem effect!” Tweek worried state made the guinea pig worried. “Soon, we’re gonna like the new kid, and then Wendy and the whole school and then-“

 

“Woah woah,” Craig gripped Tweek’s hand. “That’s not gonna happen Tweek.”

 

“Why is that? Huh?”

 

“Because I love you and you love me,” Craig said as he extended himself to give Tweek a kiss on his forehead. “The new kid can’t interfere with what we have already.”

 

Tweek’s green eyes wandered to where Craig’s blue eyes were. Upon the sight, Tweek’s face lit up with happiness.

 

“Thanks Craig.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Goddamn it, Stripe pooped on my bed.”

 

“Gross- haha.”

 

“Stop laughing and help me clean this shit up.”

 

“That’s quite a literal shit Craig.”

 

“Shut up Tweek.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid woke up the next day at their bed. They opened their eyes and grabbed their phone from the bed stand.

 

Today was a Saturday, so there wasn’t school today.

 

The new kid yawned as they got out of bed. They noticed that they still had the same clothes that they had on yesterday. And speaking of, what happened yesterday?

 

The new kid remembered that they went to Hell with Kenny.

 

A loud series of knocks at their door startled the new kid. They walked over to the door, and saw their mother standing there.

 

“Hey sweetie,” their mother greeted. “We have some guests downstairs. Can you get ready and meet us in the living room?”

 

The new kid obliged, changing into a new set of clothes. They also done their morning routine and properly brushed their teeth as well. When they walked downstairs, he was surprised to see Shelia and Gerald Broflowski sitting at the couch.

 

“Hey sweetie,” their mother greeted, holding a tray of tea and empty cups. “The Broflowskis wanted to know if you seen their son, Kyle?”

 

Shelia started crying into her tissue, “We didn’t see Kyle come home last night. The last we heard of him he was planning to give you a flash drive.”

 

The new kid peeled up hearing about a flash drive.

 

“And he didn’t come home!” Shelia wailed into her tissue, “we called the police but they have nothing so far!”

 

“There there honey,” Gerald patted her back, “Please. We just wanted to know if you seen Kyle.”

 

The new kid shook no, and brought their phone out. They sent a long text to his mother, typing as fast as they could. They needed to leave.

 

Their mother heard the jingle, and picked up her phone. “They said that Kyle was heading over here, but he never came.” The Mother scrolled down her phone. “And that they were gonna go look for him now.”

 

“I’m sorry for taking your time,” Shelia told him, “You go look for my son. Please! Bring him home!”

 

The new kid waved at the parents and left the house.

 

* * *

 

Kyle woke up extremely dehydrated and dizzy. His eyes were extremely crusty and dried; he felt like his skin was tearing apart just by opening his eyes. His throat was so dry, he felt as if his esophagus was bark inside.

 

_Where... where am I?_

 

Kyle muttered a small cry, trying to hoist himself to stand up. He lifted his right arm, but realized something cold was around his wrist.

 

He raised his hand, hearing the sounds of chains clinging against one another. His hand was bound, and so were his other limbs.

 

“He’s awake, buddy!”

 

“Step aside, pal!”

 

Kyle heard the steel door in front of him move- the sound of iron wheels scraping along the floor echoed across the room. He heard no foot steps, but felt an immense heat approaching him.

 

Out of no where, Kyle felt two leathery hands pick up his arms; they hoisted him up from the floor, lifting him up so he was face to face with the demon.

 

“Hello, little Jewish boy,” the devil greeted. “I’m Beelzebub, the Canadian Devil.” He farted a small fire.

 

“Wha...” Kyle was struggling to conjure up a sentence, “R...... you?”

 

“Hmm?” Beelzebub raised his brow, “What did you two do to this kid.”

 

“He gave himself a concussion when he ran into my arm, buddy.”

 

“Oh shit,” another voice said, “we should get him some medical help.”

 

“Get him some help immediately!” Beelzebub ordered. “We can’t have the bearer of the Anti-Christ be a retard!”

 

“A-anti c-chrissssst?” Kyle asked, unsure of what he was listening.

 

“Yes sir!” The two voices said. Kyle continued staring at Beelzebub, even when the floating devil left the dungeon. His vision started blacking out again as he felt the chains on his body snapping off.

 

* * *

 

This was now the twelfth time the new kid was recreating Kyle’s steps. Using the context they had earlier, security footage from Stan’s house, and security footage from Cartman’s house, the new kid figured out how Kyle was going to Stan’s house.

 

Security footage from both houses were very limited- they only revealed footage from whoever passed by the front door. Stan’s house revealed that a green hat had passed by the home. Eric’s footage however, revealed that Kyle had not passed by it. There was only one way Kyle could get to the new kid’s house without crossing the street; meaning Kyle disappeared in between Stan’s and Eric’s house.

 

The new kid walked from Stan’s house to Eric’s house once again. They observed every little thing in between the houses. The sidewalk, the grass, the hedge- the new kid was trying their best to see what exactly happened.

 

“New kid!” The new kid turned behind them to see Kenny approaching. “Did you get something?”

 

After a series of long texts, Kenny fully understood the situation.

 

“Okay, why don’t we reenact the part?”

 

> Reenact?

 

“You know. I’ll try to be a kidnapper and you try to be Kyle.” Kenny pointed the new kid to Stan’s house. “Ready?”

 

The new kid nodded and walked over to Stan’s house. When they turned around, the new kid thought of an idea.

 

They started running to their own house. The new kid realized that if Kyle found something like this, then Kyle would of sprinted over.

 

The new kid sprinted down the sidewalk, running as fast as they can, until Kenny swung their arm. The new kid was able to drop and slide underneath the arm, stopping at the other side of the hedge.

 

“Why were you running new kid?” Kenny asked.

 

> Kyle would of been running.

 

Kenny snapped his fingers, “he would!”

 

> Why did you swing your arm?

 

Kenny announced, “if I was gonna kidnap sometime... I would of hid behind the hedge...

 

> What about inside the hedge?

 

The two kids turned to the hedge and examined its contents. The inside was densely packed with branches; it was too packed for someone to hide in there.

 

They looked down, and found a silver flash drive on the floor.

 

“Kyle’s flash drive,” Kenny whispered. The new kid bent down and picked it up.

 

“New kid,” Kenny ordered, “You go find what’s inside the hard drive. Since we can only contact Satan through the night, I’ll go get ready then. I need to wash my costume.”

 

The new kid rolled their eyes. _Really?_

 

Kenny chuckled, “You know me so well.” And with that, the two kids parted ways, traveling in opposite directions.

 

* * *

 

Wendy sat alone at Stark’s Pond. She stared forward at the lake; the calm waters and the small amount of ice floating on the top simply drifting. As she continued to stare at the water, there was only one thing running through her mind-

 

_Stan._

 

Wendy continued to think about the boy. The fact that Stan, who was heterosexual, actually liked another kid that was born male... but didn’t identify as male. Stan had also kissed them too- that was almost the equivalent amount of how much they progressed.

 

But it wasn’t the fact that Stan liked another person... it was the fact that Stan liked the new kid.

 

Wendy never had problems with the new kid. In fact, the new kid is the only person in the world that she never had a problem with. And that was an understatement- she loved working with the new kid in LGBT cases, fights, and other events as well.

 

And thats why Wendy had a crush on the new kid way before everyone started having crushes.

 

There was only one reason why she stopped liking the new kid. And ironically, it was on this exact bench that it happened.

 

When Wendy found the new kid meddling behind a bush, watching Tweek and Craig kiss at sunset, she found herself... not liking the new kid anymore. It wasn’t the fact that they were watching or interfering with the relationship. It was the fact that the new kid was so much like her.

 

As the new kid texted Wendy about how Craig displayed masculinity and whatnot, she was watching the new kid text. They typed so fast with zero errors. And, they don’t even look at the phone screen while texting too. There’s also the fact that the new kid acknowledged how much she knew as well.

 

The fact is, the new kid was just to similar to Wendy as a person. That’s why Wendy stopped crushing over the new kid and instead adopted them as a sibling.

 

“Wendy?”

 

Wendy didn’t even turn around to acknowledge the boy behind the park bench.

 

“Take a seat, Stan.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid plugged in the flash drive into their computer and booted up the program.

 

The flash drive was filled to the brim with information. For a 256 GB flash drive, the new kid found notepads full of script; files and documents of previous homework. He even found files that led to years before. There were over sixty seven folders within opening the drive, and each folder had fifteen more folders inside. The new kid cried. Not from how much searching they had to do, but because of how neatly organized

everything was.

 

 

 

After three hours of searching, the new kid stumbled upon something strange.

 

There was a folder named ‘Writings’ and inside was a notepad program for everyday since the year before. After searching for three hours, the new kid decided it would be okay to open it up. They picked a random writing and opened it.

 

> I guess, there are some days you have to realize that getting over something is a lot nicer when you have the support of your friends and allies.

 

The new kid decided that it wouldn’t hurt opening another one.

 

> It’s fun. Once you realize that once you fully commit to something, you realize how much you rely on it.

 

> You realize how blinded you are by your own accomplishments and goals. You realize how much it bliss you from others- from society.

 

> But once you realize that you have people supporting you, you realize that maybe it was worth sacrificing everything.

 

> But to those who never realized it, those who realize that their change had not been for the better. Those are the ones who realize how fucked up they are.

 

The new kid thought about the fact that Kyle wrote these during days of the LGBT Center being open. And the events that ensued during those times.

 

They decided to go back and to search for the plans. Within a few minutes, they had found the folder. And inside was an Adobe Photoshop JPEG file.

 

The file contained three layers- all of them being pictures of the LGBT Center with the cocaine bag. But the new kid saw that on the third layer, a certain boy was placed instead of the cocaine bag.

 

The new kid grabbed their phone and snapped a picture off the screen. Within seconds, the new kid was able to send the picture.

 

> What do we do now Kenny?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I said everything in the beginning authors notes, but some things to add.
> 
> So recently, I’ve been getting into Lorde because of this series, South Park making fun of her, and because she didn’t get a Grammy. And I got to say, if you see some of her influence in this series, you now know why. 
> 
> Also, I just wanted to add that no Kyles were harmed in the making of this series. 
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, on a serious matter, thank you all so much for sticking around with my dumbass. This series hit 2,000 hits; 100 kudos; and I’ve been contacted to collaborate on South Park Zines (I actually rejected them because I don’t have time, but also I don’t understand what Zines are so someone please explain). 
> 
> Thank you guys, gals, and non-binary pals.   
> -Negira
> 
> Late Author’s note: It was Kyle. Who was betting that it was Kyle?
> 
> Late Author’s note 2: this is published using a mobile device so I am so sorry if you see grammatical mistakes, formatting errors, or just anything wrong.


	13. Speak of the Canadian Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Canadian Devil strikes! The LGBT Center is under attack!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEEEEEE IM FINALLY DONE! HOLY SHIT WAS THIS PROJECT DIFFICULT.
> 
> So if you need more context of what I just said, basically.... I started this project around September/October. I really wanted to be different from other writers on this website, and I wanted to do a story in a new way. Thus, these episodes.
> 
> Um... I guess I should continue with the story huh? Welp. My Tumblr blog is Negira1239sp. I will (eventually) post whatever didn't make season 1 on Tumblr as like bonus stories, so look forward to that.
> 
> And have fun reading this chapter. I might actually redo this chapter if I have time, because I'm like half happy/ half mad at it. 
> 
> thanks guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

 

“Beelzaboot!”

 

Beelzaboot turned around, seeing his two henchmen/demons flying into his office.

 

“Beelzaboot!” One of the henchmen/demons reported, “I just thought of something!”

 

“What is it?” Beelzaboot asked. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something important!?” He was in the middle of making a wooden crib for he Canadian Anti-Christ.

 

“Why don’t we get a second hostage?” The henchmen asked.

 

“Why do we need a second one in the first place?” Beelzaboot asked. “We already got the Jewish kid.”

 

“What I’m saying is that maybe we need a second hostage, so when the Jewish kid becomes the surrogate we have another kid to torture.”

 

Beelzaboot flew up, farting a small ball of fire away from the wooden crib. “That’s a great idea, buddy! Now just one thing- I can only transform into Canadian citizens.”

 

“That’s right. The only other Canadian in South Park is the Jewish boy’s adopted brother.” The henchman thought about it. “We should get an older kid to torture and not a pesky kindergartener.”

 

“Hey,” the second one wondered, “I have an idea...”

 

* * *

 

Wendy screamed into the megaphone, “For the last time, the South Park LGBT Center is not a drug dealership!”

 

“RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!” The townsfolk shouted back.

 

Wendy was standing at the front steps of the LGBT Center holding a megaphone as rednecks, concerned townsfolk, and police officers lined up around the perimeter of the space.

 

“We don’t want you, your drugs, or your center in town!” The other men cheered and blew whistles to that remark.

 

“I don’t understand why you think we have drugs in the center!” Wendy told them, “I can 100% say, with zero remorse, that we do not have illegal drugs in the center!”

 

“That’s because a dumb bitch like you don’t know nothin’ about drugs!”

 

Wendy was stunned by the words. “Sir, that is a sexist statement! And just to let you know I have a 4.0 GPA and I’m a Tri-Athlete and the President of this LGBT Center!”

 

“But your dumb bitch-ass can’t even admit that you have drugs in the store.”

 

Wendy angrily yelled as she turned around, slamming the lobby door shut behind her.

 

She locked the double glass doors and angrily marched into her office. Slamming the door behind her, Wendy slammed both of her fists onto the table. She turned around, sliding against the wall as tears started coming out of her eyes.

 

A few days before she was left alone, the five officers decided that they would all do part on the drug scandal. Kyle was picked to find the source of the photoshop; the New Kid and her were to stay at the center; Tweek was picked to find out where the bag of cocaine was now; and Craig was picked to erase any bad media online and to prevent the news to be sent to the Denver division.

 

Now, Kyle was officially missing for two days; andthe New Kid went to look for him. Tweek had been pulled by his parents with force and Craig was trying to bring him back since.

 

And that left Wendy alone to fend the LGBT Center for herself. She started weeping, crying her eyes into her hands as she realized that she couldn’t do this alone.

 

Wendy sat in the office for over thirty minutes crying to herself. No one interfering her...

 

 

 

No one helping her.

 

* * *

 

Tweek had just finished the last amount of prep work before he could officially close the store.

 

Due to his parents insane rules about having non-family members as employees, Tweek was alone by himself closing the store. Sure, there was a lot to do- dishes, organization, money counting- but really, it calmed him down.

 

Well, not really. The idea that a nine year old closing a coffee shop at 10:00 pm alone was very scary. In fact, Tweek didn’t know why he wasn’t screaming right now. Maybe it was the fact that he’d been doing this for years.

 

As Tweek was sweeping the floors- the very last activity of the night- there were a few knocks on the glass doors. Tweek looked at the time- 10:26.

 

Too afraid to turn around, Tweek kept his composure- mostly- and yelled, “Sorry, we closed half an hour ago.”

 

The glass doors knocked once more. “Tweek!”

 

Tweek turned around and saw Craig at the two glass doors.

 

“Oh- thank god!” Tweek ran over to the Doris and opened them, feeling the embrace of 47 degree Fahrenheit air. “Jesus it’s cold!”

 

Craig closed the doors behind him. “You’re only wearing a dress shirt!” Craig took off his blue jacket, revealing his white nasa shirt, and held it in the air.

 

Tweek blushed as he felt his boyfriend wrap the warm material around him.

 

“Let me walk you home tonight,” Craig said, “It isn’t safe anymore.”

 

After Kyle disappeared, the New Kid and Kenny had told everyone about the abduction.

 

“Let me finish sweeping Craig,” Tweek argued, “And please let me go.”

 

Craig’s face became more red as he let go of his jacket, along Tweek to pull his arm through the sleeves.

 

* * *

 

Butters placed the last of his toys away in his toy chest, singing a small little song he invented himself.

 

> Putting, all my toys away,
> 
> Saving them, for another day!

 

As Butters placed the last toy- a red fire truck- into the chest neatly, a notification dinged from the computer.

 

“I got a message?” Butters said out loud. He closed the chest shut and waddled over to his computer.

 

His monitor was completely lit up, with Skype jumping up and down on the dock. Butters clicked on Skype; the program opened up, revealing that someone was live calling him. He accepted the call.

 

The window phased and opened up a square. On the other side was a brunette Canadian girl, sitting at a chair in front of her computer.

 

“Charlotte!” Butters yelled excitedly.

 

“Butters!” Charlotte yelled, surprised and happily.

 

“Charlotte! I- I haven’t seen you in so long!” Butters said, his smile as wide as it can go.

 

“Butters! I’m so happy to see you!” Charlotte said, “I just missed seeing you!”

 

“Charlotte- why are you calling me?” Butters asked. “Didn’t you say that you’ll never speak to me again?”

 

Charlotte’s smile turned back to a frown. “I’m sorry Butters, I was just getting full with myself. I promise that it’ll never happen again.”

 

“Charlotte,” Butters responded, “I... I don’t know if I should trust you or not.”

 

“Please Butters! I need your help!” Charlotte yelled.

 

“Help?”

 

“Beelzaboot! He’s coming!” Charlotte yelled. “He’s coming right now for me!”

 

“He is?” Butters asked, his face full of seriousness.

 

“He is! I need your help Butters!”

 

“Me?” Butters patted himself, “What can I do?”

 

“You’re American Butters!” Charlotte told him, “You can actually fight him!”

 

“Well, I don’t know Charlotte.” Butters looked at the web camera. “I... It’s not like I can just go to Canada and help you.”

 

“Butters please!” Charlotte yelled, “They took my family!”

 

“Your family?” Butters looked at the clock- the clock was showing 10:35 pm. “It’s pretty late, don’t you think I-“

 

“Butters please go!” Charlotte screamed, “Please! I don’t wanna die!”

 

Butters looked back at the clock and the door. He turned to his computers, and pent up his fist.

 

“Okay!” Butters got up from the chair. “I’m coming after you Charlotte!”

 

“Butters! Thank you!” Charlotte blew a kiss. “All you have to do is open your window and the Canadian winds will guide you!”

 

“Okay!” Butters ran and climbed his bed. Once on top, he unlocked the bolt and opened both panels wide open.

 

Butters felt two giant arms grip his body as a third placed a white cloth on his face.

 

* * *

 

Tweek and Craig were both holding their hands together as they walked down the street. Today, the two boys decided to take the long route through the park and through all the urban houses. After all, Tweek’s house was just across the street from Stan’s house.

 

“Isn’t this nice T-Tweek?” Craig said, shivering from only wearing his white NASA T-Shirt.

 

“Craig,” Tweek argued, “You should just wear your jacket. I’m used to the cold.”

 

“Bullshit Tweek.” Craig raised his hand and blew his breath into his hand, “I’m fine. See?”

 

Tweek chuckled and pulled both of his arms from the sleeves. Letting go of Craig’s hand, he managed to drape the jacket over Craig’s back. He then raised Craig’s arm to rest above Tweek’s shoulder- allowing them both to be covered by the blue jacket.

 

“And here I was thinking we could both get hypothermia.” Craig smiled, feeling Tweek lift his left hand so he could grip it with his draping arm.

 

“Craig,” Tweek chuckled, “Don’t think like that.”

 

“But don’t you like that about me?”

 

“Yes- but it’s bad to think about the negatives all the time.”

 

“Says the person who has anxiety.”

 

Craig chuckled again, and now aimed his head up to look at the night sky.

 

“There aren’t that many stars tonight,” Craig said, “I was hoping we could use my telescope.”

 

“You know Craig,” Tweek asked, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

 

“What is it honey?” Craig looked to his blonde partner.

 

“Space or Guinea Pigs?” Tweek said, having no trouble in his pronunciations.

 

Craig looked at Tweek with eyes of horror. “You’re making me choose? How could you?”

 

Tweek smiled and laughed, watching his boyfriend fluster up.

 

“Fine. I pick- wait what is that?”

 

The two boys stopped behind the hedge in front of Stan’s house and looked around the bush. There, in front of Butters’ house- was Butters. There were two large men wearing all black carrying the small boy on their back.

 

“Craig!” Tweek harshly whispered, “They’re abducting Butters!”

 

“We need to follow them.” Craig pushed himself and Tweek into the hedge, making sure they weren’t seen. “Ready?”

 

And the two boys followed them. They snuck approximately twenty feet away from the henchmen as they walked across town, keeping Butters in a large black trash bag. They followed the men past the main-street, past Tweak Bros. Coffee, past the U-Stor-It area, and into the farm.

 

They also watched as the old farmer at the barn allowed the two men through, doing them no block at all. Craig and Tweek also managed to sneak past the man, ignoring every single comment the memberberries were making.

 

“Where are we?” Tweek asked. The two boys were now walking through a dark forest heading north. “I feel like we’ve been walking for hours.”

 

“Nah Tweek,” Craig assured him, “We’re just north of South Park. That’s all.

 

Tweek and Craig suddenly stopped as they saw a red light flash in front of them. They both dove into the bushes, hiding themselves in the brush until the light disappeared.

 

* * *

 

Wendy was walking home alone for the third day in a row. She was used to it by now, but having it be 10:45 at night, it was somewhat spooky.

 

She made sure to look both way before crossing the street over to the next block. On her way back, Wendy was already planning out every activity she would do once she was in her sanctum.

 

_I’m gonna take a fucking shower and just rush through my homework. Ooo wait, I need to type out the synopsis for the book report or else I’ll be behind. But I also have to-_

 

Wendy was bounced backwards, falling to the ground. “Ow, I’m so sorry for bumping into you.”

 

“Wendy?”

 

Wendy looked up and saw Stan in front of her. She was at her house, with Stan on the ground in front of her.

 

“Stan. My apologies for walking into you.”

 

“Wendy, I-“ Wendy already situated herself to stand up.

 

“-Stan,” she said nonchalantly, “Remember what I said about-“

 

“-Wendy,” Stan stood up as well, “Please, take me back.”

 

“Stan, you have the hots for the new kid. I can’t be your girlfriend with you liking them.”

 

“But why?” Stan whined, “Wendy, I love you!”

 

“Stan,” Wendy said firmly. “Why are you really here for?”

 

“Wendy I-“

 

“Cut the crap Stan. You don’t just jump in with the ‘I love you’ trope. Whenever something comes up, you always say the ‘I love you’ part first before revealing the real important issue.”

 

Stan sighed as he whipped out a flash drive from his pocket. “The new kid wanted me to give you this. The last thing Kyle found before he disappeared.”

 

Wendy snatched the flash drive from Stan’s fingers.

 

“Wendy… I’m just sorry alright.”

 

Wendy turned her head away, heading towards the front door.

 

“Just… I know I made you hate me and yourself. I know I fucked up and I kissed the new kid. I know how… fucked up I am and how it’s always my fault that we have these fights. I.. I know.”

 

Wendy stopped at her front door step.

 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m still discovering myself, and that I know that feeling now. I can’t describe it, but that feeling is what makes us alive- it’s what makes us human and separate from animals.”

 

Wendy managed to unlock her door.

 

“You don’t have to take me back. Trust me, I wouldn’t take myself back either. But just now that I’ll still care about you. I’ll still be jealous of any new guy or girl or whoever you date, but it’s up to you on what to do with me. I can only apologize and tell you my feelings. I shouldn’t be the one making you choose.”

 

Wendy didn’t look back as she closed the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

The new kid and Kenny were back in Satan’s cave, both standing inside as Satan was at the crystal orb. Damien walked in, holding another blonde kid’s hand with him.

 

“Hey Pip,” Kenny greeted, “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

 

“Hello o’ chap!” Pip greeted. “And who might you be?”

 

The new kid only waved, never speaking a word.

 

“It’s good to meet you too!”

 

“Father,” Damien said, “We managed to get most of the demons out of the Middle Americas and the East Coast. They didn’t seem to be as much West as we thought.”

 

“That’s fine Damien,” Satan said, hovering his two hands around the orb. “Just step aside as I channel the energy to find Beelzaboot.”

 

The boys watched as the red beast was able to make the crystal ball levitate, watching the scenes inside switch and rotate like television channels.

 

“Wait!” Damien shouted, “Right there!”

 

Satan stopped, and the screen showed a red background with Beelzaboot standing in front.

 

“Beelzebub!” Satan shouted, “I have found you!”

 

“You havne’t found anything!” Beelzaboot farted a small fire onto the ground. “In fact, you guys are getting behind.”

 

“Behind- what are you talking about?” Satan asked.

 

“Well you see,” Beelzaboot stepped to his left, revealing an unconscious Butters lying on the ground.

 

“Butters!” Kenny shouted. The new kid slammed their hand on Kenny’s mouth.

 

“Why do you have a second hostage?” Satan yelled.

 

“We need a hostage after we get the Anti-Christ out you know,” Beelzaboot laughed, “and for the last time Satan my name is Beelzaboot! Not Beelzebub! Beelzebub is the norse Satan dip-shit.”

 

Satan rolled his eyes, “Let the two kids go before I come over there and send you to the darkest dimension!”

 

Beelzaboot laughed, “There’s no way I’m letting you get near me!” Beelzaboot farted another fire onto the ground. “Oh, and get here soon- the Anti-Christ is almost ready for insertion.”

 

The transmission went out.

 

“Damn it!” Satan slammed his hands on his thighs, having no table nearby. “I found the place in hell but it turns out he’s hiding on Earth! We need to find out where he is!”

 

He turned to the new kid. “Hey new kid, can I borrow your soul?”

 

* * *

 

Wendy plugged in the flash drive and opened up its content. Luckily, the new kid had created a shortcut to the program she had to open at the beginning, allowing her to open up the document.

 

The document was a photoshop JPEG file, consisting of multiple layers. There were three layers of the LGBT Center photo with the cocaine bag picture, and all three of them were overplayed as well. She could also see that the kid who was carrying the bag was Terrance Mephesto.

 

“So it was Terrance Mephesto?” Wendy wondered. She opened up a brand new tab and into the search engine entered Terrance Mephesto.

 

There were only several things that she could find about the boy- he had been dead for a while, and he was supposedly reburied with multiple asses from his father.

 

But really caught her eye was that she had found a photo on his Facebook that dated a few months before his death. It was a photo of the LGBT Center in FairPlay. She googled the LGBT Center in FairPlay, and was astounded by the results.

 

The LGBT Center in FairPlay was closed over six months ago due to the four main members dying from drunk driving.

 

As Wendy was reading the article, she suddenly realized. The main four members were dead, but they were just here a few days before.

 

Wendy jumped into the air as she heard her phone ring beside her. She looked at the contact, and saw that Tweek was calling her.

 

“Yes Tweek?”

 

“Wendy! Haveyou seen the New kid?”

 

“No-“ Wendy continued skimming the article, “I haven’t seen them since they went to look for Kyle.”

 

“Shit!-“ Tweek was cut off and Craig came on the phone, “Wendy! Meet us at the new kid’s house! We found something!”

 

“I did to,” Wendy saved the information on a Microsoft word document and onto the flash drive. “I’ll meet you two there in five minutes.”

 

* * *

 

The new kid felt strange having demonic powers flow through them. Having Satan control your soul is one thing, but walking through portals and appearing in your bedroom the next second is very wild.

 

The new kid and Kenny both appeared in the new kid’s bedroom. The portal closed behind them as soon as they were three feet away from it.

 

“Okay, now we need to find out where Beelzaboot is,” Kenny said, “It feels weird calling him Beelzaboot and not Beelzebub.”

 

The two kids walked down the stairs and towards the front door silently, making the faintest Of sounds.

 

As they got outside, they were immediately greeted by Wendy, Tweek, and Craig.

 

“You’re not going to believe this new kid- Kenny?” Wendy asked.

 

“Yup.” Kenny made the p pop. “And say hello to Satan. He’s borrowing the new kid’s soul.”

 

“Hello Satan,” the three kids said.

 

“Hello Craig, Tweek, and Wendy,” the new kid said with Satan’s deep voice.

 

“Hey... can you just not talk?” Craig requested. “The new kid is silent the whole time, and it’s kinda scary to hear your voice come out of them.”

 

“Oh alright.” The new kid made a zipper motion across their mouth and tossed a fake key into the ground.

 

“Okay getting back on track,” Wendy pulled out the flash drive. “It turns out, it was Terrance Mephesto who had the drugs.”

 

“Wait what?!?!” Tweek shouted.

 

“But he’s dead, isn’t he?” Craig asked. “We saw his body at the lab.”

 

“Yes, but it also turns out that the four members of the center in FairPlay are all dead as well.” Wendy opened her phone and showed them a picture of the five dead people. “It looks like, with Satan in the New Kid’s soul, the people who are attacking us are dead.”

 

“Almost,” Kenny said, “Almost Wendy.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Wendy asked.

 

“It’s Beelzaboot- the Canadian Devil. He’s trying to kill our LGBT Center. He can manipulate other demons to look like any dead person. But he can change himself to look Canadian.”

 

The new kid nodded for assurance.

 

“Then the two henchmen we saw,” Tweek added in. “They must be working for this Canadian Devil.”

 

Wendy, Kenny, and the new kid all looked at Tweek.

 

“We saw two people kidnap Butters from his bedroom,” Craig told them.

 

“Then that’s totally them!” Kenny said with determination, “We need to get them now!”

 

“Not so fast everyone.” The new kid spoke out, “Sorry, but I need you all to go home first and inform your parents about this matter.”

 

“Satan, you’re such a dad.” Kenny retorted.

 

“Fine then.” the new kid walked out of the circle and faced the street. “Everyone go home and grab supplies. We’re going to be taking down the Canadian Devil.”

 

* * *

 

Butters woke up cold and wet. His head was dizzy as he breathed in air for the first time- his throat burned like he had just vomited.

 

“Oh look!” A voice echoed. “The blonde one is awake!”

 

Butters looked up from the ground and saw a figure floating to him. He wore mostly red and black, had wings and a tail- and fire coming out of his butt. He assumed it was the Canadian Devil just from the appearance.

 

“You,” he looked directly to Butters, “Are you ready for some torture?”

 

“T-torture?” Butters asked, his throat stinging insanely at the moment. “W-Water.”

 

“You heard him!” the devil shouted, “Give him some water!”

 

The devil flew up as a small stream of water started flowing on the floor. It was then Butters realized that he was in a cylindrical tube.

 

“Don’t worry, this water won’t drown you-“ the devil farted into the water, the fire distinguishing immediately, “it’ll slowly rise up in an hour, and then it’ll kill you.”

 

“P-Please sir!” Butters yelled as loud as he could, “Please don’t do this!”

 

“Oh, but I’m gonna need to torture ya a tinny bit. After all, Satan knows where I am now.”

 

“Satan?” Butters asked in confusion.

 

“I spoke too much.” The devil flew away, revealing to Butters that he was in a tube with a window at the bottom. Though the window, he could see a boy in a green hat strapped to a chair.

 

“Kyle!” Butters walked towards the window, his hands touching along the glass, and realized that he couldn’t step any closer. He looked down and saw that his foot was chained to the center of the cylinder.

 

The two henchmen laughed as they saw Butters pounding on the glass. “That kid is real funny, heh buddy?”

 

“He sure is, huh guy?” the two henchmen laughed.

 

“Hey henchmen!” Beelzaboot yelled, “Get back to work! Get ready for Satan’s arrival!”

 

* * *

 

Wonder Tweek and Super Craig finally lead Butthole, Call Girl, and Mysterion towards the trail that they founded earlier.

 

“Earlier when we were following them, we saw a giant red light,” Wonder Tweek explained. “We both ducked down here because we thought they caught us following them.”

 

“That red light isn’t a warning light,” Butthole explained. They walked forward into the clearing in front of them.

 

The clearing was quite large- almost the size of half a basket ball court. Although the clearing was in front of them, it was the giant brick and cement wall in front of them that surprised them.

 

“We’re right next to Canada?” Super Craig asked.

 

“Yes, and no.” Kenny explained. “Beelzaboot must of made a shortcut that we didn’t notice earlier.”

 

“I noticed,” Butthole said.

 

“Yes. Because you’re fucking Satan. Anyways, we all walked into a portal and are now at the entrance.”

 

“Step aside everyone.” Butthole walked towards the center of the clearing and raised their arms. The four other kids watched as Butthole chanted a few words, a red glow coming out of their eyes.

 

The ground shook below them. The trees and the leaves were starting to shake back and forth, all of the foliage falling to the ground. Butthole pointed his hand like a gun and shot the red beam into the ground. The beam disappeared into the ground, creating a giant red pentagram on the ground.

 

“Get on the pentagram now!”

 

The kids did as they were told, and were magically transported into a cave.

 

Inside the cave were cubical stalagmites and stalactites hanging or standing along the sides. The tunnel itself was neatly dug so that the walk ways were cleared of any stone or gravel. They were paved and smoothed over, making them very clean as well.

 

“I’ll go for Beelzaboot,” Butthole said, “Everyone else just fight off minions or some shit.”

 

“I’ll free the hostages,” Mysterion said, “Everyone break!”

 

* * *

 

Butthole felt amazing that night. With Satan doing the talking and them controlling the body, Butthole felt like they could do anything. Not to mention, Satan had boosted them superpowers as well.

 

Their Root Burst attack was now powerful enough to break iron doors and to pierce through demons with Satan enchanting them. Satan’s presence also allowed them to become lighter, making their Dragon Reversal attack fly fast faster. And the best part was their third ability that they had recently changed: Heat Wave. Being it having fire and Satan literally controls fire, their ability had double in damage and in distance as well.

 

Butthole slammed their hands on the walls as a large set of roots sprouted forwards. The roots were so large and sharp that the wall in front of them torn down. The room on the other side revealed to be a large chamber. Inside the room was another opponent.

 

“You’re just in time, Satan.” Beelzaboot said, “Our team is just about to put the Anti-Christ into the Jew.”

 

“Let him go, Beelzaboot!” Butthole felt Satan taking control of their body, as they started to hover into the air. “The Anti-Christ is not set to bloom yet!”

 

“We’ll just have to see about that!”

 

And with that, the American Devil was fighting against the Canadian Devil.

 

* * *

 

Call Girl slammed her two selfie sticks into another demon, sending them to the ground unconscious.

 

“Look out!” Tweek yelled.

 

Call Girl ran towards the wall and jumped towards it. She then kicked off the wall, sending her body to fly up and away. As she wall-jumped off the wall, she had both her selfie sticks in air to wack her next opponent. Below her, she heard a large slam into the wall.

 

Super Craig punched the demon square in the face using his Mega Fist Punch, immediately knocking them out. The demon flew backwards, breaking the wall Call Girl jumped off of.

 

Wonder Tweek sent a large bolt of lighting to the demons in front of him, electrocuting three of them.

 

“There’s too many of them!” Call Girl said, slamming her selfie sticks into another one. “We can’t defeat all of them.”

 

“Wonder Tweek!” Craig called, “We need Eros Eruption!”

 

Super Craig moved to Wonder Tweek’s spot, standing next to the electricity based super hero. He let out his right hand, and Tweek grasped for it with his left. A light Japanese string instrument of some sort could be heard in the background, followed by a bang of several taiko drums. The scene changes and the two are now anime-mized and speaking Japanese.

 

Tweek spoke first, “今だょ。君のカを僕にさょうだい...” (It’s time. Please lend me your power...)

 

Craig then followed, “ああ。ふたりでー緒たイこう!” (Alright! Let’s go together!*)

 

They then leaned close to each other. Both of their faces were inches away from each other. They both chanted, “溢れ出した愛はーつとなり世界を満たす!” (We’ll fill this world with our overflowing, combined love!) The two boys, for a flash of a second, joined hands and were both flashed naked with only their underpants on.

 

The cut scene ended and the two boys were both floating in mid air with joined hands. A bright pink smoke with pink flowers infested the room as “Let’s fighting love” played in the back ground. The pink smoke cleared up immediately as soon as they floated back to the ground.

 

The pink spike inflicted heavy damage onto all of the opponents and also gave them the confused status condition. Most of the demons had passed out from the damage, and now the remaining ones were hitting their own teammates.

 

“Look out!” Call Girl grabbed her phone out and spammed a series of buttons and setting on it. Behind Tweek and Craig, a large demon had appeared behind them, but had stopped approaching them when their phone exploded.

 

“Hey!” the large demon yelled, “That’s my phone!”

 

“You talk!” Call Girl walked over to where Tweek and Craig was, holding her sticks in her hands. “Who are you?”

 

The large demon smirked. “I’m one of Beelzaboot’s henchmen.”

 

“Then I guess I got to kick your ass!” Call Girl charged forward, reading her dual sticks in both hands.

 

* * *

 

Mysterion had managed to get himself lost. Well, not entirely lost, but… still lost. They had simply followed the path of where the demons were coming from, and had used their abilities to get through them. Eventually, he ended up at the end of a large hallway, at the very end a large door.

 

Using his abilities, he managed to break the door open, walking in to what seemed to be a laboratory.

 

“Hey!” A large red demon yelled, “Who are you?”

 

“Your worst nightmare!” Mysterion charged forward, using this Dread Rush ability to phase through the large demon. Once he appeared on the other side, he kicked backwards, kicking them large demon into a table, knocking over a large assortment of chemicals.

 

Mysterion then realized where he was. At his right, was Kyle strapped to a table. And Butters was in a giant vat at his right as well.

 

“What the hell is this place!” Mysterion yelled, running towards Kyle and Butters. Suddenly, the demon phased in front of him, hitting Mysterion’s chest. He was sent flying backwards.

 

“You don’t seem to know who I am, buddy.” The demon stood on two feet, their back arching forward heavily; their hands and claws hanging downward. “I am Beelzaboot’s best fighter.”

 

“And you don’t seem to know who I am either.” Mysterion smirked, standing straight up. “I am Mysterion, and I am going to rip you apart.”

 

Mysterion looked to see Butters slamming his fist frantically on the glass. There was water inside, and it was already up to his knees.

 

 

 

“And I better do it quickly.”

 

* * *

 

Butthole slammed their hands on the walls, summoning a large assortment of roots to sprout in random directions in the tall spiraling chamber. Beelzaboot flew around, dodging the large spikes of plants that sprouted from the walls. He then used the fire in his hands to blow the roots away, burning them all to a crisp. When the flames cleared, Butthole rushed forward with their Dragon Reversal ability. They flew past Beelzaboot, grabbing them by the wings, and pushed them towards the wall. Beelzaboot slammed in the walls, his wings not stop flapping.

 

“You’re quite the fighter Satan,” the Canadian Devil applauded, “But I hope you realize that this is just getting started.”

 

Beelzaboot sent several fireballs directly to Butthole, sending them in all sorts of direction. Butthole dived downward, dodging the fireballs as they blew up the wall behind them.

 

“Just stop it Beelzaboot! This is pointless!” Butthole send upward their Heat Wave attack. A large wave of fire sprouted from the chamber upward, engulfing the whole area they were fighting in.

 

Beelzaboot flew past the flames and dove towards Butthole. He grabbed the arms and slammed the silent hero into the wall. “What do you mean this is pointless?!?!” He grabbed Butthole’s head and spun, slinging them towards another wall. “Do you even know why I’m doing this Satan?”

 

Butthole managed to brace themselves before slamming into the next wall. “You actually have another motive other than premium mobile gaming?” They slammed their hands into the wall as a wall of roots created a shield around the new kid, shielding him from the onslaught of fireballs.

 

“Do you know how many Canadians are in hell now because you guys decided to nuke us?” Beelzaboot flew forward, using his flames to blow away the roots.

 

“Do you know how bad hell is now that almost a million people went to Hell in one day?”

 

“Beelzaboot!” Satan roared, “This is about something else! Stop changing the subject!” Butthole flew ward and finally slammed Beelzeboot into the ceiling. “This has something to do with the LGBT Center in South Park!”

 

Butthole tapped their fingers into the ceiling being Beelzaboot, along a large onslaught of roots to appear around them.

 

“That’s easy!” The Canadian Devil blasted a fist full of fire onto the new kid’s chest.

 

“You see, if you have a horrible LGBT Community in an area, then hat area’s value will go down. And if that area’s value goes down, then the value it has to the state is also weakened.

 

Butthole nodded, blasting more heat and fire into the demon in front of him. “What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Beelzebub sent another series of fireball, this time a lot larger than their hands, at Butthole. They dodged mercilessly, maneuvering themselves to avoid the fireballs.

 

“If you weaken the state’s value, the US’s value goes down. And if the US dollar goes down… then the Canadian dollar goes up!”

 

 

 

Butthole smacked their own face. “That’s… pretty wrong you know.”

 

“Don’t discredit my brilliant idea!” Beelzebub flew forward, this time grabbing Butthole’s to hands as well. Now, the two fighting figures were neck in neck, both giving it their all in a stand-still.

 

“I’m afraid I can’t let you continue with this Beelzaboot!” Butthole pushed a little more, sending Beelzaboot back a small bit.

 

Beelzeboot lost the battle of strength, and was sent flying towards the room. Butthole immediately slammed both hands on the walls, allowing a series of roots to sprout forward. The plant roots simply went straight, having enough force to puncture the wall.

 

* * *

 

Mysterion landed three punches on the henchmen before sending in a fourth critical hit. The demon was slammed against another table; its contents spilling all over the floor. Mysterion looked over to see Butters’ now waist deep in water.

 

“What the hell do you want?” Mysterion shouted. He sent a dark cloud forward to the non responding demon. The cloud pulled him in, allowing Mysterion to land another punch. “ANSWER ME!”

 

The demon swayed back and forth, “Our master wants the US to fall.” Mysterion saw that there were two balls of fire collecting at the demon’s hands. He sprinted away, jumping and dodging the fireballs firing at him.

 

Mysterion was now on the side of the room where Kyle and Butters was. “Butters! Stand away from the glass!”

 

Butters ran back as Mysterion pulled out a small handgun from his pants. He shot the glass several times, allowing the water to flow out.

 

“NO!” The henchmen shouted.

 

“Mysterion!” Butters shouted, “We need to use lighting- that’s their weakness!”

 

“Lightning?” Mysterion looked around the room. As of right now, a good thirty percent of the room was flooded due to Butter’s tank shattering. “Butters, free Kyle now!”

 

“Got it!” Butters ran over to Kyle as Mysterion approached the demon. “Okay butt licker. You’re gonna die now.”

 

“Bring it-“ And just on the other side of the room, the wall burst open. Beelzaboot flew inside the room and hit the ceiling before hitting a table from below.

 

“Butthole!” Mysterion shouted. “They’re in here!”

 

Mysterion jumped back as the henchman started sending in hard punches. He dodged left and right, jumping back and further back to make sure none of the attacks landed.

 

Butthole interrupted their bout by Root Burst’ing the ground. The root sent the demon flying forward towards Mysterion. At that moment, Mysterion was able to land his four punch combo, dealing more damage to the henchmen.

 

Mysterion then grabbed their handgun and aimed it at the demon’s head. He shot a single bullet at the neck of the henchmen.

 

Butthole used their Dragon Reversal to send Beelzaboot from the table towards a wall. They approached the wall slowly, having a fist clenched with them.

 

* * *

 

Call Girl raised her shield of protection as the henchmen she was fighting with attacked her.

 

“Stop that!” the man yelled, “That shit is so annoying!”

 

“Then fucking die already!” Call Girl ran forward and slammed her two selfies sticks again to the demon. “GO. FUCKING. DIE!”

 

With the last blow, she managed to slam the selfie stick on the head of the demon.

 

Tweek sent his thunder attack and struck the demon with it. Craig followed and charged at the demon using his Omega Crash Extra. The demon was sent backwards, making a large dent into a wall.

 

Call Girl walked over and raised the demon’s face with her hands. “Where is Beelzaboot?”

 

The demon laughed, despite it being pinned down. “You’ll never defeat him, buddy.”

 

“I’m not your buddy, guy!” Call Girl spun around and slammed her selfie stick into the demon’s head. The stick itself broke as it decapitated the head of the demon. “And I’m not even a guy.”

 

Tweek clapped at her finishing speech while Craig sighed. “You could of said something better.”

 

 

 

 

“Shut up Craig.”

 

* * *

 

Butthole held Beelzaboot’s collar with both hands, their face being mere inches away from the demon’s. They already knew that Mysterion was behind them- he had successfully taken down the henchmen, and now was watching them.

 

“Beelzaboot! For your crimes against Hell, I hereby sentence you to Title 26 Imprisionment!”

 

“No!” Beelzaboot trembled, “Not title 26!”

 

“Good bye!” Butthole summoned a portal below Beelzaboot, dropping them in. The portal closed immediately, the ground returning back to normal.

 

“Butthole!” Mysterion shouted. “We did it!”

 

Butthole shook as a large spirit exited out of them- Satan’s large form was now standing beside them.

 

“Thank you new kid, for helping me deal with Beelzaboot.” Satan kneeled in front of the new kid. “And now, I am in deep service for you. Please, give a wish, and I will grant it.”

 

The new kid looked around and saw that everyone was now assembled on the floor as well. Craig, Tweek, and Wendy were walking in. Butters and Kyle were still leaning against the wall, watching him talk to Satan. And Kenny was only a few feet away. They leaned in close, whispering a small gibberish to Satan’s ear.

 

“Very well.” Satan gripped his fist, and flexed his arm. Out of thin air, a leather bound book had appeared in front of him.

 

The book had a golden lace around the book stem, tying all the pieces together. It had a leather patch and tie, allowing it to be bounded.

 

“Kenny,” Satan said, his voice echoing across the room. “Here.”

 

“Hmm?” Kenny accepted the book, holding its large size in his hands.

 

“This book will reveal to you more insight about your powers.”

 

“New kid,” Kenny looked over to them. They simply waved and smiled back.

 

“And for your side,” Satan kneeled down once again, leaning close to him. “Go ahead and take your selfie.”

 

The new kid smiled as they aimed their smartphone camera to them and Satan. They hit the shutter button, and immediately posted it on Coonstagram. They then received the notification that Satan had followed them.

 

And now, the new kid’s follower count is 100,000,000,000,000,000 and more.

 

“Farewell children.” Satan waved to them all, “We will see each other soon.”

 

And with that, Satan disappeared into a portal, leaving them all in the cold and dark chamber.

 

* * *

 

Within two days, everyone was slowly going back to normal. The LGBT Center was now cleared of any drugs, and was now open to the public once again. They had also kept all of the money President Garrison had given them, along with the government’s money that they had received for Manbearpig’s capture.

 

Tweek was also allowed to work in the LGBT Center with Craig once again. The two boys missed the center so much, they decided to work on the paperwork together. Sure, it was miserable, but after not doing it for so long- along with the fact that they almost had to closet the center- the paperwork now seemed fun.

 

“Tweek,” Craig requested, “Can you pass me that clipboard?”

 

Tweek bent forward from the sofa and grabbed the clipboard. He passed it to Craig. “You spelt Beelzaboot wrong by the way.”

 

“How do you spell Beelzaboot?”

 

“B E E L Z A B O O T.”

 

“I wrote that.”

 

“You wrote B E E L Z E B U B. That’s Beelzebub, the Norse devil. We have a Canadian devil.”

 

Craig, instead of getting annoyed, smiled, “Thanks babe.”

 

Tweek smiled, going back to his paperwork.

 

Wendy and Stan were now out and about at the South Park Mall once again. They were in front of an H&M when Wendy brought up the night from before.

 

“Stan,” Wendy said, “I was fighting one of Beelzaboot’s henchmen, and the whole time I was just thinking about what you said earlier.”

 

“Wait-“ Stan stopped the girl from walking on. “So you hated that I said all that?”

 

“No Stan I-“ Wendy turned her head down, looking inside her bag of already-bought contents, “I really liked what you said at my door that night. All of that was from your heart, and you were willing to admit your mistakes and your commitments.”

 

“Wendy… I really do care about you.”

 

“Then show me.” Wendy walked up and enclosed the space between them. She leaned in, kissing Stan’s kips with her own. It was a quick peck, but Stan had other plans.

 

As they parted ways, Stan immediately grabbed Wendy’s hand and spun her into his arms.

 

“Stan!” Wendy shouted, sort of surprised by this. She then realized that Stan was dancing her, making her do spins and other stuff that she never really paid attention to.

 

It was then she realized how different Stan had become. His neatly tucked black hair in his beanie was now coming out from the sides. His blue eyes were a beautiful bluebell color; and his lashes were surprisingly nice as well. It was strange staring at Stan like this. She was now dipped to the floor, Stan’s face hovering above hers. It was strange for Wendy, because in this angle, Stan had looked more mature.

 

In fact, she could even say-

 

“Stan, have you grown a bit?”

 

Stan brought Wendy back up from the dip, allowing her to stand up. “Oh my god you grew up a bit taller!”

 

Stan blushed, “No I didn’t Wendy-“

 

“You totally did! Your jeans are too short now!” She pointed to the exposed ankle on Stan’s legs.

 

Butters had fully recovered from that night. Even though he didn’t get too many injuries, he was still rushed to the hospital just for safety reasons.

 

“All right Butters,” his nurse announced, “You’re free to go.”

 

“Yippee!” Butters cheered.

 

“And look who came to help you home!” The nurse opened the door, revealing a blonde kid in an orange parka. He held a small bouquet of flowers in his hand as well.

 

“Kenny!”

 

After Butters was checked out of the hospital, they both decided that they would walk back.

 

“Thanks for the flowers Kenny,” Butters said as he sniffed the single rose in the bundle. “These smell really nice.”

 

“Thanks Butters,” Kenny smiled. He watched as Butters linked his own arm with Kenny’s.

 

“Hey… Ken?”

 

Kenny turned his head to Butters, who’s face had turned as read as a tomato. “Do… you wanna come over? My parents are gonna be happy that I can finally come home and maybe they’ll let us play a board game or something maybe we can play monopoly or something I don’t know-“

 

Kenny started to laugh at Butter’s rambling, who stopped immediately.

 

 

 

“I would love to.”

 

And finally, Kyle.

 

Kyle was still stuck in the hospital bed. He had an IV bag attached due to the large amount of blood he had lost- which he didn’t even know about. Beelzaboot and his henchmen didn’t feed him down there for the four days he was stuck, nor did they do anything about the concussion that he received.

 

The new kid had come everyday for about six hours, spending time with Kyle as much as they can.

 

“Hey new kid,” Kyle spoke up, “Can I ask you something?”

  

>  Go ahead.

 

“Why did you use your wish for Kenny?”

 

> I also got a selfie with Satan.

 

“Yeah, but… why did you use it for Kenny?”

 

The new kid sighed before typing a really long paragraph in their phone. 

 

> Have you ever heard of Kant? And his idea of Categorical Imperative? or about Moral Theory?

 

> See, Kant discovered the idea that maybe, your actions should be morally (or ethnically) based on the fulfillment and duty of the action, rather than the consequences that follow along with it.

  

> Kenny had been suffering more than I am about why he has superpowers, so I used my free wish on him. Because really, my memories will return to me on my own. For Kenny, it’ll almost be impossible for him to learn.

 

Kyle looked up to the new kid after reading the last text. “Does Kenny really have super powers?”

 

The new kid chuckled.

 

> Of course he does, Kyle. Of course he does.

 

Kyle took one last breath before asking, “So… you decided that your memories are less important than Kenny’s superpowers… Does that mean…?”

 

Kyle received zero text messages at that moment. He checked his phone again, and again, and did not receive anything. Kyle his head to the right, because that’s where the new kid was positioned, and saw that the new kid had stood up.

 

The new kid had set themselves to Kyle’s level before closing in, grabbing Kyle’s cheek with their hand.

 

The two kids connected lips, their souls interacting one more time. Their kiss was long and savory; Kyle was surprised to feel a new texture in his mouth- the new kid’s tongue. He could feel the muscle touch the tops and bottoms of his teeth; he could feel the tongue apply more saliva to his lips. Sure, this was really disgusting, but really, this was the best kiss he ever had.

 

When the two kids parted, they were both breathing heavily. Kyle knew that he had lost the time of how long their kiss was. Truth be told, he wished he could go again. Kyle blinked a few times before looking at the new kid straight on.

 

In a low voice, Kyle had heard the following:

 

 

“Don’t you ever think that you’re worth less than other people.”

 

 

 

“In fact… I think you’re an amazing person Kyle.”

 

 

 

“…”

 

 

 

“I ____ ___…”

 

 

Kyle’s ears had stopped working after he heard the first complement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So umm. I actually forgot about this... Beelzebub and Beelzaboot are the same person that I'm referencing in the past chapter and this one. 
> 
> Also, yes I incorporated Kantian philosophy. I'm sorry if you hate philosophy.
> 
> So... I guess this is the end of the LGBT Season of South Park (Unofficial) until a season 2 comes out. No dates are announced yet, because I need to plan out what to do for it. Leave suggestions as to what I should talk about/make an episode of below in a comment or contact me via personal message or as an ask (if you're bold enough) on my blog. 
> 
> And also, I may or may not post my blueprints for this story online. I want to show how I wrote this story because it may inspire you or someone else to do it like this. In fact, it's kinda fun writing it in the south park set up. 
> 
> (What else am I forgetting?) oh yeah, I know I'll go dark on here after posting this. I will respond to comments or read more fan fictions on my own, so if you want to talk to me, go on tumblr! It's one of the most secure ways for me to talk to you without it being public. Seriously, I recommend it. 
> 
> And I know I delayed the story twice here with those two chapters of the Religion AU (but with my twist). I'll definitely continue more on that story eventually, but will most likely write season 2 first. And is anybody excited for a season 2? 
> 
>  
> 
> Okay small info guide to those who want to know about a little something about me and this series.  
> 1) My favorite chapter is probably CrusTea.  
> 2) My least favorite chapter is most likely The Curing Flower.  
> 3) I listened to Lorde non-stop while writing this, so you may see Lorde influences that aren't in the Wolverine Claws chapter.  
> 4) The most read chapters on this series are actually the Introduction, DEY DERK DUR DERBS, and CrusTea. (AKA where the hits come from)  
> 5) My top favorite characters are Craig, Kyle, Butters, and Tweek in that order. I have all the kids listed in order, but nah don't have space for that.  
> 6) I like the ships in south park that actually make an english word with their ship name. Creek, Style, Bunny...  
> 7) Originally, Snooki was supposed to show up in this series. But after much consideration, I removed her because Jersey Shore isn't exactly... current... anymore.  
> 8) I was planning to incorporate Randy singing Perfect Places in this chapter, but I decided to edit it out because I didn't think it was that necessary.  
> 9) I was actually gonna shit on demisexuals but decided that it would be better if I do a whole episode on it in season 2.  
> 10) Last one: I was planning to make more of these episodes filler episodes for season 1, but decided to stick with a narrative. 
> 
>  
> 
> Okay I'm done ranting. THANK YOU GUYS, GALS, AND NON-BINARY PALS. THIS IS YA BUDDY NEGIRA. 
> 
> WHEEEEEEE-
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: please complete this survey if you'd like. This may or may not influence how season 2 will turn out.
> 
> 1) https://strawpoll.com/fkfche45  
> 2) https://strawpoll.com/pbk4rdrc  
> 3) https://strawpoll.com/hgaywwa8


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